Has anyone dated outside of their religion?

[lady_godiva]

I am just curious. I met this really nice guy and we hit it off very well. He is everything I want in a husband, but he is Muslim and I am Christian. He asked me if I could ever marry a Muslim and I told him that it would be very hard. I think I may have ended a good thing before it started, because after I said that he said something to me that hurt my feelings. I believe he said it because of my comment.

I know that we are not supposed to be unequally yoked, but everything else about him is perfect.

What are your thoughts ladies?

 

[Farida]

I think it is a bad idea.

He may be a wonderful guy, but if both of you are serious about religion, it spells trouble, if not now, when you have kids. I don't buy the whole raise them in two religions thing. Mom thinks Jesus is God and dad says he is a prophet - not a good mix.

 

[MrsBKJ]

Its not impossible but I dont think its the best idea if you are both totally into your religion...and if he said something already that hurt your feelings...whats to say he won't again. I think there a few ladies on the board who are in mixed religion marriages.
Let us know what happens...stay strong.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

I haven't. I went out with a Catholic guy a few times, but even that was too different for me. He's still Christian, but there were far too many things that we disagreed about. Good Luck.

 

[Much2much41]

I couldn't do it, especially being Christian. One of my girlfriends tried dating a Muslim guy, until he said he wanted her to be his FIRST wife.

 

[MrsBKJ]

I couldn't do it, especially being Christian. One of my girlfriends tried dating a Muslim guy, until he said he wanted her to be his FIRST wife.

lol...they love to follow the Sunnah but forget their Fardh so easily...men!

 

[daaiyah]

I did. He was Christian and I was Muslim. What made it wonderful is we were always on the same page. He was very respectful of my religion. We had the same viewpoints on all the major stuff.
Like Muslim men he insisted his children be his religion. I knew all of this in the beginning and I accepted this. We had an agreement on religious issues from the beginning, and we have been together 20 years.

It can work, but both parties must have a clear understanding of expectations.
BTW he never asked me to become Christian, I decided to on my own many years later.

 

[harrison]

I did..

But what people fail to realize is that relationships can be difficult enough without people bringing extra stuff into it.

Despite the differences, if you gel on the important stuff... that's what's important.

How many failed relationships/marriages do you see between people with the same religion?

 

[divya]

I have dated outside of my Christian denomination and hopefully will not repeat that. In a way, it feels like dating outside of my "religion" because of the doctrinal differences. I believe that we were unequally yoked for that reason as well as others. Dating outside of Christianity is being unequally yoked. It's probably hard because this guy is a great person. But as harrison said, there are enough challenges in a relationship, try not to add to them. God will send you the right person in time.

Who knows if it isn't this guy? But you should stand your ground as far as dating within your religion. If you all are to be together, let him come your way.

 

[AmilLion]

Yes. I dated someone who was Muslim and I've dated someone who was Catholic.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

This is a good thread!

 

[MindTwister]

Got a question: why are Christian women considering dating a Catholic dating outside their "religion"?

 

[Browndilocks]

In high school and early college I went on dates 2 guys who were not of the same religion as me. They weren't serioius relationships at all so I don't know if that counts. We just went out to eat a time or 2. Even then, there was conflict...

I wouldn't consider it now at all. No room for it and no exceptions. Honestly -I wouldn't even consider dating a guy who although he's a Christian, doesn't have a certain basic knowledge of the bible & scripture that parallel my own spiritual upbringing & beliefs.

 

[prettypuff1]

I am currently. It is going pretty well, but neither one of us is very serious about religon. I was raised christian, but have serious issues with it so i am not practicing anything. He is muslim.... kinda. He has issues with it too, but less than me. I think it isnt a big deal with us, but it sounds like it is to you. If you believe that you must share the same faith, then you shouldnt continue with this.

 

[Farida]

I think the Catholic thing is because though Catholics are Christians, they ave beliefs/practices/traditions that are different enough to be a point of contention.

for example:
baptism of babies
confession to priests
veneraton of the virgin mary - this is usually the biggest issue for most
belief in purgatory
structure of mass
celibacy of priests

etc etc

 

[Starian]

Got a question: why are Christian women considering dating a Catholic dating outside their "religion"?

But if you're Pentecostal and he's Catholic, isn't that 2 different religions with 2 different sets of beliefs? They both fall under the "Christian" umbrella, I guess but even 2 different Christian religions are...well, not the same.

To the original question, I married a Baptist and was raised JW. It'll probably be more of a problem when we have children. We get along fine most of the time, but my parents (well, my Dad mostly) don't care for him since he isn't a JW. His folks don't care about us being together, but his Mom did mention that our kids everlasting future (I guess she's talking about heaven) is at stake depending on which religion we raise them in.

 

[Starian]

I think the Catholic thing is because though Catholics are Christians, they ave beliefs/practices/traditions that are different enough to be a point of contention.

for example:
baptism of babies
confession to priests
veneraton of the virgin mary - this is usually the biggest issue for most
belief in purgatory
structure of mass
celibacy of priests

etc etc

You said it better than me.

 

[hair_wit_favor]

I haven't and wouldnt.

 

[MindTwister]

Sorry if I'm OT:

But if you're Pentecostal and he's Catholic, isn't that 2 different religions with 2 different sets of beliefs? They both fall under the "Christian" umbrella, I guess but even 2 different Christian religions are...well, not the same.

They are two different "denominations" to me, wouldn't consider it two different "religions"
If different sets of beliefs even within Christianity are called "religions" then that means that even though they are all supposed to be Christians, a Baptist cannot marry a Pentecostal, or an SDA cannot marry a member of the Church of Christ etc... because they would be "unequally yoked"

I think the Catholic thing is because though Catholics are Christians, they ave beliefs/practices/traditions that are different enough to be a point of contention.

for example:
baptism of babies
confession to priests
veneraton of the virgin mary - this is usually the biggest issue for most
belief in purgatory
structure of mass
celibacy of priests

etc etc

I think the same can be said of any other two denominations: Baptists don't emphasize the exact same thing as Pentecostals, SDA don't emphasize the same things as the aforementionned denominations, Presbyterians, Lutherans, etc... So then why is Catholicism considered the "ultimate outside Christian denomination" to the point of being considered another "religion"?


As far as the initial question never have and actually haven't dated at all since I truly decided to have a relationship with God.
Don't think I ever will either...

 

[lady_godiva]

How in the world did you get away with not marrying another Jehovah's Witness? Is it okay to remain with the JWs if you marry outside of the faith?

But if you're Pentecostal and he's Catholic, isn't that 2 different religions with 2 different sets of beliefs? They both fall under the "Christian" umbrella, I guess but even 2 different Christian religions are...well, not the same.

To the original question, I married a Baptist and was raised JW. It'll probably be more of a problem when we have children. We get along fine most of the time, but my parents (well, my Dad mostly) don't care for him since he isn't a JW. His folks don't care about us being together, but his Mom did mention that our kids everlasting future (I guess she's talking about heaven) is at stake depending on which religion we raise them in.

 

[Much2much41]

How in the world did you get away with not marrying another Jehovah's Witness? Is it okay to remain with the JWs if you marry outside of the faith?

She said she was raised one, not that she actually is/was one, which makes a difference, and besides that, people are not excommunicated for marrying outside of JW, but if they have sex before they get married, it's a possiblity. There are many JW's married outside of the denomination, but it's heavily discouraged.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

I did, yes, I did, no more. I love my Sugah so no dating anyone else but he is a Christian-one time atheistic/agnostic....now {Hosannah} he praises Jesus Christ. Christians only..and I mean no offense to any other faith.

 

[Sistaslick]

I married out of mine. My husband is a non-practicing Hindu/Buddhist. I was raised COGIC/Pentecostal-- where marrying even Baptist was looked down upon, so you know people were up in arms when I married a non-Christian.

Neither one of us were really super religious people in the faiths we were raised in. We're both spiritual and we talk about God, but we both leave out the extracurriculars. To us, religion is a man made thing, and neither one of us really care for the superficial divisions. Our relationship with God cannot be captured, outlined, or limited to the pages of any text. Our kids attend a private Episcopal school. And that's just us.

 

[Starian]

She said she was raised one, not that she actually is/was one, which makes a difference, and besides that, people are not excommunicated for marrying outside of JW, but if they have sex before they get married, it's a possiblity. There are many JW's married outside of the denomination, but it's heavily discouraged.

What you said. I'm still considered a JW, but I'm "inactive" or non practicing.

As far as getting away with it, I got off a lot easier than other folks in my situation.

The folks in my congregation didn't speak to me afterward and looked at me askance quite often. I have stigma attached to me now, but I got off with the JW's version of a slap on the wrist...

 

[Starian]

Sorry if I'm OT:


They are two different "denominations" to me, wouldn't consider it two different "religions"
If different sets of beliefs even within Christianity are called "religions" then that means that even though they are all supposed to be Christians, a Baptist cannot marry a Pentecostal, or an SDA cannot marry a member of the Church of Christ etc... because they would be "unequally yoked"


I think the same can be said of any other two denominations: Baptists don't emphasize the exact same thing as Pentecostals, SDA don't emphasize the same things as the aforementionned denominations, Presbyterians, Lutherans, etc... So then why is Catholicism considered the "ultimate outside Christian denomination" to the point of being considered another "religion"?


As far as the initial question never have and actually haven't dated at all since I truly decided to have a relationship with God.
Don't think I ever will either...

Well, when I think of "Christian" I think of all religions who believe in and follow (supposedly. ) Christ.

That means all Jesus based religions are "Christian" to me. I don't consider Catholicism to be the "ultimate outside Christian denomination"...

I'll put it this way. If a Catholic marries a Baptist, they will have a hell of an easier time in their marriage since both believe in holidays, birthdays, etc.

Catholicism and JWs? Not so much. Two radically different belief systems.

Bah. It's late and I can't think straight. I'm gonna leave this the way it id and try again tommorow.

 

[candy1214]

@ Starian, I was raised JW as well, but I was never baptized. They gave up on me a looong time ago

My current SO is Muslim and we respect ea. others beliefs and look for commonalities between the two. We both realize that we are Christian and Muslim by default and it's extremely difficult to detach ourselves from what our families have taught us during our youth.

I plan to get a tighter grip on this situation as our relationship evolves, but right now, we're doing what works for us. I believe it can be done.

 

[simplertimes]

I married out of mine. My husband is a non-practicing Hindu/Buddhist. I was raised COGIC/Pentecostal-- where marrying even Baptist was looked down upon, so you know people were up in arms when I married a non-Christian.

Neither one of us were really super religious people in the faiths we were raised in. We're both spiritual and we talk about God, but we both leave out the extracurriculars. To us, religion is a man made thing, and neither one of us really care for the superficial divisions. Our relationship with God cannot be captured, outlined, or limited to the pages of any text. Our kids attend a private Episcopal school. And that's just us.

Wow, that's fascinating.....So is a Buddhist considered an atheist? Because I'm currently talking to an atheist, and I'm curious as to whether or not we will actually have a chance

 

[cheeks87]

I'm atheist so.....yeah....it's not so much a different religion, so much as they HAVE one and I don't. It's damn hard to find a black guy who is atheist or will ADMIT to himself or others that he is atheist(I think we all know TONS of Christians who are Christian in name only).

My boyfriend is Christian but I mean...nowadays that doesn't really mean anything. He goes to church only when he goes home to visit and his mom "makes him". Doesn't read the Bible. And he's of the mentality of "I can do whatever I want cuz it's a dog eat dog world out there and it's screw or get screwed". Whereas I'm into "treat people the way you'd want to be treated". Basically, I consider him, like a LOT of the men I know, lacking in proper morals and ETHICS. Doing crap to people without thinking,"How does what I'm doing AFFECT that person?"

I tell him all the time he needs to go to church. People like him need guidance to do what's right. Like, you know how some people think atheists are immoral and crap because...they don't have a religion to tell them what to do. And I was always like, who is so damn stupid that they have to be told how to act in everyday life? The 10 Commandments are commen sense. It's not like you read them and go, "Ohhhhhhhhh so I'm NOT supposed to kill people?"

But I'm starting to believe....yes....some people's parents don't raise them right....don't teach them how to respect others....and these people really do need religion to keep them in line. Like my boyfriend.

 

[Sistaslick]

Wow, that's fascinating.....So is a Buddhist considered an atheist? Because I'm currently talking to an atheist, and I'm curious as to whether or not we will actually have a chance

Well I think that would depend on who you ask. I know alot of Christians who believe that anything other than Baptist, Presbyterian, Methodist, etc is . . . or might as well be athiest.

I don't see it like that. Buddhist wouldn't be athiest because they do believe in God/s. Athiest means that you don't believe in a God or a supernatural anything. Just us. Period. It'd be more of a montheistic v. polytheistic thing rather than athiest v. Christian or whatever.

I think hubby and I hold deist ideologies more than anything else which is why we do not clash on religious matters. We both believe that there is a God, one God, one power that controls the universe. Everything else beyond that we both feel is man-made or man-inspired. We don't mind visiting churches or temples but we tend to see them more from a traditionalist/cultural point of view. We see those religions and customs as more of some other man's attempt at rationalizing and understanding God. So when his mother wants to rub ashes on our foreheads, we don't see that as a "threat" to our relationship with God as some would see it. And we hold things like Baptisms or Christenings in the same view, none of those things are a threat because they are just different ways that people have resolved to praise and understand God. Neither one of us think that God writes books either, so that pretty much puts us on the same wavelength.

We both think that God is much too big, too powerful, too perfect, and everything else to belong to any one group of people. We think that anyone has the ability to feel and know God and what ever name you call God, God is still the same. We see God like a common experience, like . . . rain. Everyone feels rain and knows what rain is. We've all had experiences with rain no matter who you are or where you are. We all call rain different things in different places, and it means different things to different people, but it is the same thing... rain. Rain can't be monopolized by a group of people, it doesn't descriminate, everyone experiences rain. We see God the same way.

We think that relationships with God are to be personal which is why I can understand how worship and religion might be done differently by different people. And different does not = wrong to us. We don't think any one person or guide can tell you how to have a relationship with or understand God. God is much more dynamic to us than that. And that's why sending our kids to an Episcopal school did not have us up in arms.

 

[Sistaslick]

So would you say you're more of a secular humanist?

I'm atheist so.....yeah....it's not so much a different religion, so much as they HAVE one and I don't. It's damn hard to find a black guy who is atheist or will ADMIT to himself or others that he is atheist(I think we all know TONS of Christians who are Christian in name only).

My boyfriend is Christian but I mean...nowadays that doesn't really mean anything. He goes to church only when he goes home to visit and his mom "makes him". Doesn't read the Bible. And he's of the mentality of "I can do whatever I want cuz it's a dog eat dog world out there and it's screw or get screwed". Whereas I'm into "treat people the way you'd want to be treated". Basically, I consider him, like a LOT of the men I know, lacking in proper morals and ETHICS. Doing crap to people without thinking,"How does what I'm doing AFFECT that person?"

I tell him all the time he needs to go to church. People like him need guidance to do what's right. Like, you know how some people think atheists are immoral and crap because...they don't have a religion to tell them what to do. And I was always like, who is so damn stupid that they have to be told how to act in everyday life? The 10 Commandments are commen sense. It's not like you read them and go, "Ohhhhhhhhh so I'm NOT supposed to kill people?"

But I'm starting to believe....yes....some people's parents don't raise them right....don't teach them how to respect others....and these people really do need religion to keep them in line. Like my boyfriend.