Do you let your SO/DH about where you are at all times?

[BillsBackerz67]

Got into a slight argument with my SO yesterday. I went to Olive Garden with my friends at 7 and didnt get out until 11. I havent seen them in awhile so we stayed a long time. I left my phone in the car. When I get to my car I had a good 11 missed calls and several text messages from SO asking where I was and why I wasnt answering. I finally called him back and he was pissed. He says basically I should at least tell him where I am so he wont worry sick about what Im doing and check in with him at least every 4 hours At first I was about to tell him I dont have to but then I realize 99% of the time he always lets me know where he is whether it be working out, at the grocery store, playing bball.


I dont have a prob doing this but sometimes I do "forget" that I have an SO. Im so used to doing as I please without telling anyone and I didnt think it was a big deal to leave my phone in the car until I realized that I'd prob be upset if he did the same thing to me. Plus I didnt even tell him I was going to dinner with my friends. Not that I didnt want him to not know...again I just simply "forgot" to tell him

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

At least you have someone that gives a damn about you.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I'm in a bitter place right now He loves you and wants to make sure you are safe. Tis all. He isn't saying you need to give him a minute by minute but just let him know kind of how your day is going and that all is well.

 

[Chrissy811]

Well not all the time, he knows my destination. Last week I went out with GF's we didn't know where we were going to eat so he didn't know that but he knew that I was going to be a the 8'oclock show at a certain comedy club. I try to tell him where I'm going to be in case something happens (I want him to at least be able to tell the police that she was at blah blah at this time).

I think its common courtesy especially in this day and age, people are crazy. The longer you stay together the easier it'll get.

 

[lijm83]

I let mine know where I'm at, when I don't I try to have my cellphone on me so he can reach me. I agree with Chrissy811 it's common courtesy.

I get why he got worried though and, like JNSQ said, shows he cares.

 

[Dee-Licious]

My fiance and I always know where each other. We don't have a reason to not notify the other one.

There is no need for one to be guessing or wondering about the other. If you just truly forgot is okay, but consider his feelings.

 

[fluffylocks]

I think its respectfull-not even because of danger. I dont know the right words...I was thinking your are lucky, or hes considerate, but whatever, it looks like you two have something good for him to tell you where hes at, and worry about where you are at. I never have said, or heard anyone say every 4 hours specifically LOL (could have been him being pissed), but it sounds average to me if your going different places, not if your at work, sitting at home, or in school though. You are in a good place to be the one forgetting you have a SO imo. But for me, I always wonder about my SO after some hours, and we both just give little calls or updates throught the day. If I were you, before I went, while driving there or something, would have sent a text. Then if the phone was in the car, and all the calls, and he was pissed, there would be an issue. But I understand yall probally had to argue because you arent used to someone in your space like your are just supposed to tell everything, but IMO it comes from a good place.

 

[kmn1980]

Yes, I do. Basically, with the world the way is it, DH needs to at least know that last place I was just in case. Same with him. That way if something happens, we can tell the authorities where the other was headed.

 

[Bmack]

No, I do not, not at all times, what if I leave point A and arrive at B- that would be silly, but I do tell Dh if I am going to go out after work or if I am leaving the house I will say I am going out and to where (providing I know) and with whom.

Ur so seemed genuine in his concern so don't take it as a control thing. If he knew where u were he would not have called all night.

 

[Coffee]

Hubby and I always let the othe know where we are. Also if for some reason we're running late, we let each other know. It's consideration for the other person.

 

[TayMac]

I let him know when I have plans.

If I was married, I would definitely be sure he knew and would expect the same.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

thanks everyone this is going to take some getting used to. i drove to another town to see a friend of mine and i let him know right away that i was leaving He was cool.

 

[Whimsy]

Yeah we tell each other where we will be.

 

[JJamiah]

Married here and we do let each other know, I am a small woman and my husband always worries, 80% of the time he is present, 15% of the time we are on the phone and the last 5% I just brief him on my plans for the day. Otherwise we get into it when I am napping because I hate to get the phone, he will call 100 times and I am like ready to ring his neck, he goes I was worried just call and say you'll be sleep. But during that TOTM (time of the month) I just fall out, so it is hard. I think it is cute after all these years though he still worries

Take it as a compliment, he loves you and your his queen he want's to make sure your safe at all times. Bless you both!

 

[Bunny77]

My situation is a little different because I'm in an LDR, although I'll see if FH gets like that when I move to his area in the next few months.

He knows I travel a lot though (for work, to his house, in general) and he does like me to send him my travel itinerary when I'm taking a plane trip, or text him when I arrive in my hotel/house. I think it's cute.

Even on "regular" days, he'll usually ask me the night before what I'm doing the next day, and vice-versa, so we kind of keep tabs on each other that way.

So, I would say that if you two have a routine in which you usually check in with each other at a particular time, then keep that up... if you decide out of the blue to see some friends, just send a text and say, "Off to Olive Garden, just ran into my girls, gonna be home around 11!"

The only thing I didn't like though in your post was the checking in every four hours stuff. Nah, that's not necessary...

I also wonder about the 11 calls and multiple texts... that's a lot for a four-hour absence... my FH "disappeared" like that for a few hours and he later e-mailed to say that he left his phone at work, and if I had called/texted, he didn't know because he didn't have his phone with him.

The next day, he returned all of the texts!

 

[kismettt]

not all the time. we generally have an idea of where the other person will be, especially because during the school year. we both had pretty regular schedules (classes, student orgs). we're long distance now. when we talk at night he usually tells me what he's up to the next day.

 

[Arcadian]

I do let him know. Not every 4 hours (thats a wee bit excessive) but he knows if I'm going to detour or be late coming home. Even though he knows I'm quite prepared to take care of business if necessary, he still worries about me and I do the same with him.

The longer you're together, the more this will just be like 2nd nature.

-A

 

[Mandy4610]

I dont think that checking in every 4hrs is unrealistic, 4hrs is a good chunk of time especially if you are out and about. If you are in one place for that amount of time then its probably not necessary. If he said check in every hrs, that would be weird.
If you have a situation where he freaks out if you dont check in 4hrs on the dot, thats weird too.

 

[DragonPearl]

My situation is a little different because I'm in an LDR, although I'll see if FH gets like that when I move to his area in the next few months.

He knows I travel a lot though (for work, to his house, in general) and he does like me to send him my travel itinerary when I'm taking a plane trip, or text him when I arrive in my hotel/house. I think it's cute.

Even on "regular" days, he'll usually ask me the night before what I'm doing the next day, and vice-versa, so we kind of keep tabs on each other that way.

So, I would say that if you two have a routine in which you usually check in with each other at a particular time, then keep that up... if you decide out of the blue to see some friends, just send a text and say, "Off to Olive Garden, just ran into my girls, gonna be home around 11!"

The only thing I didn't like though in your post was the checking in every four hours stuff. Nah, that's not necessary...

I also wonder about the 11 calls and multiple texts... that's a lot for a four-hour absence... my FH "disappeared" like that for a few hours and he later e-mailed to say that he left his phone at work, and if I had called/texted, he didn't know because he didn't have his phone with him.

The next day, he returned all of the texts!

DH does the same if he can't get a hold of me and he doesn't understand why. He is a bit of a worry bug. I would worry too if I couldn't get a hold of DH from 7 to 11 pm and I didn't know where he was... Many attacks occur late in the evening.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

That was the longest he ever went with out speaking to me....I went to dinner at 7 but the last time i talked to him was about 4pm.... so it was basically 7 hours that we went without speaking I did tell him every 4 hours was kinda random, but he said he didn't mean it like that.

 

[LilMissRed]

yes, DH & I talk thru out the day.. so if I veer form my normal routine or vice versa.. we check in whether it be via phone ,IM or text... Just common courtesy so neither worries about the other

 

[ellebelle88]

Yeah, I think its common courtesy just to inform your SO of where you will be and a little of what you will be doing. However, I'm just like the OP. I'm so used to doing things on my own and getting up and bouncing that sometimes when I'm in a relationship, I forget to inform him before hand that I will be out of town or out with friends. It just happens but maybe with time you get used to remembering. Is this a new relationship OP?

 

[hopeful]

I'm glad you were understanding. I think most serious couples keep in touch throughout the day and yes 4pm-11pm is a long time without contact IMO. So long as he doesn't need like hourly check-ins and proof of where you've been you should be okay.

 

[dlewis]

My husband or kids know where I am at all times. If I'm at the office and had to step out, go to a meeting etc, someone here can let them know. I do not leave the office and not let someone know something. Samething at home.

When I was single my mother knew where I was at all times.

 

[Lylddlebit]

~~~~~~Deleted~~~~~~~~~~

 

[MD_Lady]

DH and I do. I never had an adjustment period (I grew up in a home where everyone did this for safety reasons), but in addition to your getting used to having an SO, this just might not be your thing. Hopefully, you two will be able to meet each other half way.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

Yes it is a fairly new relationship. It will be 6 months in september. This is one of my first "real" relationships in my 26 years of existence so its a major lifestyle change for me. So far the pros weigh the cons.