Does anybody else feel lonely IRL on this hair journey?

[exoticmommie]

I use to be able to talk to my mom and my sisters (I still kinda can with one of my sisters but she is very very busy so I barely talk to her anymore). I was happy to be on a hair journey with them. But now they aren't interested anymore. I believe that they were thinking that 1, their hair would grow over night, and 2,that they could put very little work in and have the same progress I had. But I put a lot of work in. Unless your hair is already in good condition (which mine was not), you will have to put a lot of work in. I keep trying to tell them that once they get there they can take it easy after that. My mom does be tired a lot, because of work. She told me she hasn't done anything to her hair in 3 weeks. I tried to tell her a few little things to do a while back and she wasn't interested. I heard my dad in the background say something about washing her hair more often, and washing every 2-3 days, and she said "well you need to go get you a white girl!!" I was like but mom I was my hair that often.

Another reason I don't believe they are interested anymore is because they don't believe my hair will get any longer than this. I told my mom I am aiming for midback length and she just laughed, one of those big A-HA-HA!! laughs.

And my other sister eventually just told me she will believe that what I am doing is worth it when my hair gets mbl which in her words means, ain't gonna happen.

I don't talk to my friends because they don't ask. One of my friends hair is very long but far from healthy and I know she would look at me like I had a third eye if I were to bring up hair talk. Like "you talking to me?" She has complimented my hair but that to me is not an invitation to start talking hair.

DH has been a trooper and has been tolerating it since I don't have anyone else now. Don't know how long that will last.


Soooo, does anyone else feel lonely In Real Life on this hair journey?

 

[Ronnieaj]

Kinda, but moreso because me and my friend's methods are different, and she is so sure that hers is better that she thinks my hair won't grow at all. She uses weaves as a protective style, which is fine but I don't like full weaves (pieces yes, full weaves no, just my preference). I keep my hair twisted and off my neck or bunned up with a piece on it to hide the baggy .

I don't think her method is bad at all, especially seeing the results here , but that certainly doesn't mean my method is bad or inferior. As a result, I'd rather just not talk about it.

My mom doesn't want to hear what I have to say (like she should deep condition and use a heavier leave-in if her gray hair is really coarse), but wants to steal all my products. Whatever. So I talk to the ladies here about my journey, and my poor boo, whose just stuck with me .

 

[Chevelure618]

My hair's made amazing progress but my SO just kind of looks when I say how I think my hiar is really growing.

I have such shrinkage that at 13 weeks, if I just walk around the house with my hair out it is just shoulder length. I start to get discouraged myself and so I start feeling and measuring the NG...so sad.

 

[theprototype]

I feel alone.

Most of my friends are non-Black, so needless to say their hair-experience is completely different than mine.

My black friends are faithful salon goers, or wash&greasers and don't really believe there's any other way. My hair has always been long (by their standards) so any growth I get isn't considered a surprise.

 

[MrsHdrLe]

I just come here to hair share b/c no one is trying to hear what I'm saying. I did have one convert though, but I haven't seen her 'round these parts lately ("Dirtyd, Donde estas?")

 

[MsSonya]

Yes. My Mom just had to trim her "what she considers long" (between sl-barely apl) to almost neck length. Her hair is very thin and you can see her scalp, her hair was breaking when she touches it and she was on her way to get a relaxer. Well, after "telling"(yelling) to her that that wasnt a good idea...all broke loose. I was called a white girl for washing my hair so much, got critized for trying to go natural. I told her to mention a protein treatment instead. Well. she did and the "stylist" agreed. I didnt get any credit for it, but the self satisfaction was great. I am on my own little journey to see how long I can grow my hair. Needless, to say I am glad to say I found the hair boards!

 

[beans4reezy]

I feel you Op. When I started my hhj, I had a couple of cousins who were on the bandwagon with me. After a couple of deep conditioning treatments, when they didn't wake up with hair like Repunzel's they gave up. Now they laugh at me when I go hard with mine.

Thankfully, I have my sister who is really enouraging, so I am not completely alone, but it does get kind of lonely for me on this journey.

 

[Evo-ny]

I feel alone.

Most of my friends are non-Black, so needless to say their hair-experience is completely different than mine.

My black friends are faithful salon goers, or wash&greasers and don't really believe there's any other way. My hair has always been long (by their standards) so any growth I get isn't considered a surprise.

Aww, I'm in the same situation you are in! Iwish I had a friend or a nearby relative who was willing to go through a journey with me.

 

[zenith]

I would rather be alone in this hair journey than to be surrounded by naysayers and dream killers.

Sometimes you have to look within to get that courage to keep going on. Don't lose hope. (((hug)))

 

[Tiffalicious]

The only person in my family that actually tells me he loves my afro puffs is my male cousin. All the women keep asking me when I'm gonna do my hair.

 

[theprototype]

Aww, I'm in the same situation you are in! Iwish I had a friend or a nearby relative who was willing to go through a journey with me.

Off topic, but where in Canada are you? (if you don't mind my asking)

 

[ceebee3]

I don't really feel alone but I think it would be nice to have someone to discuss hair with IRL.

I don't discuss hair with my friends they think it's kind of vain. DH hates my hair so I don't discuss it with him.

Most of my family already has long hair so it's not a big deal to them.

I do get to talk to some of the ladies at work and that's fun sometimes.

I guess I don't mind being alone on this, I'm an only child so I'm used to it.

 

[LushLox]

I'm not really able to talk about what I want to achieve with my hair in any great depth as I know people will think I'm weird, particularly the amount of time and effort it takes. I suppose it would be nice to have a friend IRL to talk to, to share tips and ideas on products and styles etc but there isn't really. I don't mind though, it helps that I enjoy doing my hair.

 

[SuchMagnificent]

Sometimes I do. My mom, dad, SO, and one of my very good friends know about my HHJ but thats about it. I dont often go into detail about what products Im using or anything but my mom will often accompany me to the B.S...After seeing my progress she has started moisturizing and sealing...LOL...When I first told everyone that I joined the site, I was met with a bunch a side-eyes...I can say that no one is really interested in the day to day, but everyone like to see the progress. I have been trying to drop little hints to my BF about her neck length hair that is breaking off but I was met with "I aint trying to do to much.."ohwell:

 

[MrsHdrLe]

Sorry to go off topic, but do any of you ladies have irl (hair) friends you've met here? It seems that would be a great support. People around me just don't seem that interested in hair talk aside from, "Oh your hair is nice/cute/longer." and that's it. I need some friends w/o kids, men, jobs, family, freinds b/c all of them use these excuses/"reasons" to not improve their hair health with me. (yeah we know better, those are just their excuses)

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

I'm lonely too. I do have one girl on my hall who I can talk to, but she isn't into it so much.
And besides her, my friends think that I'm crazy for my methods. Every time that they want to go out at night and I can't go because I want to stay in and do my hair, they make sure to remind me that I'm not white and that all my hair is going to dissolve. And once, we were watching Pocahantas and I slipped up and said that I couldn't wait for my hair to be as long as hers.
Ya'll should have heard the laughter...people needed CPR, defribillation, intubation..just errythang. Folks nearly went on to glory just by laughing. So I don't talk about hair to them anymore.


I thought that things would be different at home, because my whole family likes hair, but nope. They laugh at me.
My sister used to tell me that I'm ruining my hair by DCing it every week and stretching my relaxers. When she caught me baggying, she said, "You think that what you're doing is so good for your hair, but it's not. That's why I have hair and you don't."

I used to be sad that nobody in real life supported my long hair aspirations, but now, I just feel lonely. This HHJ is like...walking up a mountain alone, with only your friend on a cell phone for company. The cell phone convo is nice, but it's not as good as having someone right there walking next to you, ya know?

 

[exoticmommie]

Nobody in my family has long hair the person who everyone thought had long hair was in between SL and APL. My family is encouraging though but it's kinda like. Awwww look at the poor thing, she think she can have hair down her back, lets go ahead and keep her spirits up.

I remember showing my mom Dlewis hair, and told her it's texlax (she was asking if she was mixed, and I knew she was gonna justify the length and etc with that) and so she was like what's that. And when I explained it THEN she was like oh that's why her hair is long and looks like that. Anyone that can put a relaxer on for a little while and they hair look like that, they got good hair.

I am thankful for the board, and I am really enjoying my journey but it was fun while it lasted.

 

[darlingdiva]

Yes. Over the break, I have been flat-ironing my hair. My mother even pressed my hair with the hot comb. My hair hasn't stayed straight enough for me to wear it down. I told my husband not to give up on me during this flat-ironing battle. He looked at me somewhat doubtfully and said, "Maybe it's just not gonna work."
I became frustrated because I remembered when I told myself that I was not going to speak with him about anything hair-related because he would always say something discouraging. I think I am going to stop speaking with him about hair stuff again.

 

[Evo-ny]

Off topic, but where in Canada are you? (if you don't mind my asking)

Winterpeg The biggest problem is that I can barely find any products anywhere. Extremely limited in selection, I'm going have to order online or take a hair roadtrip to the States. :O

(sorry to derail!)

 

[theprototype]

Winterpeg The biggest problem is that I can barely find any products anywhere. Extremely limited in selection, I'm going have to order online or take a hair roadtrip to the States. :O

(sorry to derail!)

In Montreal I feel somewhat limited, so I can't even imagine how it must be in Winnipeg. If you need me to send you anything, let me know!

 

[exoticmommie]

I'm lonely too. I do have one girl on my hall who I can talk to, but she isn't into it so much.
And besides her, my friends think that I'm crazy for my methods. Every time that they want to go out at night and I can't go because I want to stay in and do my hair, they make sure to remind me that I'm not white and that all my hair is going to dissolve. And once, we were watching Pocahantas and I slipped up and said that I couldn't wait for my hair to be as long as hers.
Ya'll should have heard the laughter...people needed CPR, defribillation, intubation..just errythang. Folks nearly went on to glory just by laughing. So I don't talk about hair to them anymore.


I thought that things would be different at home, because my whole family likes hair, but nope. They all laugh at me.
My sister used to tell me that I'm ruining my hair by DCing it every week and stretching my relaxers. When she caught me baggying, she said, "You think that what you're doing is so good for your hair, but it's not. That's why I have hair and you don't."

I used to be sad that nobody in real life supported my long hair aspirations, but now, I just feel lonely. This HHJ is like...walking up a mountain alone, with only your friend on a cell phone for company. The cell phone convo is nice, but it's not as good as having someone right there walking next to you, ya know?

The bolded had me , I can visually see it.

And what your sister said was really mean. How is her hair? She must be Pocahontas or something to be that bold.

And I totally get you about the cell phone thing. It would be great to share experiences and progress with someone in real life. But I honestly believe I will have to be about MBL before people are interested, but will I still be interested in helping these same people?

 

[Bnster]

Ladies, I really don't have anyone IRL to discuss hair talk. I can only get my mother to do so much. My weekly washing is being called to much and I am considering to wash bi-weekly. Boy I can hear it now. I am relax so even the thought of washing twice a week is a new thought hurdle to over come. I do love my weekly washes that I look forward too!

For me I just stay strong this is what I want and continue my hair care regimens, however it definitely be nice to talk hair talk. My closest friends are not black so there goes hair talk with them. One doesn't understand my protective styling with phoney pony. I am not changing that, plus it looks cute. Can't wait for my own hair to display it nicely and with flow.

 

[goodmorningruby]

I rarely feel "lonely IRL" with the vision I have for my hair. That's usually only reserved for when I'm not good at something and I get frustrated, because I am a complete DIYer and sometimes wish for some help. My friends and family couldn't care less what I do to my hair, but they do not discourage me. If anything they are perplexed by my hair related activities (e.g. deep conditioning/pre-pooing)...

 

[CityGirl]

To all of you who are in this I say DO NOT EVER LOST HOPE. Even if, worse case scenario you don't end up with long hair down your back (although I don't see why because hair does grow if you treat it right) you will end up with healthy hair and that is more than a plus.
The one thing that the haters and naysayers do not have that you do have is PATIENCE. It takes a long time, yes, but at the end of the day when you look back and your hair is looking really good and the people around you look kinda busted, you will be able to say that your hard work and your efforts paid off.
DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU and don't be swayed or dismayed by anyone who thinks they can tell you what is best for you. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS and above all LISTEN TO YOUR HAIR. It will tell you everything that it needs. Once you establish a regimen and STICK TO IT, you will see.

Peace, blessings, and healthy hair.

 

[ycammyy]

I feel lonely sometime too. My husband is very suppotive of my hair journey and he's my length checker every month. Feb/27 will be a year since I loss my mom to cancer and my journey is for the both of us. When she would lose her hair to chemo, I would lose my hair too! The look on her face, her crown and glory gone in a blink of an eye. I just would say don't worry mom our hair will grow back together. My co-workers laugh and say that's not ng that's naps when are you going to perm that stuff. I don't entertain them, I told my husband and he just said they were jealous, I was a beautiful woman and can still rock any kind of hair style and they can't. It is about 4 women on my job between apl and bsl ages 45-52. everyone else short or weave with no good haircare practice. I am the only girl out of 5 brothers, I have 7 sister -in- laws (two from my husbands side) we only talk causal no hanging out or talking about hair care. I thank God for my Mom, my Husband and the women of LHCF! I can talk to you all the time and not be laughed at, talked about behind my back. I can come to the four of you and talk and recieve all the love and suppot I need. Thank You

 

[LaidBak]

What does "IRL" mean?
I guess I am the oddball. I never felt like I needed anyone in my real life to know or even care about what I do with my hair. So the thought of being lonely never even occured to me. The only naysayer I ever had was my old stylist. She said cowashing would ruin my hair and make it weak. Which as I look back on it is true if you aren't watching your protein moisture balance. My cousins on the board are all I need.

 

[exoticmommie]

What does "IRL" mean?
I guess I am the oddball. I never felt like I needed anyone in my real life to know or even care about what I do with my hair. So the thought of being lonely never even occured to me. The only naysayer I ever had was my old stylist. She said cowashing would ruin my hair and make it weak. Which as I look back on it is true if you aren't watching your protein moisture balance. My cousins on the board are all I need.

In real life...

For me it's not about people knowing about me and my hair. It's about having someone on the journey with you. For me seeing their progress is just as great as seeing mine. With my one sister who still does it, when she rarely does have time, she tells me how certain products works for her. Because of her I went ahead and invested in the nexxus humectress.

 

[Taina]

I kind of, i don't have anybody here to actually alk about regimens and stuff, but everybody is always asking about it, wondering if they have my hair, touching it ... so i don't actually feel that lonely.

 

[beans4reezy]

All the women keep asking me when I'm gonna do my hair.

Yes, and if I hear that, "when are you gonna get a perm question one more time", I really am going to scream. What's funny is that my girl cousins who are asking me this have the most over processed, chewed up ends, damaged, stay at shoulder length forever hair. NONE of them have thick, at least APL hair. I just look at them and think, "What has a relaxer done for YOU that I should run out and get my hair relaxed?

 

[ClassicBeauty]

I felt that way when I started growing my relaxer out. I live in the deep south, and no one could understand why I wanted to do that. My family told me that I was getting obsessed with hair. Now EVERYONE (white people included) asks me for hair advice, so I'm sure you guys will be fine. Just stay on the hair boards for a while.