Hi, I sent some questions to a youtuber and he was nice enough to reply with a video response.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xecceuLTHxo
I wanted to know what do you ladies think about dating multiple men and not getting into a commitment until you get a ring on your finger and still waiting for marriage to have sex?
Have any of you ladies tryed this with any success?
Didn't see the video yet, I'm just going by your question. Yes and no. Meaning yes success because I'm engaged. But I only believe in part of what I understand to be your question.
I also believe in dating multiple men until you have a commitment...where I disagree is dating mutliple men despite someone being serious about you, and you only consider the relationship serious once he has a ring on it. Meaning despite his interest in a serious relationship you're still out dating away (even though you're interested too) but only because a ring isn't o your finger yet. I think some form of relationship is healthy before a guy (and you ) decide to make a lifetime commitment. If I am running around with 5 guys for months, and then someone proposes, I'll wonder if it's because he was in competition. How did we really get to know each other. TO me dating doesn't really tell you everything you need to know that a relationship does. Dating puts people on their best behavior imo. You meet what I think Chris Rock joked is everyone's "representative". I believe that's true. It gives you hints but that's it. I think a committed relationship tells you the rest of the story (and still that's without sex, but both of you focusing your energy into finding out if you're compatible without outside distraction).
Where we agree is waiting to have sex until marriage.
Once you're in an exclusive relationship with someone who is of the same mindset (interested in marriage and you as a possibility) you can drop the other guys without worry. You can date multiple men again if that relationship doesn't work out. That exclusive relationship has to be moving in the right direction (on both parties part with both in agreement) and if not the union is dissolved and you go on to find someone else. It shouldn't take forever for that to be decided, or else you think it's best that everyone part to find people that are right for them and headed in the same direction as their goals.
NOW while I do believe in waiting to have sex until marriage, I hold no judgements on others.
So although I will date multiple men, I will not have multiple sex partners (or any that I'm not married to).
My fiance and I have not had sex yet so it is possible and the right person will wait. It's excellent in that abstaining weeds out most of the guys who just want to play house anyways and get some free milk. But then of course you have other stuff to weed out. But I'd say the majority of the b.s is gone.
.
The ones who stay still need weeding out of course but at least the ones left standing are ones that are really interested in you seriously (meaning they know sex isn't coming until marriage. Who would stay if they didn't see themselves interested in that possibility? Sure some might for the challenge but once they realize you're the real deal...meaning you're not full of it you really will not make ANY exceptions to the "no sex before marriage rule" th
ey'll soon leave and make way for the guys who are really serious about you. So the ones left in the end...it's really about compatibility and love and that's pretty much it)
And just like any other guy you have to weed through jerks as well as a person having sex. So just because a guy will wait doesn't mean he's the right guy as that's not the only requirement. He has to have his ish together, be compatible, a guy without a ridiculous amount of sexual partners now looking for the "good girl" to settle down with as he's sowed his oats, a guy who does not have ideas of what a "good girl" is who is ready to put a ring on it just because of that (because though I don't have sex, I definitely have modern views and am a complete person. I'm not interested in being boxed into preconceived notions), and of coure we have a similar moral compass, he has to be intelligent, funny, established (or on his way to being so by being in college), and we have to be compatible (and of course I have to be attracted to him. My fiance just fit all the requirements that are non negotiable and I fell in love with him
and he realized I was worth waiting for so that's a good thing.
yes~~~
Interesting!!!!!
