Did you date while you were trying to lose a lot of weight?

N

NinasLongAmbition

Well-Known Member
Hey ladies, I've gained a whole lot of weight in that past 2-3 years and don't feel as sexy but I am single and want to date. Should I try to date while I'm a work in progress or wait till I lose a good portion ?
 
I did a bit of both. Lol. I found s/o on my way to the gym. Lol. I said I'm busy and focused because I was still significantly off my health goal.

Almost 2 months of playing dodge (friendly, but still no give) and a bit closer to my goal, I gave him my contact info. And 3 months after that, he said we're in a relationship. Lol. The end.

I had intended to wait to live my life once back in fighting form. I'm glad I didn't. We have been together less than a year, but so far so good.
 
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depends on your definition of "a lot." im always trying to lose SOME weight.

for the most part... probably... no. i want to lose "SOME weight" right now, but, some consistent yoga and pretty regular effort of gym time even if its half ***ed has the weight im carrying now looking fairly deliberate/unimportant. plus i have the most toned legs and thighs in the world even if they are too goddamn fat. long story short: i shouldnt be dating right now but i am.

and important to bear in mind:

if i waited to date until i was my goal weight, i would never date.
 
I met my ex-DH while I was losing weight but I was still very heavy so I'm glad that I was open to dating. My confidence came from the acts of taking care of myself & not necessarily my size at the time.

Even though we aren't together anymore Im grateful for the experience.

Now that I'm single & a little older (DH & I were together for 13 years), I don't want to experience dating life as a plus size anymore. I think the pickings are slimmer because men are so visual.

If you are ready then go for it. You definitely don't want to put your life on hold for a number on the scale. Im just not ready to date & I recognize that.
 
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^^^ I definitely agree there. The kind of men who hit on me and attention I get now is very different than when SO was checking for me and significantly different when I was at my heaviest.

He notices too, but I think that's good for both of us. Keeps him on his toes.
 
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I don't see why you would wait. On the other hand I never received so much male attention in my life until after I lost weight. Oh my gosh....it's unreal :lol: I hated it :rofl: I actually struggled with it for awhile because some of them were men I had randomly seen for months (ie. working two offices down, having class together, passing each other in the gym, etc) and didn't have two words to say to me before. I had to realize that 99.95% of these guys that genuinely approached me had no idea what I looked like before :rofl: I'm sure you're a pretty lady, go for it! Add to your rotation girl :look:
 
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It depends on how you feel about yourself. If your confidence is still on par, go for it and have fun. If you're not your usual self because of your weight gain, then wait until your confidence is back. Men are attracted to confident women.
 
Nope. I'm 25 lbs down and have about 25 more to go until I reach my goal. I'm not comfortable at a bigger size because that's not me and it doesn't look good on me with how I carry my weight, so I'm not confident.

With these first 25 lbs gone though, I'm a lot more confident than I was. I'll be dating in 2015.

myspice, ITA.
 
IT matters but at the same time it didn't make a difference :drunk:

When I was smaller in college and high school I had *crickets* Gained 15-20 lbs I started getting more attention. So I guess it doesn't matter to men (CONFUSING)... BUT it matters to me.

I'm just not as confident/happy as I think I would be if I were smaller/more toned. I'm overly self-conscious and I hate it. So I WANT to date but I don't think I should, yet if I keep waiting for me to be at my goal weight I'll never date.

So I say try. It might give a small ego boost. Baby steps.
 
My situation is the opposite. I gained 20 lbs since I've met my SO. :look: It did/does make me feel self-conscious, but it hasn't affected our relationship. He's still attracted to me. I think if you want to date, then you should go ahead and date. Men are attracted to different body types. Plus, once you get serious with someone, they're going to see you at your best and at your worst. If it's the right person, they'll stick around.

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
 
Great advice from everyone. I was always a bigger girl but now I'm straight up over the edge I gained 35 lbs. I don't feel good, so I'm going to still dress cute and go out with my girls but as far as dating sites and being open I'm not ready yet due to my size.
 
i have taken breaks before when i felt like i just didnt look like myself. but generally i would chat with dudes online and drag it out til things were back to normal. depending on how long of a break youre planning to take that may not be feasible, but its a good way to ensure guys have to chat/get to know you for a long time before meeting.
 
I'm overweight and dating but I think I would have a lot more options and confidence if I lost weight.
 
In my dream world, I would like to lose 50 lbs, but realistically, I would be/look OK loosing 10-15 (I carry weight very well). In spite of that, I've continued dating and recently met SO. He is begging me not to lose any weight. Everything I want to change about my body, he loves. Different men like different things, so I say go for it. It's a very interesting confidence booster, but if we were to break up, I'd go back to being serious about weight loss because I know he is the exception rather than the rule.
 
Yea I need to lose at least 40 to 50 pounds. And I tend to notice I get a lot more attention from a different type of men when I start getting smaller. Its crazy because men are very visual and then not fair on the other hand, because what that tells me that they expect a woman to be that same size through everything. For me unless you are morbidly obese(beer gut etc) I wouldn't date the guy but I feel if he carries his weight well and isn't eating out and eating fast food breakfast, lunch and dinner(yea I had a ex that was like that---just greedy as all out) then we are good.
 
shouldnt matter much OP however more often the not theres a difference in the quality olf men when one is heavy and when one isnt

of course it also depends on how the person carries extra weight.
 
Absolutely! I've lost almost 25lbs since my divorce for a total of 220....195 of it being my ex husband...:lachen::lachen::lachen:

But I've been busy the whole time dating and having fun doing it. When I told my current situation how much I wanted to lose his response was "Don't, don't change anything....we'll hold each other where we need to lose weight" He has like zero weight to lose...but it felt good to know I was doing the weight lose solely for myself.
 
If anything dating motivated me to lose the weight. When I met Dh I was 30lbs overweight from my 2 boys. Within 6 months of dating him I lost it all. The excitement of new love, taking care of 2 babies and working full time got it off.
 
I am dating now and working on the weight loss. The guy I am seeing loves my body
as is, but supports me on my weight loss journey because I am doing it for me. I want
to lose the weight, but I am not going to put my life on hold until I get to my goal
weight.
 
Bronxcutie said:
I am dating now and working on the weight loss. The guy I am seeing loves my body
as is, but supports me on my weight loss journey because I am doing it for me. I want
to lose the weight, but I am not going to put my life on hold until I get to my goal
weight.
Click to expand...



I agree I can't stop my life because I'm overweight.

If anything dating can be used as a motivating force to lose weight.
 
If I had a lot of weight to lose I would take most of it off before dating. There's a certain kind of guy I'd be looking for and being really over weight wouldn't hook him. (or at least, HIGHLY unlikely and why decrease the odds?)
 
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