Do you have to do everything in your relationship?

[longhairlover]

I am married to a great guy blah blah blah and i'm a house wife now out of nowhere because of the job market.

He works in business umm hmm. And when it comes to us taking care of our business I have to always be the one to handle the paperwork and give him specific instructions to make sure it's done right. Of course somehow it still gets done wrong.

Do you ladies have these same issue with your partners? where you have to always do everything? Does it get on your nerves?

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Maybe that's just not his forte but luckily you have the smarts to handle the business side of your family which I think is great. At least your man is the provider so look at the bright side

 

[drasgrl]

Yes and it really got on my nerves. When we go out I have to do all the talking. We bought a car (he paid for it) and I had to do all the talking at the dealerships. I was talking care of the car because I know more than he does and he's a man I got tired of it and said you need to step up you are the man. He told me it was because English is not his first language but he speaks excellent English not even an accent

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

Proximity, or lack of, is our problem. I think 80% of what we politely argue about is due to distance (1700 miles apart). I can not wait to spend 2 and a half weeks with him in December nor can I wait for him to move up here permanently in June!!!!

 

[longhairlover]

Maybe that's just not his forte but luckily you have the smarts to handle the business side of your family which I think is great. At least your man is the provider so look at the bright side

I know....but sometimes it's alot of stuff we have to take care of at times and it's all on me, believe me i'd rather be out there making my own riches for us as well, I really hate being an at home wife for the moment, that's not my thing, i'm very independent.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I know....but sometimes it's alot of stuff we have to take care of at times and it's all on me, believe me i'd rather be out there making my own riches for us as well, I really hate being an at home wife for the moment, that's not my thing, i'm very independent.

I am sure it can be frustrating, i was just trying to find a positive side about it. Are you able to get back into the workforce right now? That would probably get rid of a lot of tension for you

 

[longhairlover]

lol! at not speaking english, yeah i think i'm too manly with certain things, i know more about cars too, when we change the lights on the car he just stands there, while i'm getting dirty. when we painted i did most of the painting, i put up the wallpaper, use a drill wow i'm like a man aint i? kinda bad maybe.

r u still with the man?

Yes and it really got on my nerves. When we go out I have to do all the talking. We bought a car (he paid for it) and I had to do all the talking at the dealerships. I was talking care of the car because I know more than he does and he's a man I got tired of it and said you need to step up you are the man. He told me it was because English is not his first language but he speaks excellent English not even an accent

 

[longhairlover]

Proximity, or lack of, is our problem. I think 80% of what we politely argue about is due to distance (1700 miles apart). I can not wait to spend 2 and a half weeks with him in December nor can I wait for him to move up here permanently in June!!!!

when he is with you permanently you may want him back at the distance lol! joking. relationships are nice but like everything it has it's annoying moments. i guess as long as theirs not cheating and stuff we should appreciate it more.

 

[longhairlover]

I am sure it can be frustrating, i was just trying to find a positive side about it. Are you able to get back into the workforce right now? That would probably get rid of a lot of tension for you

no the type of work i has mainly been in finance and that industry is a nightmare to find work. i have been looking at all types of jobs, but i'm sure most companies are holding back on their hiring right now because what's happening in the finance industry is leaking into all other industries. thank you for the hug

your right i'll look at the bright side that he's an honest man no one is perfect.

it is aggravatig me with the job stuff, i know some women don't mind being at home, but i've always been so independent and i guess kind of butch lol! so i feel like i'm playing a severe chick role right now....wait i am a chick

it's my families fault all the women in my family are very masculine but heterosexuals. seeing this all my life has me that way it's kind of bad in a way too, because i don't really give him much of a chance to be the man in the relationship.

i guess normally women are supposed to take care of business and men are supposed to be the bread winners, very 1960's.

 

[drasgrl]

lol! at not speaking english, yeah i think i'm too manly with certain things, i know more about cars too, when we change the lights on the car he just stands there, while i'm getting dirty. when we painted i did most of the painting, i put up the wallpaper, use a drill wow i'm like a man aint i? kinda bad maybe.

r u still with the man?

No he has to do everything for himself now because I'm an ocean away. I miss him but I don't miss doing everything. When I get back things will definitely change.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Longhair, I hear you about the repairs and such but the paperwork handling is a good thing; too many wives have no idea the ins and outs of the household's financial matters. Your husband has handed you a great resource, use it wisely.

 

[Cichelle]

I have found in my dealings with men (in general) the more I do, the less they do. I don't know why this is. There are certain things I will not do in a relationship. And since I don't do them and don't even volunteer to help do them, the man involved manages to get his act together. In a past relationship, this involved me watching, without saying a word, as a bill due date rolled by and the phone was cut off. That was the last time he "forgot" to pay his bills.

My DH happens to be a very "take care of business" kind of guy. But from the beginning, I just operated as if it was a given that he would do certain things and I would do other things.

Everyone has a different idea of what they think each person in a relationship should do. I don't think there are set rules for everyone. Whatever works for both people involved...meaning no one feels resentful or taken advantage of...is all good.

 

[Vanity1]

I have found in my dealings with men (in general) the more I do, the less they do. I don't know why this is. There are certain things I will not do in a relationship. And since I don't do them and don't even volunteer to help do them, the man involved manages to get his act together. In a past relationship, this involved me watching, without saying a word, as a bill due date rolled by and the phone was cut off. That was the last time he "forgot" to pay his bills.

My DH happens to be a very "take care of business" kind of guy. But from the beginning, I just operated as if it was a given that he would do certain things and I would do other things.

Everyone has a different idea of what they think each person in a relationship should do. I don't think there are set rules for everyone. Whatever works for both people involved...meaning no one feels resentful or taken advantage of...is all good.

 

[longhairlover]

No he has to do everything for himself now because I'm an ocean away. I miss him but I don't miss doing everything. When I get back things will definitely change.

yeah, i guess just have a sit down with him, he doesn't sound like a bad guy at all.

I tell my hubby that i need his help with certain business things sometimes and try to give him clear instructions sometimes it works, other times lol!!!