Drive-by Texts

[Silkycoils]

I absolutely HATE these!!!! These are when someone texts you first, you respond, and they don't respond. They never close out the conversation. I find this incredibly annoying, and somewhat triggering, quite frankly. Like, DON'T even engage me if you can't properly close out the conversation. I feel this is very common among flop-boys . . .like they send mass texts to see who responds.

I'm on a moratorium from blocking folks (I'm seriously trying to deal with my rejection issues. Although 99.9% justified, blocking cuts people off before they have the chance to "hurt" you.), but I had to put this guy's text notifications on silent. He did a drive-by text today and it annoyed me greatly. We connected on match.com (I know, I know ), and we have great and long phone conversations (I have to be the one to get off), but I get controlling teas from him, not to mention a bit of emotional unavailability. I wouldn't mind having him as a friend, but then you have to be careful of that because these emotionally unavoidable/narcs will try to charm their way in. I'm listening to my gut!

 

[Mai Tai]

I do this all the time to my friends and family and it drives them crazy. I'm not a huge texter and HATE hearing notifications going off on my phone, but I don't live in a bubble and I care about the feelings of others so in return if I don't plan on holding a full text conversation, I just don't text at all.

 

[Silkycoils]

I do this all the time to my friends and family and it drives them crazy. I'm not a huge texter and HATE hearing notifications going off on my phone, but I don't live in a bubble and I care about the feelings of others so in return if I don't plan on holding a full text conversation, I just don't text at all.

I'd actually prefer this. Or if it was just a quick text to say that they were thinking about you, then say that.

 

[Silkycoils]

There are more things that set off my "spidey senses", but I'll type more when I get to work.

 

[BlueEra]

I had a guy I was dating who was notorious for this and it drove me crazy! What made it worse was that he would leave his read receipts on, so I would know that he was reading my messages and just choosing not to respond. Ugh.

Every once in awhile he would pop up randomly and send me a text and then disappear into the abyss once again. I finally caught on and stopped responding altogether.

 

[hopeful]

I hate when people do that! I have a few friends who do that and it’s so annoying. I had a friend who would text saying let’s get together for lunch. I’d say sure and then crickets. This went on for months. Like I’d say sure then weeks or months later she’d start the whole thing all over again. Like hey we should get together. The last time I told her that it would be better that she not ask at all because it was like being disappointed over and over again. Her feelings were hurt but she understood and stopped doing that.

 

[LiftedUp]

In recent times I've gotten particular with persons disrupting my zen. Before I wouldn't respond but the text itself would annoy me. So now I just block and go about my day.

 

[Reinventing21]

I am adhd when it comes to text. I do not understand how people can text hours on end. I have too much to do. Plus when you text, you have no idea where that person is, what they were in the middle of. However, I do usually let person know I cannot text, but there are times when I have had to stop texting without getting chance to finish till hours later.

I hate the idea that people should be available 24/7 cuz of cell phones. I will cut a guy off for that if they can' t understand that.

Fortunately everyone I know is understanding.

That said, I can understand the op's frustration if that is her primary way of getting to know a new guy.

 

[Silkycoils]

I am adhd when it comes to text. I do not understand how people can text hours on end. I have too much to do. Plus when you text, you have no idea where that person is, what they were in the middle of. However, I do usually let person know I cannot text, but there are times when I have had to stop texting without getting chance to finish till hours later.

I hate the idea that people should be available 24/7 cuz of cell phones. I will cut a guy off for that if they can' t understand that.

Fortunately everyone I know is understanding.

That said, I can understand the op's frustration if that is her primary way of getting to know a new guy.

I think you're misunderstanding the OP . . .THEY are the ones who initiate, and when you respond, they don't answer. Like, don't engage me then! I am perfectly content to not be contacted. I have lhcf and my own thoughts to keep me occupied.

 

[THicknLong]

Been there and done that!.. I had a gentleman would text me once a month, engage in convo and just disappear. I have gotten to the point of just blocking and deleting them. I am a firm believer some people just love to waste time.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Yeah, he's annoyed me for you. He can take up your time where you have to be the one to end the conversation but then he can't stay focused long enough to finish texts.

Every blue moon, ignore his text and see what happens.

 

[gimbap]

I HATE this! Don't initiate conversation with me *if you don't actually want to converse*. It's like they're just bored and need something or someone to keep them occupied until something else comes along. Nope. Leave me alone.

 

[rabs77]

Yikes- I’m guilty of this. Not initiatiating and leaving you hanging but just reading a text and forgetting to respond. I get very busy and I’m getting very forgetful lately.

 

[Reinventing21]

I think you're misunderstanding the OP . . .THEY are the ones who initiate, and when you respond, they don't answer. Like, don't engage me then! I am perfectly content to not be contacted. I have lhcf and my own thoughts to keep me occupied.

Ooohhhh!!! You are right, I didn't understand the op. Thanks for explaining!

So yeah, that would annoy the heck out me too. They would be blocked.

 

[sgold04]

Yikes- I’m guilty of this. Not initiatiating and leaving you hanging but just reading a text and forgetting to respond. I get very busy and I’m getting very forgetful lately.

I’m guilty of this too, and I will initiate
My intentions are always good I’ll be in a starbucks drive thru and think, “I need to check on so and so” so I’ll shoot them a text...then I drive off with my drink and walk into an office where I have meetings all day and then I’ll be frazzled and forget to reply. I am doing a bit better with the new job though, less stress and fewer things to do.

 

[Reinventing21]

^^^ Sounds like me BUT if I were interested in someone, I would prob more careful about that so if a guy does that to me routinely I would know he is not interested.

 

[sgold04]

^^^ Sounds like me BUT if I were interested in someone, I would prob more careful about that so if a guy does that to me routinely I would know he is not interested.

Yeah you right. I haven’t been genuinely interested in someone for a while, so I honestly haven’t been more thoughtful when it comes to men I’m dating. Luckily my friends understand my situation and are forgiving (this last role was exceptionally crazy).

 

[LdyKamz]

See I am guilty of this with friends. Just this afternoon a friend of mine had an interview. I was heading out for lunch and saw it was time so I sent her a text asking if she was on her way and good luck. She responded immediately but I had already gone out for lunch and didn't see her response until I got back a whole 45 minutes later. But when I am dating someone and I don't know them well I would never...unless I'm not that interested and texted when I was bored and then something else came along. I have had that done to me as well. But when someone does it to me I usually just ignore.