Ever Come to the Realization that Some of Your "Dealbreakers" AREN'T Dealbreakers???

[NYLegalNewbie]

In the past year, I've realized that some things which I believed to be "dealbreakers" really were not.

The first was height. When I was on match.com and other dating sites, I would always put my desired height as being between 5'10 and 6'4" (I'm about 5'5"). However, I met this guy who I dated for a few months who was a scant 5'6". I was unbelievably attracted to him and it threw me for a loop.

The second was whether or not a guy was a non-smoker. I used to think that there was NO WAY I was going to date a smoker. Ewww. Gross. Not happening.

Well, paint me a little liar because the guy I'm nuts about right now indulges in puffing on some ciggies. However, he apparently found out that one of his "dealbreakers" really wasn't one either - he's a vegetarian and he swore that he wouldn't date women who ate meat (not too hard to find lots of vegetarian women in NY, they're quite common). Me, I'm practically a carnivore. LOL! Just kidding...but I do love steak.

Anyone else had similar discoveries?

 

[MizAvalon]

Re: Ever Come to the Realization that Some of Your "Dealbreakers" AREN'T Dealbreakers

Not me. I only have a few dealbreakers and I feel very strongly about them so there will be no compromise.

Now there are some dealbreakers that people claim they have that I think are just silly. Ones like that are likely to be reconsidered down the line. Especially physical or behavioral traits that can actually be changed. For example, "I only date blondes".

 

[soulie]

Re: Ever Come to the Realization that Some of Your "Dealbreakers" AREN'T Dealbreakers

Race and religion were my engraved in stone dealbreakers. Over the years, the others (such as height) fell away one by one.

 

[freshlikemoi]

Re: Ever Come to the Realization that Some of Your "Dealbreakers" AREN'T Dealbreakers

Religion & Education is my engraved in stone deal breaker.

--I thought hair was a biggie. My boyfriend has the most beautiful locks. Never in a million years would I have believed it, if someone told me that I would take a guy with longer hair than me. But oh how I love him, and that beautiful head of hair.

 

[Spongie Bloom]

Re: Ever Come to the Realization that Some of Your "Dealbreakers" AREN'T Dealbreakers

Ok, this is me during this summer...ok forgive me because i am still a little wet behind the ears so two deal breakers were he has to be taller than me (like 6 foot and over) and that he has to be drop dead georgeous, i met a guy at my summer job who blew that out the water he is about 3 inches taller than me and he is very average looking but the way he makes me feel ooo boy and that threw me cause i hads never considered that before lol and now i dont really concentrate too much on the physical stuff, i mean attraction has to be there of course but gorgeousness is not as important as i thought it was.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Re: Ever Come to the Realization that Some of Your "Dealbreakers" AREN'T Dealbreakers

I had lots of criteria : race, religion, never married, no kids, 5'10" & up, graduate degree, non-smoker, short hair & proper grooming, lived on his own for a few years, can cook, cleans, only Southern gentlemen or men with Southern upbringing, only a social drinker.....all sorts of things.

Over the years only a few remained deal breakers.

 

[Farida]

Re: Ever Come to the Realization that Some of Your "Dealbreakers" AREN'T Dealbreakers

Ok, this is me during this summer...ok forgive me because i am still a little wet behind the ears so two deal breakers were he has to be taller than me (like 6 foot and over) and that he has to be drop dead georgeous, i met a guy at my summer job who blew that out the water he is about 3 inches taller than me and he is very average looking but the way he makes me feel ooo boy and that threw me cause i hads never considered that before lol and now i dont really concentrate too much on the physical stuff, i mean attraction has to be there of course but gorgeousness is not as important as i thought it was.

Glad you learned that. Because even if you marry mr. gorgeous today, doesn't mean he'll look like that in 20 years or even 5...