Female Friendships

L

luthiengirlie

Well-Known Member
I want Godly female friendships... I'm fustrated... because I am really trying to be friends with other women of God and initiate friendships. But i feel like I"m :wallbash:. Usually what happens is, I initiate it, maybe even plan an outing with the person and then they stand me up harder than men do! I feel like a lot of times I'm trying to be friends with a person especially that are in the Lord I'm always hearing" Men this Men that, Men in purple pants, men in greenp ants, why are they so horrible, why do they do this, men are awful" it's like it's all MEN MEN MEN! Don't get me wrong, I like to talk about guys too but it's not my entire REALITY! I don't know. I often feel like as well as long as you talk about THEM and their MEN problems they wanna hear what you have to say... but the MINUTE I try to talk about myself or something else or ask for encouragement. They wanna shut down and NOT hear what i have to say.
I am really frustrated
and I'm really sad.
I have plenty of male friends and I THANK GOD FOR THEM! but I often wonder if I'm not truly meant to be friends with women... cause every relationship i have with a woman outside of my family is very superficial and I would love to have a female best friend. I didn't realize how much this bothered me and I feel like crying now.... I done depressed myself.
Any Suggestions? anything?
 
I understand where you are coming from girlie, but you are by no means sentenced to a life time of male only companions, don't believe that for a second. God knows that this matter is on your heart, and it's completely in line with God's will for his children!

"As iron sharpens iron, so a (wo)man sharpens the countenance of his (her) friend. Proverbs 27: 17(NKJV)

Trust that he will provide meaningful long lasting relationships will help nurture your faith and bring joy to your life. You will find friends of substance, who value your thoughts and opinions! As I become more mature and distant from more worldly friends, I look to the Lord for quality female friendships as well, so pray for me as I pray for you. Be encouraged :)
 
i truly understand what you are saying, i'am in the same situation you are.
but i continue pray for the good friends that God what me to have. know that he wants the best for you and that you shall have the desires of your heart.
 
CreativeOne said:
i truly understand what you are saying, i'am in the same situation you are.
but i continue pray for the good friends that God what me to have. know that he wants the best for you and that you shall have the desires of your heart.[/QUOTE]


I notice that When I desire the things that God desires. He really brings those things forth! SO I am believing.
Click to expand...
 
My suggestion is don't try. Seriously, if you are like me you are female of a different caliber. You will soon realize that you can easily create friendships better when you don't try. Have people ask you out or just by joining simple groups or activities you will make friends with the most interesting people. I know its hard to find good Godly females to hang with. I would suggest church but I am skeptical about some church women...gossiping is a problem. Anywho, like you said God will bring those forth. Good Luck!
 
luthiengirlie said:
I want Godly female friendships... I'm fustrated... because I am really trying to be friends with other women of God and initiate friendships. But i feel like I"m :wallbash:. Usually what happens is, I initiate it, maybe even plan an outing with the person and then they stand me up harder than men do! I feel like a lot of times I'm trying to be friends with a person especially that are in the Lord I'm always hearing" Men this Men that, Men in purple pants, men in greenp ants, why are they so horrible, why do they do this, men are awful" it's like it's all MEN MEN MEN! Don't get me wrong, I like to talk about guys too but it's not my entire REALITY! I don't know. I often feel like as well as long as you talk about THEM and their MEN problems they wanna hear what you have to say... but the MINUTE I try to talk about myself or something else or ask for encouragement. They wanna shut down and NOT hear what i have to say.
I am really frustrated
and I'm really sad.
I have plenty of male friends and I THANK GOD FOR THEM! but I often wonder if I'm not truly meant to be friends with women... cause every relationship i have with a woman outside of my family is very superficial and I would love to have a female best friend. I didn't realize how much this bothered me and I feel like crying now.... I done depressed myself.
Any Suggestions? anything?
Click to expand...


I'm sorry love. I really don't know what to tell you. I know my friend (well former) is having this problem and he is a male....and the problem is making friends with other males lol
 
I had this problem. MOved to a state with no friends, got married and still had no women friends. It was a very lonely place for me. But I prayed and asked God to send me a friend...and he did. Just pray and allow God to place someone in your life!
 
truly Thank You everyone. The biggest thing about this is that I realize I truly am NOT alone in struggling with this:yep::grin:. I think that is what helps most :).

I will pray for the people who's been praying for me because honestly isn't that what the Word said we should do?
 
I understand where you're coming from. Like one poster suggested- you should pray about this. I did and He came through- me and my friend are soo different sometimes I wonder how we even came to be friends! But I know God brought us together and I thank Him all the time for doing so :yep:
 
OP you are definitely not alone. I have prayed about this issue in my own life. Sometimes, we are called to walk this journey alone... for a season... to truly bring to light how we must hold on to God. Then it's like... OK CAN THIS SEASON PASS?! Ugh!

If you are truly the remnant, you will have to go it alone sometimes. It disappoints me how some church folk are truly not holy and not walking with the Lord. But, it is what it is...

Be encouraged! Keep praying on it. God will give you what to desire and bring your desires right to you. He places the solitary in famillies (Psalm 68:6). Speak that word over your stuation. :)
 
luthiengirlie said:
but the MINUTE I try to talk about myself or something else or ask for encouragement. They wanna shut down and NOT hear what i have to say.
I am really frustrated
and I'm really sad.
I have plenty of male friends and I THANK GOD FOR THEM! but I often wonder if I'm not truly meant to be friends with women... cause every relationship i have with a woman outside of my family is very superficial
Click to expand...

Keep being positive and you will attract positive people. Who knows, you positivity might have affected the women who only talk about their men problems already. You sound like a good listener and someone trustworthy. That's probably why you have gotten so many of those unhappy people. Don't give up.
 
:) I am willing to be your friend too if you want to email -NinasLongAmbition. And softblackcotton. That would be a blessing to me. I pray I will be a blessing to you two


-CreoleNat that is some SERIOUS food for some SERIOUS thought
 
Sis, I suspect the Lord has more than heard your prayers and is working out the blessing of that friend(s) right now. He may also be sending you these people with all these diverse issues to see how you respond and witness to them. Our walk with Christ not only affects our lives but it can truly affect those looking on. Continued blessings.
 
CoilyFields said:
I had this problem. MOved to a state with no friends, got married and still had no women friends. It was a very lonely place for me. But I prayed and asked God to send me a friend...and he did. Just pray and allow God to place someone in your life!
Click to expand...
:yep: That's pretty much how it happened for me too. I think it was maybe around 2 years before I met my friend but it did happen. We used to work together and don't see each other as often now but we understand the importance of balance in the relationship.
 
Prudent1 said:
:yep: That's pretty much how it happened for me too. I think it was maybe around 2 years before I met my friend but it did happen. We used to work together and don't see each other as often now but we understand the importance of balance in the relationship.
Click to expand...


I agree. but I am also beginning to wonder if God is calling me to at time of solitude and learning more and Obeying HIm
 
I have this issue, too. I feel used at times when I try to make friends to the point I feel drained. I do realize that I am attracting certain spirits towards me. I think I am a
"care-giver" by nature and therefore attract souls that need nurturing.
 
I definitely agree. I've had hard a time finding women of godly character that I can be friends with. It is also hard just making friends when your adult. It is different when your in school. Some of my female friends are like associates because I can't talk about certain things like my faith and beliefs. If I have a problem or issue, sometimes all they speak is doubt and unbelief. Just keep confessing that you are surrounded by women and men of godly character. I started last summer and I happened to run into a old female college friend. We are both believers and it helps to talk to someone who will encourage me. Stay in faith.
 
Nicole you are right. I have found myself just trying to make new friends again or trying to gain stronger connections with the old ones. Not really working, but I know God has a plan for the people he puts in my life so I'm not worried. If they come or go I will still have Him to keep me encouraged.
 
luthiengirlie said:
I want Godly female friendships... I'm fustrated... because I am really trying to be friends with other women of God and initiate friendships. But i feel like I"m . Usually what happens is, I initiate it, maybe even plan an outing with the person and then they stand me up harder than men do! I feel like a lot of times I'm trying to be friends with a person especially that are in the Lord I'm always hearing" Men this Men that, Men in purple pants, men in greenp ants, why are they so horrible, why do they do this, men are awful" it's like it's all MEN MEN MEN! Don't get me wrong, I like to talk about guys too but it's not my entire REALITY! I don't know. I often feel like as well as long as you talk about THEM and their MEN problems they wanna hear what you have to say... but the MINUTE I try to talk about myself or something else or ask for encouragement. They wanna shut down and NOT hear what i have to say.

I am really frustrated

and I'm really sad.

I have plenty of male friends and I THANK GOD FOR THEM! but I often wonder if I'm not truly meant to be friends with women... cause every relationship i have with a woman outside of my family is very superficial and I would love to have a female best friend. I didn't realize how much this bothered me and I feel like crying now.... I done depressed myself.

Any Suggestions? anything?
Click to expand...


I don't know. It doesn't sound like you really care to have any female friends. It sounds like another one of those posts saying "I have a lot of male friends!" , "Men are better to be friends with than women!", "Most women aren't good to be friends with!" , etc.

If you're trying to make female friends, what was the purpose of even stating, "I have plenty of male friends and I THANK GOD FOR THEM!"? Just because you have plenty of male friends doesn't mean all those male friendships are godly, authentic, genuine, and nonsuperficial. If I'm wrong, then what makes all these male friendships so meaningful to you? Are they Godly male friendships? If so, how? Maybe take some suggestions from those male friendships and apply it to female friendships. I just don't see why you are bashing other women when they don't want to be friends with you the way you want them to. Maybe you're not being patient enough with the women you initiate friendships with.

And can you please explain what you mean by wanting GODLY female friendships? What does that entail in your mind?
 
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Poohbear said:
I don't know. It doesn't sound like you really care to have any female friends. It sounds like another one of those posts saying "I have a lot of male friends!" , "Men are better to be friends with than women!", "Most women aren't good to be friends with!" , etc.

If you're trying to make female friends, what was the purpose of even stating, "I have plenty of male friends and I THANK GOD FOR THEM!"? Just because you have plenty of male friends doesn't mean all those male friendships are godly, authentic, genuine, and nonsuperficial. If I'm wrong, then what makes all these male friendships so meaningful to you? Are they Godly male friendships? If so, how? Maybe take some suggestions from those male friendships and apply it to female friendships. I just don't see why you are bashing other women when they don't want to be friends with you the way you want them to. Maybe you're not being patient enough with the women you initiate friendships with.

And can you please explain what you mean by wanting GODLY female friendships? What does that entail in your mind?
Click to expand...


I apologize if I came across as ooo I don't wanna be friends with women. It wasn't my intention. I didn't want to sound ungrateful for the friends that I do have.
I wasn't trying to bash women. I'm just stating my reality. It is possible that I'm not being paitent. I would like to be friends with women more in general, but I feel like I'm being stood up or they dont talk about things that encourage growth in one another. I try being a friend. Maybe I'm feeling fustrated that I feel like I don't have a female friend to grow into the Lord with and hang out with and understand I love God and doesn't look at me sideways that I choose not to have sex before marriage. Again I apologize if I came across as woman bashing. Certainly was not my intention.
 
Thanks luthiengirlie but are your male friendships godly? If so, what makes your male friendships godly?
 
Poohbear said:
Thanks luthiengirlie but are your male friendships godly? If so, what makes your male friendships godly?
Click to expand...


I believe my male friendships are godly. When I was growing up my father wasn't here. I've been in abusive friendships/relationships with other men/boys. I've been molested and I've been hit. I didn't know how I should be treated. I didn't understand I had worth in the eyes of God. These men came into my life and treated me with respect demanded nothing but respect. Treated me with love and kindness and without manipulation. I've never had that in my life until recently. So. I am grateful for these male friends and it brings tears into my eyes.
 
Poohbear said:
I don't know. It doesn't sound like you really care to have any female friends. It sounds like another one of those posts saying "I have a lot of male friends!" , "Men are better to be friends with than women!", "Most women aren't good to be friends with!" , etc.

If you're trying to make female friends, what was the purpose of even stating, "I have plenty of male friends and I THANK GOD FOR THEM!"? Just because you have plenty of male friends doesn't mean all those male friendships are godly, authentic, genuine, and nonsuperficial. If I'm wrong, then what makes all these male friendships so meaningful to you? Are they Godly male friendships? If so, how? Maybe take some suggestions from those male friendships and apply it to female friendships. I just don't see why you are bashing other women when they don't want to be friends with you the way you want them to. Maybe you're not being patient enough with the women you initiate friendships with.

And can you please explain what you mean by wanting GODLY female friendships? What does that entail in your mind?
Click to expand...


ahhh :perplexed you taught me today that sometimes i have to look at my language and it may come across in a way where it may not b ewhat i intend so you you taught me to look closely and see how people may perceive it even though it may not be m my intention.
 
Awe I love how we all come here to learn not only about our hair but ourselves, emotionally, spiritually, and lovingly. We are at least internet friends. You guys can always contact me on aim, yahoo and gmail :) lol But I hope to hang with nice godly females like you in my area.
 
luthiengirlie said:
ahhh :perplexed you taught me today that sometimes i have to look at my language and it may come across in a way where it may not b ewhat i intend so you you taught me to look closely and see how people may perceive it even though it may not be m my intention.
Click to expand...
Yeah, but another thing too is this... let's say you meet a women who after getting to know her better you find out she has sex outside of marriage, and that's something you do not do. Don't immediately discount her as a friend just because she is participating in an ungodly activity. Plus, you must realize that even though you may not be doing that particular sin, you just may very well be doing something else against God too.

I'll share this with you. I really have only 2 women that I can say are my close best friends. Other women I may know are more like acquaintances. One of them I have been friends with for over 10 years. We met in high school on the track team. As we got older, we started hanging out, talking on the phone, shopping, taking trips, and sharing personal information and stories with each other. Right now, she is involved with a married man. Deep down inside, I feel disgusted of this and never thought something like this would happen. I don't condone her activity, but I'm just very calm when expressing my views on what she should do with this married man. She knows she is wrong and has even stated it to me, but she feels like she lacks a conscience right now and is really enjoying herself. I've told her that I think it's best for her to leave the man alone, but she claims to have no feelings wrapped up into this man (but I think she does). So I as a friend, I just listen and continue to respect her and be patient with her. Plus, I look at myself and know I may not be abiding by every single command of God as well. And only God can do the changing and delivering someone from sin.

And I also try to be like Jesus... he hung out and even ate and drank with the winebibbers, prostitutes, and tax collectors... but he did not participate in their activities. He just was there being an example and showing them how to live right. We must try to do the same when it comes to interacting with other people.

Hope that helps too.
 
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