Do you and your SO sleep in the same bed?

[Heavenly]

Or do you have separate beds? I'm talking specifically to those who are otherwise in a healthy relationship, not fighting or on the verge of divorce.

Hub and I do not share the same bed, but we are happy as can be. He snores and I am a light sleeper. Also my nightlight was bothering him to all heck and gone. So I told him one day that we have to do something about the situation or one of us is going to lose it bigtime.

So he relocated to a spare bedroom and is very happy. We still ver18: ... in fact more now than before... because I'm not irritable anymore for lack of sleep.

The master bedroom is now the madam bedroom and he 'visits' me.

Anyone else doing this sorta thing?

 

[Bene]

My b/f and I didn't end up sleeping in separate rooms because of his snoring, but I did end up buying an asian style sleeping mattress and camping out on the floor with earplugs in because of his snoring. It got to the point where I'd stay up at night fantasizing about smothering him with a pillow. It was really really bad.


I got him one of these and it pretty much made his snoring go away altogether. I think you guys already have your routine set out, but I think this would be handy to anyone else who shares a house with a snorer.

 

[Vshanell]

Great thread, can't wait to see more responses.

 

[Raine054]

Or do you have separate beds? I'm talking specifically to those who are otherwise in a healthy relationship, not fighting or on the verge of divorce.

Hub and I do not share the same bed, but we are happy as can be. He snores and I am a light sleeper. Also my nightlight was bothering him to all heck and gone. So I told him one day that we have to do something about the situation or one of us is going to lose it bigtime.

So he relocated to a spare bedroom and is very happy. We still ver18: ... in fact more now than before... because I'm not irritable anymore for lack of sleep.

The master bedroom is now the madam bedroom and he 'visits' me.

Anyone else doing this sorta thing?

My guy and I sleep in the same bad but I must say that I admire the level of comfort you have about the issue.

I know someone who has the same arrangement and it took them quite some time to get comfortable enough to talk about it without feeling embarrassed.

Love doesn't begin and end with where you sleep.

 

[krikit96]

Me and my husband share a bed. We've been married for 4 years next week.
So, he is actually extremely heavier than he was before, so he takes up most of our Queen size bed... and he snores like a hibernating bear...

That being said, before our 3rd child was born, we had a guest room. I had a full size double pillow top that I LOVED in that room. Sometimes I would go sleep in there, just to get some sleep! LOL!!! He would come in and check on me if he woke up and I wasn't there with him... sometimes he'd spend the night...

Sometimes he'd go in there to watch TV if he wanted to lay down but didn't want to disturb me with turning on the TV in OUR bedroom... and then sometimes I'd go visit him and spend the night...

I don't think there is anything wrong with it if the rest of your relationship is healthy. Now if you are constantly at each others throats, and you want to sleep seperately because you can't STAND each other, then that's a different story.

 

[Heavenly]

Bumping for more responses!

 

[-Kąditty-]

We sleep in the same bed. We both sleep most comfortable when together. Granted, my husband does not snore very often. On one of the few occasions that he did snore, it was soooo loud and annoying that I wanted to slap the sleep out of him so I can definitely understand moving to a new bed.

 

[Amour]

Me and my husband share a bed. We've been married for 4 years next week.
So, he is actually extremely heavier than he was before, so he takes up most of our Queen size bed... and he snores like a hibernating bear...

That being said, before our 3rd child was born, we had a guest room. I had a full size double pillow top that I LOVED in that room. Sometimes I would go sleep in there, just to get some sleep! LOL!!! He would come in and check on me if he woke up and I wasn't there with him... sometimes he'd spend the night...

Sometimes he'd go in there to watch TV if he wanted to lay down but didn't want to disturb me with turning on the TV in OUR bedroom... and then sometimes I'd go visit him and spend the night...

I don't think there is anything wrong with it if the rest of your relationship is healthy. Now if you are constantly at each others throats, and you want to sleep seperately because you can't STAND each other, then that's a different story.

I like this post

 

[pookaloo83]

Me and DH sleep in the same bed. He says I snore. He's a light sleeper, but since we've had DD he's becoming a harder sleeper. DD still sleeps in the middle of us most nights.

 

[Heavenly]

Me and DH sleep in the same bed. He says I snore. He's a light sleeper, but since we've had DD he's becoming a harder sleeper. DD still sleeps in the middle of us most nights.

Hub and I were great sleeping partners until the kiddies came along. Our schedules changed, my circadian rythyms changed... he started snoring. I was going nuts... and irritable as all heck. Forget about that time of the month. H*ll hath never seen such fury. We had to do something.

We started our current arrangement about 1 year ago. Best thing we ever did.

 

[spritex]

The hubs and I sleep in seperate rooms too.
Very similar situation to yours.^^^
I used to be a good sleeper- out by 11pm, refreshed and bushy tailed by 6 or 7am. Things changed big time after the kids came along. My sleep pattern and depth of sleep got shot to pieces and never quite recovered. Now I need TOTAL silence and darkness to sleep. The slightest noise gets me up and whats worse I find it hard to go back to sleep. Hubs snores and after one too many broken nights we came to this arrangement - it works out fine. He has always snored and it never bothered me till the kids came along.
There is actually research out there to show that couples who sleep apart are healthier. Apparently it is somewhat unnatural, given different body chemistry, rhythms etc to sleep in the same bed...
I'll try to find it.

 

[Heavenly]

The hubs and I sleep in seperate rooms too.
Very similar situation to yours.^^^
I used to be a good sleeper- out by 11pm, refreshed and bushy tailed by 6 or 7am. Things changed big time after the kids came along. My sleep pattern and depth of sleep got shot to pieces and never quite recovered. Now I need TOTAL silence and darkness to sleep. The slightest noise gets me up and whats worse I find it hard to go back to sleep. Hubs snores and after one too many broken nights we came to this arrangement - it works out fine. He has always snored and it never bothered me till the kids came along.
There is actually research out there to show that couples who sleep apart are healthier. Apparently it is somewhat unnatural, given different body chemistry, rhythms etc to sleep in the same bed...
I'll try to find it.

Agreed! I've always thought this...

I'm looking forward to the info!

 

[spritex]

Here it is: (From BBC site)

Bed sharing 'bad for your health'

Sharing a bed may not be conducive for sleep
Couples should consider sleeping apart for the good of their health and relationship, say experts.

Sleep specialist Dr Neil Stanley told the British Science Festival how bed sharing can cause rows over snoring and duvet-hogging and robs precious sleep.

One study found that, on average, couples suffered 50% more sleep disturbances if they shared a bed.

Dr Stanley, who sleeps separately from his wife, points out that historically we were never meant to share our beds.

He said the modern tradition of the marital bed only began with the industrial revolution, when people moving to overcrowded towns and cities found themselves short of living space.

If you've been sleeping together and you both sleep perfectly well, then don't change, but don't be afraid to do something different

Dr Neil Stanley
Read your comments
Before the Victorian era it was not uncommon for married couples to sleep apart. In ancient Rome, the marital bed was a place for sexual congress but not for sleeping.

Dr Stanley, who set up one of Britain's leading sleep laboratories at the University of Surrey, said the people of today should consider doing the same.

"It's about what makes you happy. If you've been sleeping together and you both sleep perfectly well, then don't change, but don't be afraid to do something different.

"We all know what it's like to have a cuddle and then say 'I'm going to sleep now' and go to the opposite side of the bed. So why not just toddle off down the landing?"

Tossing and turning

He said poor sleep was linked to depression, heart disease, strokes, lung disorders, traffic and industrial accidents, and divorce, yet sleep was largely ignored as an important aspect of health.

Dr Robert Meadows, a sociologist at the University of Surrey, said: "People actually feel that they sleep better when they are with a partner but the evidence suggests otherwise."

He carried out a study to compare how well couples slept when they shared a bed versus sleeping separately.

Based on 40 couples, he found that when couples share a bed and one of them moves in his or her sleep, there is a 50% chance that their slumbering partner will be disturbed as a result.

Despite this, couples are reluctant to sleep apart, with only 8% of those in their 40s and 50s sleeping in separate rooms, the British Science Festival heard.

 

[Seeking8Rights]

After almost 7 years of marriage my husband is now on board with me about sleeping in seperate beds. My snoring really affects him getting good sleep, but it was a matter of getting past the perception that couples who don't sleep in the same bed are not happily married.

Don't know how it will end up, but we are definately going to try it soon.

 

[Nayeli]

Sounds like its working incredibly well for you! That in and of itself is your best answer. I like this thread btw.

 

[Heavenly]

Here it is: (From BBC site)

Bed sharing 'bad for your health'

Sharing a bed may not be conducive for sleep
Couples should consider sleeping apart for the good of their health and relationship, say experts.

Sleep specialist Dr Neil Stanley told the British Science Festival how bed sharing can cause rows over snoring and duvet-hogging and robs precious sleep.

One study found that, on average, couples suffered 50% more sleep disturbances if they shared a bed.

Dr Stanley, who sleeps separately from his wife, points out that historically we were never meant to share our beds.

He said the modern tradition of the marital bed only began with the industrial revolution, when people moving to overcrowded towns and cities found themselves short of living space.

If you've been sleeping together and you both sleep perfectly well, then don't change, but don't be afraid to do something different

Dr Neil Stanley
Read your comments
Before the Victorian era it was not uncommon for married couples to sleep apart. In ancient Rome, the marital bed was a place for sexual congress but not for sleeping.

Dr Stanley, who set up one of Britain's leading sleep laboratories at the University of Surrey, said the people of today should consider doing the same.

"It's about what makes you happy. If you've been sleeping together and you both sleep perfectly well, then don't change, but don't be afraid to do something different.

"We all know what it's like to have a cuddle and then say 'I'm going to sleep now' and go to the opposite side of the bed. So why not just toddle off down the landing?"

Tossing and turning

He said poor sleep was linked to depression, heart disease, strokes, lung disorders, traffic and industrial accidents, and divorce, yet sleep was largely ignored as an important aspect of health.

Dr Robert Meadows, a sociologist at the University of Surrey, said: "People actually feel that they sleep better when they are with a partner but the evidence suggests otherwise."

He carried out a study to compare how well couples slept when they shared a bed versus sleeping separately.

Based on 40 couples, he found that when couples share a bed and one of them moves in his or her sleep, there is a 50% chance that their slumbering partner will be disturbed as a result.

Despite this, couples are reluctant to sleep apart, with only 8% of those in their 40s and 50s sleeping in separate rooms, the British Science Festival heard.

Great info, Spritex.

I never questioned the whole sleeping together aspect until I started suffering problems because of it. My parents shared the same bed until my dad passed away, so I figured that is how its supposed to be.

Now that I think about it, my mom used to complain all the time about my dad's snoring... but she never contemplated sleeping apart from him. I guess the older folks just put up with a lot more.

I guess I have zero patience for select situations.

Anyone else who is joined at the hip with their SO, but sleeps solo?

 

[LBoogie]

DH and I sleep in the same bed. I had the hardest time going to sleep when he's on travel. I get the best sleep in my nook (face in armpit. lol) and he loves sleeping "up on my thang." lol. We've never slept apart under the same roof.

 

[LeftRightRepeat]

My dh snores up a storm, but my bed is very comfy and neither of us wants to leave it i think..lol.

if i do sleep in another bed in the house, i don't sleep as well.

 

[Arcadian]

if SO is snoring really bad(he snores on his SIDE!) yeah I have to go to the guest room.

I've talked about us sleeping apart permanently and he gets a little weird about it. Not like he can't visit but I think he feels like he won't be able to get it as easy, you know?


-A

 

[acapnleo]

DH and I sleep in the same bed. I had the hardest time going to sleep when he's on travel. I get the best sleep in my nook (face in armpit. lol) and he loves sleeping "up on my thang." lol. We've never slept apart under the same roof.

armpit????

 

[Heavenly]

if SO is snoring really bad(he snores on his SIDE!) yeah I have to go to the guest room.

I've talked about us sleeping apart permanently and he gets a little weird about it. Not like he can't visit but I think he feels like he won't be able to get it as easy, you know?


-A

I hear you. My hub had a similar fear, but I made it perfectly clear to him that I'm open for business whenever he wants.

 

[Chromia]

I saw a news story on this a few years ago - on CNN or MSNBC, I think. They talked about how it's becoming more common for married couples to have separate bedrooms and they profiled a couple who does that.

I heard somewhere - I think it was on the John Tesh Radio Show - that people sleep better when they sleep alone. Their sleep is less disturbed, deeper, etc.

I remember Ann Landers recommending to a married couple to buy 2 beds and push them together instead of sleeping in 1 bed. If I remember correctly their problem was one person tossing and turning.

I don't have an SO but I understand why 2 people in a happy relationship would want separate bedrooms. I personally would hate to wake up to someone else's alarm, or snoring, or coughing if they caught a cold.

Also, when I wake up in the morning and sometimes when I go to bed at night I like to listen to the radio for anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour. I've been doing that since I was about 11 years old and I would hate to stop. I had a roommate in college who asked me not to do that and I was like .

 

[fmnnity]

I think it's kind of sexy. I can't really explain it. It's like you're putting a little (just a tiny bit) of distance between you. You can't take the closest for granted this way. I like it. I wish I had a better way to describe what I think but I think it's cool if it works for you.

 

[-Volare]

Interesting thread!!

 

[LBoogie]

armpit????

Girl yes, my face fits perfectly in that space between his chest and pit...it's my nook. My face isn't actually nuzzled up in the pit.

 

[Michelle1971]

This is definitely an interesting thread...the only time that I do not sleep with my dh is when I am sick and I am up all nite coughing. He has to get up early to go to work and I leave so he can get his sleep
I couldn't imagine not sleeping in the same bed as him. However, on most nights, I go to sleep several hours after he does so we are maybe in the same bed 4 hours a nite together...I am glad the arrangement is working out for you OP.

 

[robot.]

Girl yes, my face fits perfectly in that space between his chest and pit...it's my nook. My face isn't actually nuzzled up in the pit.

I think I know what you mean; like not on his shoulder, but right below it. There's a little dip there where the joints meet and your head fits perfectly, right?

But what you mean "up in your thang"? Spooning? My SO likes to sleep with his head square on one tidday and I have none. But I like spooning too, especially when his arms are around me tight.


As for OP, SO and I don't sleep together often, but when we do, I love it. His weight and warmth is so comforting and even my naps are so deep.

 

[LBoogie]

I think I know what you mean; like not on his shoulder, but right below it. There's a little dip there where the joints meet and your head fits perfectly, right?

But what you mean "up in your thang"? Spooning? My SO likes to sleep with his head square on one tidday and I have none. But I like spooning too, especially when his arms are around me tight.


As for OP, SO and I don't sleep together often, but when we do, I love it. His weight and warmth is so comforting and even my naps are so deep.

Yeaaaah, that little dip.

On my thang = spooning.

When he's ready to go to sleep and get on my thang, he just says "lay right." That means it's time for me to assume the spoon. LOL.

 

[infojunkie]

My DH and I have been married for 10 years (and lived together for 3 years prior to that). We did not actually make a conscious effort to stop sleeping together. My first 2 pregnancies miscarried and I had a lot of complications with my third (my first son). I was only comfortable sleeping on a diagonal. He didn't wanna sleep on the couch or in another bedroom in case I went into distress and needed him. So he made a pallet on the floor.

Well, when baby came the crib we ordered wasn't in yet and I was nursing. I didn't want him to roll over on "my" baby so he slept on the floor. When I found out it was bothering him I told him to get off the floor so he went to the sofa. When we got a daybed then he went on to that.

Later, his work hours changed. He was in the bed during the day and I didn't want to disturb him.

When I had baby #2, I was worried about baby #1 so DH slept with mommy's big boy.

Now, baby #3 sleeps with me, numbers 1 and 2 sleep together, and DH sleeps all over the house! LOL!!!

I'm sure when we put the boys in the new bed and #3 leaves me (can't imagine when that will be since my tubes are tied now) something else squirrelly will go down. Who knows, maybe I'll have the bed all to myself! Who knows?





Or I can only hope...

ETA: I don't take time to explain all of this to people so they are forever looking for us to be divorced soon. LOL!!!

 

[Zawaj]

I was just discussing this topic with my bff. My husband and I sleep together most nights but since my son has been born I often time sleep in the nursery. My husband gets up super duper early and I don't want to have him jarred out of sleep by Zach's cry so I sleep apart sometimes. Our relationship is good and it doesn't effect the sex life so I don't mind at all. Actually I would mind having my own room to spread put my make up and hair stuff! Lol

*I'm pretty sure there was a post on this very topic a couple of years ago. I'll do a proper search when I'm not logged in from my phone.