My 4b hair is fine, too.
I disliked conditioner washes from the start because of tangles and hair loss. I HATE those tangles I get near the crown starting 4 weeks post relaxer!
Since August, I've gauged the amount of hair I'm losing during conditioner washes (whether to shedding or breakage from tangles during the combout) by taping it into my hair journal and writing how I manipulated my hair that day.
In this way, I noticed that frequent conditioner washes were costing me too much hair, so I cut back to once per week.
I'm also taking more time to detangle the ringlets with my fingers while looking in the mirror instead of hurridly combing out tangles by feel in the shower. Then, when I comb my hair in the shower after having detangled it in front of the mirror with my fingers, there are fewer tangles because I've removed the shed hair.
For further details, check out my earlier post on the thread about "QUESTION FOR 4A/4B SHOULDER or BRA STRAPPED HAIR."
Some of my 3a/b friends with coarse hair can just hop out of the shower, put serum on their damp hair, and comb through it with the blowdryer's comb attachment and low heat. Not me.
I hope you find something that works for you.