Do You Really Ask A Man _____ On a First Date??

[Syrah]

I'm talking to my girl about her first date Saturday night. She's giving me the play by play. "He picked me up at ____. We went ______. He had great conversation and we talked about everything." So I started asking questions about they're conversation. "We talked about traveling, and books, and an ideal concert line up and we talked about sexuality because I asked him if he'd ever been sexually involved with another man?"

Wait, what???



And here's the thing - I've heard that on this board before. Don't get me wrong, I know DL behavior is a problem in the black community, especially in certain parts of the country. We've all heard stories of men and women living duel lives, playing the role of the Good Black (Heterosexual) Man while harboring and acting on other feelings. But, damn...

Do people really ask this on a first/early dates? Is this something people are only asking Black men? And is it naive of me to not be concerned with this??

 

[Mena]

I'm talking to my girl about her first date Saturday night. She's giving me the play by play. "He picked me up at ____. We went ______. He had great conversation and we talked about everything." So I started asking questions about they're conversation. "We talked about traveling, and books, and an ideal concert line up and we talked about sexuality because I asked him if he'd ever been sexually involved with another man?"

Wait, what???



And here's the thing - I've heard that on this board before. Don't get me wrong, I know DL behavior is a problem in the black community, especially in certain parts of the country. We've all heard stories of men and women living duel lives, playing the role of the Good Black (Heterosexual) Man while harboring and acting on other feelings. But, damn...

Do people really ask this on a first/early dates? Is this something people are only asking Black men? And is it naive of me to not be concerned with this??

Wow. Craziness...thats a new one to me.

 

[stephluv]

OH EM GEE....I wouldn't be on a date with a guy that I feel I would have to even ask that question to!

 

[Vinyl]

I've had men volunteer this info on a first date. :snicker:

 

[Kiadodie]

I had a friend in college who asked this guy she was dating. After phone conversations and some dates she said something in her spirit said ask him if he'd been with a man So she asked and he told her the truth and said yes but it was an "accident"..apparently after a night of heavy drinking. She left him alone after that.

 

[panamoni]

Learn something new everyday...

 

[simplertimes]

I have had a friend tell me she asked a man she met off the POF if he was gay. She said he had very effeminate characteristics, but I felt that was too bold LOL

But asking a man if he has ever been with a man is just rude for a first date. If a guy asked me the reverse I doubt he would ever hear from me again.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

OH EM GEE....I wouldn't be on a date with a guy that I feel I would have to even ask that question to!

Exactly how I feel.

 

[chicitygirl]

I wouldn't ask it on a first date, but please believe it would be asked before I had any type of physical contact with him. Not asking is what has a lot of women in the dark about stuff...