dont you find it funny ?

[krissynick]

Gul, I ain't arguing whicha...just conversing!

And to answer your question, no..I just think you need to keep trying different methods until you find something that works with your hair instead of against it...and you can do that relaxed. Their are tons of 4b women her who relax and have gorgeous hair..some set, others blowdry, others flat iron, other use molecular rollers, etc.

I cannot blow dry my hair at all b/c it looks grainy and frizzy..so I know that doesn't work, but my hair does like to be set..ok that works.

thanks ... i get what your saying.. now....

 

[krissynick]

Hrm.

I don't know if relaxed folx have an identity crisis - I'm sure some do, and I'm sure some don't, just as I'm sure some nappyheads have identity crisis and others don't.... I judge people on much more than just their hair....
I assume relaxed heads don't like the hair texture growing out of their head - I used to be relaxed, and it's not a pleasant (or goodsmelling) process (my scalp is itching just THINKING about it)- I can't imagine someone going through all that to get rid of something they LIKE.

There's a huge spectrum of emotions between HATE and DISLIKE and LIKE and LOVE - so do I think you hate your natural hair? *shrug* You just said you don't, so I can do nothing but believe you, but I have to believe you dislike it.

Not liking your hair doesn't make it inherently DIFFICULT, though.

Hmm... i dunno i just feel its easier for me to do relax and i might transition one day but okay ... we all have our perspectives... ill just leave it as that.

 

[sunnydaze]

Krissy,

Girl if you wanna relax, then relax! I for one, am not part of the "relaxed women hate themselves and their hair" brigade..b/c I have been relaxed for almost 25 years and I don't hate myself or my hair...I just wanna see what's going on underneath the creamy crack..

Seriously though, you seem to be a relatively new poster. Do a search and find some threads from veteran 4b relaxed heads with gorgeous hair for inspiration!

 

[Kurlee]

ITA with both of you.
Quiet as its kept there are non-kinkies who have all kinds of issues with their hair too. Plus, there are wavies, straighties, curlies who admire some of the qualities of nappy/kinky hair the same way as some of us envy some of the natural qualities of their hair. My whole life I've had white women admire how thick and soft my hair is and how well it could hold braids and styles, and this was both relaxed, natural and transitioning.
I don't find my hair difficult at all. And the older I get and the more I learn the more effortless my hair care becomes. I can't do everything possible with my hair, but I have fun styles I can experiment with and a regimen that I'm continually streamlining. I have non-black friends that wake up early so they can wash, deep condition, blow dry and flat iron their hair, whereas I just wash and go and still get compliments on my puff.

Its mainly an issue of haircare knowledge and whether you work with your hair, or go the more high maintenance route which requires more TLC for your strands.

I have peeked in ur album before and i'm loving ur hair and congrats on the transition

 

[Kurlee]

Gul, I ain't arguing whicha...just conversing!

And to answer your question, no..I just think you need to keep trying different methods until you find something that works with your hair instead of against it...and you can do that relaxed. Their are tons of 4b women her who relax and have gorgeous hair..some set, others blowdry, others flat iron, other use molecular rollers, etc.

I cannot blow dry my hair at all b/c it looks grainy and frizzy..so I know that doesn't work, but my hair does like to be set..ok that works.

jus wanted to say thanks for not saying conversating (shudders)

 

[blazingthru]

I love my natural hair I agree with you sometimes it does get annoying like one poster said yes I can wash it everday but I can't detangle it I notice all that detangling makes it thinner and so I had to come up with a way to keep my hair clean and moisturized without doing all that detangling. Thats a pain in the neck. Everyone complains about their hair at one point or another no matter what kind of hair you have. Also I believe we were meant to wear crowns and jewels in our hair and so it grows upward some of our mixed heritage makes it flopped down and that annoys me too. I want it as high as I can get it and it flops right down at the wrong moment. But I wouldn't trade my hair for nothing in the world. I can't wait till it gets longer there is so much I want to do. I embrace everything about my hair even the things that annoy me and gets on my nerves, its me. There is nothing any longer fake about me, this is all me and I love it.

 

[poookie]

I am asking do you think that us who relax have some sort of identity crisis or that we hate our hair...

...

 

[aloof one]

I don't want to sound argumentative, but I don't agree with the majority of what the OP said.

It just sounds like you think we as black women are somehow cursed with our hair or something.

You can wash your hair everyday. You don't have to lose your texture if you straighten natural hair. You can maintain healthy relaxed hair for the most part if you are well informed. White people and other types of hair that are non-african have just as many "problems" as we do. Maybe you should learn to accept your hair as apart of your beaty and not a burden... then you will realize there aren't really any cons about it.

 

[krissynick]

Krissy,

Girl if you wanna relax, then relax! I for one, am not part of the "relaxed women hate themselves and their hair" brigade..b/c I have been relaxed for almost 25 years and I don't hate myself or my hair...I just wanna see what's going on underneath the creamy crack..

Seriously though, you seem to be a relatively new poster. Do a search and find some threads from veteran 4b relaxed heads with gorgeous hair for inspiration!

I AM Relaxed and i have been here for awhile...

 

[krissynick]

Krissy,

Girl if you wanna relax, then relax! I for one, am not part of the "relaxed women hate themselves and their hair" brigade..b/c I have been relaxed for almost 25 years and I don't hate myself or my hair...I just wanna see what's going on underneath the creamy crack..

Seriously though, you seem to be a relatively new poster. Do a search and find some threads from veteran 4b relaxed heads with gorgeous hair for inspiration!

And I have lovely hair as well.. I made this blog not to get advice on my hair per say just for ppl opinions on it... black hair itself

 

[krissynick]

I don't want to sound argumentative, but I don't agree with the majority of what the OP said.

It just sounds like you think we as black women are somehow cursed with our hair or something.

You can wash your hair everyday. You don't have to lose your texture if you straighten natural hair. You can maintain healthy relaxed hair for the most part if you are well informed. White people and other types of hair that are non-african have just as many "problems" as we do. Maybe you should learn to accept your hair as apart of your beaty and not a burden... then you will realize there aren't really any cons about it.

Thanks for ur response.. ... I want to say more but i wont.. cause its not gonna get me anywhere...

 

[krissynick]

Question to all? Why when a person questions something about their hair like maybe how it may annoy them sometimes they all of a sudden hate it.. when a person on this blog say on why this and why that.. all of a sudden we dont like our selves.. we want to be like others and blah blalbh... .

Why is that people think that we dont accept who we are? I personally would change it for the world... I just like asking question and reading answers but i jsut find it odd when i do that im dislike some part about me ...

 

[JustKiya]

Hrm.

Anytime change is actively desired/implemented, I assume it's because someone doesn't like the current state of whatever they are trying to change.

I'm trying to lose weight. I'm trying to change my body, because I don't LIKE what it looks like right now. Does that mean I hate me, and I think all them girls in the gym are in denial/hate their 'natural' selves?? No - though I'm sure it's true, for some of them... it just means I don't LIKE it. If I liked my body (plump as it), I wouldn't be trying to change the way it is.

Yeah, I am trying to be like someone else - I'm trying to be like a skinnychick, and ain't no shame in saying that. I can not like some aspect of myself, and still love me.

On the other hand, I LIKE my hair. A lot. You couldn't pay me enough to change it (okay, okay, if there was a pill that instantly gave me hair to my behind, I would be popping that badboy in a heartbeat) but otherwise? I leave it be - taint broken, so I'm not trying to 'fix' it, ya know?

 

[sunnydaze]

And I have lovely hair as well.. I made this blog not to get advice on my hair per say just for ppl opinions on it... black hair itself

okey doke.it was just a thought...well good luck with your hair journey..I'm out!

 

[krissynick]

I understand what u meant OP and as much as I do love my hair, I acknowledge that it takes more of a conscious effort than other hair types. I understand what u were trying to say.

thank god somebody does lol

 

[nappity]

Question to all? Why when a person questions something about their hair like maybe how it may annoy them sometimes they all of a sudden hate it.. when a person on this blog say on why this and why that.. all of a sudden we dont like our selves.. we want to be like others and blah blalbh... .

Why is that people think that we dont accept who we are? I personally would change it for the world... I just like asking question and reading answers but i jsut find it odd when i do that im dislike some part about me ...

You gotta admit- when you start a sentence with "dont you find it funny" and then continue to read your post- that you seem unsatisfied with your hair. You said things like not being able to wash our hair every day (incorrect), and that our hair grows up and not down(incorrect) it does both). And you ask people what they think.. So you hear what they think- and thoughts will not always be what you want to hear. Heck some statements that you stated sounded downright rude- but I'm going to assume that you weren't just like you should assume that noone else is . Wondering about your hair and God poses a hermeneutic question about whether its possible that our creator made a mistake. That'll kick up some feelings. Intended or not- you put our creation and its worthiness on blast. The responses are apropos to your original statement. I don't find it funny that we have the hair we have or the skin we're in. I find it to be a unique blessing Im 44 and I look 33- I have no wrinkle age spots or balding that other races do begin at 30- My GYN says I wont see menopause for at least another decade! It's all good. Yeah I hate detangling my hair- but learned how to do it quickly and effectively once a month. (Right Products, Right Technique)
I didn't respond to your initial post cause I'm so over the "woe is my hair" phase. It may just take you a little more time to learn to deal with what you got. If not do what you think is best- its your hair. I learned so well that people think I'm lying about the true nature of my hair

In defense of nappywomyn, who I admire- she wasn't specifically pointing out to you that you hated your ethnicity because you relax your hair. This board is all about choices. What you may not be receiving is that your topic has been hashed around many times and the bottom line is- unless there are ways to change the shape of your follicles- you got what you have from here till eternity.As soon as you get your products and techniques down and throw away some incorrect assumptions- you'll be fine
Written in the spirit of Love
C

 

[Poohbear]

i gues ur right...i just saysing that even with me having relax hair i cant just wash and go.. i have to do some type of styling for it to be the way i want... i can just blow dry after everywash and put it a ponytaill... if i did i would have major breakage... i mean i guess it all comes down too what u like to do with your hair.... for example... if my hair was naturally straight i could wash it and then let it air dry in a pony tail .. if i do that with mines i dont like the way i looks...

yeah, I couldn't wash and go and just let it airdry when I had relaxed hair eiter. Relaxers alter your natural texture... relaxed straight hair does not act the same as naturally (no chemicals) straight hair, so that's why you will run into that problem. However, some ladies with texturizers can have success with washing and going because there's still some curl pattern in the hair strands. When I had relaxed hair, blowdrying was my friend, airdrying made my hair dry and brittle, so I can definitely relate to you in that aspect.

 

[Poohbear]

Just do add

Just because our hair is kinky does it mean that we should just leave it like that and dont try any other styles.. Look at the many creative hairstyles that have been made ... what would hair care be without them....i agree all hair types go through stress of course but i just think our is on another level..

I agree with the bolded!

I think what some people are trying to say is that there are a lot of Black women working against their hair excessively because of being afraid of their hair looking a certain way that's "not-so-acceptable" to other people (hope that makes sense). Some women will make sure you do not catch them with one area of frizz or nappiness in their hair. And some will do this to the point of causing serious damage or even baldness, and in extreme cases, some may begin to depend on hair weave and wigs excessively as well.

Just have fun with your hair... Don't worry about it not being completely straight or nappy-free.

 

[Poohbear]

Hrm.

I don't know if relaxed folx have an identity crisis - I'm sure some do, and I'm sure some don't, just as I'm sure some nappyheads have identity crisis and others don't.... I judge people on much more than just their hair....
I assume relaxed heads don't like the hair texture growing out of their head - I used to be relaxed, and it's not a pleasant (or goodsmelling) process (my scalp is itching just THINKING about it)- I can't imagine someone going through all that to get rid of something they LIKE.

There's a huge spectrum of emotions between HATE and DISLIKE and LIKE and LOVE - so do I think you hate your natural hair? *shrug* You just said you don't, so I can do nothing but believe you, but I have to believe you dislike it.

Not liking your hair doesn't make it inherently DIFFICULT, though.

Great answer!!!

 

[dynamic1]

OP, I encourage you to visit some other hair forums. You will find women of many different, backgrounds, ethnicities, cultures, hair types, textures, length, etc. Many have the same struggle getting their hair to "do what they think it should" to achieve whatever look or hair goal they desire.

 

[Poohbear]

[/b]
You gotta admit- when you start a sentence with "dont you find it funny" and then continue to read your post- that you seem unsatisfied with your hair. You said things like not being able to wash our hair every day (incorrect), and that our hair grows up and not down(incorrect) it does both). And you ask people what they think.. So you hear what they think- and thoughts will not always be what you want to hear. Heck some statements that you stated sounded downright rude- but I'm going to assume that you weren't just like you should assume that noone else is . Wondering about your hair and God poses a hermeneutic question about whether its possible that our creator made a mistake. That'll kick up some feelings. Intended or not- you put our creation and its worthiness on blast. The responses are apropos to your original statement. I don't find it funny that we have the hair we have or the skin we're in. I find it to be a unique blessing Im 44 and I look 33- I have no wrinkle age spots or balding that other races do begin at 30- My GYN says I wont see menopause for at least another decade! It's all good. Yeah I hate detangling my hair- but learned how to do it quickly and effectively once a month. (Right Products, Right Technique)
I didn't respond to your initial post cause I'm so over the "woe is my hair" phase. It may just take you a little more time to learn to deal with what you got. If not do what you think is best- its your hair. I learned so well that people think I'm lying about the true nature of my hair

In defense of nappywomyn, who I admire- she wasn't specifically pointing out to you that you hated your ethnicity because you relax your hair. This board is all about choices. What you may not be receiving is that your topic has been hashed around many times and the bottom line is- unless there are ways to change the shape of your follicles- you got what you have from here till eternity.As soon as you get your products and techniques down and throw away some incorrect assumptions- you'll be fine
Written in the spirit of Love
C

Another lovely post!!!

 

[SunnyDelight]

I think OP feels attacked for her opinion and I can kinda see that she is. Why can't we be honest and admit that our hair is inherently VERY different than type 1/2 and requires more work. We can't jus shampoo with a any old thing, detangle in 2 mins with no conditioner, air dry and look good. We just can't. We have to condition, moisturize, seal, etc, etc. we cannot jus ignore our hair and have it jus jump from shoulder length to waist in two years. Yes, other hair types have issues, but ours are very unique to us. If we relax we gotta "set it" to make it straight, deep condition, get trims, rollerset, flat iron. If its natural, detangling can be annoying, with hair curling aorund itself and making little knots and the end. reversion with styles, shrinkage. I don't think OP is trying to say our hair is inferior in any way, jeez, shes jus pointing out some of the frustrations!

Aren't we happy to be unique???

God blessed all people (races/nationalities) with a heart, lungs, stomach, arms, legs, noses, ears etc. and so that our hair sets us apart (may be a little more work) and makes us unique is a BLESSING. Of all things that we have to deal with in this walk that we call life, hair is nothing to get frustrated about.

 

[tinkat]

[/B]
You gotta admit- when you start a sentence with "dont you find it funny" and then continue to read your post- that you seem unsatisfied with your hair. You said things like not being able to wash our hair every day (incorrect), and that our hair grows up and not down(incorrect) it does both). And you ask people what they think.. So you hear what they think- and thoughts will not always be what you want to hear. Heck some statements that you stated sounded downright rude- but I'm going to assume that you weren't just like you should assume that noone else is . Wondering about your hair and God poses a hermeneutic question about whether its possible that our creator made a mistake. That'll kick up some feelings. Intended or not- you put our creation and its worthiness on blast. The responses are apropos to your original statement. I don't find it funny that we have the hair we have or the skin we're in. I find it to be a unique blessing Im 44 and I look 33- I have no wrinkle age spots or balding that other races do begin at 30- My GYN says I wont see menopause for at least another decade! It's all good. Yeah I hate detangling my hair- but learned how to do it quickly and effectively once a month. (Right Products, Right Technique)
I didn't respond to your initial post cause I'm so over the "woe is my hair" phase. It may just take you a little more time to learn to deal with what you got. If not do what you think is best- its your hair. I learned so well that people think I'm lying about the true nature of my hair

In defense of nappywomyn, who I admire- she wasn't specifically pointing out to you that you hated your ethnicity because you relax your hair. This board is all about choices. What you may not be receiving is that your topic has been hashed around many times and the bottom line is- unless there are ways to change the shape of your follicles- you got what you have from here till eternity.As soon as you get your products and techniques down and throw away some incorrect assumptions- you'll be fine
Written in the spirit of Love
C

Great post!

 

[Saida]

[/B]
You gotta admit- when you start a sentence with "dont you find it funny" and then continue to read your post- that you seem unsatisfied with your hair. You said things like not being able to wash our hair every day (incorrect), and that our hair grows up and not down(incorrect) it does both). And you ask people what they think.. So you hear what they think- and thoughts will not always be what you want to hear. Heck some statements that you stated sounded downright rude- but I'm going to assume that you weren't just like you should assume that noone else is . Wondering about your hair and God poses a hermeneutic question about whether its possible that our creator made a mistake. That'll kick up some feelings. Intended or not- you put our creation and its worthiness on blast. The responses are apropos to your original statement. I don't find it funny that we have the hair we have or the skin we're in. I find it to be a unique blessing Im 44 and I look 33- I have no wrinkle age spots or balding that other races do begin at 30- My GYN says I wont see menopause for at least another decade! It's all good. Yeah I hate detangling my hair- but learned how to do it quickly and effectively once a month. (Right Products, Right Technique)
I didn't respond to your initial post cause I'm so over the "woe is my hair" phase. It may just take you a little more time to learn to deal with what you got. If not do what you think is best- its your hair. I learned so well that people think I'm lying about the true nature of my hair

In defense of nappywomyn, who I admire- she wasn't specifically pointing out to you that you hated your ethnicity because you relax your hair. This board is all about choices. What you may not be receiving is that your topic has been hashed around many times and the bottom line is- unless there are ways to change the shape of your follicles- you got what you have from here till eternity.As soon as you get your products and techniques down and throw away some incorrect assumptions- you'll be fine
Written in the spirit of Love
C

Good answer

 

[lovenharmony]

OP, I can understand where you're coming from, however, I can understand why some who have answered you seem to get a bit defensive. In your starting post to this thread, your opinions seemed like you were stating FACTS about how we as black people view our hair. Like when you stated "we are not supposed to wash our hair everyday" or "whatever we do to our hair, there is always a con to it". Those statements are not facts and in my opinion, many who have replied to your post are reacting to those statements (whether positively or negatively in your eyes) as a misrepresentation of their beliefs. Just as if someone was spreading rumors or lies on your character, you would want to correct them, and I believe that's what caused you to see their posts as attacks on your opinions. Difficulty of one's hair is subjective.

And to answer your original post, yes my hair can get on my nerves at times, but I will do everything in my power to keep it growing healthy, long and strong whether it be 3, 4 alphabet street, fine, thick, frizzy, etc.

 

[JustKiya]

OP, I can understand where you're coming from, however, I can understand why some who have answered you seem to get a bit defensive. In your starting post to this thread, your opinions seemed like you were stating FACTS about how we as black people view our hair. Like when you stated "we are not supposed to wash our hair everyday" or "whatever we do to our hair, there is always a con to it". Those statements are not facts and in my opinion, many who have replied to your post are reacting to those statements (whether positively or negatively in your eyes) as a misrepresentation of their beliefs. Just as if someone was spreading rumors or lies on your character, you would want to correct them, and I believe that's what caused you to see their posts as attacks on your opinions. Difficulty of one's hair is subjective.

And to answer your original post, yes my hair can get on my nerves at times, but I will do everything in my power to keep it growing healthy, long and strong whether it be 3, 4 alphabet street, fine, thick, frizzy, etc.

Yeah, that so perfectly touches on my feelings - personally, I really don't CARE if 'you' hate your hair *shrug* I'd think it was sad, but hey, I don't have to live inside 'your' head.

I DO have a issue with blanket statements - saying all natural hair is difficult is akin (in my mind) to saying that all black people are destined to have short hair. It's inaccurate, a myth, and (in my mind) really a result of poor technique/understanding/products moreso than an innate part of black hair, and it's a thought process that NEEDS to be iradicated in order for us to move forward.

 

[nappity]

Yeah, that so perfectly touches on my feelings - personally, I really don't CARE if 'you' hate your hair *shrug* I'd think it was sad, but hey, I don't have to live inside 'your' head.

I DO have a issue with blanket statements - saying all natural hair is difficult is akin (in my mind) to saying that all black people are destined to have short hair. It's inaccurate, a myth, and (in my mind) really a result of poor technique/understanding/products moreso than an innate part of black hair, and it's a thought process that NEEDS to be irradicated in order for us to move forward.

Hear hear and let the church say amen!

 

[krissynick]

im not gonna reply to any of the statements made because im not being understood but thank all. my hair is fine.. i have almost apl hair and im lovin it.. i just frustrated sometimes like any other human.. so if you all want to think that i hate myself and go agree and try to make me look bad for jsut posting my opinion( right or wrong go right ahead)........... if that makes u feel good fine....

I really think the real reason ppl are posting stuff to make me look bad cause maybe i said something that offended them... I DO ApOlogize... im not perfect i dont know everything....... but if i say something that offended you say so.. dont jump down my throat and tell me who am and what i need to do.. just casue u mad.. speak up..

 

[krissynick]

OP, I can understand where you're coming from, however, I can understand why some who have answered you seem to get a bit defensive. In your starting post to this thread, your opinions seemed like you were stating FACTS about how we as black people view our hair. Like when you stated "we are not supposed to wash our hair everyday" or "whatever we do to our hair, there is always a con to it". Those statements are not facts and in my opinion, many who have replied to your post are reacting to those statements (whether positively or negatively in your eyes) as a misrepresentation of their beliefs. Just as if someone was spreading rumors or lies on your character, you would want to correct them, and I believe that's what caused you to see their posts as attacks on your opinions. Difficulty of one's hair is subjective.

And to answer your original post, yes my hair can get on my nerves at times, but I will do everything in my power to keep it growing healthy, long and strong whether it be 3, 4 alphabet street, fine, thick, frizzy, etc.

i never said they were facts... thats they whole thing... ppl get mad adn twist my wordssssss.......

 

[krissynick]

OP, I encourage you to visit some other hair forums. You will find women of many different, backgrounds, ethnicities, cultures, hair types, textures, length, etc. Many have the same struggle getting their hair to "do what they think it should" to achieve whatever look or hair goal they desire.

thanks my hair is fine i was just throwing out quesitons... not to offend anyone but i will continue to research thats for sure...