Starian
Well-Known Member
I've been feeling a little depressed lately over this recurring dream I'm having.
When I was about 7, I met this boy at a church function. He wasn't a part of my religion, but his mother was. His grandfather was the head elder at our church and they were the richest people in the congregation. His Mom wasn't particularly strong in the faith, so as I grew up I only saw him maybe 5 or 6 times a year.
He's the first boy that ever paid attention to me despite my coke bottle glasses, despite my unfortunate childhood looks, despite my shyness. His sisters were mean to me, but that didn't deter him.
The funniest memory I have of him is chasing my parents' car down the street after church.
He had ADD and was on medication for that. He apparently had a bad temper because he was always getting in trouble at school. I didn't care. We were in love. I can honestly say I loved him even at such a young age. Puppy love, I guess.
Thing is, our families went through great lengths to keep us apart. Mainly it was an issue of them protecting my "virtue and purity as a role model in the church" and saving me from the "heathen." We talked about that a lot. What his family was saying about me. That they told him to leave me alone because they didn't want him to mess up my life.
At every church function I got in trouble or he got in trouble if we were even in the same room.
We snuck and talked on the phone, snuck and talked in a dark corner whenever he came to church. It went on like this from age 7 to age 17. Me and this boy in "puppy love".
He started going down a wierd path. Sleeping with older women and the like. I was still a virgin. When I finally did lose my virginity and I told him, he was upset and kept saying that it should have been him. (Yeah, you're sleeping with old ass women and I should have saved myself for you, though.) We even made plans to get together because we had 10 years of pent up sexual tension between us and maybe it would have been nice to work it out, but fortunately or unfortunately, it never panned out.
He moved to California when I was 18 and he was 17. I cried in private, because even though I was dating someone else, I loved him.
He came back a year and a half later with a pregnant wife.
I was irritated, but moved on with my life. His wife didn't like me. She knew
our history. We had a slightly tense interaction.
I worked at the hospital. He needed medical care. I had info about the services he wanted.
Me: So, you want me to call and give him or you the information?
Her: *in rude and snotty tone* No thanks, I'll get the information myself.
So she was obviously insecure about our past, even though she had no reason to be. She was much older than him and looked like she had a hard life. *shrug*
Then Katrina came, and I haven't heard from him since then, 2 years ago. Like I said I keep having a recurring dream where we're standing in front of the church and he keeps saying "Why couldn't it have been me?"
I was pretty much over it (I have a husband now. *shrugs*), but with this dream, the whole situation is making me pretty uneasy. I'm kind of feeling resentful against the whole church authority system that doesn't let people do whatever their heart tells them.
Anyway, tell me about who you've loved and lost.
So this diatribe won't just be about me. 
When I was about 7, I met this boy at a church function. He wasn't a part of my religion, but his mother was. His grandfather was the head elder at our church and they were the richest people in the congregation. His Mom wasn't particularly strong in the faith, so as I grew up I only saw him maybe 5 or 6 times a year.
He's the first boy that ever paid attention to me despite my coke bottle glasses, despite my unfortunate childhood looks, despite my shyness. His sisters were mean to me, but that didn't deter him.
The funniest memory I have of him is chasing my parents' car down the street after church.
He had ADD and was on medication for that. He apparently had a bad temper because he was always getting in trouble at school. I didn't care. We were in love. I can honestly say I loved him even at such a young age. Puppy love, I guess.
Thing is, our families went through great lengths to keep us apart. Mainly it was an issue of them protecting my "virtue and purity as a role model in the church" and saving me from the "heathen." We talked about that a lot. What his family was saying about me. That they told him to leave me alone because they didn't want him to mess up my life.
At every church function I got in trouble or he got in trouble if we were even in the same room.
We snuck and talked on the phone, snuck and talked in a dark corner whenever he came to church. It went on like this from age 7 to age 17. Me and this boy in "puppy love".
He started going down a wierd path. Sleeping with older women and the like. I was still a virgin. When I finally did lose my virginity and I told him, he was upset and kept saying that it should have been him. (Yeah, you're sleeping with old ass women and I should have saved myself for you, though.
) We even made plans to get together because we had 10 years of pent up sexual tension between us and maybe it would have been nice to work it out, but fortunately or unfortunately, it never panned out.He moved to California when I was 18 and he was 17. I cried in private, because even though I was dating someone else, I loved him.
He came back a year and a half later with a pregnant wife.
I was irritated, but moved on with my life. His wife didn't like me. She knew
our history. We had a slightly tense interaction.
I worked at the hospital. He needed medical care. I had info about the services he wanted.
Me: So, you want me to call and give him or you the information?
Her: *in rude and snotty tone* No thanks, I'll get the information myself.
So she was obviously insecure about our past, even though she had no reason to be. She was much older than him and looked like she had a hard life. *shrug*
Then Katrina came, and I haven't heard from him since then, 2 years ago. Like I said I keep having a recurring dream where we're standing in front of the church and he keeps saying "Why couldn't it have been me?"
I was pretty much over it (I have a husband now. *shrugs*), but with this dream, the whole situation is making me pretty uneasy. I'm kind of feeling resentful against the whole church authority system that doesn't let people do whatever their heart tells them.
Anyway, tell me about who you've loved and lost.
So this diatribe won't just be about me. 
