Dr. Seth's Love Prescription

[hopeful]

Dr. Seth's Love Prescription

Also, here is an article he wrote regarding the subject of the book: Why Women Lust after Unavailable Men: Traumatic Love.

I found this book to be an easy read while still being very meaty. The author manages to be tough and straight forward and sensitive and kind.

Has anyone else read it? Any thoughts you'd like to share?

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

No, this the first time I'm hearing of it.

 

[caribeandiva]

No, this the first time I'm hearing of it.

Same here

 

[hopeful]

No, this the first time I'm hearing of it.

Same here

Check out the links. What I like is that his advice is very practical and step by step, true self help. Women spend far too much of their lives with bad men, men who don't love them, men who are wasting their time. His main premise is that women repeat the same dysfunctional patterns over and over, ignore signs, etc.
The four patterns:
Idealizing the external
Emotional chasing
Rescuing wounded souls
And sacrificing themselves.

 

[caribeandiva]

It sounds like an awesome book. I totally agree with his premise. We will keep repeating the same patterns until we do a lot of soul searching and healing. I'm blessed that I did most of mine in therapy and the rest through self-help books and support groups. He is absolutely right though. Those who don't learn their history will keep repeating it.

 

[God_Favor]

I should have not read that. One part of it really struck a chord so deep it tingles .... Wow, I can't believe I thought so little of myself to accept this. And none of it was his fault, I was just as sick as him.

 

[JustifiablyMe]

^^^The part that really struck a chord with me is when I listed all the traits my ex have in common and then I realized they are all like my father. I honestly never made the connection. It makes complete sense now why I keep dating the same men just in diff packages over and over with the same unsuccessful results. It's like I keep trying so hard to recreate the scenario with my father to finally win his validation and approval and to soothe my abandonment fears but all I've been doing is reinforcing it through the men I've been choosing.

 

[JustifiablyMe]

Another thing too is when he said to list the traits you dislike the most about your exes and mine is that they are all moody as hell and then I realized I am moody myself. It's kind of crazy to think I can dislike something so much that I am too. I guess water truly does seek its own level.

 

[hopeful]

I should have not read that. One part of it really struck a chord so deep it tingles .... Wow, I can't believe I thought so little of myself to accept this. And none of it was his fault, I was just as sick as him.

Striking a chord is good . But yes some of it is his fault too. If someone can hurt you they have issues. We just have to learn how to steer clear of these fellas and heal to the point that their games don't work. Be strong, keep healing, and keep moving forward. The book is very helpful.

 

[hopeful]

^^^The part that really struck a chord with me is when I listed all the traits my ex have in common and then I realized they are all like my father. I honestly never made the connection. It makes complete sense now why I keep dating the same men just in diff packages over and over with the same unsuccessful results. It's like I keep trying so hard to recreate the scenario with my father to finally win his validation and approval and to soothe my abandonment fears but all I've been doing is reinforcing it through the men I've been choosing.

It's crazy isn't it? Maybe now you can work on stopping the pattern. I'm glad you saw the connection.

 

[God_Favor]

There were so many odd things I accepted , that just became normal. Crazy.

 

[JustifiablyMe]

^^^That's because everyone's "normal" is relative to their experience; abuse is my normal. Speaking of, the character I identify most with is Penelope - no shocker lol. This book is really helping me get through some moments of weakness. My main problem is follow through. Yes I yell and lash out and won't speak to him for days or even a month but eventually I always give in and his old behaviors always return. It's nice to really have this book as a point of reference. Thanks so much, @hopeful!

Just an FYI, abuse comes in many forms. Just because you are not walking around with black eyes and broken bones doesn't mean you are not experiencing it (this is how I rationalized it).

 

[hopeful]

There were so many odd things I accepted , that just became normal. Crazy.

Right. It's the Gaslighting, the manipulation, the assuming no one who says they love you would intentionally want to cause you so much harm. So you rationalize the bad behavior and manage down your expectations again and again.

@JustifiablyMe
You are welcome. I'm so glad you are finding the book to be helpful. Keep posting and sharing. Openly discussing your situation, discovering you are not alone, getting love and support, is all part of your healing. Be strong. You are beautiful and loved.