Do Natural Hair Women Get Hit On?

[DrC]

A mans opinion about Black Women and Natural Hair

http://www.singleblackmale.org/2011/01/03/do-natural-hair-women-get-hit-on/

Johanisha Jones: “I don’t feel pretty.”
SBM: “What? Why would you say that?”
JJ: “My hair. Ever since I went natural, guys don’t hit on me like they used to.”
SBM: “I’m not surprised.”
JJ: “I hate this stupid European sense of beauty!!! Why does my hair have to be straight and flowing!”
SBM: “Well, that is one major reason, but I think there is more to it.”
JJ: “Excuse me?”
SBM: “I think a lot of guys are less likely to approach a natural hair chic … they aren’t as receptive.”
JJ: “EXCUSE ME!!!”
SBM: “Calm down, calm down. That isn’t sexy.”
JJ: “Why does me having natural hair make me less approachable?”
SBM: “Hoes have perms.”
JJ: **puzzled look**
SBM: “Think about the hoes you know …”
JJ: **puzzled look turning into understanding and anger** “Damn these hoes!”
Just to clarify … not all hoes have perms. And just because you have a perm … doesn’t mean you are a hoe.

Life is often (sadly) determined by stereotypes and preconceived notions. If you are black, someone might offer you some watermelon and chicken, and then assume you will curse them the f* out in an uncontrollable black rage. Al Sharpton. Yeah … stereotypes can suck, [STRIKED OUT] except for that free watermelon and chicken.[STRIKED OUT]

Lets take a second to define “natural hair wearers”. This is actually involves talks of the African Diaspora, the hair industry, and the European model of beauty. Since I have no desire to talk about all that sh* … we’ll just stick with Afro, Dreads, or a Caesar, looks that are free of chemical or heat processing. Basically … something that Erykah Badu or india Arie would rock. (Please let’s not focus on the definition)

In order to ascertain a set of stereotypes that apply to this group, I reached out to the official SBM Research Laboratory. An organization dedicated to improving relations between black men and women everywhere. After an extensive investigation process involving [STRIKED OUT]surveys, background research interviews,[STRIKED OUT] and talks with academics me sitting at a computer and thinking “hmmmm”, SBM RL has compiled the following list.

Connected to the struggle
High Self Confidence
High Value of Sense

The best way to think about this, use music. Think about the “hoes” of hip-hop. Lil Kim, Nicki Minaj, Trina … what kind of hair are they rocking. And when you think of the natural hair wearers, Badu, Arie, Jill Scott, what are they singing about? Pretty sure you are not gonna catch them on the “Freaky Gurl” Remix or yelling “5 Star *****”.

So what does this have to do with who guys approach?

Think about the average guy who is hitting on a girl … he wants p*ssy. Sure, he may be looking for a girlfriend and wife, but that usually isn’t a man’s first thought. That comes later. When he is yelling “hey you … with the ass” from across the street, he is trying to beat … not meet your dad.

Now, we all know that[STRIKED OUT] hoes[STRIKED OUT] loose women are more likely to give up p*ssy with little effort. And we know that guys don’t like rejection (don’t fight me on this one). So, when you think about men on the whole, they want to hit on more hoes than housewives. This reduces our rejection rates and makes sure we are smashing … constantly.

See how it all comes together now?

If a guy is trying to decide who to hit on in the supermarket, generally speaking, he is going to go for the easy win. And remember that hoes have perms? Knowing that a girl with natural hair is less likely to be a hoe, he is going to go for that.

And there you go … another SBM life-changing theory for the books.

The main thing you have to realize about this is we aren’t talking about the guys with scruples. Honestly, a guy like me prefers his woman with natural hair. Just thinking about some long dreads that go down the middle of a woman’s back … whew … man. The same qualities that may turn off the masses … only make me (and many like me … Slim Jackson) want her more.

I know someone reading this is mad. I know many people reading this might be mad … but stop, and think about it. Am I wrong? Is one of the reason that a dyme with a well kept mini-fro might not get as much play as her lye’d up friend is because of preconceived notions? Not saying it’s right, but is it true?


http://www.singleblackmale.org/2011/01/03/do-natural-hair-women-get-hit-on/




Well, whats your opinion about this article????

 

[Janet']

Didn't have a problem with a relaxer--don't have a problem as a natural...

 

[Geminigirl]

Can't be serious. I get mad love, especially around here with all the clones. I am unique and people often think I am foreign/exotic, I love my hair.

Sent from my LG-LW690 using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[Uniqzoe]

I agree Janet' and I'm married. Ohhh but then I also see that you're in the ATL too, guys are used to natural women here.

 

[faithVA]

I certainly haven't had any problems as a natural. I do get hit on more when I wear a twist out versus when I wear twists. The bigger my hair the more people like it. When my hair is big more white guys smile at me and follow me around the parking lot.

 

[DrC]

I agree Janet' and I'm married. Ohhh but then I also see that you're in the ATL too, guys are used to natural women here.

Really?? Thats nice to hear......

 

[Ltown]

Absolutely! I don't want someone to hit on me just because of my hair, it my divalicious that got their attention.

 

[silenttullip]

For me, ME personally... It depends on what city or region I'm in.
In ATL I got much love natural.
In NC lol they weren't feeling it.
In Chattanooga younger guys liked it
In Houston men seem to holla at anything

 

[PraisedBeauty]

Seriously. I see this topic all the time. Reworded in so many different ways. And of course people are going to run in here saying "Omg. EVERYONE loves my natural hair. Way more guys hit on me." Okay let's just be up front and real about this for once. Okay?

1. If you are ugly. You are ugly. If you are pretty. You are pretty. Permed hair or natural hair will not impact that.

2. Hair is not the determining factor on whether or not a guy is going to approach you.

3. What type of natural are you? Did you just bc? Do you have a TWA? Are you a pressed natural? Are you 4B or are you 3A? YES. THIS STUFF IMPACTS THE SITUATION. So do not sit up there saying it doesn't.

4. If you're permed. Do you have scraggly ends? Can you barely put your hair into a pony tail? Is your hair damaged like Danity Daaamn Kane? This will also impact the situation.

5. How long is your hair in general. Majority of men prefer length. Your hair may be long as a natural but if it's not stretched it may not show length.

6. Many men are influenced by the images that they see in the media. Most images in the media that are representations of beauty are not women with natural 4B hair. If you are in a group of girls. And you all are on the same level in terms of looks and you are the only one with natural hair, I honestly do not thing that he is going to pick you if you are a 4b girl with natural hair and a TWA. Do not sugar coat it. And stop lying to all these other girls when they are nervous about going natural. It is what it is. Some men just can't see past the medias image of beauty. I DON'T AGREE WITH IT. SO DON'T ATTACK ME. But let's KEEP-IT-REAL.

7. I know someone will come in here saying "Oh well I attract men of a higher caliber with my natural hair" Child please. Just because you attract a man with locks or a man who is in touch with the mother land does not mean that he is of a higher caliber. Because he sure will play you out just like a back up dancer in one of Diddy's videos.

8. I cannot stress this enough. Once again. If you are ugly you are ugly. If you are pretty you are pretty. Hair is not the end all be all. So don't run around crying saying "Oooo I can't get a man because I'm natural and no one appreciates my beauty" ...They might not have appreciated it when you were permed and weaved up either...

9. Not all men are the same. Not all men are attracted to the same thing.

10. The majority of men will gravitate toward a woman with long hair, that displays visible length that is at least apl (whether it is curly or straight), and that is her own. Permed or natural.

(Oh and when I hear black men saying they like girls with natural hair. Half of the time they don't even know what the hell they are saying. So many men I have talked to consider natural hair to mean that the hair is not a weave or a wig. Not that the hair is not permed/chemicalized).

I'm sure I stepped on a few toes. I'm sorry. But we are keeping it real here.

 

[PPGbubbles]

I still get hit on but once I started rocking kinky styles (always been natural) I recieved less frivolous male attention.

I am actually glad!

lmao @ SBM callin the permed women easy heauxs and naturals unapproachable ... you can always count on SBM to give you a male perspective straight no chaser (that site is a guilty pleasure of mine)

ETA: I can simplify it further from MY experience... men like longer hair straight or natural. My attention droped when I cut my hair. Now that I am a bit past APL my male attention quota has increased.

Now men grab at my hair and compliment the freshly cowashed scent.

ETA 2: I also live in Southern Cali which makes a big difference. men out here are very superficial.

 

[BraunSugar]

I've been hit on wearing sweats while my hair was tied up in a scarf. Most men just don't care LOL!

For me it is about the same.

 

[bride91501]

I am happily married to my soulmate, so the author's opinion has no effect on me.

But I do love to hear what's going on in the minds of the black man, even the ignorant ones. Helps to inform the life discussions I plan to have with my 3 little future black women .

 

[DrC]

For me, ME personally... It depends on what city or region I'm in.
In ATL I got much love natural.
In NC lol they weren't feeling it.
In Chattanooga younger guys liked it
In Houston men seem to holla at anything

that is true.

 

[brittanynic16]

There are some men who prefer to date a woman with natural hair (afro,twists or locs) I can name 5 off the top of my head.

 

[PraisedBeauty]

There are some men who only/prefer date a woman with natural hair. I can name 5 off the top of my head.

Five men... Out of how many? Compared to how many that only/prefer to date women with perms. I'm not trying to be rude here. But I am tired of people sugar coating this. Smh.

 

[DrC]

Seriously. I see this topic all the time. Reworded in so many different ways. And of course people are going to run in here saying "Omg. EVERYONE loves my natural hair. Way more guys hit on me." Okay let's just be up front and real about this for once. Okay?

1. If you are ugly. You are ugly. If you are pretty. You are pretty. Permed hair or natural hair will not impact that.

2. Hair is not the determining factor on whether or not a guy is going to approach you.

3. What type of natural are you? Did you just bc? Do you have a TWA? Are you a pressed natural? Are you 4B or are you 3A? YES. THIS STUFF IMPACTS THE SITUATION. So do not sit up there saying it doesn't.

4. If you're permed. Do you have scraggly ends? Can you barely put your hair into a pony tail? Is your hair damaged like Danity Daaamn Kane? This will also impact the situation.

5. How long is your hair in general. Majority of men prefer length. Your hair may be long as a natural but if it's not stretched it may not show length.

6. Many men are influenced by the images that they see in the media. Most images in the media that are representations of beauty are not women with natural 4B hair. If you are in a group of girls. And you all are on the same level in terms of looks and you are the only one with natural hair, I honestly do not thing that he is going to pick you if you are a 4b girl with natural hair and a TWA. Do not sugar coat it. And stop lying to all these other girls when they are nervous about going natural. It is what it is. Some men just can't see past the medias image of beauty. I DON'T AGREE WITH IT. SO DON'T ATTACK ME. But let's KEEP-IT-REAL.

7. I know someone will come in here saying "Oh well I attract men of a higher caliber with my natural hair" Child please. Just because you attract a man with locks or a man who is in touch with the mother land does not mean that he is of a higher caliber. Because he sure will play you out just like a back up dancer in one of Diddy's videos.

8. I cannot stress this enough. Once again. If you are ugly you are ugly. If you are pretty you are pretty. Hair is not the end all be all. So don't run around crying saying "Oooo I can't get a man because I'm natural and no one appreciates my beauty" ...They might not have appreciated it when you were permed and weaved up either...

9. Not all men are the same. Not all men are attracted to the same thing.

10. The majority of men will gravitate toward a woman with long hair, that displays visible length that is at least apl (whether it is curly or straight), and that is her own. Permed or natural.

(Oh and when I hear black men saying they like girls with natural hair. Half of the time they don't even know what the hell they are saying. So many men I have talked to consider natural hair to mean that the hair is not a weave or a wig. Not that the hair is not permed/chemicalized).

I'm sure I stepped on a few toes. I'm sorry. But we are keeping it real here.

This.....

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Well I'm still laughin at "hoes have perms"

Other than that I couldn't care less what this article is yappin about.

 

[DrC]

Well I'm still laughin at "hoes have perms"

Other than that I couldn't care less what this article is yappin about.

 

[bride91501]

Seriously. I see this topic all the time. Reworded in so many different ways. And of course people are going to run in here saying "Omg. EVERYONE loves my natural hair. Way more guys hit on me." Okay let's just be up front and real about this for once. Okay?

1. If you are ugly. You are ugly. If you are pretty. You are pretty. Permed hair or natural hair will not impact that.

2. Hair is not the determining factor on whether or not a guy is going to approach you.

3. What type of natural are you? Did you just bc? Do you have a TWA? Are you a pressed natural? Are you 4B or are you 3A? YES. THIS STUFF IMPACTS THE SITUATION. So do not sit up there saying it doesn't.

4. If you're permed. Do you have scraggly ends? Can you barely put your hair into a pony tail? Is your hair damaged like Danity Daaamn Kane? This will also impact the situation.

5. How long is your hair in general. Majority of men prefer length. Your hair may be long as a natural but if it's not stretched it may not show length.

6. Many men are influenced by the images that they see in the media. Most images in the media that are representations of beauty are not women with natural 4B hair. If you are in a group of girls. And you all are on the same level in terms of looks and you are the only one with natural hair, I honestly do not thing that he is going to pick you if you are a 4b girl with natural hair and a TWA. Do not sugar coat it. And stop lying to all these other girls when they are nervous about going natural. It is what it is. Some men just can't see past the medias image of beauty. I DON'T AGREE WITH IT. SO DON'T ATTACK ME. But let's KEEP-IT-REAL.

7. I know someone will come in here saying "Oh well I attract men of a higher caliber with my natural hair" Child please. Just because you attract a man with locks or a man who is in touch with the mother land does not mean that he is of a higher caliber. Because he sure will play you out just like a back up dancer in one of Diddy's videos.

8. I cannot stress this enough. Once again. If you are ugly you are ugly. If you are pretty you are pretty. Hair is not the end all be all. So don't run around crying saying "Oooo I can't get a man because I'm natural and no one appreciates my beauty" ...They might not have appreciated it when you were permed and weaved up either...

9. Not all men are the same. Not all men are attracted to the same thing.

10. The majority of men will gravitate toward a woman with long hair, that displays visible length that is at least apl (whether it is curly or straight), and that is her own. Permed or natural.

(Oh and when I hear black men saying they like girls with natural hair. Half of the time they don't even know what the hell they are saying. So many men I have talked to consider natural hair to mean that the hair is not a weave or a wig. Not that the hair is not permed/chemicalized).

I'm sure I stepped on a few toes. I'm sorry. But we are keeping it real here.

First of all, let me just tell you that most of your post had me in tears. From laughter btw. You're pretty funny.

I also find it very interesting when women profess to know so much about what *most* men are thinking. IMO, this is a very careless advice game I see women play all the time. Isn't it always best to go straight to the source for the best advice? *shrug*

Tis all. Carry on.

 

[CurlsBazillion]

PraisedBeauty, I'm not sure ppl can handle the truth but thanks for your version of it. I do agree with most of with you said and at the end of the day my value is not based on how many men hit on me. My man loves my hair and even though I appreciate it I don't do my hair the way I do for him, my hair is for me to enjoy thats why (I) love it.

 

[brittanynic16]

Five men... Out of how many? Compared to how many that only/prefer to date women with perms. I'm not trying to be rude here. But I am tired of people sugar coating this. Smh.

OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD!!! There are more. Those are just the ones I can name without thinking.

This is out of the people I know. Don't have a statistic for you. I only know 1 guy that must have a woman with straight hair. There is no sugar coating that is my experience.

I didn't say they wouldn't date a woman with straight hair I said that is what they prefer ( well I was editing to say that but you quoted me first). I know it may be hard for you to leave but there are.....

SOME BLACK MEN WHO PREFER NATURAL HAIR!!!

I don't now wear natural styles the majority of the time. I have no reason to lie or make myself look "good." It just is what it is.

 

[PraisedBeauty]

First of all, let me just tell you that most of your post had me in tears. From laughter btw. You're pretty funny.

I also find it very interesting when women profess to know so much about what *most* men are thinking. IMO, this is a very careless advice game I see women play all the time. Isn't it always best to go straight to the source for the best advice? *shrug*

Tis all. Carry on.

Are you serious right now? *most* men. Yes *most* men. Go out with a group of ladies to multiple areas. Tell me who gets approached more. You or the women with perms/weaves? It is a tough world out there. And I am sorry, but in this day and age our hair texture and natural beauty is NOT appreciated by the majority of men out there, even our own black men. No it's not fair. If anything it saddens me. But it is what it is. Yes you are married good for you. But just because your husband loves your natural hair, does not mean that the rest of the world does.

A lot of men want a woman they can "show off" to their boys. A woman they will know they will say "Yeah she looks good" ...What is that woman going to be? A reflection or something similar to what is shoved in their faces on a daily basis in those magazines. On the television. In songs. (Thank you Lil Wayne "I like a long haired thick red bone" or whatever he said. I don't listen to that garbage, I just hear it when cars drive by.)

 

[nappystorm]

Seriously. I see this topic all the time. Reworded in so many different ways. And of course people are going to run in here saying "Omg. EVERYONE loves my natural hair. Way more guys hit on me." Okay let's just be up front and real about this for once. Okay?

1. If you are ugly. You are ugly. If you are pretty. You are pretty. Permed hair or natural hair will not impact that.

2. Hair is not the determining factor on whether or not a guy is going to approach you. Sometimes it is

3. What type of natural are you? Did you just bc? Do you have a TWA? Are you a pressed natural? Are you 4B or are you 3A? YES. THIS STUFF IMPACTS THE SITUATION. So do not sit up there saying it doesn't. I kind of agree. If you are wearing a style (key word) that's unflattering to your face/head shape then...

4. If you're permed. Do you have scraggly ends? Can you barely put your hair into a pony tail? Is your hair damaged like Danity Daaamn Kane? This will also impact the situation.

5. How long is your hair in general. Majority of men prefer length. Your hair may be long as a natural but if it's not stretched it may not show length.

6. Many men are influenced by the images that they see in the media. Most images in the media that are representations of beauty are not women with natural 4B hair. If you are in a group of girls. And you all are on the same level in terms of looks and you are the only one with natural hair, I honestly do not thing that he is going to pick you if you are a 4b girl with natural hair and a TWA. Do not sugar coat it. And stop lying to all these other girls when they are nervous about going natural. It is what it is. Some men just can't see past the medias image of beauty. I DON'T AGREE WITH IT. SO DON'T ATTACK ME. But let's KEEP-IT-REAL. This depends on the man. I've been singled out in a room full of permies

7. I know someone will come in here saying "Oh well I attract men of a higher caliber with my natural hair" Child please. Just because you attract a man with locks or a man who is in touch with the mother land does not mean that he is of a higher caliber. Because he sure will play you out just like a back up dancer in one of Diddy's videos. I don't disagree, per se but it's a little more complicate than that

8. I cannot stress this enough. Once again. If you are ugly you are ugly. If you are pretty you are pretty. Hair is not the end all be all. So don't run around crying saying "Oooo I can't get a man because I'm natural and no one appreciates my beauty" ...They might not have appreciated it when you were permed and weaved up either...

9. Not all men are the same. Not all men are attracted to the same thing.

10. The majority of men will gravitate toward a woman with long hair, that displays visible length that is at least apl (whether it is curly or straight), and that is her own. Permed or natural.

(Oh and when I hear black men saying they like girls with natural hair. Half of the time they don't even know what the hell they are saying. So many men I have talked to consider natural hair to mean that the hair is not a weave or a wig. Not that the hair is not permed/chemicalized).

I'm sure I stepped on a few toes. I'm sorry. But we are keeping it real here.

ITA with the bolded. Other responses are in red.

 

[PraisedBeauty]

PraisedBeauty, I'm not sure ppl can handle the truth but thanks for your version of it. I do agree with most of with you said and at the end of the day my value is not based on how many men hit on me. My man loves my hair and even though I appreciate it I don't do my hair the way I do for him, my hair is for me to enjoy thats why (I) love it.

Thank you. I know you said that you don't do your hair for him. And I commend you for doing what makes you feel good. But the reason why I bolded that part of your statement is because you did say that your man loves your hair. And I think that is important. At the end of the day. We all, well most of us, want to be with ONE person. If that one person loves us and who we are. Who cares what the rest think? I'm not saying that a lot of men don't think the same way in terms of hair/beauty. But. If you found your soul mate. Just do you.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

I'm married and I get hit on while I am transitioning. Relaxed or not, I never had a problem getting attention (most of the time unwanted) by men (or some women).

 

[MissSenegal]

I get hit on all the time. Braid out, twist out, blow out, wig or weave I get hit on by men and a few women. It has to do with the person and if you feel ugly it will show in your demeanor. Any man who turns away because of my hair wasn't the one for me anyway.

 

[bride91501]

Are you serious right now? *most* men. Yes *most* men. Go out with a group of ladies to multiple areas. Tell me who gets approached more. You or the women with perms/weaves? It is a tough world out there. And I am sorry, but in this day and age our hair texture and natural beauty is NOT appreciated by the majority of men out there, even our own black men. No it's not fair. If anything it saddens me. But it is what it is. Yes you are married good for you. But just because your husband loves your natural hair, does not mean that the rest of the world does.

A lot of men want a woman they can "show off" to their boys. A woman they will know they will say "Yeah she looks good" ...What is that woman going to be? A reflection or something similar to what is shoved in their faces on a daily basis in those magazines. On the television. In songs. (Thank you Lil Wayne "I like a long haired thick red bone" or whatever he said. I don't listen to that garbage, I just hear it when cars drive by.)

Actually yes, I am being serious. And I didn't say that I disagreed with much or everything you said; I just cautioned you, as a woman, against speaking on what *most men* want.

I also think we may be talking about 2 different kinds of men. The kind of man that hits on me now is the same type that hit on me when I was bone-laxed wearing 18" remi weaves- the kind that appreciates a physically attractive, confident woman & is drawn to that energy. I just flash my ring and direct him over to my single, relaxed gf :wink2:.

 

[brittanynic16]

The chick with the best body gets the guy not the chick with the straightest hair.

 

[Amoreofcurls]

I get hit on all the time no matter what the style is...the hair is usually just the icing on the cake...


I live in NYC BTW


When women say they dont get hit on because of their hair ,I always wonder what kind of vibes some of them give off to men in the first place...

It usually has nothing to do with their hair, and more to do with inner confidence, men are attracted to confidence...The reflection of insecurity of their hair most likely effects their confidence...

 

[Tiye]

It's about confidence. To the model in the blog post has beautiful hair, but she doesn't look confident. If you project lack of confidence, people read that as a wall and think you're stand offish or hostile. I know it's a stock photo, but it's the blogger's job to pick the photo to match the text and that was a good one.