Do Your Friends Need Help With Their Hair?

[Trini"T"]

I know a lot of us have black females as friends who need help with their hair. I've told most of my friends about the healthy hair care sites (LHCF, growafrohairlong, etc.) because I think healthy or long hair should be the norm or at least easy to attain for black females just like it is with the females of different races. So my question to you is are you giving your black friends helpful hair tips, are you directing them to healthy hair care sites or are you just keeping all the goodness to yourself and why?

 

[crlsweetie912]

I give tips, products, recommendations. I always have since I was a former hairdresser. I buy stuff sometimes that I have used and give it to people who look like they need it. I always do it tactfully and have gotten great responses to it.

ETA: I have never given out the LHCF site info cause I am the only geek I know who stays on the computer all day.

 

[HoneyDew]

I tell my mom and my cousin.

I think they dont' really want to take the time to really do all the things I do.

Now, my mom is starting to take notice now that she has been letting me do her hair.

But, some healthy hair habits she just won't adopt!! Like she insist on washing her hair in the sink. I know that works for some, but her is gets so tangled and she looses a lot just from detangling. You should see the amounts. I would die if I lost that much from something I can fix!

It would be so much better is she would do it in the shower. But, will she listen?!?!

So I leave it at that and dn't say anything else.

 

[myco]

I tell my friends who ask. I don't want to come off as a zealot. They're never rude, but a lot of them don't want to make the time committment or regimen change. But after a while, they hit "rock-bottom" and then they'll be more receptive.

For one of my friends, I swear that I wrote out the same regimen at least 4 times for her. But she wasn't really ready until we went on a girl's trip to the beach and she saw how well my hair held up versus hers. She's been a faithful follower of her CO-wash regimen ever since. She even came up with a challenge name all on her own.

 

[jaded_faerie]

im usually hesitant to give advice, but im willing to give it to those who want it. I recently got one of my gf's addicted to this site shes on here more than me now

 

[BabyImaStarr]

I have shared this site with two of my friends. One of them, with hair longer than mine, checked it out, asked for my regimen, and went to the BSS and started doing CO washes among other things. The other chick is a different story. Her hair is all broken off and chewed up. She gets relaxers every 4 weeks because her hair is "thick." I have tried time and time again to tell her that the thickness of her hair has nothing to do with new growth. She uses hot curlers daily and refuses to get trims. She told her stylist, you know, the one who charges her $65 every month for a relaxer, about what I am doing to my hair and the stylist told her that everything is not for everyone and she should not try to follow me. Rrright... I put a link to this site in my AIM profile because she is an away message stalker. I figured that one day she would get curious enough to click on the link

So, if you are here girl... I am talking about YOU

Sorry about the long rant, but I hate to see her hair so chewed up when it does not have to be.

 

[Priss Pot]

I would try to give my roommate, from this past year, advice that I learned from the hair boards, but of course she didn't listen. When I started washing my hair more often, she'd say "Ashley, you are NOT White!" I would just dismiss her comments and go on about my merry way. She washes her hair maybe once every 10 days or so (which is completely fine with me), she doesn't protect her hair at night with anything, and she uses grease and curling irons on her hair EVERY MORNING. When I suggested to her that she should roll her hair at night so that she wouldn't have to put so much heat on it, she surprisingly took that advice. The only bad thing is that they were sponge rollers; they'd suck up all the moisture. Those things would always have pieces of hair stickin out of 'em from her hair breakage. After taking out the rollers, she would still put grease and curling irons on it...I don't get it, lol. Like I said, I tried giving her tips but she says that her damage was from a relaxer gone bad, which is understandable. But c'mon!!! That bad relaxer was like 2-3 years ago, and you've been sportin a very short cut ever since then. That "bad relaxer" should have grown out by now!!! She just wasn't properly taking care of her hair. Oh well, it's not my problem since she refuses to listen.

 

[Princess Pie]

I told my sister about LHCF, and try to give her tips. She DOESN'T listen. She recently had to cut all of her hair off, due to extreme breakage. I don't understand why she won't listen, since we have the same hair type... if my hair can grow, hers can too. I also try to give my brother's wife suggestions, but she just looks at me like I'm dumb. I don't think I'll be giving anyone tips anymore, because no one appreciates them. My mom is the only person who listens to me.

 

[amy1234]

I have been telling a close friend of mine all of my hair secrets! In the beginning she will follow them but she loves to trim her hair so her hair has always been just above shoulders. She's too stubborn to cut back on the trims and so I told her to expect it to stay at that length if your not willing to let it grow out in layers. Ohh well.... I hope she's not reading this

 

[Southernbella.]

My best friend has pretty healthy hair, but it's been the same length for quite some time now. She told me that she wants to grow it long, but she rejected the regimen I wrote for her. I told her that the main thing I would recommend is stretching a little longer (from 6 weeks to 8 weeks, but she said it's impossible), and getting fewer trims (she sees the same stylist I used to see who trims with every relaxer ). She has not listened.

I also sent her links to albums to give her inspiration, and to a few key threads on this board, like Sissor Happy Stylists. That's all I can do. I don't ask anymore, and I don't talk about my hair. When she's really ready, she'll ask for my help.

 

[macherieamour]

I find that people tend to want quick fixes to solve their problems. They just want me to tell them a certain product to use or a certain salon to go to. They dont understand that you have to work for your hair health, time the time to FIND good products that work for their hair, handle it gently, etc.

So I just try to lead by example and wait until they come to me.

My bff noticed that, when I went to visit her, my hair was no longer all over the floor. She noticed her was and decided to get into her hair. So she asked for my advice. I pretty much wrote her a novel

 

[Priss Pot]

I find that people tend to want quick fixes to solve their problems. They just want me to tell them a certain product to use or a certain salon to go to. They dont understand that you have to work for your hair health, time the time to FIND good products that work for their hair, handle it gently, etc.

So I just try to lead by example and wait until they come to me.

My bff noticed that, when I went to visit her, my hair was no longer all over the floor. She noticed her was and decided to get into her hair. So she asked for my advice. I pretty much wrote her a novel

Macherie, I agree with people wanting a quick fix for things. They don't understand that you have to put in time when caring for your hair. People look at me like I'm crazy when I give them tips, suggestions, etc. They think that I just have "nothing else better to do" or "no real problems." I hate...excuse me...have a strong dislike for people who are quick to criticize and put me down for the healthy things that I do to my hair. One of my boyfriend's friends made a comment to him about me having no real problems since my goal is to get my hair in shape. I was surprised that came from her, considering she was one of the few females who was on the "same page" with me when it came to healthy hair practices.

 

[2cute2B4gotten]

The only person who I've told is my little sister. I thought she was listening, but after I found out that she is continuing to highlight, perm, blow dry and flat iron, I gave up. Her hair is so beautiful, but she hasn't gained any length for years. I agree with all of you, when people find out that it isn't a magic vitamin or hair potion, they don't listen. So now, I don't mention it.

 

[Elizabeth26]

I mention this site to mom and she always ask me about haircare and to look up different information on the site. My mom is a little oldfashion and no matter how much I tell her that she needs a good conditioner and shampoo but she still thinks that grease is the answer. I figure she will learn in time.

 

[Faith]

Besides my mom and sister, I have a biracial friend who I gave lots of products (many for her BDAY) to and since she has been following my advice her hair is softer and the curl definition is GREAT. She used to flatiron all the time (she relaxes 2x/year) and I had to convince her she didn't need to and to just wash and wear it with some basic products.
Besides her I have a few other black friends who are in weaves or just refuse to listen to anything (and walk around with short...damaged hair) so I don't say much to them.
And besides that all my other girlfriends are non-black(White, Asian, East Indian). Some have asked me and I tell them what I can but I am aware the hair textures are not the same so...

 

[Aquamarie]

I've tried giving people advice and telling them about these websites. But most of the time I get a crazy look, so now I only say something if someone asks me.

 

[SerenityBreeze]

I am always happy to share information when I can. I have one girlfriend with whom I am constantly giving advice to. She is always telling me how her hair is diffrent than everyone elses and how her hair needs heat. Every morning she uses the flat iron & curling iron. She also relaxes every four weeks. Needless to say her hair is constantly breaking off all over the floor, etc.

Some people just don't get it. I wont stop though..I will always share tips, buy two of a good product to share with her and do whatever I can to get her to throw out those electronics.

I think that as she sees my progress, it becomes a visual testimonial and she is more likely to take heed. As a matter of fact, she picked up some caruso rollers!! I was too happy for her!!

 

[SweetAKA]

When I went back home to visit I had a long time friend ask me how did I get my hair so healthy looking. I told her what I was doing cowashes, conditioning, washing every week, stretching relaxers, and not buying into a lot of hair care products that have the wrong ingredients. Out of all that I told her, the one thing that stuck out the most was stretching relaxers. She threw such a fit about not being able to do that and how would she get by; after that I just threw my hands up in the air.

She called me the other day asking me what shampoo and conditioner do I use. When I told her the conditioner..Suave Milk & Honey..she told me that was on the "white side" of the hair product aisle. She refused to even try it , and cracked jokes about me. But hey, I guess she'll be loving her hair line 2yrs from now, from those constant tight cornrows she get done every week; and I'll be swinging my oh so healthy hair down my back.

But other than her, I try to tell my bestfriend about it also. I dont know if she has made her way around to getting here or not.

 

[dreysonsmommy2011]

Right now I just share with my mom and sister. They are the ones who actually see my progress. I have my hair in protectives styles alot so others in my family really don't get to see the length that I gained like my mom and sis. Christmas I am going to wear it down and If they ask I will be glad to share, but until then I only share with my mom and sis. They have listened to me and their hair is coming along nicely

 

[B_Phlyy]

I mostly just give advice and product recommendations. Even though most of my friends hair is longer than mine, mine is healthier so they ask me for tips on that and not necessarily how to grow it longer.

 

[frankie]

I know a lot of us have black females as friends who need help with their hair. I've told most of my friends about the healthy hair care sites (LHCF, growafrohairlong, etc.) because I think healthy or long hair should be the norm or at least easy to attain for black females just like it is with the females of different races. So my question to you is are you giving your black friends helpful hair tips, are you directing them to healthy hair care sites or are you just keeping all the goodness to yourself and why?

All of my friends know that I'm addicted to the Long Hair Care Forum (because there is a wealth of info in one place...not just about hair). I've given them the name and the address and they can do with it what they please. My friends have beautiful heads of hair and we share tips about products and techniques here and there. No need to be secretive about something that can help out a friend.

 

[ProductJunkie]

I always give my sister tips, and she doesn't listen.. I cringe everyda when I wake up and see her hair... knowing it could be so much better. SHe calls herself "natural" Yet she had an inch and a half or stringy relazed ends. She uses gel and hair spray and about 6 diff products all at once.... I just wanna burn all her stuff and buy her new stuff.... And then on top of that she uses my stuff without asking and drinks it up leaving me productless when i need it..... Wow.... sry about the rant