Ex Just Proposed To The Girl After Me..

[Kookookiwi]

She's white and chunky too..

I figured it was coming because a few months ago he sent me a picture of the ring and asked what I thought about it. Then, about two weeks ago he was texting and calling me at 2:00 AM reminiscing on old times and sending out feelers on us hooking up

I'm not sure how to feel. Part of me is happy I dodged a bullet, another cynical that men ain't ish. While she's posting sweet statuses about it he was just being shady. And another part feels weird about our mutual friends commenting. We've known each other since childhood and were the almost highschool sweetheart success story. I just can't help but feel they're kind of judging me and my worth since he proposed to her after dating me.

I just feel weird.

 

[RocStar]

Sorry this happened but I'm sure it is for the better.

On another note, if someone is an ex, 9 out of 10 times it is best to end all communication with them. Nothing good can come from continued communication.

 

[Kookookiwi]

Sorry this happened but I'm sure it is for the better.

On another note, if someone is an ex, 9 out of 10 times it is best to end all communication with them. Nothing good can come from continued communication.

Thanks for the well wishes and I know you're right about it being for the better. That's why feeling a bit of a way kind of took me by surprise. I know it wouldn't have worked and I'm pretty sure I'm over our relationship, but I still had a pang of sadness.

Yea I thought we were ready for communication but I think maybe we'll never get there.. and that's ok.

 

[RocStar]

I know it wouldn't have worked and I'm pretty sure I'm over our relationship, but I still had a pang of sadness.

Yea I thought we were ready for communication but I think maybe we'll never get there.. and that's ok.

Of course...I would to.

 

[Kimbosheart]

This is understandable. It's a universal fear when you've been in a long term relationship that ends up not working out.

You are absolutely right. You are over him and you knew it wouldn't work out. Your turn is on the way.

 

[Topsido]

I'm sorry this happened to you. It is okay to explore your feelings but don't wallow in it. There's a reason why he became an ex.

Those combo friends wishing them luck will want to sidle up to you to entertain themselves with your thoughts. Keep shut, look fabulous and KIM.

 

[Kookookiwi]

Of course...I would to.

This is understandable. It's a universal fear when you've been in a long term relationship that ends up not working out.

You are absolutely right. You are over him and you knew it wouldn't work out. Your turn is on the way.

Thanks ladies *e-hugs* It's nice to know it's a normal way to feel even if you know that chapter is closed

I'm sorry this happened to you. It is okay to explore your feelings but don't wallow in it. There's a reason why he became an ex.

Those combo friends wishing them luck will want to sidle up to you to entertain themselves with your thoughts. Keep shut, look fabulous and KIM.

Thank you Topsido! I'm sure those omg girl did you see..?! How are you feeling! Isn't that crazy texts are coming. Thankfully I already had a fun night with my girls planned so I won't be able to sit and wallow.

 

[intellectualuva]

Those combo friends wishing them luck will want to sidle up to you to entertain themselves with your thoughts. Keep shut, look fabulous and KIM.

I second this. This is great advice. My aunt would add...don't let them (mutual friends) see you sweat. Lol.

Good luck OP. Everything happens for a reason. You send him and his Roseanne your well wishes (with your thoughts) and keep it moving.

 

[MzLady78]

Man, even if y'all are civil, texting you for your thoughts about a ring he's gonna give someone else is just cruel and effed up.

That "let's still be friends" stuff is overrated.

 

[DarkJoy]

Yea. Jacked up. Sounds like hes still hurt over you OP. Why he sent that pic to sting you. What a jerk.

Let him take his Michelin Man and live happily ever after.

Like others said, dont let the mutual friends see your pangs. Its just food for the rl trolls. Sorry this happened. Best to you.

Man, even if y'all are civil, texting you for your thoughts about a ring he's gonna give someone else is just cruel and effed up.

That "let's still be friend" stuff is overrated.

 

[Kookookiwi]

Man, even if y'all are civil, texting you for your thoughts about a ring he's gonna give someone else is just cruel and effed up.

That "let's still be friend" stuff is overrated.

I thought it was weird and was like okkkk... But we had been "friends" with no incident for awhile so I let it go.

Yea. Jacked up. Sounds like hes still hurt over you OP. Why he sent that pic to sting you. What a jerk.

Let him take his Michelin Man and live happily ever after.

Like others said, dont let the mutual friends see your pangs. Its just food for the rl trolls. Sorry this happened. Best to you.

It's funny you say that about the pic because when he was calling and texting a couple of weeks ago he kept saying how hurt he was when I moved on and all the usual bs. Funny because he ended things, not me.

I'd thought he'd changed as a person and was interested in being a friend (and maybe he was) but I think you ladies are right and this isn't a friendship I need or want.

 

[hopeful]

Cease all communication with him. I agree with @MzLady78 that him texting you a pic of the ring was cruel. You must be a really sweet person to have not gone off and/or cut off all communication at that point.

 

[DarkJoy]

So basically you hurt his ego by moving on and this was his passive aggressive revenge. In the end this relationship will hurt him (and her) a lot in the long run than it is you now if thats part of the fuel for his proposal .

Consider yourself lucky to be free of this emotional retard.

I thought it was weird and was like okkkk... But we had been "friends" with no incident for awhile so I let it go.


It's funny you say that about the pic because when he was calling and texting a couple of weeks ago he kept saying how hurt he was when I moved on and all the usual bs. Funny because he ended things, not me.

I'd thought he'd changed as a person and was interested in being a friend (and maybe he was) but I think you ladies are right and this isn't a friendship I need or want.

 

[Kookookiwi]

Cease all communication with him. I agree with @MzLady78 that him texting you a pic of the ring was cruel. You must be a really sweet person to have not gone off and/or cut off all communication at that point.

Lol I just thought why would I help you pick her ring and kept it moving. I was like dang, this man must really have no friends if he's asking me lol.

I'm feeling much better today ladies! I think it was just the initial shock. He normally reaches out to me but now that I see this friendship isn't in my best interest I won't be responding. Thanks for the well wishes!

 

[crazytrish75]

I see this happen sooooo many times...Break up happens and they hop up and marry the next available one that will have them. He's only trying to replace what he lost with you. But she ain't you....I predict failure for this marriage...

 

[Kookookiwi]

I see this happen sooooo many times...Break up happens and they hop up and marry the next available one that will have them. He's only trying to replace what he lost with you. But she ain't you....I predict failure for this marriage...

Lol! I try not to even think about their success or failure because I don't want to invest myself in him anymore. I don't see her letting it fail though. Ol girl latched on from the very beginning and he just goes along. I also think she'd put up with anything he threw her way as he's her meal ticket. I could see a verrryyyy long engagement if she doesn't push the issue.

Also, his mom texted me a month or so ago telling me how proud she was of me and all I've accomplished and she can't wait to see what I do next. In our relationship she encouraged or caused a great deal of the issues that ultimately ended us. I think now she sees what she's going to be stuck with in a daughter in law instead and might regret it a bit. Oh well.

 

[UniquelyDivine]

This happened to me as well, down to her being white and chunky. It is a weird feeling but as time goes on you won't feel any kind of way about it.

It knocked me on my butt when I first heard but after I got out my feelings I reminded myself that I want more than what he can offer. Count it all Joy that he's no longer your headache.

 

[ThirdEyeBeauty]

Part of you feels like you dodged a bullet and now the other part needs to feel this way.

I have dodged several bullets. One guy I was not interested in and turned him down. He married some gold-digging, green card wishing Asian woman. He was just bragging to family about me and when I did not warm up to him, he blew up my phone and Messenger (long time ago) with his announcement of marriage and pictures of his wife. Months later, he contacted me sounding not-so happy and having problems during the honeymoon phase. The last guy to do that I laughed. He wanted a more domestic wife who would work for his business rather than have her own career and help him too. He tried to sow his oats after proposing and again a month before marrying his now wife. What a life that would be? Now imagine me being happy if I was that woman?

Now you do the same. You truly did dodged a bullet. You just don't feel it fully yet because of the feelings you have for him.

 

[JustifiablyMe]

Men are like cabs:



I'm starting to believe this more and more each day. :-/

 

[Kookookiwi]

Men are like cabs:



I'm starting to believe this more and more each day. :-/

I believe it.

 

[ElizaBlue]

OP he's marrying or rather engaged to the fall back girl. When you moved on, even though ya'll were broken up he went through an even bigger sense of rejection. So to make himself feel better he went to someone who saw him as more than you did and would therefore be a safe bet....he had zero fear of rejection from her.

I've seen this repeat itself more times than I'm comfortable admitting. Moving on from a man cripples him logically and for years. Some never get over it and they tend to do strange things to make themselves feel better.

Thank God for the prayers he didn't answer and continue to be great!

 

[fuchsiastar]

OP, so sorry this happened. As you see from the other ladies advice, it all works out in the end.

Those combo friends wishing them luck will want to sidle up to you to entertain themselves with your thoughts. Keep shut, look fabulous and KIM.

This is probably the best advice for you for the next two months. Whenever anyone mentions his name, look cute and coy and say "who? Oh girl, I don't even consider him on my radar!" then giggle or smirk and reapply your lipstick Do it enough times and people will see with their eyes and ears that you have moved on and are doing fine....and they already noticed his new chick is a downgrade, so they will switch to gossiping about her and talking about how "he lost in that deal. look at her vs kiwi....I would take kiwi all day, he is dumb"

You send him and his Roseanne your well wishes (with your thoughts) and keep it moving.

hilarious and so true, if they do last just sit back and watch the aging process

 

[Kookookiwi]

OP he's marrying or rather engaged to the fall back girl. When you moved on, even though ya'll were broken up he went through an even bigger sense of rejection. So to make himself feel better he went to someone who saw him as more than you did and would therefore be a safe bet....he had zero fear of rejection from her.

I've seen this repeat itself more times than I'm comfortable admitting. Moving on from a man cripples him logically and for years. Some never get over it and they tend to do strange things to make themselves feel better.

Thank God for the prayers he didn't answer and continue to be great!

Wonderful reminder!

OP, so sorry this happened. As you see from the other ladies advice, it all works out in the end.
This is probably the best advice for you for the next two months. Whenever anyone mentions his name, look cute and coy and say "who? Oh girl, I don't even consider him on my radar!" then giggle or smirk and reapply your lipstick Do it enough times and people will see with their eyes and ears that you have moved on and are doing fine....and they already noticed his new chick is a downgrade, so they will switch to gossiping about her and talking about how "he lost in that deal. look at her vs kiwi....I would take kiwi all day, he is dumb"

I love this line! I've been blessed so far. I've only had three people mention it and they all seemed to be coming from a genuine place. He hasn't tried to contact me either so all has been going well.

 

[Solila]

@Kookookiwi I am so sorry this happened to you op. He's an "ex" for a reason, right? Count your blessings hunny. You have been there and done that....On to bigger and better things.

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

What an ass. A situation like this happened to me and instead of the guy getting married, he got the next chick pregnant. This was after he told me he didn't want any kids lmao. She ended up being crazy too * shrugs*

 

[Kookookiwi]

Welp. Just got the, "sometimes I think what if I didn't mess things up between us" text. I know. I wasn't supposed to be talking to him. He triple text two days in a row and I finally responded. He started with the what are your plans for the holidays, will you be home? And progressed to can we hang out or talk and then this.

Not sure what my reply, if any, should be.

 

[Kookookiwi]

I'm not going to reply. Nothing but drama will come from that conversation.

 

[MyCoilsGoBoing]

Not replying is the best decision. I would delete and block him from all forms of communication next. He needs to be talking to his fiance.

 

[Kookookiwi]

He's still texting. Now trying to apologize for over stepping boundaries and that he wants to be a friend to me and please just answer. One of my best friends thinks I should respond and just tell him that we can't be friends and I no longer want to have any communication with him. I think there's no need to say it when j could just do it.

 

[Kookookiwi]

Not replying is the best decision. I would delete and block him from all forms of communication next. He needs to be talking to his fiance.

I don't normally block people, but maybe I should? It would be hard to block him because we were best friends for so long and have known each other since childhood. It would just seem very final.