Does This Happen?

[w332]

Are there really men out there who go to GREAT lengths to use women? As in fly them around the world and wine and dine them? Even when they don't have a lot of money? Just to break things off with them later?

I am just curious. I really don't know that much about men (I married my first real boyfriend and college sweetheart, but we got divorced).

 

[*CherryPie*]

Yes...In the movies.

 

[w332]

That's what I thought!

So what would you think if a man made plans to spend time with a woman in Europe (let's say 3 trips were planned) . . . and he invested his money and time off work in planning and going on the trips . . . but after the 2nd trip he told the woman he didn't want to be in a committed relationship (after previously telling her he did and that the purpose of the trips was to move towards a serious relationship).

Now there is 1 more trip left, and of course the woman does not want to go after hearing he doesn't want a serious relationship. Now he's angry he invested money in the trip.

The whole thing seems weird to me. If I were a man, I would never spend money on someone I was not seriously interested in.

 

[Almaz]

Yeah it happens in real life too but usually they find someone younger better whatever. BUT if he is flying her around wining and dining her she is getting the benefits of free meals and free travel. If it is not clear what the relationship is and its just for a good time don't be suprised if he dumps you.

As a former UN brat I saw diplomats world leaders and their sons do this all the time. I would try to warn the girls to get what they can like okay if he is buying you jewelry sell it to finance your education. If he is giving you and allowance don't spend it on Gucci bank it for when he drops you you are going to be cut off. if he is paying for you apartment don't get a place that you cannot afford on your own cause when he drops you you will have to move. If he lets you use a credit card take cash advances and put it in another bank account so when he drops you you will have money in the bank.

Some listened one girl well middle aged woman now used the money to finish nursing school and invest in apartment buildings. The others that did not listen well they talk about the good times they had back in the day whilst living regular. The others that DID listen used that money to better themselves to be around better men with more money and they ended up marrying some of those guys and never looked back. yeah it happens in real life. But its on a certain level from what I have seen your average guy does not have the resources to fly women around the world and wine and dine them

 

[Almaz]

She acted to hastily to believe this in the first place someone wanted to move that fast that soon I am weary cause the quickest they can pick you up the more quicker they will drop you. She did not think of that did she. I would have turned the tables and said Who says that we are in a committed relationship I was enjoyiing the trip Tis all

That's what I thought!

So what would you think if a man made plans to spend time with a woman in Europe (let's say 3 trips were planned) . . . and he invested his money and time off work in planning and going on the trips . . . but after the 2nd trip he told the woman he didn't want to be in a committed relationship (after previously telling her he did and that the purpose of the trips was to move towards a serious relationship).

Now there is 1 more trip left, and of course the woman does not want to go after hearing he doesn't want a serious relationship. Now he's angry he invested money in the trip.

The whole thing seems weird to me. If I were a man, I would never spend money on someone I was not seriously interested in.

 

[PeaceFlow]

I don't hear that many stories about huge trips, but there are enough guys that will splash out on presents, flowers and fancy restaurants even though they don't want anything serious.

 

[w332]

^^^That baffles me too. I'd NEVER waste my money like that. But then, I guess that's because I'm a woman, not a man.

 

[DarkJoy]

Yes they do. Generally, though, I've witnessed/heard it from women who have dated men with REAL money. Like millionaires. The men like the companionship and arm candy. Period. After the whirlwind is over and they are board it's on to the next.

be wary--dont make this a lifestyle unless you're really a good planner and can sell the gifts and save the cash. I know an older WW who spent her 20's-40s as international arm-candy. Well, now, of course in her 50s she is living below regular (didnt save the cash from the rich dudes!), sick, with some lameass BF and cant even pay her rent...

 

[SmileyNY]

Yes they do. I had a 10 month... relationship? Not really, but whatever lol... with a man who loved to travel with me, buy gifts, pay bills... the whole 9! I learned the hard way after 10 months that he had no intentions of making any real commitment. That was my first situation after a 5 year relationship, so I didn't know any better. I learned my lesson, though. I never wasted my time like that again.

Ironically... this same guy has come out of the woodwork and has been trying to get me to begin dating him again since early January! He says he's a different man now. Who cares!! I'm with someone who is worth my time and it ain't him!

 

[w332]

^^^ Go girl! That's great. I don't blame you for never looking back!

BTW, how long did it take him to come back? I'm curious. There's a theory out there that says it takes a man 8 weeks to come back after a break up (if he wants the relationship)...I hate to say it, but it feels good when they come back and you get a chance to reject them (usually after they initially rejected you! It's happened 2 times to me-including with my ex-husband...but the memory of the bad times were too strong to take him back).

 

[Nayna]

I won't say I had a guy go to great lengths but he did wine, dine and buy me ish only to try and get me to lease a Range Rover in my name for him, lol. Or he would break me off with money just because. I think he wanted me to see he had money and could afford the payments. Idk. Either way he did not last long and I never felt he had real intentions on being with me.

 

[SmileyNY]

^^^ Go girl! That's great. I don't blame you for never looking back!

BTW, how long did it take him to come back? I'm curious. There's a theory out there that says it takes a man 8 weeks to come back after a break up (if he wants the relationship)...I hate to say it, but it feels good when they come back and you get a chance to reject them (usually after they initially rejected you! It's happened 2 times to me-including with my ex-husband...but the memory of the bad times were too strong to take him back).

He popped up asking for dates after almost 2 years!! TBH, we never completely lost touch. He would text me here and there to check in. Holidays, my birthday, at random times. I never contact him first.... ever. I haven't intentionally met up with him since we stopped seeing each other. I saw him at a mutual friend's bday party a few months after we "broke up" and I ran into him at happy hour last summer.

 

[Zaynab]

Are there really men out there who go to GREAT lengths to use women? As in fly them around the world and wine and dine them? Even when they don't have a lot of money? Just to break things off with them later?

I am just curious. I really don't know that much about men (I married my first real boyfriend and college sweetheart, but we got divorced).

Yes there actually are. They think the perks of trips, nice dinners etc is compensation for the lack of commitment. Plus a man with the resources to do that doesn't care because he knows the next woman will eat it up. And not press for a commitment. Those types of men just want to "have fun" and someone to spend it with. Even though a man doesn't want a commitment he still wants companionship

 

[pearcey]

doesn't it just depend on the culture financial bracket?

if you are making $500,000.00 a year, that person's idea of a "casual" outing is much more opulent than someone making, say, $18,000.00 a year.

I think some [women AND men] may see material items, and lavish trips as some marker simply because they are not used to it.

you would not cry a river once you got dumped after a few dates to a steakhouse, so why would you feel any differently if you got dumped after a few dates which included lavish outfits, a gala event, and a gift-bag of goodies.

It seems you should more be thinking [ebonics.com i know i know] of why you are equating the value of a "possible" relationship based on material possessions...

I LURVE these topics!!!!!