Going on THREE years transitioning - so frustrated

[crazydaze911]

Hey ladies:
i need to be cheered up big time - lol. im so cranky. i just realized when i was posting in another thread that next week will make THREE YEARS since my last relaxer!

whats the big deal? i've been transitioning w/out a BC this whole time and i still have TONS of relaxed ends left - im so depressed. Im such a slow grower it makes me SICK. if i were to BC now after 3 years, i would probs be just a lil bit below shoulder length - im not willing to go that short - especially since growing it back will probably take another 3 years

I try not to straighten but thats the only thing that makes my hair look decent. otherwise im stuck in a bun (which i've been wearing FOREVER, but incorrectly until i found LHCF in 05). my relaxed/natural hair is so ununiform, curly styles look retarded. even braidouts end up with straight ends. and the curls are of all different lengths so when u see me from behind it looks like i added some extensions in that are longer than my natural hair and i didnt add enough lol.

I dont know what im in here looking for, just needed to vent....

Please see attached pic (click to make it bigger), and my siggy. also keep in mind i BKTed in September, so w/out that, the stark difference would be EVEN WORSE erplexed

 

[melissa-bee]

Just cut the ends of you'll be fine.
Snip snip, snip snip, SNIP.

 

[MsBoinglicious]

your hair is still pretty!

 

[Cali*Rocks]

^^^^ Yep I say do it.. I never EVER in my life thought that I would have hair this short but you know what? I love it!! Whatever you decide your hair is absolutely beautiful

 

[maxineshaw]

What would be wrong with getting rid of the relaxed ends? I would just let them go.

 

[Creatividual]

Just cut the ends of you'll be fine.
Snip snip, snip snip, SNIP.

What she said. You look like you've got over 75% natural hair and it looks pretty long. Go for it you'll still be fabulous

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Have you tried to rod your ends for curly styles? I have been transitioning for almost 2 years (but with mini chops) so I totally understand.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

just snip em off. it seemed to me that when i did the bc my hair started growing faster. it may have been all in my mind though.

 

[Lyoness]

chop chop chop!!!!!

 

[*CherryPie*]

I think your hair looks BEAUTIFUL!!!

Cut those relaxed ends off!

 

[TrustMeLove]

Depeding upon how often you straighten you could have straightened your curly hair straight and now you think they are relaxed ends...when they are really just heat stretched.

I would like the relaxed ends GO! Unless you plan to wear your natural hair straight.

 

[Foxglove]

If it were me... I would cut
Don't be afraid of SL unstretched hair
Why do you think it would look so bad on you?

 

[C@ssandr@]

I agree with everyone else. I think that once you snip the end result will outweigh your concern with having "short hair" Then you won't have to fight yourself and be as frustrated anymore.

 

[ChristmasCarol]

Maybe cut a little every 10 days or so if cutting them all off at once would be traumatizing. That way you can get used to shorter hair gradually. I can't believe I'm even using the words "shorter hair" when referring to that gorgeous mane of yours!

 

[Highly Favored8]

Congratlations on your transition. Your hair is still very pretty. You can do it.

 

[mrsjohnson75]

Trying cutting 1/2 inch off every month. That way you will get used to the shorter length gradually. I think your hair is beautiful and it will still be past SL curly...longer when straight.

 

[Neith]

You're being SO hard on yourself!

1. Your hair seems to grow at a good rate. Your natural hair is below shoulder unstretched. It's probably at or close to APL straightened. You're right on track with growth

2. Try rollers on your ends for braidouts!

 

[BlondeByDesire]

Yeah i say cut too, who know they may speed up the growth process. SL length is a pretty good start at natural.

 

[crazydaze911]

Depeding upon how often you straighten you could have straightened your curly hair straight and now you think they are relaxed ends...when they are really just heat stretched.

I would like the relaxed ends GO! Unless you plan to wear your natural hair straight.

Im sure they are relaxed ends. i rollerset once every 2 months. Flatiron 2 or 3 times a year...Im scared to let them go b/c im a slow grower - been SL all my life, dont feel like going back and waiting another 5 years for WL - i get 3 inches a year WITHOUT trims....

 

[halee_J]

Girl, your hair is gorgeous. I say go for it! and move to the next chapter in your hair journey

 

[crazydaze911]

Thanks for your input ladies. I think theres only one other person whos been transitioning for 3 years..... i guess i've waited this long cuz i've gotten so much attention with long hair - feels so nice..im still debating. I wish weave was an option so i wouldnt think about it so much but i've had a bad experience with every weave i've had and i LIKE feeling my scalp and scratching it when it itches lol

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

Your hair looks good to me I would definately get rid of the 20% of relaxed ends that's left. You'll still have a nice length curly or straightened.

 

[Desarae]

Have you ever tried a Curly Nikki Twist Curl? That might help the ends blend more..
or you can just cut and fuggetaboutit
http://www.curlynikki.com/2008/10/as-promised-t-n-c-tutorial-is-here-d.html

 

[Nerd.]

..... i guess i've waited this long cuz i've gotten so much attention with long hair - feels so nice..

Girl, the issue seems deeper My heart goes out to you.
I am also that "long haired girl". But I am learning that this transition (for me) isn't about my hair at all. It is about stripping away all things and loving myself just the way I am, and NOT how other people love me (with long processed swinging hair)

It may sound silly, but the first time I did something as simple as wearing a bun out in public, has truly been a liberating experience.It was because I hid behind the hair for so long. Rid yourself from this nonsense and do what feels right to you and only you. Make yourself a better person in the process. I wish you the best

 

[Irresistible]

yeah the relaxed longer ends are pretty sparse and few I would just get rid of them

 

[crazydaze911]

Thank you guys!

 

[Kneechay]

you hair is pretty, and i know how u feel and I went through it last summer, in 08. I went from almost apl to shoulder. Like naturaltobe said, try using rods on the ends. I'm completely natural now and i still have to use rods on some of my ends. Do you feel like the heat may be a factor in the stringy, relaxed-looking ends?

 

[diva24]

Do you think its the BKT?

 

[GodivaChocolate]

Just do a bunch of mini chops, chop off an inch every 4-6 months and slowly transition that way. It will allow you to see growth and eliminate the ends....personally I think you have great growth and your hair looks really pretty!

 

[Ediese]

I'd go ahead and snip too. I transitioned for about 2.5 years. I was BSL when I chopped, and was able to have APL after the chop. I was a little upset to lose the length, but now I'm happy I did it.