Dating guys with kids.

Keshieshimmer

Keshieshimmer

Active Member
So I have this well connected guy friend who is supposed to be introducing me to educated, cool bachelors. He has a round about idea of what I am looking for.

So he re-introduced me to his friend. Now I had met this guy before and really didn't think much of him. Apparently my well connected friend pimped me out to this dude, because the next time I saw him, it was...different. He seems like a cool guy, but he is one of those guys where the instant attraction isn't there. I was alright with that. However he does not have a job, but he did just graduate this past Dec. So I could dismiss that. But most importantly he has a 5 year old daughter.

UGH. Look at 26 I feel that if I am coming to the table with no kids so should he. I talked to a guy friend removed from the situation, and he kinda made me feel bad that I am dismissing him because this guy had a kid.
 
Personally, I couldn't do it.

I understand he just graduated, but he doesn't have a job and he has a 5 year-old.

In the early dating stages I prefer to go out for dinner and drinks, maybe some fun activities like playing pool, going bowling, etc. It doesn't have to be an expensive date either. You can always grab coffee, go to a museum, etc. But knowing myself, I would feel some kinda way. I mean he has a child to support. She should be his priority, not trying to wine/dine/romance me.

I'm 26 as well. I don't have any children and I prefer to date guys who do not have children.

I mean, you say you weren't really attracted to him at first and he has a kid and that's also something you're not interested in.

I'm sure your buddy can find someone you're more compatible with.

This is just my opinion and I'm single so...:look: I'm no expert in dating, but if you're having doubts now it may only get worse over time.
 
Keshieshimmer said:
So I have this well connected guy friend who is supposed to be introducing me to educated, cool bachelors. He has a round about idea of what I am looking for.

So he re-introduced me to his friend. Now I had met this guy before and really didn't think much of him. Apparently my well connected friend pimped me out to this dude, because the next time I saw him, it was...different. He seems like a cool guy, but he is one of those guys where the instant attraction isn't there. I was alright with that. However he does not have a job, but he did just graduate this past Dec. So I could dismiss that. But most importantly he has a 5 year old daughter.

UGH. Look at 26 I feel that if I am coming to the table with no kids so should he. I talked to a guy friend removed from the situation, and he kinda made me feel bad that I am dismissing him because this guy had a kid.
Click to expand...

Ask this dude if he ever would date a woman with a child. Because I assure you, most men within that age bracket would ding her quick.

If he said yes, ask him if he'd be willing to get to know the child as well as the mother since if chooses to be with her, he will have to.

Men like to stick up for themselves. Don't listen to the nonsense.

If he just graduated, is he actively looking for the job?

But before I get ahead of myself, don't force this further. Throw up the deuces and move on. I don't know what you look like, but you are a beautiful black woman and there are plenty of men out there who will meet your requirements (you might have to date a bit older though). Don't settle.
 
It depends on how many he has, and I have to take a non judgemental approach as I have children.
 
An unemployed guy with a kid? I wouldn't even consider that.:nono:

How is he supposed to date you if he has no money for dates?
 
Please don't listen to your friend.

As a childless woman of 27, I don't entertain men w/ kids. And if you don't want to, you shouldn't have to. Kids are way too big a deal for you to take on when you really don't want to.

And I agree w/ the poster that said that most men wouldn't entertain it either
 
ladysaraii said:
Please don't listen to your friend.

As a childless woman of 27, I don't entertain men w/ kids. And if you don't want to, you shouldn't have to. Kids are way too big a deal for you to take on when you really don't want to.

And I agree w/ the poster that said that most men wouldn't entertain it either
Click to expand...

This!

Plus, I just don't understand how an unemployed father is even trying to date. He should be focused on two things: his child and finding a job to support them both.
 
If thats your preference then its your preference. At 26 years old I had a 7 yr old and if a guy dismissed me just because of that then it would've been his loss! It sounds like you were not into him anyway kid or no kid.
 
I wouldn't even if the guy was cute because I dont want to have a blended family.But after I hit 35 that may change since your at a point where you have to be a bit more open-minded about the pickings..I know some may not feel that way.I want to build a family and by him already having one he is already experienced the 1st child..I want a marriage filled with exciting first.
 
I don't have any kids, but I don't automatically rule out men with kids.

However, I do automatically rule out men that don't take care of, have a relationship or support their kids.

I think I would rule out somebody with no job before I would rule out someone with a job and a kid.

I guess like everything else, it just depends on the situation.
 
Zuleika said:
Wth is wrong with your friend, introducing you to a jobless man with a kid? :huh:
Click to expand...
My friend claims that he wasn't trying to set us up...um hum. He also said that he wouldn't do me like that. Well if that is the case he didn't explain that to his boy.

Apparently he played football professionally for a bit so he may have some money stored.

Well it is a non-issue now since I am not going to entertain anything serious or casual with him.
 
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