Does Your Friends' Opinion of Your new Beau Make or Break him?

[foxxymami]

If your friends didn't like a guy that you were starting to get serious with, would you take their opinions into consideration? Here's a scenario: You have been good or best friends for 10 years. A guy comes along that treats you like a queen and it's looking good. You're crazy about him. But your friend CANNOT stand him!!

Would you seriously consider breaking up with him?

 

[caribeandiva]

No i would not listen to my friends. i learned from experience not to do that. My instincts are worth more than anything they have to tell me. Besides all i have to do is look at their messed up relationships to see that they don't know what they're talking about.

 

[coconow2007]

Not sure - I would ask my good/best friend what she dislikes about him? Sometimes good feelings and/or love can trick u into thinking everything is ok with the guy u r with - having a friend who truly has ur back may make u really see what u have. The emphasizes is on having a friend who truly has ur back - because if this friends is a secret 'hater' or just plain 'ole' negative her opinions may not be worth it.

 

[foxxymami]

I don't think it would make me break up with him. I think it would bother me though. I'd be constantly setting up get-togethers so they can all "play nice" and forge a friendship or at least some common ground

 

[bLackButtaFly]

If it's warranted criticisms of him I would take that into consideration, but otherwise i would chalk it up as not everybody is going to get along. If your man or your friend starts to want the other one out of your life then it would be more of a problem. I definitely wouldn't break up w/ anyone b/c my friend didn't like him.

 

[tatje]

No I do not listen to my friends. Family yes. But when it comes to friends, I never really listened. I don't know why. Yet I have a friend who will ask and if I give her a negative opinion, then it's over. I will just be like why is that, and she will say something along the lines of it being true, or some ridiculousness ( I know, not a word).

I don't think she should listen to me or what other say really since I don't really know since I'm not in it, but she asked.

 

[cocoberry10]

If your friends didn't like a guy that you were starting to get serious with, would you take their opinions into consideration? Here's a scenario: You have been good or best friends for 10 years. A guy comes along that treats you like a queen and it's looking good. You're crazy about him. But your friend CANNOT stand him!!

Would you seriously consider breaking up with him?

I would have to wonder if all of these things were true about him WHY my friend did not like him. I think my friends are level-headed like me, and the only reason they would not like a guy I like is because he was CRAZY (at least that’s what I think now)!

 

[FlowerHair]

Yes, I would listen to a few of my really good friends. If they didn't like him at all, I would question my judgement...

 

[yodie]

No, their bad opinions would not make me get rid of him.

I have good judgement, so I know I wouldn't wind up with a loser.

In addition to that, I try to keep friends out of my business. Sometimes they hate for invalid reasons.

OT: I soooo want a piece of cornbread right now. I don't know what's going on with my cravings. I better get to bed.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Yes but mainly family (which I also consider my friends). I believe wisdom listens to wisdom...

I would listen to my family. When you're star-struck, you often dont see the warning signs. Its VERY important for my family and friends to get along with my beau because I spend alot of time with them. In my family, you must fit. Doesnt mean you have to be perfect of course just fit because we like to have fun with cool people. If you're not cool, you get the boot.

 

[Britt]

To some extent... YES

It depends on whose opinion though. I have a friend that is very intuitive and pretty on point and I also know her opinion would not come from a place of malice, jealousy, etc.... Last week, I straight up asked her what does she think of my SO, does she sense any 'craziness' or anything like that in him. She's only been around him twice, and she said he looks googly over me, that could be b/c she met him early on when he probably looked like that over me. She also picked up something that she was on point about.. she said he looks like he would snap and plays no games.. She hit the nail ont he bullseye with that and that's not something I talk to her about. She also told me she can tell he loves me even when I questioned whether or not he did.

Now, her opinion I value highly .. but everyone's opinion of him would not matter to me as much. Though my mom told me he had a big forehead and I felt kinda played erplexed ... that's just her superficial opinion.

I think our loved ones can see things that we may not particularly see or want to see, so yes, I do value certain people's opinions of my SO.

 

[Kerryann]

I would not get rid of him at all your friend is not the onne in the relationship its you and im sure at a point u will know if he is for you or not
Ur friend could possibly like the guy i've seen this numerous times
She/He can also be looking out for your best interest
Could just be a hater because your relationship is popping lol

it could be so many different reasons but once a friend tells u they dont like your mate and the reasons no matter what u will always have that in the back of your mind looking for what she/he is talking about

 

[calmsensual1]

It depends on if theyre good friends or not and whether they're hatin friends AND whether or not they have good judgement.

I dont have very many friends like this right now so the answer is no. for now.

 

[balancegoals2009]

No , I from the old school , the reason I said that I listen to my friends and found out she was the person with the issues, I learned from experience, many people are jealousy of what you have. As for family it depends on the person and my relationship with them, but friends NO.

 

[Encore]

Taken into consideration but never the only basis...i realized when they hated a guy I was with, they had every reason to and because i was blinded by "lust" i couldnt see past his BS smoke screen. They did veryyy clearly and when I done had it and the "lust" goggles came off it was very apparent I needed to make my exit!

 

[Nayna]

Not anymore. Some people don't or can't understand certain dynamics of your relationship. We women, we tend to run to our friends and complain when our men do something dumb or inconsiderate but we don't always run and tell when he does something nice because sometimes people think your bragging. So sometimes your friends hear only the negative. And if they only hear negative things about someone how can they like him?

Some friends can also be dealing with their own issues so they don't give objective views. For example a good friend of mine is in a "relationship" with a guy that never cut off his first relationship, and she has baby with him. He's a bum, and a mooch, and just an all around loser. I don't take any opinions or advice from her ever. My other close friend is like me, I don't give any opinions until I've been around them for a while or at least until u paint a real picture good, bad and ugly. My other good friend, bless her heart but no, she's territorial and generally doesn't like anyone I'm with.

 

[Jade Feria]

Nope, doesn't matter what they think. For the majority of my friends, I rarely have issues with them liking the guys I date anyway, because they're not the types of people to be all up in a guy's grill analyzing our compatibility. I let them do them and they let me do me. It's the best! I do have ONE friend, though, who seems to have had a problem with just about every serious bf I've had. AND she gives me her (unwanted, unneeded) advice. The same advice that lands her in Break-upville. No thank you.

 

[Spongie Bloom]

When I was a teen unfortunately yes and I learnt my lesson Now not anymore if I like him then thats all that matters to me

 

[MrsHdrLe]

If she don't call me crying in the middle of the night asking me to pick her up 'cause he's trippin, then I guess they're cool and she'll figure it out. Who am I to protect her from a life lesson and developing into the type of grown woman who can stand up for her self? I'll just be there with a box of tissues when she needs me.

 

[ladysaraii]

It would depend on who the friend is and what her reasons are. Sometimes friends and family can see things that you cant. If it's just a personality conflict btwn the two, then no.

 

[YankeeCandle]

No, their opinion would not sway me an inch.

Unfortunately, I have never a met a person (including close friends) whose understanding of the world and other people equaled the tremendously nuanced, observant, and socially agile sense of judgment that I and my siblings were socialized into by our subtle and razor-sharp mother.

Most people are not magically born with nuanced and observant senses of judgment; they have to develop it in reaction to their environment and circumstances and to the people close to them.

As someone socialized into this sense of "good" judgment, and as someone who always looks at the glass half-empty, pours out more water, and then looks at it almost completely empty just to further test the situation, I already have my own built-in system of checks-and-balances that has, blessedly, never failed me in all my life.

I would of course run my SO's traits by my mother and siblings, but only because I have confirmed that they have a superior sense of other people and a superb understanding of human behavior that most people sadly do not.

The thought of relying on my friends' judgment literally gives me a chill. Absolutely not!

 

[bellebebe]

I dont really care but if they like him, more power to them.

 

[Filmatic]

As I got older yes. My friends know me VERY well so they will know if we mesh well. They can also sniff out a skunk a mile away.