Fall into FABULOUS!

[CurliDiva]

Hi single ladies,

If you are like me, you may tend to slow down “socially” as the weather gets colder and the days get darker!

I had a great, SOCIAL summer, and I was brainstorming of how I could keep my social ‘mojo’ high even in the winter months……… when all I want to do to crawl into my toasty bed and watch TV!

Here is my plan for the month of October, I intend to GO OUT every Friday and Saturday! NO EXCUSES!

I checked the calendar and wrote down the dates- let’s see what a difference 10 little days in October can make:

FRIDAYS / SATURDAYS
October 2 / October 3
October 9 / October 10
October 16 / October 17
October 23 / October 24
October 30 / October 31

So, this is what I’m planning, but please feel free to offer any positive suggestions.

I intend to GO OUT every Friday and Saturday in a social environment that offers the opportunity to mingle.

wallbash: Sitting in a dark movie theater or in public with headphones on or with the same girlfriend listening to them b**ch about men DO NOT count!)

Try to pick environments or events where I can “mingle” (at least smile and say hi to) the opposite sex!

Try to look and feel fabulous (.....remember those IT GIRL threads) during these social events!

And most importantly, HAVE FUN!

If others would like to join me, then we can start a challenge. If not, you’ll just get to read about the fabulous time that I intend to have!

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

This sounds like fun! I will watch what you're doing because I am on CPA lockdown until the end of November. But if you're still rolling in December I will be ready to join in!

 

[CurliDiva]

Possible resistance (I’ll come back later to discuss how I plan to persnally counter each of these):

I’m too tired from my work week to go out!
Now, this used to be my wintertime motto – I’m just plain tired from working all week. Friday nights are my chance to rest.

I’m too busy with errands!
After grocery shopping, cleaning the house, running errands, who feels like bothering getting dressed and leaving the house on a Saturday?

It's not safe going out late at night!
It is just not safe hanging out at night especially in bars or clubs; I don't trust anything said a club after midnight!

I don’t have the extra money!
The economy is still weak; I have bills to pay; or just no extra cash for running around town like those chicks on "sex and the city".

I don’t have anyone to go out with!
My friends are busy or just plain lame; and I would feel funny going someplace without my girls for company.

 

[Jazala]

This sounds like a great idea. This past year I have been trying to get out more for social reasons and for exercise! I was gaining too much weight being a homebody and sitting at the computer for hours every day.

I have a girlfriend that likes to go out on Saturday nights and we have been making rounds to different places. Also, I was thinking of joining a skate club I discovered that meets Sunday mornings for exercise and socializing.

Fridays are kinda hard to do because I'm tired after the work week but I could probably hang if I went straight from work to happy hour or something lol.

 

[angelica2u]

U're absolutely on point with this thread, Curli! I already started pushing all my plans to next summer. And I have the same kind of resistances, but the biggest one for me is the last one (I don’t have anyone to go out with!). That one overrides all the other resistances and thats why I even started the Single Ladies meet up thread on this forum because i find that having a "support system" encourages you to follow through on socializing instead of making excuses to yourself about why u shdnt go out.

 

[CurliDiva]

This sounds like fun! I will watch what you're doing because I am on CPA lockdown until the end of November. But if you're still rolling in December I will be ready to join in!

I do plan to extend this month-to-month to get me (and others) thru the winter – so see you in December!

This may not be an issue for ladies in “warm-all-year-around” climates, BUT I definitely know that I slow down when the weather is colder and it gets darker earlier!

I’m not talking about partying in the middle of a blizzard, but I refuse to become a couch potato this fall/winter!

 

[CurliDiva]

This sounds like a great idea. This past year I have been trying to get out more for social reasons and for exercise! I was gaining too much weight being a homebody and sitting at the computer for hours every day.

I have a girlfriend that likes to go out on Saturday nights and we have been making rounds to different places. Also, I was thinking of joining a skate club I discovered that meets Sunday mornings for exercise and socializing.

Fridays are kinda hard to do because I'm tired after the work week but I could probably hang if I went straight from work to happy hour or something lol.

Your plans sound GREAT!

Because of my long work commute, Fridays are also most challenging for me too.

I like your idea of just "staying out" (for happy hour etc.) versus going home and then motivating myself to leave my home again.

I plan to go to bed EARLY the night before....also, Happy Hours especially if they offer music or food/drink specials are a low cost option.

 

[CurliDiva]

U're absolutely on point with this thread, Curli! I already started pushing all my plans to next summer. And I have the same kind of resistances, but the biggest one for me is the last one (I don’t have anyone to go out with!). That one overrides all the other resistances and thats why I even started the Single Ladies meet up thread on this forum because i find that having a "support system" encourages you to follow through on socializing instead of making excuses to yourself about why u shdnt go out.

Hi Angelica2u - good luck with your "Single Ladies" group!

I don't let my friends hold me back anymore! There were just too many excuses………or some just wanted to get together for an "I-don't-have-a-man" pity party - which is so not MY ENERGY.

Even if I’m out with a friend, my aim is to MINGLE (smile, talk or share with others) and enjoy the venue or event. Just make sure you go out with people who want to have fun too!

 

[CurliDiva]

Now, all of these may not apply to your situation, but here are my suggestions to avoid (or counteract) each RESISTANCE and GET OUT there!


I’m too tired from my work week to go out!
I commute over 15 -20 hours per week so this is my TOP EXCUSE for not going out on Friday nights – I’m just plain tired!

Go to bed early Wednesdays and Thursdays nights – being rest broken saps my energy and increases the chance of me looking strained.

My Friday night events don’t have to be late or all-night affairs. There are plenty early evening happy hours and other events (lasting only 2-3 hours) that would get my back home before the 11 o’clock news.


I’m too busy with errands!
After grocery shopping, cleaning the house, running errands, who feels like bothering getting dressed and leaving the house on a Saturday night?

Ok, a single gal has to do laundry at some point, but everything doesn’t have to happen on Saturday mornings does it?

Maybe I go the grocery store after work or do a load of laundry during the week instead.

I started cleaning my house and doing as many during the week months ago. It just more relaxing to have your weekends as free as possible!


It's not safe going out late at night!
It is just not safe hanging out at night especially in bars or clubs; I don’t trust anything said a club after midnight!

Ok, it not written in stone that you have to go to a bar or club to have fun. In fact, I haven’t been to a club in years. There are so many other events and activities that you have attended that happen before midnight.

But unlike Cinderella, if you do want to go to a late-night bars or clubs just be aware of your surroundings.


I don’t have the extra money!
The economy is still weak; I have bills to pay; or just no extra cash for running around town like those chicks on "sex and the city".

Ok, set an entertainment budget for yourself and then have trying to spend less! There are all kinds of money-saving specials out there – these revenues want your business. Check their websites to find out about 2-for-1 happy hours, ladies nights or free (or reduced) admission prices.

Most local newspapers will have an entertainment section that will highlight what’s going on around town for the upcoming weekend – make it a habit of checking it out by Thursday. Many of these events are FREE!

Lastly, you don't need to buy a NEW outfit everytime you go out! These people have probably never seen your clothes before, so work what you already have in your closet to look and feel fabulous!



I don’t have anyone to go out with!
My friends are busy or just plain lame; and I would feel funny going someplace without my girls for company.

This can be a tricky one! What are you supposed to do if you want to go out and none of your friends can or want to go…….I know this can be scary to do but GO anyway!

Also, maybe it is time to re-evaluate some friendships. I let go of some “stale” friendships where we not later had much in common or even the same interests. It was hard, but I opened space up for deeper friendships with others.

Lastly, learn to enjoy your own company!

 

[natural in ATL]

This is a great idea. I would venture to say this is also a good plan for those who are in relationships because even as a couple you can get lazy and start hibernating in the winter. Then you look up in January and wonder how you both gained 25 lbs!

I love your solutions for the possible obstacles. I would also suggest joining some business/social/volunteer groups as I've met a lot of my good friends from those interactions. National Black MBA does a lot of events that are low/no cost, etc. Just a thought!

Good luck to everyone...I'm working and in school at night so it'll be tough for me to stay active since I'm in study mode most of the time I'm home, but I'm going to try and get out more often! At least once a week for me!

 

[Jazala]

Thanks Curli, those are some wonderful suggestions.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

This sounds like a great idea! Thanks Curli!

 

[DarkHair]

Curli this is a great thread. While I'm married, I still like to go out and do things either with the hubby, friends, or alone. This season we have fall events, the fair, and other affairs. I personally LOVE this time of year. I can wear boots, fitted pants and jackets, scarves, hats, and can play with darker and fall makeup colors.

ETA: Also the Halloween and Christmas parties <3!

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

Okay even though I haven't been able to fully participate I will post an update -
I am really just trying to have fun and expand my circle since most of my girls moved away or have babies

Saturday night went to a Tapas place with a new girl I met and had drinks - she is very cool and seems like she will be a good person to hang with.

Sunday - Attended a Rams game with same girl, she had a ticket hookup met her cousin and friend.

Tonight I am attending a young black professionals networking event.

Thursday night I am attending a forum on -isms in the workplace

Saturday night - HBCU alum game night

 

[natural in ATL]

Okay even though I haven't been able to fully participate I will post an update -
I am really just trying to have fun and expand my circle since most of my girls moved away or have babies

Saturday night went to a Tapas place with a new girl I met and had drinks - she is very cool and seems like she will be a good person to hang with.

Sunday - Attended a Rams game with same girl, she had a ticket hookup met her cousin and friend.

Tonight I am attending a young black professionals networking event.

Thursday night I am attending a forum on -isms in the workplace

Saturday night - HBCU alum game night

Go ahead girl, you are doing it!! You just motivated me to get on it! I love all the things you're doing. You're taking some risks (going out with new people, etc.) and having fun in the process.

 

[CurliDiva]

Curli this is a great thread. While I'm married, I still like to go out and do things either with the hubby, friends, or alone. This season we have fall events, the fair, and other affairs. I personally LOVE this time of year. I can wear boots, fitted pants and jackets, scarves, hats, and can play with darker and fall makeup colors.

ETA: Also the Halloween and Christmas parties <3!

I just had dinner last night with one of my married friends who really works at keeping her friendships going even with "single" girl-pals and her husband has no problem with this!

 

[CurliDiva]

Okay even though I haven't been able to fully participate I will post an update -
I am really just trying to have fun and expand my circle since most of my girls moved away or have babies

Saturday night went to a Tapas place with a new girl I met and had drinks - she is very cool and seems like she will be a good person to hang with.

Sunday - Attended a Rams game with same girl, she had a ticket hookup met her cousin and friend.

Tonight I am attending a young black professionals networking event.

Thursday night I am attending a forum on -isms in the workplace

Saturday night - HBCU alum game night

Wow, you rock!

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

Update--

The professional networking event I went to was jackpot! Ladies I met so many cool people there. And connected with a few ladies who invited me out to a spa day on Saturday and were really nice. I definitely recommend attending these kinds of events, it is a goldmine for creating relationships!

And also the girl who I went out with this weekend invited me to an India Arie concert tonight! She works in marketing so i think she gets tickets to a lot of events.

And on Thursday night there is a multi-cultural mixer I may attend for United Way (this guy I met at the networking event invited me to that).

Ya'll I went from having nothing to do, to having too much to do!

 

[Jazala]

Update--

The professional networking event I went to was jackpot! Ladies I met so many cool people there. And connected with a few ladies who invited me out to a spa day on Saturday and were really nice. I definitely recommend attending these kinds of events, it is a goldmine for creating relationships!

And also the girl who I went out with this weekend invited me to an India Arie concert tonight! She works in marketing so i think she gets tickets to a lot of events.

And on Thursday night there is a multi-cultural mixer I may attend for United Way (this guy I met at the networking event invited me to that).

Ya'll I went from having nothing to do, to having too much to do!

Wow nice! You're off to a great start!

 

[DarkHair]

This thursday I want to do something
Friday night I plan to go to First Friday
Saturday is family pics and DH and I are going OOT for a bike club party
Sunday, who knows.

In October I'd like to go a wine tasting.

 

[DaPPeR]

I am in!!!Good thread OP!

 

[panamoni]

Great thread OP. This sounds like a great idea. I've been working on doing at least one social thing per week, but I'm in on the challenge.

ETA: What type of events are you going to alone vs. with friends?

 

[CurliDiva]

ETA: What type of events are you going to alone vs. with friends?[/QUOTE]

This may be a tricky question for me - when I go out with friends I mingle less because most of my friends are not going to talk to others, so I plan to attend several events by myself. Here are my planned Oct events, so far:


Happy Hours
Sushi Restaurant
Halloween themed House Party
Comedy Show
Movies
Brunch
Wine Tasting
Poetry / Spoken Word
Theater

I have (2) free tickets for the play Black Pearl Sings at the Ford Theater for next Tuesday and haven’t decided who to take yet.


I know this may be a big NO-NO for many women, but I comfortable going out by myself and I always have a blast.

 

[Jazala]

Girl I will go out by myself in a heartbeat if none of my friends want to go. I always end up meeting new people and having a good time!

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

Okay ladies what's up with your weekend plans? Everybody should do at least one thing this weekend!

Saturday - I am attending an HBCU game night, which is also a scholarship fund raiser. I met this guy the other night who put me in touch with the girl hosting the event so she is going to introduce me to everyone.

I have to study this weekend so that's all I am going to do. What about you ladies?

Also I goal I have set for myself, especially at these social mixers and networking events is to leave with at least 3 business cards from people who seem interesting. And I make sure to shoot them an e-mail within a day or two letting them know I am open to hearing about different types of events around the city. HTH someone!!

 

[DaPPeR]

Ok...so Im going to the club tommorrow. I go to at least two new ones a week(dont judge me )..which I have been doing for the past two months. I need to get out more and more. I need to celebrate my youth while I can!

 

[CurliDiva]

I’m off to a great start!

Wednesday, I took a friend out to dinner for her B-Day at a very swanky restaurant (I won a gift certificate, so thought I would put it to good use). I looked good (had the IT GIRL factor working) and had a great time!

Thursday (last night), I went out for drinks and dinner with a new Meet-up group I joined. I got there early, so I had the chance to have a great conversation with a hottie named Dan who also arrived early. I had fun meeting and talking (about 10) everyone, but there were two guys with “potential”. Dan got my business card and the other one- Jeff offered to be my +1 for an upcoming event.

I want to stress that my Fall of Fabulousness is not about men (it’s all about ME) - but I'm single so if I meet a man with "potential" - what’s a girl to do?

Tonight, I’m meeting friends for sushi (my favorite) at a new restaurant, and then we’re heading to a place for live music and drinks.

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

I’m off to a great start!

Wednesday, I took a friend out to dinner for her B-Day at a very swanky restaurant (I won a gift certificate, so thought I would put it to good use). I looked good (had the IT GIRL factor working) and had a great time!

Thursday (last night), I went out for drinks and dinner with a new Meet-up group I joined. I got there early, so I had the chance to have a great conversation with a hottie named Dan who also arrived early. I had fun meeting and talking (about 10) everyone, but there were two guys with “potential”. Dan got my business card and the other one- Jeff offered to be my +1 for an upcoming event.

I want to stress that my Fall of Fabulousness is not about men (it’s all about ME) - but I'm single so if I meet a man with "potential" - what’s a girl to do?

Tonight, I’m meeting friends for sushi (my favorite) at a new restaurant, and then we’re heading to a place for live music and drinks.

Awesome! Sounds like you're having fun which is the important part, and if you meet a few sexy ones in the process, why not go for it?!?

 

[panamoni]

I should also say, I'm just trying to meet people in general to make more friends - male and female, and to have fun and not waste my life away at home.

Yesterday, I went to an info session/mingle event for a new club I'm going to join that does fun activities together. I had a great time -- met a few people - hope to see some again when they have future events. I went alone.

Tonight I'm going to out for appetizers and then a gospel concert with a friend.

That's actually going to be it for the weekend. I have some studying to do. But I just found out that I'm going to the MAXWELL concert on Monday -- I'm excited -- that will be with some coworkers.

 

[Jenaee]

Hey ladies! I started tonight & went to happy by myself. Didn't meet anyone but I wasn't looking to either. Had a good time!