Fix It Jesus: What Would You Do If You Were The Bff

I don't know what I'd do outside of beating him with my bouquet a la Carrie Bradshaw..I imagine my emotions would be running crazy high..one of those rare crazy moments :look:
 
id go to an internet cafe and type up an anonymous note.

i would definitely want to know and would be devastated if my best friend didnt tell me. im surprised ppl are ok with their SO cheating during the bachelor party. ive never heard that sentiment expressed before.
 
I'd tell. Everybody knows how I feel about these things so no one would divulge this info to me and expect me to keep it from my BFF.

Also, I'd want to be told if I were the bride. I think the shock and the crowd of people would keep me from doing anything that he'd regret. But to find out later, when he has no people, no protection. :nono: I feel sorry for anyone who had to... tried to... live through that rage.
 
Oasis said:
id go to an internet cafe and type up an anonymous note.

i would definitely want to know and would be devastated if my best friend didnt tell me. im surprised ppl are ok with their SO cheating during the bachelor party. ive never heard that sentiment expressed before.
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For me it's not OK, but I don't get in-between a woman and her man.
My wise mother told me that years ago and Aunt January Noir is going to pass it on to all of you.

I've seen it happen too many times where you think telling a friend is a good idea even on moral grounds but in the end, the friend and her man get mad at you and they end up all lovey-dovey and you with no friend. TRUST!!!!!
And when the truth comes out (more than likely if he's a dog), act and be shocked along with everyone else.
 
Oasis said:
id go to an internet cafe and type up an anonymous note.

i would definitely want to know and would be devastated if my best friend didnt tell me. im surprised ppl are ok with their SO cheating during the bachelor party. ive never heard that sentiment expressed before.
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How can you be mad at something you didn't know happened? You're not supposed to know what happens at a bachelor party. My dude is uber masculine and doesn't run his mouth like a female dog, so I wouldn't have to worry about this hypothetical situation.

But to play along, I have three bffs (two females and one male) we keep it 1000% honest with each other. One would be mad if I didn't tell her and the other wouldn't. Because I know what type of person she is, I'd think real hard on it and I'd probably pressure SO to tell his friend to confess.
 
january noir said:
For me it's not OK, but I don't get in-between a woman and her man.
My wise mother told me that years ago and Aunt January Noir is going to pass it on to all of you.

I've seen it happen too many times where you think telling a friend is a good idea even on moral grounds but in the end, the friend and her man get mad at you and they end up all lovey-dovey and you with no friend. TRUST!!!!!
And when the truth comes out (more than likely if he's a dog), act and be shocked along with everyone else.
Click to expand...

i learned that there was no reasoning with women when it comes to their men twice.... once where my best friend acted suspicious and dropped some really pointed hints implying id go after her baby daddy... when he was the ugliest man on the planet. he was literally a 1 in the looks department. you think im so [whatever] that i would go after a friends man when that man looks like re-pooped prunes?

second was when my sister never wanted me to hang around the house alone with her boyfriend. *****, you are my sister. you really think i am going to ostracise myself from our SMALL family and create unspeakable drama over this loser?!?!?!?!?!

let me make it clear that i have absolutely no history of going for other peoples' man, so there is nothing rational backing up that behavior.

after those experiences, im leaving chicks and they pathetic men to themselves.
 
Oasis said:
id go to an internet cafe and type up an anonymous note.

i would definitely want to know and would be devastated if my best friend didnt tell me. im surprised ppl are ok with their SO cheating during the bachelor party. ive never heard that sentiment expressed before.
Click to expand...

I'm with you. I don't care how silent it's kept or that it's a bachelor's party. It's still cheating. Should a gotten it out of your system before you asked me to marry you
 
january noir said:
For me it's not OK, but I don't get in-between a woman and her man.
My wise mother told me that years ago and Aunt January Noir is going to pass it on to all of you.

I've seen it happen too many times where you think telling a friend is a good idea even on moral grounds but in the end, the friend and her man get mad at you and they end up all lovey-dovey and you with no friend. TRUST!!!!!
And when the truth comes out (more than likely if he's a dog), act and be shocked along with everyone else.
Click to expand...

Its so jacked up but its true. It happened to me. Just be quiet. My former (lol) friend had a lot of bark about what she 'is and aint' gonna put up with from a dude. In the end she put up with it.

If she stays your friendship will be changed FOREVER. If not immediately it will be a slow fade. Having you around will just be pesky reminder to her and her man that you tried to come between their love.

and before someone comes in here talking about well he did it and he needs to take responsibility blah blah. IT DOESN'T MATTER. do you realize people are literally chemically insane when they are "in love" not to mention the blow to the ego. aint nobody trying to hear that ish. keep it moving.
 
I wouldn't say one word. I'd keep it to myself! .. And if it were me ... I wouldn't want to know. They have their whole life to be faithful and married. Save your friendship.. Because it could end if you come in between your friend and her man.
 
OP, don't tell. Again, keep it to yourself! Bury it. Like a dog with a bone.
Pretend the BF/SO didn't even tell you :lala:. It will only cause trouble and you will be pointed at for making the trouble when the dust clears. Wedding gets canceled, bride loses deposits on reception hall and brides/bride's maids dresses, family fights break out and cheating finance will ride off into the sunset ducking under the cover of night. :lol:
 
pink_flower said:
Its so jacked up but its true. It happened to me. Just be quiet. My former (lol) friend had a lot of bark about what she 'is and aint' gonna put up with from a dude. In the end she put up with it. If she stays your friendship will be changed FOREVER. If not immediately it will be a slow fade. Having you around will just be pesky reminder to her and her man that you tried to come between their love. and before someone comes in here talking about well he did it and he needs to take responsibility blah blah. IT DOESN'T MATTER. do you realize people are literally chemically insane when they are "in love" not to mention the blow to the ego. aint nobody trying to hear that ish. keep it moving.
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I agree with all of this but I would tell for my own selfish reason - I couldn't look her in the eyes or celebrate that wedding in good faith PLUS other people know if my BF knows - I would rather she made an informed choice about marrying old boy than have her be a laughing stock and find out from someone else after the wedding when it's too late.
 
Been in a situation similar. In retrospect I wish I kept my mouth shut because I lost a good friend over it, she forgave her husband and have moved on and I am blamed for ruining wedding weekend.
 
est.April1983 said:
Been in a situation similar. In retrospect I wish I kept my mouth shut because I lost a good friend over it, she forgave her husband and have moved on and I am blamed for ruining wedding weekend.
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*whoop* there it is.....


Exactly my point. This type of bride won't believe you but you will be pegged as spreading messiness.....
 
theAlist said:
I would be really upset at my BF telling me, then swearing me to secrecy. He has put her in a very tough position. It would really weigh heavily on my conscience.
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Yup. Like wtf? This is clearly placing you as the BFF of the bride in an extremely awkward situation. I put myself in the shoes of this situation and I know my BFF, she would want me to tell her. So I'd have to tell her and be honest. And I would want her to tell me. That's the kind of friendship we have, though. If it were some other friend of mine, I think I would still try to let her know albeit maybe anonymously.

And yeah......if the groom effed the stripper wtf was my boyfriend doing at this party? I'd become suspicious myself lol.
 
dream13 said:
Sure would.
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This. Sorry, but I am not about to go through with a wedding to a man who I find out is unfaithful, I don't care how much money we've spent or how many invitations are sent out. Why would I marry him? That's basically asking to end up divorced a few years down the road. Makes no sense to me.
 
I would tell her anon. I'm torn. Yes she should know. Even if you decide not to leave at least get your self tested. But I do know that women can be funny about their SO. The truth teller could end up the bad guy even though she is trying to help her friend.
 
I didn't get the idea that they had full-on sex from that description. I assumed the stripper gave him a BJ. SN: I hate that word and acronym ugh.

Does that change anyone's opinion?

Kinda conflicted. On one hand, she probably knew there were strippers at the bachelor party and you'd be a fool to not think something might go down. Especially if it's a private party. Sorry if some of y'all feel otherwise but that's the truth. Besides he might confess on his own in a guilty or weak moment therefore my input isn't needed.

I wouldn't be mad at BF. I love a good piece of gossip so I'm happy he told me lol.

I'm learning toward keep quiet though.

Also I'd need to know what went down at the bachelorette party before I can make a decision :look:
 
Do most people not talk about hypotheticals like this with their friends? All my closest friends and I agreed that we tell each other if we find something like this out. Well, except for the friend marrying the super rich guy. She don't care :lol:
 
If this was a close friend I'd feel like crap if I didn't tell her. I think I would have to take the chance of losing her as friend.
 
I am sure no one here would agree with me :lol:, but my philosophy has always been (and my friends know this): unless I am looking for reasons to leave my marriage/relationship/etc., don't tell me anything. Don't come and cause me heartaches and hard decisions. Ignorance can be bliss.
 
Ogoma said:
I am sure no one here would agree with me :lol:, but my philosophy has always been (and my friends know this): unless I am looking for reasons to leave my marriage/relationship/etc., don't tell me anything. Don't come and cause me heartaches and hard decisions. Ignorance can be bliss.
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I agree with you and stated something similar upthread.

Chances are I already know but if I don't, don't tell me. I don't want to know. I'll find out on my own in due time.
 
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