Ex Just Proposed To The Girl After Me..
- Thread starter Kookookiwi
- Start date
quirkydimples
Well-Known Member
When my now ex-husband tried that mess, I told him clearly that I would not respond to any messages from him that did not involve our child. I let him know that if not for our child I would never speak of or to him again. And I have followed through on that. He will text every blue moon hoping to catch me off guard. No ma'am...radio silence.
You don't owe him anything and he's not being genuine; he's being very manipulative. Don't let him into your life at all.
You don't owe him anything and he's not being genuine; he's being very manipulative. Don't let him into your life at all.
quirkydimples
Well-Known Member
He is not your friend anymore. And it should be final. If you don't cut him off, you are setting yourself up for side chick status down the road...
He's already setting it up with the tired, lame-*ss what if scenarios. Don't fall for the okey-doke. He's still upset that you actually moved on and it's a hit on his ego that he wants to rectify.
KidneyBean86
Southern sweetheart
I agree with what everyone else has said. Cut him off completely.
awhyley
Well-Known Member
And that's what you both need, esp. you since this guy is obviously playing games. Give yourself the gift of permanent separation from him this Christmas (and always *nods*).
CarefreeinChicago
Well-Known Member
Block on all platforms.
Kalani
Well-Known Member
Sounds about right. Men seem to revel in the knowledge that you are still pining away for them when they've moved on. If you move on without missing a beat it rocks their world. When they contact you trying to get under your skin again its their way of trying to take back control. Total ego madness.
Kookookiwi
Well-Known Member
He ended up texting me seven times over that night and the next morning. I still haven't responded and won't be doing so on any future occasions. I haven't blocked him yet, but I don't have a Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram so the only way he'd be able to contact me is phone or email.
I just hope he doesn't try to pop up over my parent's house or any mutual friends while I'm visiting
. I doubt he'd be that extra though.
I just hope he doesn't try to pop up over my parent's house or any mutual friends while I'm visiting
. I doubt he'd be that extra though.
RocStar
Well-Known Member
He ended up texting me seven times over that night and the next morning. I still haven't responded and won't be doing so on any future occasions. I haven't blocked him yet, but I don't have a Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram so the only way he'd be able to contact me is phone or email.
I just hope he doesn't try to pop up over my parent's house or any mutual friends while I'm visiting
Why don't you just block him?
Kookookiwi
Well-Known Member
I don't need to block someone to not speak to them, so why bother? If there was anyone I felt I needed to block to keep them from getting a hold of me I'd probably need a restraining order as well. Other than that you can text/call and I just won't answer *shrug*. But, if he ever truly needed help he'd still have a way to reach me. That's always been how I've done things. The only time I've blocked anyone was when I needed to keep myself from seeking them out. Otherwise, I live my life, ignore you unless it's serious and keep it moving.
ETA: Now if he did do some crazy ish like show up at my parent or friend's places or if continues to excessively text or call me then I'd block him. But occasional reaching out like this I'll just ignore.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
She's asking why not block to protect you from him intruding here and there whenever he feels like it, hence drawing you in once again and you feeling uncomfortable. Even if you can ignore him, you are still allowing him access to you which seems distressing to you. We are on your side. Trying to help you problem solve the situation. If he ever truly needed help he would find you. Plus, if he ever truly needed help why would he call his ex?
awhyley
Well-Known Member
I just hope he doesn't try to pop up over my parent's house or any mutual friends while I'm visiting
I'd block him for JUST that reason, because he may think that his messages are simply NOT going through, so he may just pop by to say hi. Blocking him, would show that you made the decision not to contact him, and put him off from trying to contact you further online or in person.
bklynbornNbred
Well-Known Member
Change his name to Do Not Answer and let his messages go straight to the folder. He knows the message went through. Your silence is deafening. Stay that way.
If it was a true emergency one of your mutual friends would tell you. Let him fiancee worry about him.
SpiritJunkie
Well-Known Member
I have a few DNA's on my phone....works wonders. Trains your mind not to answer....& ignore. I use the block feature when needed as well. it definitely sends a message...
at the end of the day you know the man...do what you feel best. block or just ignore/DNA his behind!
at the end of the day you know the man...do what you feel best. block or just ignore/DNA his behind!
biznesswmn
Well-Known Member
Idk if u told him yet but u might just say... Since u have been friends for so long... That u dont want him to contact u anymore, instead of ignoring. This way there is no confusion as to why u r not responding.
Let him know u dont hate him but its not good for either of u in the current situation to continue in any friendship type capacity
Then go dark
Let him know u dont hate him but its not good for either of u in the current situation to continue in any friendship type capacity
Then go dark
Kookookiwi
Well-Known Member
I understand and appreciate you all's support. Like I said, I don't think at this point I need to block him. It's been six months since he first proposed to his fiance. When he reached out to me I felt nothing but, "Are you serious? You're engaged, move on." I posted here just to give an update (and to gossip a little in a low threat environment), especially since so many of you ladies said this would happen. But he has no bearing on my life or my feelings at this time. We live states and states away from each other now and I'm enjoying a new job, new place, and a new environment. He knows I received his messages and knows I chose to ignore him. I don't think he'll be reaching out again.
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Kookookiwi
Well-Known Member
No Android, but there is Do Not Disturb so I won't receive any notifications when he texts/calls. Like I said though at this point I don't need any help not responding to him. The whole sidepiece attempts make it very easy to cut him off.
bklynbornNbred
Well-Known Member
@Kookookiwi your original update didn't sound so sure. If you're good then gossip away girl! We've all had that friend that says one thing but really didn't want to do end ties so they fall back to old habits when hot text is on phone.
Keen
Well-Known Member
I understand. I'm like that too. If I don't want to talk to you, I won't. In fact, I rather keep your number so I know it's you calling or texting so I don't even get curious (I can't identify too many numbers without seeing the name). However, If I feel like I'm the one who will try to contact you, I delete that number quick.
Browndilocks
Browndisha Brownie Sundae
This is the type of person who should never ever receive your help. Ever.
ArrrBeee
Well-Known Member
He'll reach out again. They always do.
Kookookiwi
Well-Known Member
@CurlyMoo Yes to ego in the sense that it solidifies that he's no prize and I haven't missed out on anything. That he texted me that just confirms what I've told myself since letting this relationship go; he's not the one. I'm definitely not sitting here with my phone going "yes! He text me! I knew he wanted me! Mhmmm, got a fiance and still can't stay away." I don't see his attempts as a reflection of my worth. They're actually very disappointing, because I thought he knew me better than that and I'm worth FAR more than that. Also, yes, it does make me feel powerful. I have grown so much. When I started this thread that text would've made my stomach tight and spurred all sorts of introspective life musings. Now, I give no more than a courtesy ***.
No to caring about our past relationship or his current one.
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Kookookiwi
Well-Known Member
If this is a prayer circle thank you much! If it's just a frolicking circle of smiley happiness, thank you for that too!
Atthatday
Every knee shall bow...
Kookookiwi
Well-Known Member
@Atthatday no need to apologize 
. Thank you. I really appreciate it.
. Thank you. I really appreciate it.
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