Does anybody else feel lonely IRL on this hair journey?

[Tiffalicious]

Yes, and if I hear that, "when are you gonna get a perm question one more time", I really am going to scream. What's funny is that my girl cousins who are asking me this have the most over processed, chewed up ends, damaged, stay at shoulder length forever hair. NONE of them have thick, at least APL hair. I just look at them and think, "What has a relaxer done for YOU that I should run out and get my hair relaxed?

Yeah I know what you mean. It's like either their ends are all chewed up or they have in these ratty glued in weaves. Then they look at me and try to tell me what I'm doing wrong. Even though I retained way more hair this past year than they did in the last 5.

 

[4evershika]

Interesting topic!

Sometimes, I do. My best friend started her HHJ around the same time that I did but she chose to go natural (she had already been transitioning for almost a year and just recently did her BC, yay!) whereas I decided to stay relaxed. Even tho she's natural and I'm relaxed, we still talk about hair ALL the time and support each other, give each other advice, etc.

But sometimes it get's "lonely" in other ways because we're both opinionated.

She chooses to use all natural products (and STRICTLY stays away from all chemicals that cannot be pronounced and are not naturally derived) whereas I'm not quite as strict on my ingredients as long as the products work well. So I can't really go to her and say "Hey, A., try this and tell me what you think..." because she's all like "What's in it? What are the ingredients? DMDM Hydantoin? Uh uh...." or even some of my methods she'll turn her nose up at (at times). We even differ on our HAIR BOARD opinions... she's a Naturally Curly girl and I'm here... etc. So sometimes, even tho we are on the HHJ together, I feel like I'm all alone.

But I'm grateful that I at least have someone who listens (even tho she might not agree) and someone to learn new things from.

 

[MizAvalon]

Sometimes. Most black women that I know are pretty indifferent about their hair. The only people I can talk to about it in depth are you guys.

 

[trendybosschicebz]

Yep, Ive been feeling that way ALOT lately. Not because of the lack of support but because I feel that my progress has been extremely slow and I'm nstarting to think that apl is unattainable and bsl is nothing but a dream. I was going to make a thread about it, maybe that will make me feel better. Then it doesn't help when I come on here and people's hair is growing like weeds. I'm happy for them, just sad for myself.

 

[Day Dreamer]

I do not have anyone either. I just started this journey but where I am from everyone goes to the salon and I do mean everyone. I have no one to share my ups and downs with and to make it worse my DH thinks its ok what I am doing but he pays no attention to this.

It does get real lonely most of the time.

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

The bolded had me , I can visually see it.

And what your sister said was really mean. How is her hair? She must be Pocahontas or something to be that bold.

And I totally get you about the cell phone thing. It would be great to share experiences and progress with someone in real life. But I honestly believe I will have to be about MBL before people are interested, but will I still be interested in helping these same people?

Lol, it was pretty funny the way that they were laughing.

And at the time, she had the longest hair out of all of us, except my mother. It was APL and really thick, and mine was a thin, scraggly shoulder. It doesn't sound like much now, but then, she was pretty much Pocahantas and the house authority on hair.
She's lost her throne since, because a scissors happy stylist took her back to shoulder and it's been a struggle to grow it back out. I try to offhandedly give her some advice, because her hair is really important to her, but she won't listen, so it stays where it is.

:angeldevi I can't lie though....I'm not sorry for her.


Girl..that's the million dollar question.
Will you help the same people who tried to shut you down previously?
I'll probably help any of my family who ask because they are my family.
But other folks?
Nope. Nopee, you had your chance. Nope.
I might tell them about LHCF though.

 

[LaToya28]

It would be nice to have someone IRL to talk to about hair, but I don't necessarily feel lonely. I'm a SAHM and my hair is something that I don't have to share with anyone else! It's my way of pampering myself.

 

[Chevelure618]

I'm sorry but what is IRL?

 

[hairaboutit]

My family is supportive and although they may not be all that interested they will listen w/o trying to discourage me. I guess I don't really get lonely b/c I'm so excited at seeing results.

Consider this~ "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to (hair) destruction, and many enter through it." We may be walking a narrow path but it will be w/ all of our long, luxurious, hair!

 

[QueenLexy]

Well I don't feel alone on my hhj because I take of my mom's hair for her which means I will only use healthy hair practices on her hair plus my bf supports and he also is interested in healthy hair.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

nope. i have my mom on my journey with me; she is transitioning to natural again also. she is behind me 100%. i know its partly because she doesn't have to put up with my crap anymore. in my teens, i would just wash with shampoo, and thought condish was optional so i would be cryin and screamin when i detangled, and eventually fall out and yell and cry and scream for her to help me please. yeah i know, i needed a whuppin. so i know she is glad she doesn't have to put up with that anymore. another things is she's proud that i'm learning how to take care of my hair and she particularly likes how well i can rollerset and flatiron now. sometimes she'll come up while i'm doin my hair and say 'aw, look at my baby doin her hair! i'm so proud of you!' so i don't feel lonely at all. i talk to her about hair stuff all the time. ♥

 

[pringe]

in real life

 

[ceebee3]

Yep, Ive been feeling that way ALOT lately. Not because of the lack of support but because I feel that my progress has been extremely slow and I'm nstarting to think that apl is unattainable and bsl is nothing but a dream. I was going to make a thread about it, maybe that will make me feel better. Then it doesn't help when I come on here and people's hair is growing like weeds. I'm happy for them, just sad for myself.

Oh, don't feel like that. Your hair is very pretty. You'll be APL before you know it. It just takes time.

I think we all feel this way at times.

 

[sqzbly1908]

My sister is Rasta (dreds) and my mom is natural ...but during times that we were ALL relaxed ...they would have be SO on this board...I sometimes wish that I had someone to talk to...my MIL sometimes makes off tha' wall comments (i.e. yt girl hair, u must be takin' vitamins, etc...)

At this point, I can do bad by myself as no one can relate but my cyber-siblings on this board!

 

[Angel of the North]

I don't really have any friends who are serious about the health/mantainence of their hair but they are all regulars at the salon, I see them get jacked up on a regular too, too much heat, over/under processed hair, colouring and relaxing on the same day with some catastrophic consequences. Even before I started my healthy hair journey, they would aways compliment me on my hair and tell me how lucky I am because my hair grows (as if theirs doesn't) and compliment how healthy my hair looks but they are just not willing to to put in the work or cannot find the time. So unless I'm asked or I really feel someone can benefit from something, I generally keep the hair practices on this board, My mum thinks I'm obsessed and I have a male best friend who indulges me in my moments of excitement but I know most of it goes over his head, however he is supportive of my hair journey and does commen on the progress I am making on both the length and condition of my hair

The time and hard work you put into your hair is what's got it looking so pretty, when and not if your hair gets to MBL, I'm sure they'll all be up in your regimen, and wanting all those good tips of yours!

 

[teacherjess]

Yep, Ive been feeling that way ALOT lately. Not because of the lack of support but because I feel that my progress has been extremely slow and I'm nstarting to think that apl is unattainable and bsl is nothing but a dream. I was going to make a thread about it, maybe that will make me feel better. Then it doesn't help when I come on here and people's hair is growing like weeds. I'm happy for them, just sad for myself.

I know just how you feel. I have a lot of those days. APL is actually my long term goal b/c I ain't NEVA seen anything even remotely close to that my whole life...but most days I feel like it won't happen. I've had to switch my primary goal now to hair health instead of focusing (obsessing?) on length. I'm a slow grower.When I first started on this journey, my ends were jacked up, I had a broke- off patch, I flatironed daily, and wouldn't have known a deep conditioner if it walked up and slapped me.
When I compare those days to now, I've made a lot of progress. I keep telling myself if I keep on keeping on with the routine, in a few short years I'll have something wonderful~ maybe even have reached my goal and be on my way to the next. Remember, Rome was not built in a day.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

awww, i know what your talking about, some of my family is the same way, thats why i stoped talking to them about hair, even when they ask. no point. they are still stuck in the mindset that blacks cant grow hair. so i am alone.

 

[Mz.MoMo5235]

*raises hand* i do

 

[I Am So Blessed]

I know just how you feel. I have a lot of those days. APL is actually my long term goal b/c I ain't NEVA seen anything even remotely close to that my whole life...but most days I feel like it won't happen. I've had to switch my primary goal now to hair health instead of focusing (obsessing?) on length. I'm a slow grower.When I first started on this journey, my ends were jacked up, I had a broke- off patch, I flatironed daily, and wouldn't have known a deep conditioner if it walked up and slapped me.
When I compare those days to now, I've made a lot of progress. I keep telling myself if I keep on keeping on with the routine, in a few short years I'll have something wonderful~ maybe even have reached my goal and be on my way to the next. Remember, Rome was not built in a day.

it will happen, i use to feel the same way. i use to be called baldy lo. its true. i never had not hair when i was younger not even the average black girl length wich is NL. and now look, i passed most of my goals. im glad i learned about protien and aphogee and i did not even belong to a hair board, i just wanted long hair bad enuff that i did my own search and followed my own rules that made sence to me.

 

[Toy]

I feel lonely on this hair journey,I do have 1 friend who is on it with me but she falls off the wagon alot other than U ladies i am alone.

 

[KBA]

I do not have many people on this journey with me IRL, that's why I'm thankful for this Forum.

 

[MizzCoco]

Yes, its lonely. My mom is kind of with me, but even her eyes glaze over a bit when I go too far into it. My friends make fun of me, and ask when am I gonna take that ugly bun down and do my hair...I just stay quiet and get my hair fix on LHCF and Youtube. I wish I had a HHJ buddy IRL, but I guess once I'm mid-back I'll get some company!

 

[WantNatural]

I agree. It is lonely. I talk my family to death and they endure it because they love me, but they don't understand. And although they have all been supportive of my BC I know they still don't get it. We visited DH's family today and they couldn't believe I cut all my hair off. They didn't even really understand what I meant when I told them that I decided to transition back to my natural texture. So I'm back on LHCF and Youtube to get my fix and hear from other ladies who are going through the same journey that I am!

 

[BostonMaria]

IRL I have my sister and we both went natural together. I even did her BC. We've been so busy lately though and I haven't been able to talk to her about this in a while. She just had a baby so the last thing on her mind is hair.

My 20 yr old DD listens to me when I talk about hair. She is learning now and she comes over every weekend so I can rollerset her hair. I'm trying to teach my stepdaughter & youngest daughter how to do their own hair so I talk to them about it, they run from me at this point LOL They say I'm obsessed ahahaha

At work... nobody really. I think that IRL people want a quick fix. Kinda like me trying to get a quick fix with dieting when the reality is I need to stop eating so much and start exercising.

 

[SmilingElephant]

Well...i talk to my sister alot about my hair journey...even though she's natural and i'm relaxed...but lately i feel like she's not interested in helping me with my length checks...but i love when she asks me to tug on her coils to see what her length is stretched

But hey...one thing i am loving about this hair journey is that it teaches you how to be your own person. How to say what you like and don't like and what you do and don't do. it makes you stronger and it keeps you motivated...and as you reach milestones...it adds points to your self-esteem

So keep it up gurlie!! Your hair is gorgeous already! And when you hit MBL...you can slap them with your hair! LOL!!!

 

[exoticmommie]

Thank goodness for LHCF. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you ladies. The motivation and seeing others progress pictures is so great and inspirational. I am glad that I do have a place to go and talk. And I can't wait to get to MBL so I can start slapping faces, , but I am just trying to get to APL.
So many hair Divas on this board it's like I am just trying to get halfway to where you are. But I am glad that all the ladies who feel like I do, can come here and learn and get away, and talk with people who understand and 'obsess' like we do. But in truth it really does take patience and dedication, which can be seen as an obsession. I believe that the hardest part is the beginning which takes the most time and dedication, and it's not gonna be like that for your whole hair journey. But most don't want to put in the time for something that they don't believe can happen anyway.

 

[SmilingElephant]

Hey ladies....ever notice ho when you started your hair journey and tried to share your goals with others.....they didn't think you were serious or that your plans would backfire?

And then when you start showing some progress the hardcore haters say you're obsessed? Even when you got it down to a pretty simple regimen?

Why do ppl act like that?

 

[exoticmommie]

Hey ladies....ever notice ho when you started your hair journey and tried to share your goals with others.....they didn't think you were serious or that your plans would backfire?

And then when you start showing some progress the hardcore haters say you're obsessed? Even when you got it down to a pretty simple regimen?

Why do ppl act like that?

and let the church say, yeah! Share some stories.

Even though it has not happened to me, I believe that is why some ladies said I can do bad all by myself. I really don't understand it. That is why you probably have people thinking some are stuck up when they ask their hair practices and they don't bother to share. They will just get labeled obsessed. All it is, is dedication, and once you get to where you want to be it's simple maintaining.

 

[NYAmicas]

Strangely enough, no. And I had the same friends with short, dry broken hair making fun of my cowashes or hair products too. I think I never let anyone deter me because I had had a good length of hair before without even trying before it broke off due to highlights. I knew I wanted very long, healthy hair and I dove in and had fun with it when I first started actively posting on the board.

 

[washize]

yeah I know what you mean. I only have white freinds, and when I say my hair has grown they kinda just look at me like "yeah right" becuase I don't striaghten my hair and i have so much shrinkage. My mom and my sisters noticie my hair chaning and growing, and every time I tell them to come on this site, they always make up some excuse, and say that they can't do what I do because, they need relaxers to take care of their hair.

IT would just be nice to meet someone in real life that was growing their AA hair too.