Flirting 101

[perfumenista]

My sweet youngest cousin told me she has her eye on a little boy in class and asked for some flirting tips.

How did you learn to flirt? Did you have a teacher/wise woman to guide you?

Also, since she's constantly on her phone, are there any there any youtube videos i can shoot her way about flirting?

 

[Flourishnikov]

Outside of smiling and being pleasant, she needs to focus on being the prettiest (or most polished), smartest little girl she can be. Our job is to "be", not "do". If she starts thinking she needs to "do" to get a young man's attention she will forever be doing the most.

Honestly, Id prolly tell her to focus on her studies, cuz she likely has plenty of time to worry about boys.

 

[qchelle]

Aww how cute lol. How old is she?

I learned how to flirt from WW in college lol.

After college dating opened my eyes to how BW either "flirt" terribly or simply don't. BW and WW flirt in completely different ways, ime. And for me, WW ways have been more successful. With all races of men.

To me, flirting is a way to let a man know that you're interested, without initiating any conversation. In some black communities, this is unessecary because lots of BM approach all the BW they can, regardless of her interest in him. He doesn't care if you're interested, too, he's still gonna shoot his shot. For me, I don't prefer this style of dating. I prefer flirting, then him shooting his shot.

 

[qchelle]

Outside of smiling and being pleasant, she needs to focus on being the prettiest (or most polished), smartest little girl she can be. Our job is to "be", not "do". If she starts thinking she needs to "do" to get a young man's attention she will forever be doing the most.

Honestly, Id prolly tell her to focus on her studies, cuz she likely has plenty of time to worry about boys.

Does this really work? I wouldn't know, cuz I wasn't interested in boys when i was in lower school. So nobody ever had to tell me this lol. But for those of you who were interested in boys, but your parents didn't like it, and they told you to focus on school and don't worry about boys: did this work? Did you stop liking boys?

Serious question, with no snark intended! I'm genuinely curious

 

[Flourishnikov]

Does this really work? I wouldn't know, cuz I wasn't interested in boys when i was in lower school. So nobody ever had to tell me this lol. But for those of you who were interested in boys, but your parents didn't like it, and they told you to focus on school and don't worry about boys: did this work? Did you stop liking boys?

Serious question, with no snark intended! I'm genuinely curious

Of course, I was naturally still curious and liked boys, but my parents always helped me keep my priorities straight. In hindsight, I'm grateful and will do the same with my daughter because women expend a lot of energy trying to figure out boys/men. I'd rather my child channel that energy elsewhere, but I plan on teaching her to be very feminine, a pleasure to be around and well groomed. When you are being and presenting your best self and have great, positive energy you will naturally attract male attention.

 

[Nikkiluv254]

It depends... How old is this cousin?

 

[greight]

Outside of smiling and being pleasant, she needs to focus on being the prettiest (or most polished), smartest little girl she can be. Our job is to "be", not "do". If she starts thinking she needs to "do" to get a young man's attention she will forever be doing the most.

Honestly, Id prolly tell her to focus on her studies, cuz she likely has plenty of time to worry about boys.

I would disagree with this. I think too many black women focus on studies to their detriment. It's not even focusing on boys per se but learning what's the proper way to evaluate and even entertain a man. I think flirting goes beyond just what a woman is or is not doing, but more on interactions with the opposite sex which is the next level of after attracting a man's attention.

However it depends on how old this young lady is. If she's not even a teenager, I wouldn't even go there.

 

[Flourishnikov]

I would disagree with this. I think too many black women focus on studies to their detriment. It's not even focusing on boys per se but learning what's the proper way to evaluate and even entertain a man. I think flirting goes beyond just what a woman is or is not doing, but more on interactions with the opposite sex which is the next level of after attracting a man's attention.

However it depends on how old this young lady is. If she's not even a teenager, I wouldn't even go there.

I think your post refers more to how to keep a man vs flirting which is more tailored toward getting the attention of a man. IMO, learning how to keep a man is a whole another textbook. Lol

Furthermore, the OP referred to the target as a little boy, so I naturally put more emphasis on schooling assuming her cousin is a little girl as well.

 

[LBoogie85]

I learned how to flirt from WW in college lol.

After college dating opened my eyes to how BW either "flirt" terribly or simply don't. BW and WW flirt in completely different ways, ime. And for me, WW ways have been more successful. With all races of men.

What techniques did you learn?