Friendship Breakups are the worst!!!

[aja1121]

sorry, this is long!!

When I graduated from college, I didn't move back home...I decided to stay in that city. Which meant that 99% of my friends that I met in school moved back home or elsewhere. So, 99% of my friends in this city are past or present coworkers.

Last year, I became somewhat sister-like with one of my coworkers. We bonded at a time when we were both going through it with our SOs and that was my girl! Ok, In January of this year, I was promoted and became her boss. This is where the problems arose: not because of jealousy, she just expected me to let her get away with murder because of our friendship.

We have commmunications problems a lot; just down right misinterpretations and we have scream wars and falling outs about it. But we always bounced back from it. A couple of days ago I went out with some of my friends and told her I would come through her spot later and chill with her and our other friend (her roomate and other coworker that is jealous of my promotion and is guaranteed my position if I leave). But when I got done with my other friends I was a little tipsy and told her I wouldn't be able to make it. She made me feel bad and was acting real needy like she was my man or something.

So I went anyway. Stayed for like 45 minutes and then bounced. On the way home, I was pulled over for speeding. Nothing happened, no ticket...my SO is a P.O.and by the grace of GOD, some officers take that professional courtesy seriously. I was relieved, but I was mad at myself and her because I should've just gone home and then her as a friend, shouldn't have acted so needy. I ended being 3 hours late for work the next morning, she and my boss were calling non-stop, they were really worried.

So when I got to work, I was pissed. I ignored the hell out of her and I was being mean. She came to talk to me and I was being real nonchalant, kind of rude. But, I didn't know what to say without placing the blame on her, knowing it was really my fault and that I could've avoided the entire situation.

Sunday, I yelled at her...and I guess that was the last straw because she told me our friendship was over. Now, the tables have turned and I realize how horrible I was, but she won't give me the time of day. It's hard to let go of a friendship when you have to see that person 5 days a week and you are their boss!!!

Now, her friendship with our other friend is stronger than ever and when I here them laugh every 5 minutes, it makes me cringe. I overracted in this situation and now I really want my friend back. But it's hard with our other friend in the middle. I think he likes us not talking.

 

[Caramela]

Maybe you were a little too attached to eachother. It might be healthy to take a break.
You may miss your friend but the dynamic of the way you two interact with eachother is very childish on both parts.

 

[aja1121]

Yeah, you're right. We can act very childish and my mom always told me that "people come in your life for seasons".

 

[ClassicChic]

I say that you two need to take a break. The relationship you two have is not normal. Very childish, with the screaming and demands and so forth.

It's going to be hard since you have to work with her and since you are her boss. Oh, whatever they are laughing about is really not all that funny. They are just trying to get under your skin. Take a deep breath and let it roll off your back.

 

[Syrah]

sorry, this is long!!

When I graduated from college, I didn't move back home...I decided to stay in that city. Which meant that 99% of my friends that I met in school moved back home or elsewhere. So, 99% of my friends in this city are past or present coworkers.

Last year, I became somewhat sister-like with one of my coworkers. We bonded at a time when we were both going through it with our SOs and that was my girl! Ok, In January of this year, I was promoted and became her boss. This is where the problems arose: not because of jealousy, she just expected me to let her get away with murder because of our friendship.

We have commmunications problems a lot; just down right misinterpretations and we have scream wars and falling outs about it. But we always bounced back from it. A couple of days ago I went out with some of my friends and told her I would come through her spot later and chill with her and our other friend (her roomate and other coworker that is jealous of my promotion and is guaranteed my position if I leave). But when I got done with my other friends I was a little tipsy and told her I wouldn't be able to make it. She made me feel bad and was acting real needy like she was my man or something.

So I went anyway. Stayed for like 45 minutes and then bounced. On the way home, I was pulled over for speeding. Nothing happened, no ticket...my SO is a P.O.and by the grace of GOD, some officers take that professional courtesy seriously. I was relieved, but I was mad at myself and her because I should've just gone home and then her as a friend, shouldn't have acted so needy. I ended being 3 hours late for work the next morning, she and my boss were calling non-stop, they were really worried.

So when I got to work, I was pissed. I ignored the hell out of her and I was being mean. She came to talk to me and I was being real nonchalant, kind of rude. But, I didn't know what to say without placing the blame on her, knowing it was really my fault and that I could've avoided the entire situation.

Sunday, I yelled at her...and I guess that was the last straw because she told me our friendship was over. Now, the tables have turned and I realize how horrible I was, but she won't give me the time of day. It's hard to let go of a friendship when you have to see that person 5 days a week and you are their boss!!!

Now, her friendship with our other friend is stronger than ever and when I here them laugh every 5 minutes, it makes me cringe. I overracted in this situation and now I really want my friend back. But it's hard with our other friend in the middle. I think he likes us not talking.

What about friends of your good friend's SO?

So my girl was dating this guy for like 5 years. We'd always hang out with his friends - silly type stuff - barbecuing at the park at like 2 AM, going to clubs and acting a fool, playing basketball at 4 AM in the park, using our cars' (positioned just so) headlights as lighting.

They broke up and now I don't see his friends anymore. It's kinda sad because we all had so much fun together.

 

[aja1121]

I say that you two need to take a break. The relationship you two have is not normal. Very childish, with the screaming and demands and so forth.

It's going to be hard since you have to work with her and since you are her boss. Oh, whatever they are laughing about is really not all that funny. They are just trying to get under your skin. Take a deep breath and let it roll off your back.

Yeah, our relationship isn't normal...she is 4 years my senior and we are only children. So, I guess we made some sort of big sis little sis fake sibling rivalry. Yeah, a break is defintely needed.