Hair Depression…hair so bad I couldn’t even Big Chop! Seriously? (long post)

[Smiley79]

My Hair Setback…hair so bad I couldn’t even Big Chop! Seriously? (long post)

So I made the decision to big chop my hair (that decision is a whole other thread in itself addressing overcoming self esteem and hair acceptance issues). And as if that wasn’t hard enough to deal with, I arrived at my appt only to be told that I didn’t have enough hair to BC and that my hair was so damaged that I had some visible patches and spots on my scalp. Who knew all this time that I had this dilemma going on; I was told that if I did the big chop that day, (Saturday that just past) it would be a fade and I could possibly have some “see through” areas. I was so devastated to hear that because I thought I had been taking good care of my hair. The areas are mostly in the center to lower part of my head, an area that I cannot see well. So my barber told me for sure, leave the relaxers alone, make sure I’m not stressed out, eat well/drink water and also to lay off any form of heat on my hair. To think that I have a drawer filled with products, Aphogee, ORS Hair Mayo, Giovanni Direct, Aubrey Organics, you name it…and yet after regimen building and product raving, it’s like I have nothing to show for it. How embarrassing! After transitioning 3 months, I don’t even have enough new growth for a big chop! Uggh! I’m so frustrated with my hair; and to hear that it’s severely damaged is the worst. L Now more than ever, for sure, relaxers are out of the question in my book, I can’t even dream of rebounding back to them. And as for the the big chop, I am motivated more than ever to go through with it. Despite this setback, I may do it at the end of December and let 2010 keep my relaxed ends!!! I just hope that those “patches” will grow back. My barber told me, in the meantime, do a couple of deep treatments a week for the next 3-4 weeks counting down to the rescheduled big chop day. He said another month of treating the hair and letting it sit for a minute might do the trick. And he said to massage those areas of my scalp daily. If you all have any tips I’m open to hear, otherwise I just wanted to vent. Braids are not an option because I just can’t afford them right now.


*I got some second opinions too and they all basically said the same thing about my hair; can't do the big chop right now. I also failed to mention above that in addition to my relaxers, I can blame this hair setback on my always using my blow dryer every time I wash my hair rather than roller setting it or air drying. (i hated air drying) I have obviously stopped this and have even put my blow dryer away. All this time I kept using my blow dryer thinking my hair was just fine, and now I have possibly incurred all this damage due to the blow drying and the relaxers. To those who still blow dry constantly, rethink it and opt for another way to dry your hair.

 

[JFK]

So sorry that this is happening to you. I suffered from postpartum shedding and my sides were almost bald.

I began to drink protein shakes, take high doses of biotin (10mg), and recently began massaging with a rosemary/lavender/sulfur mix.

My hair is growing back, thank God. Maybe you can try this if other things don't work.

 

[Smiley79]

Oh that's good to hear. Yes, i'm willing to try that. I do have some bee mine on the way and I have rosemary. I really want to use what I already have on hand and not go into a rage of product buying, lol, but I will definitely do the massagesa and mix the rosemary to some bee mine. I have heard great thinngs about Rosemary oil. Thx JFk. i will keep you all posted on the progress and whatever decision I make over the next few weeks.

 

[JerriBlank]

Wow. I'm sorry to hear that. I had a spot that was super weak when I was relaxed. I would stretch for months,massage the area with Boundless Tresses daily and see definite improvement,only to relax and watch the hair in that area break right off again. It didn't take me long to decide to chuck up the deuces to the relaxers after that. In addition to BT, tea tree oil also helped grow the area back in. I can barely find it now,except for a slightly tender area on my scalp... yeah relaxer damage is no joke. I hope you can rebound from this,and going natural sounds like the very best decision you could make for your hair with the description of your scalp issues.

 

[Smiley79]

Thanks LB, yup, I'm deuces to the relaxers for real! It's not for everyone; certainly not me! 15 years of relaxers have caught up with my tailfeather! Initially, I was going into the natural journey to "try something new" but now it's turned into something that I NEED to do. Who'd a thought that. I should change the heading title and take out the word "deression" because I'm actually happy that I found someone who took the time to look at hair and let me know what was going on. So with that said, I can now fix the problem rather than continue going on with a semi-crazy head of hair and continuing with some bad hair habits.

 

[diadall]

I am so sorry to hear about your story. I am not stylist but do you think they should go ahead and BC anyway so you can at least start to take care of the parts that needed the most attention?

 

[Miss_C]

IMO, 3 months is a little too soon to chop after so long with relaxers. Don't feel bad about the weak spots. When I first stopped getting relaxers I had a very weak spot on my hairline from weaves that I deep conditioned and massaged with castor oil for months. Wait for 3-6 more months. I know that's longer than you wanted if you were intitially wanting a three month transition. Don't watch the pot, and your hair will turn around before you know it.

 

[Smiley79]

I am so sorry to hear about your story. I am not stylist but do you think they should go ahead and BC anyway so you can at least start to take care of the parts that needed the most attention?

Yes , we did agree on that. He just suggested that I take a few weeks of doing some deep treatments just to minimize that chances of having thin spots in certain areas. But regardless, in the next 3-4 weeks, it's all coming off so I can give the hair a fresh start.

 

[Smiley79]

IMO, 3 months is a little too soon to chop after so long with relaxers. Don't feel bad about the weak spots. When I first stopped getting relaxers I had a very weak spot on my hairline from weaves that I deep conditioned and massaged with castor oil for months. Wait for 3-6 more months. I know that's longer than you wanted if you were intitially wanting a three month transition. Don't watch the pot, and your hair will turn around before you know it.

I understand your point and it does make sense; i highly doubt that I would realistically be able to wait that long, but I am not dismissing that as a possibility in the event that my hair really isn't ready to be cut. That's why I'm really trying to treat those areas. (the rest of my hair is full and good to go). We'll see and thanks for the tip.

 

[bride91501]

I'm sorry to hear about your set back. The good thing is that you sound like you have a GREAT stylist who has given you GREAT advice on how to care for your hair during this difficult period.

If you think you can rock a fade look, I'd say go ahead and do the BC this month. You may be surprised....I always thought I had a "big head" and couldn't do a super short look, but after my BC it's hard for me to admit I'm actually a *tad* bit prettier with short hair lol. Even if this isn't the case for you, you can always do wigs until you're more comfortable with your length, which will give you the added benefit of having constant access to your scalp for observation and treatment.

Good luck to you, no matter what you decide to do. *hugs*

 

[diadall]

Yes , we did agree on that. He just suggested that I take a few weeks of doing some deep treatments just to minimize that chances of having thin spots in certain areas. But regardless, in the next 3-4 weeks, it's all coming off so I can give the hair a fresh start.

Good. Hopefully in a few weeks time you will have a success story to share.

 

[Smiley79]

I'm sorry to hear about your set back. The good thing is that you sound like you have a GREAT stylist who has given you GREAT advice on how to care for your hair during this difficult period.

If you think you can rock a fade look, I'd say go ahead and do the BC this month. You may be surprised....I always thought I had a "big head" and couldn't do a super short look, but after my BC it's hard for me to admit I'm actually a *tad* bit prettier with short hair lol. Even if this isn't the case for you, you can always do wigs until you're more comfortable with your length, which will give you the added benefit of having constant access to your scalp for observation and treatment.

Good luck to you, no matter what you decide to do. *hugs*

Thanks Bride and hugs back to you girl, lol. That was (and is) still a fear of mine. I've always been a 12"-16" weave and wig addict. So I think a fade on me would look like . But I realize that I've conditioned myself to think that for all these years and could never stop out the box to atleast try it and do what I have to do to get where I need to get regarding the health of my hair. Living down here in South Florida where every one wants to be a Barbie or a Kim Kardashian, the thought of a big chop was so far from my mind and not often welcome from the local beauticians down here. (that's why I had to resort to going to the barber shop for my service!) But I hope I will embrace the look as I grow it out and maybe it'll grow onto me, lol.

 

[Smiley79]

And yes, if worse case scenario I end up with those spots, I do have my wigs I can wear as needed until I nurse those patches back to health. But i really hope the deep treatments help it out soon. In my hair product stash, I have Aphogee 2 min, Joico K Pak Deep Penetrating Recon, ORS Hair Mayo, BeeMine, EOs, and Castor Oil. I'm gonna figure out what to use from what I have and stick to it for the next few weeks.

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

I'm sorry you got bad news from your barber but it's not the end of the world. Know that you're gorgeous regardless and chop it right on off mama.

Slightly related: Check out Wanakee's Method. You can blowdry hair on low and medium settings to a point where it's just a little damp. That way you don't blowfry your hair because there's still a bit of moisture there. A little tweak but it makes a world of difference.

 

[Sianna]

I always hate to hear about anyone having a setback on their hair journey, but it sounds like you are really determined to bounce back from it and press forward! I'm so glad to see that!

As far as your thin/weak areas, don't worry about it too much. I've heard that massaging thin areas with castor oil works, so maybe you can consider that as well.

On a personal note, I had a thin/weak spot at the crown of my head when I did my BC, but fortunately my hair was just thick enough that it wasn't readily noticeable. I actually didn't do anything special to get it to grow back. Just conditioned, oiled and moisturized it along with the rest of my hair, and now you would never know I had a problem there! Just be patient and don't get yourself all worked up over it. It'll grow back!

Please keep us updated!

 

[Smiley79]

I'm sorry you got bad news from your barber but it's not the end of the world. Know that you're gorgeous regardless and chop it right on off mama.

Slightly related: Check out Wanakee's Method. You can blowdry hair on low and medium settings to a point where it's just a little damp. That way you don't blowfry your hair because there's still a bit of moisture there. A little tweak but it makes a world of difference.

Thanks girl, I'll check that out. And yea, I'm so antsy to chop that sucker off, lol. You all have been so supportive and encouraging. I know it will be ok. just patience and taking care of the hair.

 

[Smiley79]

I always hate to hear about anyone having a setback on their hair journey, but it sounds like you are really determined to bounce back from it and press forward! I'm so glad to see that!

As far as your thin/weak areas, don't worry about it too much. I've heard that massaging thin areas with castor oil works, so maybe you can consider that as well.

On a personal note, I had a thin/weak spot at the crown of my head when I did my BC, but fortunately my hair was just thick enough that it wasn't readily noticeable. I actually didn't do anything special to get it to grow back. Just conditioned, oiled and moisturized it along with the rest of my hair, and now you would never know I had a problem there! Just be patient and don't get yourself all worked up over it. It'll grow back!

Please keep us updated!

Thanks for the tips and encouragement. I am determined to bounce back from this. And yes, I'm being told a LOT about the importance of massaging those areas and I started that immediately. i hope it works and I will keep you all posted on the outcome and progress.

 

[bride91501]

Thanks Bride and hugs back to you girl, lol. That was (and is) still a fear of mine. I've always been a 12"-16" weave and wig addict. So I think a fade on me would look like . But I realize that I've conditioned myself to think that for all these years and could never stop out the box to atleast try it and do what I have to do to get where I need to get regarding the health of my hair. Living down here in South Florida where every one wants to be a Barbie or a Kim Kardashian, the thought of a big chop was so far from my mind and not often welcome from the local beauticians down here. (that's why I had to resort to going to the barber shop for my service!) But I hope I will embrace the look as I grow it out and maybe it'll grow onto me, lol.

Girl let me tell you, there was NO bigger weave addict than me. And I graduated from 12" long ago...I was rocking 16-18" weaves for years right before my BC lol. And even though I'm PSing for the winter under wigs (shorter ones this time- 12" max lol), I was shocked to discover that I look better with super short hair. Not that this will deter me from my super-long hair goal, but I'm just saying

You can get a good amount of growth in 4 weeks- about 1/2" if you're in the normal growth range. That's more than enough to cover a thinning or balding spot.

Keep your head up, keep us updated, and remember to post pics!

 

[Smiley79]

Girl let me tell you, there was NO bigger weave addict than me. And I graduated from 12" long ago...I was rocking 16-18" weaves for years right before my BC lol. And even though I'm PSing for the winter under wigs (shorter ones this time- 12" max lol), I was shocked to discover that I look better with super short hair. Not that this will deter me from my super-long hair goal, but I'm just saying

You can get a good amount of growth in 4 weeks- about 1/2" if you're in the normal growth range. That's more than enough to cover a thinning or balding spot.

Keep your head up, keep us updated, and remember to post pics!

Girl, you have me rolling over here. "Not that this will deter me from my super-long hair goal, but I'm just saying " Well from one former weave addict to another, let's get this show on a roll and grow some hair! lol. Good to hear different stories and experiences. I was tired of fretting over this all weekend.

 

[Vashti]

I'm glad to see you aren't giving up on your hair! I was in a similar position years ago. The first time I had a relaxer that broke off all of my hair. I wore a wig for a while and then I got braids. The second time I was very ill at the time and my hair was in such terrible shape that my family convinced me to go to the barbershop and get it all shaved off. I know that may be radical but after a month it was so nice to see my natural new growth coming in again. I wore make up and large earrings during that time. You could try that. It doesn't take long for your hair to grow back.

I continued to have issues with my hairline being patchy and bald until this year. MTG and hair vitamins and keeping to low manipulation techniques and keeping my hair natural has helped me a lot! I'm sure going natural will do the trick for you too! Keep us posted!

 

[Janet']

I love it that you are so motivated to turn this setback into a comeback! Good for you! Please keep us posted and don't forget, we want to see pics when you finally do BC!!

 

[Smiley79]

Wow Vashti that's good to hear your story and how your came back. But you took the plunge and dealt with the hair issue accordingly.

 

[Smiley79]

@ Janet: Girl you gonna make me put my BC out there huh? LOL. j/k. Ok, I'll post a photo of it. (Smiley79 takes a deep breath) And yes, this thread will be updated with progress and what happens.

 

[Smiley79]

What vitamins do you all recommend? I'd like to add a supplement to my diet in additon to my mulit vitamin? Biotin gave me BAD headaches.

 

[lovely_locks]

Ever since going natural I have had a bad scalp. I had these scabs on my scalp. My husband said the looked like crusty blood and eye crust. On top of that I had dandruff. Google search Gro Aut oil. I have been using this the past week, and my scalp is almost 100% better. No lie! I only have a small patch (the size of my pinky nail) that is still poor. It is a little pricey but so worth it. You can also try exercising. It's a great destresser, and is just good for you. And your right on track about no heat. OH! And the best advice I got from this forum is that hair grows from the inside out. Take care of the inside and it will show on the outside.

 

[BostonMaria]

Smiley, I'm sorry you're going through this

By the way, not sure if this has been mentioned by anyone else, but in 3 months a person should have approximately 1 inch of new growth. Maybe 1 1/2 inches, but unless that person is a super duper grower it should be about that. So don't feel bad that you don't have "enough" hair for a BC.

If I were you I'd give it another 3 months and then do the BC just to have at least 3 inches of hair, but that's completely up to you.

 

[Smiley79]

Thanks ladies, I appreciate all the good advice and support. Big hugs to you all.

 

[TLC1020]

Awww sorry to hear about your setback..

You're not alone, I had a set back also and to cute my hair to twa.... So I know what you are going thru... Hang it there, I'm wearing braids right now to get me over the hump...Maybe you could try wearing something different to get your mind of your hair..

 

[Smiley79]

Thanks TLC...I feel a whole lot better since venting this out to you all....and yesterday I did a treatment using my Aphogee 2 Min and I followed it with my Aubrey Organics HSR. So the kick off has begun to nursing my hair back to health and I have decided to move forward with the BC sooner than later. (date pending) Thanks again for all the advice and encouraging words and keep the tips coming.

 

[Lady Esquire]

leave the relaxers alone, make sure I’m not stressed out, eat well/drink water and also to lay off any form of heat on my hair. To think that I have a drawer filled with products, Aphogee, ORS Hair Mayo, Giovanni Direct, Aubrey Organics, you name it…and yet after regimen building and product raving, it’s like I have nothing to show for it. How embarrassing! After transitioning 3 months, I don’t even have enough new growth for a big chop! Uggh! I also failed to mention above that in addition to my relaxers, I can blame this hair setback on my always using my blow dryer every time I wash my hair rather than roller setting it or air drying. (i hated air drying) I have obviously stopped this and have even put my blow dryer away. All this time I kept using my blow dryer thinking my hair was just fine, and now I have possibly incurred all this damage due to the blow drying and the relaxers. To those who still blow dry constantly, rethink it and opt for another way to dry your hair.

The ladies have given you some great advice. Stretching relaxers or going natural would be a great break from all of the stress your scalp has endured. When I first started in '05, I stressed my hair with hot curlers and hair gel. So, I literally threw them away. I braided for about 5 months. Then, once I had enough "healthy" hair, I big-chopped to a teeny weeny afro. My regimen was simple: DCd 2x a week, airdried, moisturized 2x daily and protected my hair. Once the hair grew longer, I started with rollersets.

I relate to you because I too suffered a huge setback due to postpartum shedding. But guess what? My hair is thriving, growing, healthy and thick. Why? I didn't miss a beat with my simple regimen. Because the regimen was like second nature, I immediately went into protection mode.

You have all of the products, and you KNOW exactly what to do. Also, its not as much as what you use, but HOW you use it that determines whether you're abusing your hair. So build a regimen that you'll be able to maintain consistently. I agree wholeheatedly with the person who recommended that you eat healthily. That can do wonders for new growth.

The positive element of going through a setback is that it forces you to learn what your hair needs and what techniques it can really handle in the long run...so approach this season as if its a challenge for you to give your hair TLC like never before. Losing hair can be so disheartening. Don't stress...it'll be counterproductive.