Fix It Jesus: What Would You Do If You Were The Bff

[lux10023]

Ogoma...i feel ya...i dont agree and understand your pov..i hear a lot of women echo this sentiment but i want to know if there is a BUT

hypothetically what if your guy/dh was messing around with someone who had an std....

would you still not want your friend to tell you anything?

i too am a fan of ignorance is bliss.. but i want to know for women what would be the IF...

I am sure no one here would agree with me , but my philosophy has always been (and my friends know this): unless I am looking for reasons to leave my marriage/relationship/etc., don't tell me anything. Don't come and cause me heartaches and hard decisions. Ignorance can be bliss.

 

[SuchaLady]

This is how married women end up with AIDS.

I am sure no one here would agree with me , but my philosophy has always been (and my friends know this): unless I am looking for reasons to leave my marriage/relationship/etc., don't tell me anything. Don't come and cause me heartaches and hard decisions. Ignorance can be bliss.

 

[CaraWalker]

well that escalated quickly.

 

[alexstin]

I would tell. I've been in a situation that wasn't the same, but the disrespect in the situation was similar. I wasn't believed, but I don't care. I cut off all contact with the person that was in the wrong.

 

[VeryBecoming]

well that escalated quickly.

Right? Can they catch the herp first? Straight to full-blown AIDS...rough life

 

[Naveah2050]

Been in a situation similar. In retrospect I wish I kept my mouth shut because I lost a good friend over it, she forgave her husband and have moved on and I am blamed for ruining wedding weekend.

I wouldn't mourn a friend like this - I think any woman that would accept this has deep issues of self esteem and has no self respect.

Without kids, before the wedding, knowing that a large amount of the people at the wedding know her husband messed with the prostitute masquerading as a stripper? There is no reason why she has to put up with this other than sheer desperation.

 

[FancyGirl]

Dang, men really have it good.

Can men be held more accountable for wrong doings? Dead at women admitting that they prefer no one to tell them and ruin their blissful marriages You should be thankful you found out your marriage is a lie and your husband is trifling. Stop looking the other way when it comes to men doing you wrong.

Back to OP, I would tell. If it makes the ends of our friendship, oh well. My conscious would be cleared. Had she cheated on him, the world would have ended. And he's definitely not done cheating on her.

I hope none of my bff are in this thread. Geeshhh.

 

[werenumber2]

Interesting how some of you seem to be alluding to the "type" of woman the bride-to-be is. Is there a special kind of woman who gets cheated on during her fiancé's bachelor party? Or a certain type of woman who gets cheated on in general?

 

[aviddiva77]

If this was a close friend I'd feel like crap if I didn't tell her. I think I would have to take the chance of losing her as friend.

This my thought process. I'm letting her know not only for her sake but for mine too. But I would let her know that I support her in whatever decision she makes. If she goes through with the wedding I'll be wearing the biggest smile as I walk down the aisle before her. And if not I'll be the3 first one with a pitch fork. And if she chooses to end the friendship that's on her.

I get why others wouldn't tell though.

 

[Priss Pot]

This is a tough one. Maybe confide in another bridesmaid for advice? If you're lucky, maybe she will tell instead of you. It's messy all around, no matter who tells her.

 

[dicapr]

Depends on the friend's personality. If she is the type of woman who believes whatever comes out of her mans mouth when she is in love then no. I have a friend who I wouldn't tell a thing. Letting her know her man was cheating would be a waste of my time. She would buy whatever excuse he was selling, walk down the isle, and feel some kind of way about me not liking her new husband. It wouldn't be worth my time or energy. Eventually cheaters get caught.

 

[january noir]

Do you know how many men have had sex at their bachelor party (intoxicated or not)?
KABILLIONS! Most people just keep it a secret including his buddies because most of the time it's expected that it will happen. I didn't say it was right, I'm just saying it happens... ALOT!
Most of the brides-to-be are none the wiser either... what's that old saying, "what you don't know, don't hurt you""

 

[FemmeFatale]

Do you know how many men have had sex at their bachelor party (intoxicated or not)? KABILLIONS! Most people just keep it a secret including his buddies because most of the time it's expected that it will happen. I didn't say it was right, I'm just saying it happens... ALOT! Most of the brides-to-be are none the wiser either... what's that old saying, "what you don't know, don't hurt you""

This is just sad. I know it's deeply ingrained in the culture but it's sad.

That ninja needs to be thinking about me at those final hours. Idgaf.

 

[january noir]

This is just sad. I know it's deeply ingrained in the culture but it's sad.

That ninja needs to be thinking about me at those final hours. Idgaf.

And most use condoms (part of party decorations and paraphernalia) so no random stripper chick/prostitute gets knocked up and come around 9 months later talking about "that's my baby's daddy!"

I'd be more disturbed if my fiancé had sex with one of my bridesmaids! That happens too... ALOT!

 

[FemmeFatale]

And most use condoms (part of party decorations and paraphernalia) so no random stripper chick/prostitute gets knocked up and come around 9 months later talking about "that's my baby's daddy!" I'd be more disturbed if my fiancé had sex with one of my bridesmaids! That happens too... ALOT!

Sorry my expectations are higher.

I asked the guy I'm seeing now and he said he wouldn't even attend the bachelor party if he found out there'd be strippers there. He's saved though, a serious Christian

 

[january noir]

Sorry my expectations are higher.

I asked the guy I'm seeing now and he said he wouldn't even attend the bachelor party if he found out there'd be strippers there. He's saved though, a serious Christian

Well, I would hope not!
I'm just talking about the general population, of all races, creeds and colors, etc.

My expectations are high too... but I have learned to never, ever say what a person won't do...

 

[pink_flower]

I only know a woman(friend of a friend type) who cheated at her party lol. White girl with some black stripper lol. Unfortunately, I wasn't there just heard about it!! I wasn't close enough with anyone to really care or snitch.

An old coworker was the best man in his bf wedding and the bride TOLD him make sure he doesn't have sex. She was okay if he received oral. SMH!

I personally don't like these types of parties for ANYONE. Coed is lame and reeks of insecurity too lol.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Well, I would hope not! I'm just talking about the general population, of all races, creeds and colors, etc. My expectations are high too... but I have learned to never, ever say what a person won't do...

Hmm Welp thank God my family is loaded with men, my brothers and cousins will be there either way so ...

 

[nysister]

I would tell and I wouldn't care if the friendship ended because if that's the case we obviously aren't on the same page as to the type of people we want in our lives.

 

[JaneBond007]

Invalid marriage. She should have been told. I'll never get all these secretive "mind my busines" folks because we are our brother's keeper and freedom is precious.

 

[Ogoma]

Ogoma...i feel ya...i dont agree and understand your pov..i hear a lot of women echo this sentiment but i want to know if there is a BUT hypothetically what if your guy/dh was messing around with someone who had an std.... would you still not want your friend to tell you anything? i too am a fan of ignorance is bliss.. but i want to know for women what would be the IF...

It is a risk, but it mine to take. If my husband is cheating, I would know. His schedule is so predictable, I can map it by the minute. I don't need anyone else rushing to tell me anything.

Can you imagine being told something like the day before your wedding? All your excitement, expectations, and hopes and plans now need to be altered. Unless I know the girl has an STD or he didn't use a condom, I would not be telling anyone anything like that.

Then there are those that love to tell stories. Not all tattletale-rs have the best intentions.

 

[barbiesocialite]

It is a risk, but it mine to take. If my husband is cheating, I would know. His schedule is so predictable, I can map it by the minute. I don't need anyone else rushing to tell me anything.

Can you imagine being told something like the day before your wedding? All your excitement, expectations, and hopes and plans now need to be altered. Unless I know the girl has an STD or he didn't use a condom, I would not be telling anyone anything like that.

Then there are those that love to tell stories. Not all tattletale-rs have the best intentions.

This is why I don't like gossip.

I'm not the kind of person that wants to know what people say or think about me behind my back. I don't like nor do I trust heresay. No, I don't care about what you think or what you know. To me it's like mind your business and I'll worry about my own business. As for everyone else, they need to stay out of it.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I wouldn't say a word. If he was just a boyfriend or fiance, probably. But the morning of the wedding, hell naw.

 

[aquajoyice]

But she was sworn to secrecy. Typically I would tell but if I promised not to tell, I'd keep it to myself.

I run by a strict girl code. I couldn't do my bestie like that. She deserves to know and make her own decisions. #bestiesbeforetesties

 

[aquajoyice]

Would anyone call off the wedding if they were the bride and found out?

I would. It's better than getting a divorce.