Do You Accept?

[Browndilocks]

There's a guy you've been on a few dates with but you're not exclusive. You go to an event with him. You take pictures together. He posts them on IG/FB. You get a friend request from his mother. You've never met her. Do you accept?

 

[hopeful]

I would ignore the request until I met her and knew we liked each other. But I'm fickle about my FB page. Some people are more whatever. I consider my page as a space for real friends and people that I know.

 

[Anacaona]

At this stage? Nope! Off to the land of friend request purgatory until I meet her, AND like her. You can even play the coy "Oh, you sent me a friend request? I hardly ever go on facebook!" game

 

[**SaSSy**]

no

 

[qchelle]

Hell no.
Absolutely not.

 

[LoveLiLi]

No. And I'd tell him to remove my pics if we're not exclusive.

 

[Foxglove]

Nope! Leave it hanging in the pending bucket forever

 

[topsyturvy86]

Noooo... It took me months to accept even my own mother on Facebook

 

[hopeful]

Noooo... It took me months to accept even my own mother on Facebook

My daughter did the same thing to me! I was like Really? She's so glad she finally friended me, I'm her most loyal and dependable friend after all.

 

[Foxglove]

Noooo... It took me months to accept even my own mother on Facebook

I refuse to friend my mom. Nope.

 

[hopeful]

I refuse to friend my mom. Nope.

 

[Browndilocks]

I agree with you all. Normally I'd do just what you suggested, however he knows about the friend request. When I saw the request I asked who she was. He was like "Oh that's my mother" like nothing.

Would I be creating a big fat elephant if I just ignored her request and never said anything about it to him? I have a feeling if I don't accept the request she'll eventually ask him why, which would in turn cause awkwardness between us.

I am a smart woman but it's the little things like this that seem to trip up my conscience and I somehow get sucked into situations I really don't want to be in. The anticipation of pressure and guilt and wanting to avoid it. I'm trying to do better.

 

[hopeful]

Don't over worry about it. Just plan ahead then on how you want to respond. Be creative. All kinds of reasons for not accepting that wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings. Honestly they are both being kind of pushy but meh let them do them and you do you and see where things go. But don't let him or her make you feel badly about being more private or moving more slowly.

 

[LiftedUp]

It depends. If I really like her son then yes I'd friend her. Let her peruse my page. She'll like what she sees

 

[prettyinpurple]

Nope. In the future, don't add people on social media so soon either. If you hadn't friend-ed him then this problem wouldn't exist.

 

[Browndilocks]

I refuse to friend my mom. Nope.

I just accepted my grandmother after like 2 years lol.

 

[Browndilocks]

Don't over worry about it. Just plan ahead then on how you want to respond. Be creative. All kinds of reasons for not accepting that wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings. Honestly they are both being kind of pushy but meh let them do them and you do you and see where things go. But don't let him or her make you feel badly about being more private or moving more slowly.

See this is why I need you lol.

 

[Browndilocks]

Nope. In the future, don't add people on social media so soon either. If you hadn't friend-ed him then this problem wouldn't exist.

He's someone I've known for a long time. We were already friends.

 

[Mai Tai]

I would let her friend request sit in pending and when asked, would completely play dumb like I totally forgot. Folks crack me up acting like just because they sent a request that you have to accept it right away. I once had a coworker that would post pics of her and her husband/family then question me as to why I didn't "like" the photo. I straight up laughed in her face...

 

[mzpurp]

She's going to be all up and through your pictures!! Put her on limited profile viewing. Go into your settings and you can set whatever you want her to see on your profile.

 

[Keen]

@ all of you won't didn't accept your own parent FB request. I didn't accept my Dad's. I don't know why. I barely post on FB.

 

[lisatamika]

There's a guy you've been on a few dates with but you're not exclusive. You go to an event with him. You take pictures together. He posts them on IG/FB. You get a friend request from his mother. You've never met her. Do you accept?

:?

 

[QueenAmaka]

Friend her but put her on the restricted list. She'll only see what you share publicly. I used to do this with coworkers that sent me friend requests. That way my pics and things I only wanted to share with closer friends stayed private.

 

[Browndilocks]

No. And I'd tell him to remove my pics if we're not exclusive.

Why? I usually don't have a problem posting pics with guys who are just the homies. It's when I'm in a relationship that I don't like to post too many pics. He's clearly not tryina be the homie tho.

 

[LoveLiLi]

Why? I usually don't have a problem posting pics with guys who are just the homies. It's when I'm in a relationship that I don't like to post too many pics. He's clearly not tryina be the homie tho.

The original post gave me the idea he was a romantic interest, not a long time friend. So it came across as super weird and clingy.

If the pics were friendly, no heart eyes or comments making it seem like we were together then it wouldn't be a big deal.

Generally, I wouldn't want any man posting pics that could be taken out of context when I'm actively dating or looking.

But I don't typically allow people to post pics of me. I like to feel in control of anything with my image.

 

[hopeful]

Friend her but put her on the restricted list. She'll only see what you share publicly. I used to do this with coworkers that sent me friend requests. That way my pics and things I only wanted to share with closer friends stayed private.

Ha! Then the guy will be like hey mom did you see ____ that Browndilocks posted . And she'll be like que? Now that would hurt her feelings. But seriously that is a good idea.

 

[MrsMe]

I like my MIL and her sisters but they're not my friends on Facebook despite multiple requests. I don't post anything personal on Facebook but I still don't want them in my business.

 

[God_Favor]

Nope .

 

[QueenAmaka]

Ha! Then the guy will be like hey mom did you see ____ that Browndilocks posted . And she'll be like que? Now that would hurt her feelings. But seriously that is a good idea.

You know what? I didn't even think of that lol

 

[Browndilocks]

The original post gave me the idea he was a romantic interest, not a long time friend. So it came across as super weird and clingy.

If the pics were friendly, no heart eyes or comments making it seem like we were together then it wouldn't be a big deal.

Generally, I wouldn't want any man posting pics that could be taken out of context when I'm actively dating or looking.

But I don't typically allow people to post pics of me. I like to feel in control of anything with my image.

I've known him for a long time and he's also a romantic interest. @ the bolded, yes I normally feel the way you do. This time for some reason was different. When he posted the pics he was really enthusiastic & happy. It honestly felt nice to have the man doing the posting & commenting on the good time he was having. That hasn't happened in a while so my attitude was shoot- let him do it then.