For married woman/long term relationships

[Kawaii1]

A lot of people say that the your spouse/bf's parents realtionship is their first example of love and kids with divorced parents are more likely to value relationships less and be divorced. Do you think this is true? I wonder about this sometimes and I get paranoid becase my DH's parents are divorced and it makes me wonder if I should be concerned?

 

[Starian]

Well my husband grew up in a household where he saw his father beat his mother until she finally left and divorced him when he was 4. His father never played with him or gave him any real attention.

He's the complete opposite of his father and says that he wants his life to be like what he wished he had as a child.

His early home life seems to have made him determined to be the opposite of what he witnessed. Same goes for his older brother who saw more than he did.

 

[Sashaa08]

A lot of people say that the your spouse/bf's parents realtionship is their first example of love and kids with divorced parents are more likely to value relationships less and be divorced. Do you think this is true? I wonder about this sometimes and I get paranoid becase my DH's parents are divorced and it makes me wonder if I should be concerned?

Kawaii, I wouldn't be worried. My father never met his real father until he was in his twenties. He had a good-for-nothing stepfather in and out of his early childhood but was pretty much raised by his grandmother and an aunt and alcoholic uncle. He is a fantastic father and was happily married to my mom until she passed away (they were married for over 40 years).

 

[Evolving78]

That could go either way. The person could grow from a bad experience or the could drown from it. A relationship with the parents plays a big role in how you SO/DH will be. My husband doesn't have a relationship with his father and he doesn't have a good one with his mother. My Dh had no man in his life to go for advice, comfort or anything. He has to learn everything on his own. A mother can only teach a boy so much. Neither did my father. You just have to play it by ear. I'm an adult child of divorce and I can say that it has had an effect on me and how I percieve relationships to be and to not be, good and bad.

 

[Farida]

I think it depends. Some kids watch a situation and emulate it, others completely rebel at anything remotely similar. As long as the kid has had other positive role models in life I think he should be fine.

 

[Kawaii1]

I think it concerns me because he is so different and I worry sometimes because I think if he's not like me then we will have problems but that is wron because he is so awesome and commited.

 

[dlewis]

I come from a divorced home. Dh parents were never married.

I did have the attitude (when we first were married) that if this or that didn't go my way, divorce was an option. Now I know better and I do better and feel better.