Re: Discouraged 4a/4bs... this thread\'s for you!!!
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nicki6 said:
Peace and blessings AJamericanDiva,
It seems that you really touched on what so many of us were feeling!!! This thread is on fire!! I have read every post. You have really done a public service with this post. My hair has grown to shoulder length when I have not done anything so special, so I am aiming for the tops of my shoulder baldes maximum. I think that is the most hair that I want to contend with personally. But who knows..I may get there and feel encouraged to go further.
BTW...I want to steal your baby boy and I don't even want kids!! (lol)
One more question....what is that shade of lipstick that you are wearing in the last pic of your Haircare journey album? Your skin is flawless...any tips? As you can tell, I am an LHCF addict. My excuse tonight is that I am at work and bored.
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Hey, Nicki6! I'm sorry I almost lost you in this thread! Thanks for your encouragement.
I think a lot of us have been "programmed" into believing that we can't really grow our hair long. If we see a "brown" person (as my daughter calls us) with long hair then it's obvious that they must have "good hair" or is of "mixed race" heritage. Then there's the other part of us that may believe that we can do it, but subconsciously are doubting, as if to protect ourself from defeat if we don't make it. The funny thing is that I knew about these clubs almost a year before officially starting my haircare journey, but didn't really think I myself would be capable of getting to even the length that I have now attained. It wasn't until I realized that people had albums and I started looking at them and seeing the transformations. The people didn't even have to have long hair, but just the fact that they were making progress. I'm telling you. So many adults that have known me as a child have been in such a state of, "where did you get all that hair from"... because even though it's grown as I got older, it was never this length and they are taken aback. I even got my Mom into the hair growing thing. She looks to me for advice etc. She's natural though. The funny thing is that both my parents have that softer grade of hair and it completely skipped by me!!!
The longstanding phrase as I was coming up was, "You have dryhead like you Gramma!" Well! Needless to say, Grandma feels absolved that I have a head full of hair so she is no longer to blame. Looking at my own pictures have encouraged me. My daughter's pics have encouraged me moreso. It was disheartening to hear her paternal grandmother say, "You'd be so pretty if you had long hair." I would say, "You
are pretty already." Her paternal grandmother is what folks from the West Indies would call dougla (don't know if I spelled that right) and I know they thought that she had short nappy hair from me. It was such a touchy topic for me as nappy hair is beautiful. At the same time, I had to be realistic that the mentality in the islands existed that nappy was not really revered. Heck! There are Jamaicans that will still describe hair as "pretty" as in hair type. I kid you not. To be more blunt, some descrive hair as (spelled for pronunciation) "nay-ga" hair and "pretty" hair. I'm from the "nay-ga" hair class. Well, as far as my daughter goes, let's just say her grandmother is shocked and pleased at the condition of Kaila's hair. I let Kaila know that naps are just as beautiful as any other hairtype and she should not feel upset if someone describe her hair a such. Also, now that she has a relaxer and a Mom to take care of it so she can achieve a longer length and when worn down (very rarely), it swings, she shouldn't think she was better than anyone else. OK, let me end here... VENTING, I guess and getting into the psychology behind hair.
Oh yeah, to answer your questions... my son is such a flirt! Lil' girls and big women alike make complete fools of themselves around him. Is this a player in the making? I hope not?
As for the lip shade, I put MAC lipglass on first, it's clear and then go over it with MAC lipstick in a shade called Gel. It's a frosty shade. The application of the clear first let's the lipstick go on sheer. Lipliner is MAC's Cork.
