Do Any RELAXED heads feel like this?

[locabouthair]

Well if you are worried about standing apart, why not get a Bad A** hair cut. And I don't mean cut it short but maybe you could get some layers or a neat bang or something? Just my input

I agree.

OP, I feel you. When I was natural, this was one of my reasons for not relaxing.

Layers are always nice. You can do twistouts, curlformers, bangs, color (semi permanent). Try out different styles. Of course if you want to go natural, you can always do that too.

If I had your length, I'd be trying out soooo many different styles. Variety is the spice of life

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

I see what you mean. I am traditionally a weave/half-wig phony pony wearing chic. But when I wear my real hair, I feel so special and proud of myself.

Even if everyone else has the same style as me, I'm digging my hair for my own reasons, and I'm proud it's mine even if no one else is.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

I am transitioning but I get what you are saying. There are so many ways to wear relaxed hair other thin pin straight..I personally think that only looks great on really thick hair, but that's just my opinion.

As popular as rollersetting is here, you really don't see that many under 50 women with roller set hair at least in Houston..straight weave or flat ironed straight.

I was thinking about transitioning too, but now the lack of uniqueness in natural hair. But, then again.... I don't see too many natural with long hair so I guess the "difference" factor. I cannot decide. Honestly, I DO love curls... so, even if I don't go fully natural I could always get texturized. My mind changes every five seconds.

 

[sunnydaze]

I was thinking about transitioning too, but now the lack of uniqueness in natural hair. But, then again.... I don't see too many natural with long hair so I guess the "difference" factor. I cannot decide. Honestly, I DO love curls... so, even if I don't go fully natural I could always get texturized. My mind changes every five seconds.

ITA..but again where I live just wearing the hair natural is unique enough b/c I just don't see it that much.

I will say that I have read some naturals talk about wearing their hair in a puff or twa all the time gets old too..and I can see that as well.

I wish more relaxed heads would rollerset..sometimes I see someone's hair and think how gorgeous it would look loosely curled ala rollersetting. I grew up on sets, so maybe I am speaking about what I am familiar with.

 

[Extremus]

Well if you are worried about standing apart, why not get a Bad A** hair cut. And I don't mean cut it short but maybe you could get some layers or a neat bang or something? Just my input

I do think about this almost everday tho.

BUT: I think if you are relaxed and get a fierce cut or style then it wouldn't matter though--- like if you color it a good shade of something that pops and nobody else wears, or if you get an uneven cut or cool layers, nobody will think of you as the same.

This too!

 

[Extremus]

Have you tried doing hair styles with more texture? For example, a braid out looks really nice. When I was relaxed I felt like I looked like every other relaxed black girl. I felt my natural hair stood out. Now I see a lot more naturals .

Oh yes! Lately I've been wearing more braidouts, bantu knots, & wash n go's

 

[Extremus]

This happend with me and my Dh...he didn't finally "get it" until I did my BC. Now he's all up in my TWA. I realized with him that I was over-analyzing every compliment, and thinking he just said something to make me feel better. I now know that it was b/c of my personal doubts. We have to learn to take the compliments as they are...don't add and don't subtract. How often do you wear your hair curly?
You are beautiful and you have some banging hair! Do You!

black: that's wonderful! I would hope if I cut my hair he would love it just as much as your DH.
red: yep! more than i've ever done!
blue: your right, thank u!

 

[Extremus]

I agree with this completely. I recently relaxed my hair, and one of my fears was looking like everyone else with relaxed hair. In NYC, many of the women I see have bone straight shoulder length hair that's been wrapped,(or long weaves) I rarely see a pretty, healthy rollerset.

You have such pretty long hair, you should experiment with textured or "big" hairstyles.

Yes! I try to make my hair big & curly as possible whenever I do a curly/textured hairstyle

 

[*Muffin*]

No, I don't feel this way. I'll admit, sometimes wish I had natural hair, but I don't hate my relaxed hair. I don't think that everyone that is relaxed hair looks the same. There are varying lengths, conditions, cuts, and styles they can wear their hair in. It sounds to me like you are becoming tired of having relaxed hair, and if that's the case then maybe you should try transitioning. Why be stuck with hair you aren't satisfied with? The whole point isn't just growing hair long, it's liking the hair you are growing. What I would do if I were you is do an extended transition. You don't have to BC. That way if you ever change your mind and decide to relax again, you will still have all of your length, and if you decide to go natural you won't have to go through the shock of losing all of your relaxed ends at once. But whatever decision you make, just make sure that you are happy with it and love and embrace your hair for all of it's good qualities, whether it's natural or relaxed.

 

[Extremus]

Well, i feel that way too sometimes ewilliams. I'll be with one of my friends who has a weave and like, 3 inches of hair underneath and someone will be like, Oh you both have such long hair! And I wanna be like, No, I have long hair. SHE has long weave thankuverymuch!
But that'd be pretty b&*&^y, I guess. I guess I just wanna get "credit" for my hard work or something. Kinda like if you worked really hard on an essay and got an A and your friend cheats & buys their essay online and gets an A....and the teacher praises you both.

I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does..

Girl! YES!!! It's so relieving that someone else feels the same! This is how I feel!!

And my boyfriend ONLY likes my hair when it's flatironed. It's so weird. He only likes bone-straight hair and thinks natural hair is ugly on women. I don't know what his issue is. Even if we see a white woman/hispanic woman with like 2b hair on tv, he'll be like, "she should straighten her hair".

This is coming from a man who is currently growing his hair out and has a nappy, uneven afro looking like Bobo the Clown telling ME I need to flatiron my relaxed hair. So I do braid-outs to give my hair even more texture and give him the finger.

My SO too! He has 4b hair and it's it like how come you can wear yours out and they can't

 

[Extremus]

I don't mind if naturals answer! It's all good with me

tis why i want waist length curly/wavy hair

editted: i just realized you wanted relaxed ppl to answer.. sry. well. as an ex - relaxed head now, its that feeling that helped me in my decision to go natural

 

[bravenewgirl87]

ITA..but again where I live just wearing the hair natural is unique enough b/c I just don't see it that much.

I will say that I have read some naturals talk about wearing their hair in a puff or twa all the time gets old too..and I can see that as well.

I wish more relaxed heads would rollerset..sometimes I see someone's hair and think how gorgeous it would look loosely curled ala rollersetting. I grew up on sets, so maybe I am speaking about what I am familiar with.

Yea... I hate the TWA. They are getting annoying. Especially when a year or two rolls by and folks are still rocking the misshapened TWA. I usually think in my head, " I wonder when so-and-so is going to figure out that relaxers isn't what kept her hair from growing." You have to take care of the TWA, but most people tend to not do so, and the hair just just as dirty and nasty and picky as with damaged relaxed hair.

 

[Extremus]

I think the weave thing is a separate debate-- yea I do think it is tacky and sad that someone who buys some hair and passes it for her own always gets compliments (on her hair, nothing else so its obviously not a whole package). Its like the weave was gotten solely to make people think they had long hair, so they can feel good when they get compliments on something fake.

We know what I feel about artificial But anyway thats separate.


The real deal is I think OP makes a lot of sense, because those thoughts helped me transition. Realizing that relaxing is just a trend that people follow in the masses probably offends people who want to believe that it is something unique. For the most part, all I see are girls with SL hair and raggedy ends in the day who relax. Then when I go to the club I see everyone (and I mean 90%) with relaxed straight hair with BSL weaves. Its like when everyone decided they needed to wear Ugg boots and I realized I didn't want to be like everybody else.

It totally makes sense to want to be unique-- even though there is such a strong influence there trying to get people to be apart of the group and make them think theyre unique. I bet if everyone wore their natural texture (not that I think they should because well people love relaxers and I dont want to get into that debate) nobody would think "Oh all those girls have the same hair" like they do now. A lot of black men think all black womens hair comes out the same and gets relaxed the same and that is that. A lot of white folks think so too. If thats not lack of individuality I dont know what is.

OP... are you considering transitioning? Perhaps you could get a textlax or texturize at your next few relaxers and see how it goes? Then maybe if that works out you could just keep going until its long enough to chop? (I wouldn't want to transition with all that long hair either unless I was sure but if it bothers you then I would do it) BTW I dont know if anyones mentioned it but you have a very pretty face and I doubt folks would think of you as just like everybody else

I agree 1,000% on this post, especially the bolded!
Thanks a lot for the compliment! :Blush2::Blush2: And yes, I am (DEEPLY) considering transitioning to texturized hair.

 

[Extremus]

And you guys' hair is beautiful!

tis why i want waist length curly/wavy hair

editted: i just realized you wanted relaxed ppl to answer.. sry. well. as an ex - relaxed head now, its that feeling that helped me in my decision to go natural

Yep...thats exactly how I felt when I had a relaxer...

I love my natural hair because the way I style it makes me feel unique and funky...and I can always switch it up to that straight relaxed girl look as the mood strikes.

E...maybe you can try some different textured styles to give you some diversity like braidouts or strawsets or something.

Definitely

No, I don't feel this way. I'll admit, sometimes wish I had natural hair, but I don't hate my relaxed hair. I don't think that everyone that is relaxed hair looks the same. There are varying lengths, conditions, cuts, and styles they can wear their hair in. It sounds to me like you are becoming tired of having relaxed hair, and if that's the case then maybe you should try transitioning. Why be stuck with hair you aren't satisfied with? The whole point isn't just growing hair long, it's liking the hair you are growing. What I would do if I were you is do an extended transition. You don't have to BC. That way if you ever change your mind and decide to relax again, you will still have all of your length, and if you decide to go natural you won't have to go through the shock of losing all of your relaxed ends at once. But whatever decision you make, just make sure that you are happy with it and love and embrace your hair for all of it's good qualities, whether it's natural or relaxed.

Thank you for this, I'll be keeping this in mind.

 

[wannabelong]

Yes, what makes it worst is he told me today,

SO: You look good with your hair straightened
me:
SO: Why can't you take the compliment?
me: I can, it's not the "compliment" that bothers me, but the fact that hair only looks good when it's straightened
SO: Huh?
me: Nothing.

I don't think he'll ever understand unless he's on this board with me. He doesn't realized how brainwashed we are. I'm so mad because he can't appreciate my natural (new growth) or natural heads period, BUT I'm being contradicting for being a relaxed head and wanting to keep it this way! I'm so lost!

Girl, that's my fiance. He thinks hair looks good only when it's staight.

 

[LadyEuphoria007]

Yea... I hate the TWA. They are getting annoying. Especially when a year or two rolls by and folks are still rocking the misshapened TWA. I usually think in my head, " I wonder when so-and-so is going to figure out that relaxers isn't what kept her hair from growing." You have to take care of the TWA, but most people tend to not do so, and the hair just just as dirty and nasty and picky as with damaged relaxed hair.

OH at this!

not gonna be me, no sir! lol

 

[hopeful]

Yea... I hate the TWA. They are getting annoying. Especially when a year or two rolls by and folks are still rocking the misshapened TWA. I usually think in my head, " I wonder when so-and-so is going to figure out that relaxers isn't what kept her hair from growing." You have to take care of the TWA, but most people tend to not do so, and the hair just just as dirty and nasty and picky as with damaged relaxed hair.

When you say most people, do you mean most people you have seen in person, most people on this website? I'm just curious because I have seen very few people on LHCF who are "still rocking the misshapened TWA" after two years. Nor have I seen the "dirty and nasty and picky" hair you are talking about, natural or relaxed. Again, I am talking about on LHCF, IRL may be different IDK.