Do you find it offensive...

[ChasingBliss]

I have never been asked this question either. People ask me how I grew my hair so fast or they ask my daughter how I did it. If they think it's a weave, they dont say it to me. I wouldnt be offended though, I'd love to show anyone that it's not. That clears it all up right there.

 

[amy1234]

I haven't been getting these questions- hmmm I wonder why

 

[amy1234]

It never bothered me that much if people asked me if my hair was a weave or not. It's annoying at most. But what did tick me off was after i told them it was all mine, they would ask what i was mixed with. I am part indian, but still why do you have to assume that if its all my hair then i am automatically mixed.

I can relate

 

[Jas123]

I guess i'm on the fence about this because I also believe it can be a compliment..but a couple of months ago when I had just gotten a T/U and decided to wear my hair down a caucasian co-worker asked if I had extensions while reaching for my hair. Granted my hair is always, I mean always up (baggie method ponytail), but I must admit I was a little pissed that she assumed I had extensions. Had it been the exact same situation and I was caucasian would she have posed the same question?

 

[VirtuousGal]

I think it's pretty obnoxious when someone you don't know very well asks that question, which has happened to me. Even if I wasn't certain whether someone had a weave or not, I could never fix my mouth to ask that question. I didn't mind nearly as much when a family member asked me that, though.

Yep, I have to agree with this one. I dont understand why people, especially white people ask you these questions when they dont even know you. However it doesnt offend me as it use to. If it is someone I know them I'll fill them in, if i dont know them at all then I really have a mind to look straight through them and pretend the hadnt sid ish to me, although a part of me feels thats a lil' dirty. Hmm what woud Jesus do? lol

 

[LoveLiLi]

People have asked if my hair was real since I was a child. When I was young grown women would ask me or my mother if I was wearing extensions or a wig (I guess they assume all little black girls have to be bald headed). I still get offended sometimes, it depends on who's asking and the tone they use. It just ticks me off that nobody asks this question of women of any other race.

 

[jwhitley6]

It funny you say that. People ask other people about my hair but only family will really ask me. I dont get offended about it. But when they wanna put their hands in my hair...NOw that pisses me off!

Oh, before I go. This is the slickest line of them. I had one chick ask...Where do you buy your weave? I really like it. lmao. WTH??? lol

I don't think it's so bad...It's like "where did you buy your shoes?" I wouldn't be offended. Also like people saying you have beautiful teeth and asking if you wore braces. It's somewhat personal, but not meant in an offemsive way.

 

[Tee]

Don't leave us hanging like that girl!! Please tell us how you responded and how cracked up ole girl's face was when you told her it was REAL!!

I just saw your post. Sorry for the delay.

I told her...........God along with a little berries and juices. (remember that line from 'Coming To America'?? lol) AND she was with a bunch of friends so I know she was trying to prove a point. I just laughed and said thanks for the compliment tho!! She didn't say a word.

 

[londa70]

I would be thrilled if someone thought my hair was a weave. It just means you hair looks too good to be true. I can't wait for that day!

 

[JazzyDez]

I'm the same way. Whether my hair has been short or a little longer, people have always asked me if it was a wig or weave. I laugh and smile.

One time, before I cut my hair, it was in a ponytail and I curled the ends to give it more body. I was going to a friend's house for a gathering. One of my friends came up to me, gave me a hug, and SHOVED her hand all up inside my ponytail! Then proceeded to ask me "are you sure that's not a weave?" I told her know and continued to ignore her. But all the while I was smiling inside, knowing her jealous a$$ was trying to find something to hate on me for & my hair STILL looked good. I just kept swinging it, letting her admire from afar.

Are you sure this girl was your FRIEND?


I have been asked the question (but did have a weave at the time) and was not offended. It can seem to be a bit nosey....but just put yourself in the girls shoes who is clueless about haircare whose hair keeps breaking and doesn't seem to grow. Maybe from what they saw with their personal experiences and from the people they know with similar hair types they feel that people with their hair type just can't grow hair. They probably really want to know what you do to your hair but are too afraid to ask. Maybe they just need to visit www.longhaircareforum.com to see for themselves

I do however agree that it also depends on the tone in which they ask you the question (and if they are touching your hair without your premission). And how they respond to your answer.

 

[Faith]

I find it offensive when I'm asked ONLY BECAUSE I'm black. It's so ignorant...

 

[blessed]

I have mixed feels about statements like that. First I was happy that my hair looked so healthy that people thought it was a weave. But haters can be rude and try to embarrass you or they put their hands in your hair just to make sure your not lying to them( which can really hurt and damage your hair when you have hair spray in it). That kind of dumb stuff makes me mad.

 

[daedae157]

i don't find it offensive unless they put their hands in my hair :/ when i used to rock an afro (for 4 years) people used to always ask if i was wearing a wig. when i went to the restroom at bj's resteraunt, one lady (at my junior homecoming) didn't believe that my afro was real, so she dug her fingers through my hair and patted down my fro!!! arrrghhh! i wanted to smack her.(lord please forgive me, i'm just being honest!) after she was satified w/ jacking up my hair, she whispers under her breath "i guess it is real". i didn't even know this *****! i had never seen her before in my life! i still go through the stupid "is that all you hair?" questions when i go to the beauty supply store; but now i know how to duck and move before they try and touch my hair...it's extremely rude if someone asks, but it's just ignorant to run your fingers through someone's hair w/out even asking their permission!!!!

 

[misscrystal]

It doesn't bother me to be asked if my hair is real. It bothers me when I say, "yes" and the person proceeds to put their hands in my head. THAT mess offends me.

 

[Denim And Leather]

Ok, I last posted that I find it extremely offensive if someone ask a black woman if her hair is a weave or not.

While I still feel that way, at the same time, I can see how I would take it as a compliment, because it would show that I must be doing something right with my hair, so my position on this has changed a little.

 

[brownhaired_bonanza]

Not at all..... it's one of the highest forms of a compliment, to me. But maybe im just a weirdo. *shrug*

ITA. I like it when someone asks me if it's really my hair. Makes me feel pretty dern' good.

 

[PaperClip]

It doesn't bother me to be asked if my hair is real. It bothers me when I say, "yes" and the person proceeds to put their hands in my head. THAT mess offends me.

Well, if they're putting their hands in your hair, that's considered TRESSPASSING and then it becomes a legal matter (assault! )

The FEW times I've been asked about my hair (it's "realness", the "enhancements", etc.), I have not been offended, partly because I believe folks are genuinely curious... but then there are others who try to put you on blast, and then you gotta recognize that they are projecting their insecurities.... I like educating people... so if a person who believes Black hair can't grow and grow long, well now that paradigm has been broken. If a person believes that a good weave can't be achieved, well now we see that's a lie.... It's all good....

 

[*ElleB]

First of all, i think it is an obnoxious question to ask someone who you do not know.....But I take it as a compliment! I love to see people's faces when I say "No"

 

[HighlyFavored1]

I've only been asked a few times, but I guess it kind of makes me uncomfortable. If I work hard on my hair I'd rather people know that it's my own work...

But a few weeks ago I was driving my coworker home and she reached over and yanked on my hair. Obviously, I screamed in pain and asked her what she was doing, she laughed and said she was trying to see if it was real. She's a good person and I'm trying to believe that she didn't mean any harm but I still can't understand what made her do that. Plus, it hurt!! Dang, thinking about is making me wonder what's wrong with her?!

 

[An_Original_Copy]

Well I DO wear a weave but when I take it out and wash my real hair, my mom will ask me "Is that the weave or your real hair?" My weave is long so to me this is a compliment if she thinks my hair greatly resembles the weave itself!

 

[sareca]

Not at all..... it's one of the highest forms of a compliment, to me. But maybe im just a weirdo. *shrug*

Nope, you're not alone. To me it's like saying, your hair looks so good it's unreal. But, I'd probably be ticked if I did have a weave and they asked.

 

[Blackbird77]

I just got asked that question this now by a white co-worker. Didn't bother me. I never get asked this question by a black person. By the way, I'm still doing my baggie challenge under this phony pony.

 

[Ayeshia]

Doesnt bother me at all. Now if I tell them no and then they still insist that it is, then I get annoyed. With all of the new afro pony pieces and weaves coming out I often get asked if my hair is a sew in.

 

[Lucie]

when someone ask you if you have a weave?
I have been asked this question when I have had a weave and when I have had my natural hair down.

Personally I find it is very offensive if I really don't know you and if you ask me in public...I feel like it's nobody's business, if it looks good what difference does it really make?

Just wanted other people's opinion...

No, I do not. I have even had someone ask me if my hair was a wig I used to sport a cute bob and I guess the thickness of my hair might have appeared wiggish.

The only time I would be offended is if the person asking me, said it with a tone, like they want to be right that my hair is not natural.