I think the book she is talking about is actually called "Positive Discipline". It is by Jane Nelson.
BEST PARENTING BOOK EVER. Once you read it, you will say "duh" and daily behavioral issues will END. You and DH won't need to argue about discipline because its will be easy and things will change almost overnight.
And, you will never have to yell at kids ever again to get them behaving. My grandmother was a teacher for 30 years and told me about this book. It has the principles she used in the classroom to control her students.