Krissynick:
I've read this entire thread, and observing from several viewpoints I would have you look at your initial post because it can easily be misconstrued or misinterpreted due to the fact that there was an error in communication and your delivery. I don't think people are necessarily attacking you, but they are misunderstanding what you and your posts have implied for several reasons (I still haven't understood whether or not your just venting and asking if anyone feels as you do every now & then, or if it is truly a problem with your texture).
1.) When you make blanket statements, it is ALWAYS automatically interpreted as fact (which is one the reasons when writing in science, you ALWAYS state who the source from which you get your info and the source of your reasoning) Without implying that these are not necessarily your opinions but the things you hear people say or observe, it is automatically interpreted as YOUR opinion because you have failed to state otherwise.
2.) Furthermore, to some extent in your posts, you too seem to have internalized these beliefs that you state were not yours. For example, I am natural, and while I may only have 4a/b hair in a few small areas, it is NOT especially difficult for me to style. The same also seems to be true for Nappywoman. That is not to say I don't get mad at my hair when it wants to get crunk and I don't want to, but even then I WORK WITH IT and my styles usually turn out to be their best. I recognize the fact that my styling options are limitless as long as I have the patience to experiment and perfect it- rollersets, braids, twists, wash n gos, etc. You have to find what works for each specific style. Even with natural 4b hair, you can manipulate it SO MANY WAYS that it can assume another texture (within reason) by simply putting it in twists or rods. So no my hair's versatility is not limited and has even expanding tenfold now that I'm natural. Thus, I would have to respectfully disagree with this sentiment.
3.) In a brief summary, I believe most of these ladies are specifically saying that our hair is NOT inherently difficult but many attempt to style in ways that goes against its principle nature and design. There is nothing wrong with wanting to change styles, but consistently trying to manipulate your hair into something that it is the antithesis of its structure will only lead to hardship (a perfect ex. of this was when someone stated "imagining someone w/ bone straight hair trying to make it into an afro). Notice that most of the time people with naturally straight hair that is healthy almost never attempt to style it other than naturally straight (using wide tooth combs, little heat or curling irons, frequently keeping it clean). Those who attempt to go against or tame it (relaxing, heat, etc.) often have to have significant amounts cut off (4+) inches at least every 3 months.
People with naturally kinky 4b hair who don't go against its nature also don't have these problems either w/ excessive breakage, or styling versality once they become familiar with their hair's behavior (sonce, nappywomyn, nappyme, catface, md-ocr, crazycoil, jazzijenni,and a host of numerous others-there's actually an entire thread devoted to long thick natural hair floating around somewhere)
Some people in general (black, white, indian, etc) may have much more resilient hair that can take such abuse. Resiliency is NOT necessarily an intrinsic property of just naturally straight hair.
*****Important Note******
Most of the white, asian, and indian girls I know who many people think that they wash and go their hair into silky straightness often wake up at 6:30 am, wash, condition, blow dry, and flat iron (@ 450 degress) EVERY morning to look "presentable"
. Quite frankly I'm thrilled to be able to style my hair once a week or every 2 weeks and still look fabulous every morning without all of that work
. I just couldn't imagine
4.) Also, I would have to ask (for clarification), have you thought about the reasoning why you feel your hair is not as versatile as you think. What types of styles are you trying to adopt? Do you have to perform SIGNIFICANT OR EXTREME manipulation for it assume the manner that you wish (as this can lead to serious frustration)? If you could just wash n go every day, would you? You stated that you hair is now relaxed (so why can't you wash n go like many of the ladies on this forum do? There is a wealth of information about how to do this, even with 4b hair.
What was wrong with wearing your "huge" natural hair? What did you honestly expect it to do or look like-maybe you were not necessarily realistic about your hair's expectations.
Good luck on your hair journey and I'm happy to know that you are currently satisfied with your hair
* sorry this post is so long....I'm obviously quite long winded
