Does Your Man Buy Christmas Gifts?

[SimpleKomplexity]

I really think this is a lesson that all young men should be taught. Christmas is about giving not receiving, and their grown self should contribute. This just gets under my skin. My brother never did this, starting at about 5 my dad my mom taught him that he should get his family members something for Christmas. I was taught the same thing. I used to do lil chores around the house to earn money. I used to earn about $5 I remember and my mom took me to the dollar store. I bought some car air freshener for my brother, Some socks for my daddy, and a vase for my mommy. I learned a valuable lessona bout giving at a early age

NONE OF MY PAST GUY FRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS EVER GIVE GIFTS TO THEIR FAM OR MOM during Christmas. I think it's selfish. I asked my fuy friend the other day what he was going to buy his ma for Christmas. He replied in a lil kid voice kinda, "Nothing, I don't have a job..." I'm thinking in my head, well that's your grown fault. You got time to sleep all day and play video games....you can contribute. Then I thought again, you give blood. Giving blood pays $200 a month. Oh, you can buy yourself a War of Warcraft game, but you can't save that $30 and spend it on someone else, most importantly your mother? I just dun see how this works.

Many guys I've ecountered don't spend money on their mom. I brought it up to my mom, and she says that's a shame and it's gonna makefor a piss po husband one day,but he can be taught. I don't think you should have to teach a man to be unselfish. That has to be taught in the early years. Am I wrong ladies?

I just think how a man treats his mother is how he's gonna treat you. If he's scimpin on things to spend it on himself instead of his own MOTHER....just how would he treat you in the long run?

 

[yokoyokogirl]

NONE OF MY PAST GUY FRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS EVER GIVE GIFTS TO THEIR FAM OR MOM during Christmas. I think it's selfish. I asked my fuy friend the other day what he was going to buy his ma for Christmas. He replied in a lil kid voice kinda, "Nothing, I don't have a job..." I'm thinking in my head, well that's your grown fault. You got time to sleep all day and play video games....you can contribute. Then I thought again, you give blood. Giving blood pays $200 a month. Oh, you can buy yourself a War of Warcraft game, but you can't save that $30 and spend it on someone else, most importantly your mother? I just dun see how this works.

Many guys I've ecountered don't spend money on their mom. I brought it up to my mom, and she says that's a shame and it's gonna makefor a piss po husband one day,but he can be taught. I don't think you should have to teach a man to be unselfish. That has to be taught in the early years. Am I wrong ladies?

I just think how a man treats his mother is how he's gonna treat you. If he's scimpin on things to spend it on himself instead of his own MOTHER....just how would he treat you in the long run?

My ex was like this. He never bought anyone anything after we got married. In the early dating stages he bought lil stuff but as time went on he got cheaper and cheaper. He couldn't even buy me a local newspaper from the airport when he was in the states.

But my current SO sends his mom money every month. She works part time at a hotel, but he said it's not enough to get buy, so he cuts a part of his check out to her--which is amazing to me.

I don't think he buys her xmas present cause it's not big here, but he understands the importance of giving back to those you love.

I think he treats his mom pretty well, so maybe that's good for me.

One thing I don't get is how he can buy a $5,000 tv and want to buy a cheap $50 tv stand to put it on...geez that makes no sense.

 

[lexi84]

I really think this is a lesson that all young men should be taught. Christmas is about giving not receiving, and their grown self should contribute. This just gets under my skin. My brother never did this, starting at about 5 my dad my mom taught him that he should get his family members something for Christmas. I was taught the same thing. I used to do lil chores around the house to earn money. I used to earn about $5 I remember and my mom took me to the dollar store. I bought some car air freshener for my brother, Some socks for my daddy, and a vase for my mommy. I learned a valuable lessona bout giving at a early age

NONE OF MY PAST GUY FRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS EVER GIVE GIFTS TO THEIR FAM OR MOM during Christmas. I think it's selfish. I asked my fuy friend the other day what he was going to buy his ma for Christmas. He replied in a lil kid voice kinda, "Nothing, I don't have a job..." I'm thinking in my head, well that's your grown fault. You got time to sleep all day and play video games....you can contribute. Then I thought again, you give blood. Giving blood pays $200 a month. Oh, you can buy yourself a War of Warcraft game, but you can't save that $30 and spend it on someone else, most importantly your mother? I just dun see how this works.

Many guys I've ecountered don't spend money on their mom. I brought it up to my mom, and she says that's a shame and it's gonna makefor a piss po husband one day,but he can be taught. I don't think you should have to teach a man to be unselfish. That has to be taught in the early years. Am I wrong ladies?

I just think how a man treats his mother is how he's gonna treat you. If he's scimpin on things to spend it on himself instead of his own MOTHER....just how would he treat you in the long run?

Great post OP, however I have to play devil's advocate here. My bros do not have jobs because they are in school full time. Sure they can donate blood to earn some money for Christmas, but their main focus is not on that. I'm not upset that they cannot afford to buy me, our mother, or our father something because I'm just proud of the fact that they are spending what little money they have on books and school related items. Their priorities are right on track!! I cant be mad at that. But when they graduate and get jobs then I'll be happy to show them a nice and looooong Christman list for me!!

Now my man is a different story. He's got a job and he buys for everyone he loves. Nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins, Mom, Dad, and of course me.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

My ex was like this. He never bought anyone anything after we got married. In the early dating stages he bought lil stuff but as time went on he got cheaper and cheaper. He couldn't even buy me a local newspaper from the airport when he was in the states.

But my current SO sends his mom money every month. She works part time at a hotel, but he said it's not enough to get buy, so he cuts a part of his check out to her--which is amazing to me.

I don't think he buys her xmas present cause it's not big here, but he understands the importance of giving back to those you love.

I think he treats his mom pretty well, so maybe that's good for me.

One thing I don't get is how he can buy a $5,000 tv and want to buy a cheap $50 tv stand to put it on...geez that makes no sense.

That is soo sweet!! I've always believed you should help your parents if you can. I mean they raised you for 18 years, it's the least you could do right?

lol and to the bolded, girl men are weird. That tv could be standing on milk crates, and he'd still be happy.

Great post OP, however I have to play devil's advocate here. My bros do not have jobs because they are in school full time. Sure they can donate blood to earn some money for Christmas, but their main focus is not on that. I'm not upset that they cannot afford to buy me, our mother, or our father something because I'm just proud of the fact that they are spending what little money they have on books and school related items. Their priorities are right on track!! I cant be mad at that. But when they graduate and get jobs then I'll be happy to show them a nice and looooong Christman list for me!!

Now my man is a different story. He's got a job and he buys for everyone he loves. Nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins, Mom, Dad, and of course me.

Well I personally think that is balogna. I work a part time job, I'm in school full time, I have extracurricular activities, AND I'm a BIOLOGY major at that. I don't make much money. Just enough for my car note and gas, food, etc. BUT I do make the effort to get something for my parents. I'm not saying big $100 gifts, but I think I man should save wisely and remember Christmas, birthdays and etc. It can be a $5 gift set from walmart, but at least he put thought behind it. It's all about the thought behind it. I think that not giving at all is sort of selfish and childish, becuase you KNOW they're expecting something under that tree, so why not give also?

 

[lexi84]

Well I personally think that is balogna. I work a part time job, I'm in school full time, I have extracurricular activities, AND I'm a BIOLOGY major at that. I don't make much money. Just enough for my car note and gas, food, etc. BUT I do make the effort to get something for my parents. I'm not saying big $100 gifts, but I think I man should save wisely and remember Christmas, birthdays and etc. It can be a $5 gift set from walmart, but at least he put thought behind it. It's all about the thought behind it. I think that not giving at all is sort of selfish and childish, becuase you KNOW they're expecting something under that tree, so why not give also?

LOL, well last year they found random stuff around the house and wrapped it up and put it under the tree. We thought it was funny.

But I think we share a different opinion simply because in our house we dont focus so much on gifts but more on sharing love and just being together. My mom taught us early on that Jesus is the reason for the season and the gifts that we MAY get are just a little added bonus....we have learned that gifts arent the main focus of Christmas. But thats just in my house. I dont know what goes on in other people's houses.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

LOL, well last year they found random stuff around the house and wrapped it up and put it under the tree. We thought it was funny.

But I think we share a different opinion simply because in our house we dont focus so much on gifts but more on sharing love and just being together. My mom taught us early on that Jesus is the reason for the season and the gifts that we MAY get are just a little added bonus....we have learned that gifts arent the main focus of Christmas. But thats just in my house. I dont know what goes on in other people's houses.

That is jus toooo kute! I understand where you coming from too, Jesus is the reason for the season!

 

[Coffee]

My hubby always buys gifts for all of his family, his niece and my niece, and of course me. He listens to what I say I would like and usually doesn't forget. This Xmas, he had a small Xmas tree decorated in the family room, with a big santa bag full of the things I said I wanted! He buys for Valentines day for me and his Mom. I have a keeper!!

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

My hubby always buys gifts for all of his family, his niece and my niece, and of course me. He listens to what I say I would like and usually doesn't forget. This Xmas, he had a small Xmas tree decorated in the family room, with a big santa bag full of the things I said I wanted! He buys for Valentines day for me and his Mom. I have a keeper!!

You do have a keeper!! I guess I have a problem with the no gift giving because it's a signal of stiginess and stubborness to me. People who don't even make a effort to buy/make SOMETHING for their family members are selfish to me. They claim they are broke, in school, in recession, but they still have their hands out expecting to receive something. I feel like they are stingy with their money, and have not been taught it is better to give than receive. I mean if you don't go gift giving for your family, I wonder what do you do for your heavenly father. Do you tithe? If we were to date or marry, would you sacrifice something you wanted for something we needed? I think gift giving is a tell tale sign on how a man will treat you in a relationship

 

[DarkHair]

EVERY year for the last 7 years, my DH has done last minute shopping(Christmas Eve). This year, he didn't have time to go shopping for me. I didn't mind though. I was more fixated on giving. With this being our first year, and with the rough economy, I am not as mad as I used to be.

He bought me gifts today and I am getting more when he gets home in an hour. He's a great man, with bad timing, but its okay.

 

[mnemosyne]

My SO always shops for his parents, his extended fam, my parents and me. I do the same.