intergalacticartist
New Member
I think it's really dangerous to be manipulating people with sex
I really don't think that men necessarily WANT or CRAVE marriage like lots of women do, i really don't. Like ..."if i'm already getting wife benefits ...i'm cool w/out a marriage license "
Some folks have no problem giving up their good-good but they REFUSE to put the crayon in their mouth, go backdoor, or let the crayon do other stuff...
Hmm I do get the logic behind that idea but I dunno if that's how it really works out in real life. I feel like it places an unrealistically high emphasis on sex. I mean sex is important but not that important.
I'm in a LDR, so it doesn't really apply to me. I will say though that since I live on my own, I've become very comfortable walking around the house naked. lol Since we video chat every night, I had to put a stop to that. After I thought about it, I realize that I don't want him to get too accustom to seeing me in the nude. I could imagine that would get old after a while.
I always think of that cereal commercial whenever I hear discussions like these and I just want to say that line.."You silly rabbit..tricks are for kids"..It has been said over and over again if a man wants to marry you, he will do it regardless of what you may/or may not be rationing. I think men are very simple when it comes to decisions like these..they don't tend to overthink and over analyze like us women do about everything in a relationship. I will not play games to trick a person into moving to the next level in a relationship or marriage. I want a man to marry me because he plain and simple wants to. I do believe in not giving the cooch to every Tom, Dick and Harry but when I do I will not be playing coochie games.
Oh you lucky ladies, getting sexed up whenever you feel. *sigh*. My SO feels like everything that is wrong in our relationship is because we aren't saved, which means he often feels guilty about the act whenever it *seldomly* happens.
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OUCH! And how does that make you feel?
Yes, I do regulate how much I "give it up." IMO doing it too much will spoil him, cause him to get too comfortable and complacent because his hunt will be up....
And there def is no, and will be no, hittin it raw unless we're married.... he knows I only believe in hormonal bc after marriage and that I don't believe in single-parenthood for myself so that settles that bit....
Oh you lucky ladies, getting sexed up whenever you feel. *sigh*. My SO feels like everything that is wrong in our relationship is because we aren't saved, which means he often feels guilty about the act whenever it *seldomly* happens.
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When your man loves you, seeing you naked never gets old to him.
You might want to ask some men about this. I've heard co-workers talking about their wives and saying things like "I wish she'd put a towel on when she gets out of the shower". "Does she always have to brush her hair naked?". "At least put a bra on". erplexed How we got on the topic in the first place is entirely different thread...When your man loves you, seeing you naked never gets old to him.
Oh you lucky ladies, getting sexed up whenever you feel. *sigh*. My SO feels like everything that is wrong in our relationship is because we aren't saved, which means he often feels guilty about the act whenever it *seldomly* happens.
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Are you sure we aren't dating the same guy?!?!?! i kid, i kid lol..... for me however, it's not a matter of being lucky, I feel relieved bc I experience that same level of guilt and that I'm devaluing myself and the relationship. As much as I've dated, I've not been equally comfortable with the sexual activity once in my relationships, so I usually have to drink something to do it... This is also why it's so easy for me to put the reigns on sexual activity compared to other single women. I'm glad not to be in the situation anymore.....
this is how I feel about it; I personally consider sex on the regular a wifely duty, until I become a wife I will have self-restraint. Since I am no longer a virgin, I do believe in saving little things for my husband where he will be the first and only. I will say that there is a lot for me and my future husband to look forward to in the sex department. Doing things in increments and working on a earn-reward system (for lack of a better phrase) also applies to my relationships overall. I have nothing against other women's choices but for my own comfort, I move slow as molasses in January, in regards to physical activity and it's never hindered my relationships. I actually find it encourages initiative......
There was a thread on this I think. Some folks have no problem giving up their good-good but they REFUSE to put the crayon in their mouth, go backdoor, or let the crayon do other stuff...
I see it from both sides. You already gave it up, so you want to somehow save more intimate acts for your husband.
However, some say how much more intimate can you be if you already let him in your good-good? You let him in. Your mileage went up 1 mile already.
I don't think being naked all the time is sexy either...
LOL reminds me of that Seinfeld episode LOL
Ladies there are 3 of us up in this boat.. When SO and I just started out....coloring was on and popping all the time. Dang, dude has stamina. Best.coloring.ever . But we are both trying to be good christians so we are trying to hold back on that. His idea really .
When sex was regular, he wasn't losing interest cuz I'm baaad (as in really good ). We hold back now because of the guilt . I'm ok with it because SO's all in love and amped to marry me and I see him really trying to "do right by me" in all areas of our relationship. He believes if we put God first we'll be fine. He's my snugger bugger and I love him .
Also, we both know it might be unrealistic to think we'll NEVER have sex pre-marriage again but we're trying dammit .... taking it one week at a time
I'd like to hear more about this... Curiosity has gotten the best of me.
Are you sure we aren't dating the same guy?!?!?! i kid, i kid lol..... for me however, it's not a matter of being lucky, I feel relieved bc I experience that same level of guilt and that I'm devaluing myself and the relationship. As much as I've dated, I've not been equally comfortable with the sexual activity once in my relationships, so I usually have to drink something to do it... This is also why it's so easy for me to put the reigns on sexual activity compared to other single women. I'm glad not to be in the situation anymore.....
What's odd is that I notice I am much...nastier now. Like, I kind of have a potty mouth. I almost called my boss the n word. Idk why. It just seemed right. Or, I say explicit sexual things when I used to be much more reserved with my language. I even use profanity sometimes...and its hard to talk better now. I blame it all on lack of coloring.
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O see I've always been explicit and borderline offensive with my sexual rhetoric (as well as been a proponent of masturbation)
I've always watched porn too, my homegirl used to say "barbie watches porn like they're cartoons." With me it's just that actions speak louder than words-- my language and flirtatiousness alludes to sex but the sex I actually have is quite limited. lol Now my SO isnt even tryna hear about it as much because of the clean thing....
forgive me if I'm being intrusive but just out of curiosity, what are you going to do about this with your SO since you want to and he doesnt? Is he waiting for marriage now or something like that?
There was a thread on this I think. Some folks have no problem giving up their good-good but they REFUSE to put the crayon in their mouth, go backdoor, or let the crayon do other stuff...