Do you ever feel bad for your single girlfriends?

[lisatamika]

My BFF is an attractive, educated, intelligent woman who just cannot for the life of her find anybody worthwhile to settle down with. Sometimes she is cool with the fact that she has no real prospects for marriage, but then sometimes it gets to her. She has high standards and wants somebody who is on her level or better, which I don’t think is too much to ask.

A good looking guy to go on a couple of dates with is easy to come by for her, but when it comes down to finding out what they are really about, there’s always something: either he’s broke, dumb, psycho, suspect or all of the above It’s too the point now that I am almost as frustrated as she is

The thing I do admire about her though, is that she does not waste time. Once she meets someone, talks to him/goes out with him enough to figure out that it’s not gonna work, she’s done. She doesn’t try to hold on to someone just for the sake of having somebody.

Do you ever feel bad for your single girlfriends who want what you have?

 

[Bunny77]

^^^Have you ever introduced her to any of your DH's single friends or any decent single men you might know?

(I know, that's not what you asked, but that was the first thought that entered my mind! I'm a proponent of matchmaking... if the person is open to it!)

 

[Taliah]

Sounds like a common dilemma for the female single attractive, educated and intelligent catch.

Always trying to find someone on her level.

 

[natural2008]

My sister is the same way. I feel sorry for her because she is beautiful and all of the above.

 

[TheseStankyLegs]

No, more like jealous of them.

 

[MizzBrown]

I don't.

If you have high standards and you want to find that diamond in the rough then sometimes you just have to be prepared to play the waiting game.

Sometimes good things don't come that easy. Sometimes.

 

[locabouthair]

You said she has high standards.

What are her standards if you don't mind me asking.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Is she open to dating men of all ethnicities?

 

[Kurlee]

yes and no. yes because there are slim pickins out there and no because many of them have unrealistic superficial expectations

 

[scorpio70]

^^^Have you ever introduced her to any of your DH's single friends or any decent single men you might know?

(I know, that's not what you asked, but that was the first thought that entered my mind! I'm a proponent of matchmaking... if the person is open to it!)

This is a great question! I made a comment to one of my BFFs that has a man, that when our girls find a guy, they focus so much on keeping him that they surely aren't thinking about hooking the singletons up with any of the friends.

 

[Country gal]

yes and no. yes because there are slim pickins out there and no because many of them have unrealistic superficial expectations

Further explanation needed please

 

[ThickHair]

How do you know she wants your pity?

 

[MizzBrown]

yes and no. yes because there are slim pickins out there and no because many of them have unrealistic superficial expectations

Hmm...i would complain to my male friend about slim pickins and he told me to go give him ALL my dealbreakers and expectations out of a man..which included me NOT wanting to date outside my race.

After he looked over my list he said I have about a 20% chance of finding someone and getting married. Even LESS if I never move out of my town.

Unrealistic Superficial Expectations is right.

 

[Kurlee]

Hmm...i would complain to my male friend about slim pickins and he told me to go give him ALL my dealbreakers and expectations out of a man..which included me NOT wanting to date outside my race.

After he looked over my list he said I have about a 20% chance of finding someone and getting married. Even LESS if I never move out of my town.

Unrealistic Superficial Expectations is right.

Further explanation needed please

They just don't understand that you have to take the good with the bad. They want sooooooooooooooo much and they don';t have much to give. The way I see it, if you are uneducated and working in the mall, don't expect to only date educated professional dudes, who are making six figures +. If you are on the bus or live at home and then get mad if dude is not driving a lexus and owns a 3000 s ft. home with a triple garage. I don't care who you are, thats unrealistic. You can't be in the club every week and then want a stable man, who keeps his tail quiet. Just so many double standards. Then, when they meet someone worthwhile, they find the most miniscule thing wrong. GTFOOhWTBS!

And let's not forget alllll the superficial physical attributes, the man must have a certain, height, build, peen size, complexion, hair type, eye, nose and lip size/shape. It's all too much.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

I don't feel bad at all. During my looooooong stretch of singledom, I never hated on my friends happy relationship.

 

[basketballbabe03]

yes and no. yes because there are slim pickins out there and no because many of them have unrealistic superficial expectations

This is how my friends are. Their expectations are through the roof and then wonder why they are single. To make it worse, when some of my friends go out and a guy tries to talk to them, they will completely write him off instead of giving the man a chance. Then they wonder why they didn't meet anyone when we went out...

I personally had to lower my expectations. I had to realize that I could be missing out on a good guy if I was too worried about what degrees they have or if they make as much or more money than me. As long as they have goals and I see that they are working towards them, then that's fine with me.

 

[ThickHair]

I told my one male friend that I wanted an honest, hardworking, stable, faithful man. He said I wanted too much. I told him I only want attributes that I could match. It's not like I was getting superficial and wanted a man with $$$$, and 10 inches. He said I would find one of those with 10 inches before finding one with my long list of attributes. WTH, long list, I have many more but those were the only one's I told him.

I told him that is why he could only be my friend talkin that smack. We laughed and went to Rita's.

 

[noemi]

Depends. The ones who can't for the life of them find a man usually I can pinpoint the reason if it isn't expectations it's because of other issues that they don't want to address like being negative or some other serious flaw everybody sees about them. As for the others I don't because I know it's just a matter of time before they take the next step.

 

[lisatamika]

^^^Have you ever introduced her to any of your DH's single friends or any decent single men you might know?

(I know, that's not what you asked, but that was the first thought that entered my mind! I'm a proponent of matchmaking... if the person is open to it!)

I wish it was that easy. We've been friends for so long that she knows just about everybody I know (or at least knows OF them) and, unfortunately, DH doesn't have any friends that I think would be a good match for her.

 

[lisatamika]

I don't.

If you have high standards and you want to find that diamond in the rough then sometimes you just have to be prepared to play the waiting game.

Sometimes good things don't come that easy. Sometimes.

True. But at what point do you settle, if ever?erplexed

 

[thatscuteright]

...............................................................................................................................

 

[lisatamika]

You said she has high standards.

What are her standards if you don't mind me asking.

Some are a good job with a good income, education, God-fearing, respectful, intelligent, honest, strictly heterosexual/no feminine mannerisms, straight/white teeth, handsome, tall, preferrably a property owner.

 

[lisatamika]

Is she open to dating men of all ethnicities?

Yep ..................

 

[lisatamika]

How do you know she wants your pity?

She doesn't. She's not asking for it. But I can't help but feel sad for her because she wants a husband and family so bad.

 

[lisatamika]

They just don't understand that you have to take the good with the bad. They want sooooooooooooooo much and they don';t have much to give. The way I see it, if you are uneducated and working in the mall, don't expect to only date educated professional dudes, who are making six figures +. If you are on the bus or live at home and then get mad if dude is not driving a lexus and owns a 3000 s ft. home with a triple garage. I don't care who you are, thats unrealistic. You can't be in the club every week and then want a stable man, who keeps his tail quiet. Just so many double standards. Then, when they meet someone worthwhile, they find the most miniscule thing wrong. GTFOOhWTBS!

And let's not forget alllll the superficial physical attributes, the man must have a certain, height, build, peen size, complexion, hair type, eye, nose and lip size/shape. It's all too much.

I know what you are saying, but I think she does have a lot to offer somebody.

 

[Highly Favored8]

No, I do not feel bad for her if and only if she choose to be single. However, if she did not choose to be single and wanted to be in a realtionship or married then yes, I will try to help her get focused on getting into a realtionship.

 

[lisatamika]

I don't feel bad at all. During my looooooong stretch of singledom, I never hated on my friends happy relationship.

She doesn't hate on it. I have never felt any jealousy from her. I just know she wants it too.

 

[lisatamika]

Depends. The ones who can't for the life of them find a man usually I can pinpoint the reason if it isn't expectations it's because of other issues that they don't want to address like being negative or some other serious flaw everybody sees about them. As for the others I don't because I know it's just a matter of time before they take the next step.

I can usually pinpoint a reason too, but I don't have one for her.

What's the next step?

 

[noemi]

I can usually pinpoint a reason too, but I don't have one for her.

What's the next step?

For some its just when they are ready. They are dating a few guys or have one "main" one and when they are ready to marry and settle down it usually happens. They are the ones that are single as in "not married" not single as in "not in a relationship." Some of them knew marriage was right around the corner and has tried to postpone it for whatever reason, but the man was waiting on them, not the other way around.

I try to help the ones that can't get a relationship, but some dont want help or its pointless.

 

[LivingDoll]

For some its just when they are ready. They are dating a few guys or have one "main" one and when they are ready to marry and settle down it usually happens. They are the ones that are single as in "not married" not single as in "not in a relationship." Some of them knew marriage was right around the corner and has tried to postpone it for whatever reason, but the man was waiting on them, not the other way around.

I try to help the ones that can't get a relationship, but some dont want help or its pointless.

Can you help me?