likewtr4chklit
New Member
What made you say "enough!"? Do you think counceling would've helped? For those that don't want to answer here...you can pm me. TIA
Divorced/Seperated?
- Thread starter likewtr4chklit
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wannabelong
Well-Known Member
This is my post from the "Enough is Enough" thread.
I dealt with this in my first marrige. My ex-husband went out a lot and not just on the weekends, leaving me at home with the baby all the time. I expressed my concerns and it was like talking to a brick wall, he continued to do it. I couldn't take it anymore, I took my baby girl and I left. He ended up cheating while we were separated and I tried to forgive him and work it out for the sake of our daughter. So I laid down the law and let him come back home. He was good for about 3 months and guess what...he starting hanging out all night again. I left for good that time and got a divorce. There comes a time when you have to do what's best for you and your child. I was miserable when I was with my ex and my daughter would see that I was miserable. I decided that I would much rather for my daughter to see me alone and happy than with a man and unhappy, plus I did not want her to think that her father's behavior was acceptable.
Added: I tried to get him to go to marriage counseling but he never made time to go. He was always MIA during our appointment time. I finally wised up and realized it takes two to work on a marriage.
I dealt with this in my first marrige. My ex-husband went out a lot and not just on the weekends, leaving me at home with the baby all the time. I expressed my concerns and it was like talking to a brick wall, he continued to do it. I couldn't take it anymore, I took my baby girl and I left. He ended up cheating while we were separated and I tried to forgive him and work it out for the sake of our daughter. So I laid down the law and let him come back home. He was good for about 3 months and guess what...he starting hanging out all night again. I left for good that time and got a divorce. There comes a time when you have to do what's best for you and your child. I was miserable when I was with my ex and my daughter would see that I was miserable. I decided that I would much rather for my daughter to see me alone and happy than with a man and unhappy, plus I did not want her to think that her father's behavior was acceptable.
Added: I tried to get him to go to marriage counseling but he never made time to go. He was always MIA during our appointment time. I finally wised up and realized it takes two to work on a marriage.
Jas123
The Star of a Story
i'm not married but i've been a situation where i said enough!... basically it boils down to are YOU HAPPY in the relationship, not the i'm usually happy but today he's making me unhappy. i mean is this person for the most part making you happy, does he put you and your needs 1st, does he show you love, consideration (the list goes on)?
now, i do know a man can't (and shouldn't be) your sole source of happiness but he should be part of it as opposed to contributing to your misery/unhappiness.
also, i think it's important to look at what you're contributing to the overall success of the relationship, are you asking for this n that but not giving this n that?
i think alot of people could tell their "enough" moments but ultimately it's up to you (which i'm sure you know)
now, i do know a man can't (and shouldn't be) your sole source of happiness but he should be part of it as opposed to contributing to your misery/unhappiness.
also, i think it's important to look at what you're contributing to the overall success of the relationship, are you asking for this n that but not giving this n that?
i think alot of people could tell their "enough" moments but ultimately it's up to you (which i'm sure you know)
firecracker
Well-Known Member
Darn Op. I really wanna come and stump your husband a new a-hole. I hope everything gets better.
GodsPromises
The Credit Countess
When you realize that he is not adding anything to your life and you just can't life with it anymore.
I'm there right now!!!!
I'm there right now!!!!
TheseStankyLegs
New Member
I remember your thread on him and always wanted to ask you how did that go.
Not divorced, But for NOW, i can say that the deal breakers would be 1) cheating 2) refusal to change whatever is making me unhappy 3) any physical/mental abuse and 4)any thing like child molestations, etc. I know a few of those are extremes, but that is what I can think of.
Not divorced, But for NOW, i can say that the deal breakers would be 1) cheating 2) refusal to change whatever is making me unhappy 3) any physical/mental abuse and 4)any thing like child molestations, etc. I know a few of those are extremes, but that is what I can think of.
HoneyDew
Well-Known Member
I am divorced.
For me it was time, then I just got honest with myself and realized I was not in love with him and that I wanted another life for myself.
I used to lay in bed and think 'there is no way I can spend my life in the relationship'.
He was a good guy - just not for me. I got married because of the wrong reasons.
Edited:
We did do counseling. That is how I got more confident about my decision. I wish I had done it sooner, wasted a lot of time feeling depressed.
For me it was time, then I just got honest with myself and realized I was not in love with him and that I wanted another life for myself.
I used to lay in bed and think 'there is no way I can spend my life in the relationship'.
He was a good guy - just not for me. I got married because of the wrong reasons.
Edited:
We did do counseling. That is how I got more confident about my decision. I wish I had done it sooner, wasted a lot of time feeling depressed.
Last edited:
likewtr4chklit
New Member
It's ok Firecracker for once it's not me
But being that I'm a newlywed I can't really help a friend in need, plus we have our own problems so I'm letting her read your responses and Pm's. TIAETA: I shoulda stated that in the OP.
likewtr4chklit
New Member
We're actually doing well, the training is working j/k. But my girl is dealing with some deeper issues. I honestly believe that her DH is dabbling in homosexual activities, but.....we have no proof. We read the "DL" thread but that proved to be fruitless.
TheseStankyLegs
New Member
Wow. Will her husband submit to counseling?
likewtr4chklit
New Member
That dude is still in denial. He thinks it's money issues that can be worked out. Her plan is to convince him to go to counseling and then slowly ease into the possible "DL" issue. I think it's a waste of time, and started this thread hoping that she would see that.
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