Finally happened to me...

[CurlyMoo]

I work for an organization composed of people from 17 different countries (none African). I work/live in a country with no local black people. I work/hang out with another Black American female who has natural BSL unstretched hair. So you would think that between the two of us we would have a lot of experiences like that right? NO! People who are curious about our hair (or any other aspect of Blackness) know how to ask in a respectful, tactful way. Because its always a positive experience I am happy to be the 'representative for all things Black'.

That woman was deliberately being catty with the "normal" comment because she felt threatened by you (as demonstrated by her clinging to her husband when you came around). Don't be fooled! That was bad behavior and I would have stopped her immediately at "normal" while we were alone in the Ladies' room.

And yes, your eyelashes are FAB!

Plain and simple! Thank you. I don't know why Asians and other non-Whites get a pass on this site. I guess because our beef is usually with White folks that we just think everyone else is nice, innocent and usually a fellow victim of the Man.

Everyone knows that you don't say someone is not normal even if you are curious and don't know much of other cultures. This woman was being insulting, mean and pretending to be clueless to soften the blow; because she knows how insecure Black women are about our hair. She was trying to make her feel self counsious and knock her down a peg. I've seen it done by many women of all races but Asian women make an artform of manipulation. Remember these are suppose to be the smart people. Right then and there I would have called her mean and ignorant!

 

[blackbarbietea]

I was ticked at "normal" too. She needs to realize that "normal" means WHITE people, not her Korean arse.

HOLY SWEET BABY JESUS @ YOUR SIGGIE. ;(

 

[miss cosmic]

I don't see how anyone can fail to be offended by the reference to 'normal people'. implying that someone else is not normal is not ignorance, nor does it show anything other than rudeness and a desire to insult.
I don't care if you've lived on top of a mountain all your life, I don't care how old you are or where you're from: to ask another human being a question that clearly excludes them from 'normal' people is nothing but asking for trouble. that woman is not ignorant and I don't understand why some of you are taking the 'normal' comment as a sign of ignorance rather than the insult it was fully intended to be.

 

[curlyninjagirl]

^^^For reals! I'm like what the HUH??? There's this thing called manners....call me crazy but if I were curious about a physical feature I wasn't familiar with, I wouldn't go making an A$$ of myself and ask the person about it directly! Such a thing may be off-putting to that person.

I'd POLITELY google it later!!!

 

[runwaydream]

HOLY SWEET BABY JESUS @ YOUR SIGGIE. ;(

i know right? he's actually my comp background now

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

I'm not mad at.the normal people comment because if most natural women and relaxed women shampooed our hair like most people see as the norm we would have tangles galore. The things that us LHCF women do regularly folks don't. That's why when folks ask about my hair I let them know up front that half the stuff I do they probably won't be willing to. But I can understand why some are upset.

 

[darlingdiva]

I don't see how anyone can fail to be offended by the reference to 'normal people'. implying that someone else is not normal is not ignorance, nor does it show anything other than rudeness and a desire to insult.
I don't care if you've lived on top of a mountain all your life, I don't care how old you are or where you're from: to ask another human being a question that clearly excludes them from 'normal' people is nothing but asking for trouble. that woman is not ignorant and I don't understand why some of you are taking the 'normal' comment as a sign of ignorance rather than the insult it was fully intended to be.

This post says it all--THANK YOU!!!

^^^For reals! I'm like what the HUH??? There's this thing called manners....call me crazy but if I were curious about a physical feature I wasn't familiar with, I wouldn't go making an A$$ of myself and ask the person about it directly! Such a thing may be off-putting to that person.

I'd POLITELY google it later!!!

The bolded is what some people seem to forget. It's normal (pun intended) to be curious, but there is a way to go about making inquiries. The method this woman employed was highly insulting.

I'm not mad at.the normal people comment because if most natural women and relaxed women shampooed our hair like most people see as the norm we would have tangles galore. The things that us LHCF women do regularly folks don't. That's why when folks ask about my hair I let them know up front that half the stuff I do they probably won't be willing to. But I can understand why some are upset.

I think the issue that I and other posters are having with the "normal" comment is that it is too synonymous with the bolded portion of the dictionary.com definition of normal:
normal nor·mal (nôr'məl)
adj.
Functioning or occurring in a natural way; lacking observable abnormalities or deficiencies.

 

[Carisa]

Question: What does Asians, normal people, eyelashes, dating, and Beyonce's nose all have in common?

Ans: This thread!...Love it

OP, the asian chick bolded up on you didn't she...lol. I thought we were supposed to be the tactless ones. Seems like you have the chemistry for attracting Asian men...e.g. Asian professor turned friend, Chinese boyfriend...Maybe she was trying to test your gansta just in case you behaved "abnormally" and went after her man. Get up on her black hair knowledge so she could use it against you. I can hear her telling her husband...They not even wash their hair like normal people..lol

LMAO!!!!!!!!! Agreed!

 

[brownbean96]

I probably would not have been offended by the comments.- she's obviously ignorant about black hair as is most non- blacks so as I usually do, I would have used it as a teaching moment. All except for the normal comment. I imagine what she meant and it kind of falls into the clueless/ignorant (not knowledgeable) bucket but I would have checked her on that. You do better when you know better- she would have know about normal at the end of the conversation. But as you eluded to, hindsight is always 20/20. You answered appropriately.

 

[Rei]

Volver_Alma_Gitana Sorry, off topic, but girrrl, your siggy is scandalous. I like!! I wish it were all about the hair, lol.

Back to OP, I was taking your whole story casually until she said "like normal people" . OT (again, lol): You have a Chinese boyfriend? That's pretty neat. I'm trying to open my horizon to other males of different races on campus. I go to a school where the pickings for black boys are already pretty slim (and they're extremely talented and well-sought after, considering the school I attend).

'Bout to be ex-boyfriend to tell you the truth but let me not even start. I went to a PWI for engineering so its all asian and indian men...Black men? almost nonexistent. Plus a lot of them don't go for me anyway, I don't have much of a body But I've never exclusively dated black men before either even when there were a lot of them. I base heavily on personality, and only a tiny bit on looks. So if you think that men of different races are out of your comfort zone, just think about what you like in someone you might be interested in (if they're non-black), and if you would date them if they were black. If the answer is yes, then why not now?

Question: What does Asians, normal people, eyelashes, dating, and Beyonce's nose all have in common?

Ans: This thread!...Love it

OP, the asian chick bolded up on you didn't she...lol. I thought we were supposed to be the tactless ones. Seems like you have the chemistry for attracting Asian men...e.g. Asian professor turned friend, Chinese boyfriend...Maybe she was trying to test your gansta just in case you behaved "abnormally" and went after her man. Get up on her black hair knowledge so she could use it against you. I can hear her telling her husband...They not even wash their hair like normal people..lol

you know she would be the type to do exactly this...hell she probably did it while I was there, she did say some stuff to him in Korean a while afterwards.

Plain and simple! Thank you. I don't know why Asians and other non-Whites get a pass on this site. I guess because our beef is usually with White folks that we just think everyone else is nice, innocent and usually a fellow victim of the Man.

Everyone knows that you don't say someone is not normal even if you are curious and don't know much of other cultures. This woman was being insulting, mean and pretending to be clueless to soften the blow; because she knows how insecure Black women are about our hair. She was trying to make her feel self counsious and knock her down a peg. I've seen it done by many women of all races but Asian women make an artform of manipulation. Remember these are suppose to be the smart people. Right then and there I would have called her mean and ignorant!

I sort of got this feeling too..I have a lot of asian friends by virtue of being in engineering, and I had never gotten a question like that before...She was not straight out of Korea too, she had lived in San Francisco for a while. Last time I checked, there are black folk in San Fran.

^^^For reals! I'm like what the HUH??? There's this thing called manners....call me crazy but if I were curious about a physical feature I wasn't familiar with, I wouldn't go making an A$$ of myself and ask the person about it directly! Such a thing may be off-putting to that person.

I'd POLITELY google it later!!!

That last point is completely correct. There actually have been things I've been curious about with people with other races, like do all indian woman henna, and how the whole Japanese sit down bath thing works to get them completely clean, but am I going to go up to one of them and ask it in an insulting manner? No. I'll just google it, and I'm likely to find a correct answer....

 

[Hairsofab]

you should've pulled her hair.

 

[Rei]

^

I should have, honestly. And acted all confused like "OH I WONDERED IF YOU GUYS WASHED YOUR HAIR LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE TOO, I WAS TOO AFRAID TO ASK"

ahh, hindsight

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

Exactly the normal people line, she knew what doing she was pretending to be all ignorant just to mess with you. I would have called her out and be like "What's wrong with you?"

She wouldn't have liked it if you said "why aren't your eyes shaped like "normal people"?" Obviously you won't becasue that is rude as hell. feigning ignorance

 

[Eritreladiee]

lmao @ "normal people"

you should've just told her yeah, you wash your hair like "normal people" and since you were on the subject, asked her if she could see like "normal people." just curious, ya know

she probably meant no harm. some folks just don't know how to talk.

eta: ^^^^ oops, i should've read through the comments first. someone got to it before me