Feeling that you would not be compatible in THAT way

[FtrDrO]

Have you ever felt that you wouldn't be sexually compatible with someone despite never being with them in a romantic way?

I don't know what it is, but I've gone on a few dates with a couple of men and although we never kissed or did anything at all, I can't completely describe it but, I lack a certain vibe from them that makes me believe that we wouldn't be sexually compatible. It's crazy because you can't predict that of course. But there's just something about them that gives this off and usually makes them less appealing to me.

Am I the only one who experiences this?

 

[tinkat]

Yes I know what you mean and its just using your intuition that says no! No regrets either.

 

[FtrDrO]

tinkat I guess you're right. Glad to know that I'm not the only one who experiences this.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Add me to the list. I'm going through this right now with a guy I'm dating.erplexed

 

[tibb1908]

Yes, I've felt this way many times while dating. I believe it's called chemistry and sometimes we just don't have that connection/attraction with everyone we date.

 

[faithVA]

I understand completely what you mean. And from my personal experience no matter how long we were together it never changed. It just isn't there. Couldn't make it happen.

 

[FtrDrO]

Add me to the list. I'm going through this right now with a guy I'm dating.erplexed

ScorpioBeauty09 Are you going to keep dating him? I kind of hate the feeling because some of these guys are nice but I just can't imagine anything happening in that department...ever.

Yes, I've felt this way many times while dating. I believe it's called chemistry and sometimes we just don't have that connection/attraction with everyone we date.

tibb1908 I think you're right. I guess it is just chemistry. Because for me it's really not about sex per se. I just can't imagine being intimate at all: cuddling, holding hands, kissing; nothing.

I understand completely what you mean. And from my personal experience no matter how long we were together it never changed. It just isn't there. Couldn't make it happen.

faithVA Yeah...that's what I'm afraid of. Some of these men have been great people but it's just not there no matter how much I try to convince myself.

 

[C@ssandr@]

I understand completely what you mean. And from my personal experience no matter how long we were together it never changed. It just isn't there. Couldn't make it happen.

how long were you in these relationships before you gave up? I was having a discussion with someone who asked me if chemistry can be "developed."

 

[deltadreamland]

I agree with everyone in this thread so far. I'm dealing with this with one of the guys that is interested in me. He says the right things, does the right things, but I have ZERO desire to kiss him, touch him, cuddle him..any of that. And I'm a very touchy feely and sexual person (meaning I love sex when in a relationship), yet I have NO desire at all to even touch him at all. But, he's a nice guy...idk.

 

[babyu21]

I usually can't really tell until I at least kiss him. A good kiss can be a game changer. I have certain physical deal breakers that are necessary for any attraction but I can pin point those before we go out on a single date.

I will at least give a guy a good hug and kiss before I come to my final decision.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

@ScorpioBeauty09 Are you going to keep dating him? I kind of hate the feeling because some of these guys are nice but I just can't imagine anything happening in that department...ever.

@FtrDrO Not for long. He's on a business trip, when he comes back I may go out with him again to give him one more chance. We have some personality differences that also make me think we're not compatible. The thing is compared to the other guys I'm dating he's the most mature and is taking the time to court me. I just can't see us cuddling on a couch watching movies, holding hands, kissing and definitely not coloring.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I think for me, I kind of know pretty quickly whether or not I will ever see a guy in "THAT" way.

It may not be the first, second, or third date....but I usually know pretty early on. He doesn't have to be a GQ model, but if I don't feel ANY attraction to him whatsoever, then usually I don't even want the relationship to progress any further. For me what's the point? It's usually a HUGE waste of time.

If I don't feel like I could want to kiss the guy eventually, or that I just LOVE spending time with him and want to know more about him on a DEEPER level, then I'm sorry....I'm not that interested.

I'm TRYING to get better at this though and I'm trying to give more "nice guys" some good chances because there really are some great guys out here. But, I have to feel SOME attraction on SOME level. #imjustsaying

 

[ThickHair]

Add me to the list. I'm going through this right now with a guy I'm dating.erplexed

Why are you still dating him? That makes so sense. Are you afraid to be alone? You keeping him is really blocking your blessings for "The One".

 

[mspm]

I say . . . ignore this 'feeling'. Don't judge a book by its cover. I've had some of the best sex with guys I didn't feel 'chemistry' with. Weird but true . . .

Have you ever felt that you wouldn't be sexually compatible with someone despite never being with them in a romantic way?

I don't know what it is, but I've gone on a few dates with a couple of men and although we never kissed or did anything at all, I can't completely describe it but, I lack a certain vibe from them that makes me believe that we wouldn't be sexually compatible. It's crazy because you can't predict that of course. But there's just something about them that gives this off and usually makes them less appealing to me.

Am I the only one who experiences this?