Do You Treat Your Man Like A Child?

It's more complicated than that. The automatic blaming women for her treatment of the "king in his castle" is part of a larger problem. Here's a good article explaining the dynamics of "nagging," which men also do.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201310/why-do-we-say-women-nag-men-request

In essence, an assertive woman is blamed for being a "b," basically and while he ignores her pleas, few realize he's power-playing and making the situation even worse. Women who don't nag who don't get their needs met due to ineffective communication are often silenced. The couple needs to learn how to communicate to get what they need.

OP, are you equally disturbed by men controlling their wives like children?
 
I don't nag or complain about the stuff he's doing. I clean up and cook for him like a child lol! But I don't mind. I like stuff done a certain way so I always do it myself and it doesn't bother me. I also give him a lot of reminders about errands and stuff...like a child lol.
 
Sometimes I nag and sometimes I ask once, then do it myself which also annoys him. I can't live in a situation where nothing gets done, but I try to do the nagging outside of public view. Sometimes I just let it become a life lesson, but that usually doesn't make a difference, so nagging becomes the only option.
 
This reminds me of a third marriage that I've witnessed. I think he purposely messes up the laundry (turns everything red) so he won't have to do it...and it works. She does all the laundry now.

That doesn't work here. DH does the laundry. I won't do it myself or even ask him to do it, which did mean I had to purchase new underwear once.
 
naturalmanenyc said:
This reminds me of a third marriage that I've witnessed. I think he purposely messes up the laundry (turns everything red) so he won't have to do it...and it works. She does all the laundry now.

That doesn't work here. DH does the laundry. I won't do it myself or even ask him to do it, which did mean I had to purchase new underwear once.
Click to expand...

Just like that old Bill Cosby sketch about how men are the geniuses of the family. They mess things up on purpose so that they won't be asked to do them anymore! :lachen:
 
@lunabelle
I don't really have an answer for you. But I will tell you that men like this, if they don't want to take care of broken things or dirty things, they won't. They procrastinate because they think they are above such duties. And yes that means they want you to take care of those things and won't feel an ounce of shame or guilt. I wish you luck because it is very hard to unspoil a spoiled man and it's not your job to do so anyway. He has to see it as a problem and want to change.
 
The purses, cars, and clothes are a way to cover up where they are lacking. It's easier to write a check and feel like the big successful guy than to face why you think you are too good to get dirty and are fine watching the sweet wife you supposedly love be stressed and worried about the mundane things that must be done and go along with home ownership.
 
This reminds me of a conversation I recently had with a friend who I never talk about relationships with. She asked me about the guy I was seeing and when I told her the reason I was letting it go she told me, "You are just used to something different. He's probably fine, he just needs someone to train him."

This bothered me for days. I seriously questioned my decision and then decided she's just crazy as hell but she was right about one thing, I'm used to something different, it's a MAN. Lol, ain't nobody got time for that!
 
I don't see the point in being upset that a man isn't being handy and proactive around the house if I chose to be with the opposite type :look:. If he is not practical, but eager to please he can learn and apply it..but low skills AND zero motivation lol?

let_it_go_frozen.png

j/k :lachen:
My FH can fix/wire/build etc... and if I need something he'll offer to do it ASAP, but that's just his natural personality and skills. My ex on the other hand, wasn't confident with that area and I knew that. If it was a priority I wouldn't have been with him. Just like if a man has high priority on a wife that can cook, it's so much easier to find a woman who already loves and is good at it!

If I was married to a guy who WAS good around the house, but just became lazy over the years I'd ask him once and remind him once.....
If it didn't get done I'd invite another man I know to do it. Trust, if he was just being lazy he wont be anymore lol
 
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^^^ I think the issue is when women marry younger they don't realize how important it is to them that the man be handy or at least feel more responsible for certain things. There are just some things you don't recognize as a problem until after you are married and living in a home. Even living in an apartment it may not be obvious because apartments often have a maintenance guy. Some men act like changing a lightbulb is a big imposition, but they don't reveal that side of themselves until later. Just like women hide certain aspects of themselves, so do men.
 
BrownSkin2 said:
I have noticed this especially with a friend of mine. She is 17 1/2 years OLDER than her husband. She's in her late 40s, he's in his early 30s. I hear her talking to him in a firm tone take the trash out, don't leave those prints on the refrigerator, counting every penny he spends, giving him a gas & food allowance from the joint account, etc. I was at their house party recently, he opened a bag of bbq potato chips and she said to him very loud and firm in front of a group of people 'that won't get your body where you want it to be. Didn't you just tell me you wanted to bulk up." He politely put the chips back up. LoL That reminded me of a momma/child relationship. I thought it was just the age difference. Maybe it is common. It's not what I would want.
Click to expand...

17.5!!! Wowwwe
 
hopeful said:
^^^ I think the issue is when women marry younger they don't realize how important it is to them that the man be handy or at least feel more responsible for certain things. There are just some things you don't recognize as a problem until after you are married and living in a home. Even living in an apartment it may not be obvious because apartments often have a maintenance guy. Some men act like changing a lightbulb is a big imposition, but they don't reveal that side of themselves until later. Just like women hide certain aspects of themselves, so do men.
Click to expand...
Exactly.
 
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