I say you have to change your options. There were many like you that found the love of their lives when I worked for a super successful matchmaker.
#1 Guys your age are...yes looking at younger women (mostly).And who cares? #1 Find the ones who aren't.
2) Find guys
older than you but who still have
it. There are guys who still keep themselves together and are say in their late forties for instance. Why rule them out?
3) Look always for guys who find you a catch.Period. Find guys who adore you.
4) Think about what's out there that is
good, not how many are not for you.
5) GO where you are loved. You like one on one places, find places that have the kind of guys you like(But make sure you're the kind of girl they like too. Don't be delusional about this be honest in your assessment).
6)Tell genuine friends and mentors that you are looking so they will recommend people and set you up on dates.
7)Find married women who love to match make (they rock) and just drop a subtle hint. If you don't know any, go places where they are and genuinely befriend them so that they will tell others.
8) Find activities with single people in your age group and higher and keep your mentality. It is perfect
9) Speaking of your mentality a time will come when you can drop some of that (I'm a fan of putting cards on the table in this age group because no one has time to waste. You want to filter immediately) but in a non aggressive way. You are looking for the love of your life only and perfectly content to be by yourself (which is why you are). There is nothing wrong with this outlook. You are also happy and would love to be with the love of your life but again it just has to be the right person. If you can say this jokingly serious and with a twinkle in your eye a guy will find it a challenge (men!) anyways
poor dears. Men are so typical with things like this. Oh and you have to mean it. I'm not into playing games and most men can see through this (it's a gift of theirs to see through women in these ways).
10) Speaking of filtering. Filtering is a good thing.
11) If you are online no desperation. I am not a fan of games but hey if this is a good way to filter. Let him respond once, if he responds again, then respond (of course that is if he responds in a polite/good way). IF he responds again, then respond and apologize and say you weren't sure if they were a match and that is why you didn't get back but then when he responded again you re looked at his profile and saw he liked X and you appreciate a guy who knows how to approach a woman politely so you wanted to say , "Hi". You love a strong man who knows how to pursue a lady right.
12)0
and/or you weren't sure if you were going to stay online (which I'm sure is true anyways...I know it would be for me) as it was just on a whim anyways so you were reluctant to reach out but as he reached out again, you just wanted to say something because maybe there is a reason for this and you are a spiritual person so what the hey. And besides, you love a guy who knows how to pursue a lady right and get her attention. BTW you may or may not stay on the site, you are deciding in the next few days so apologies if you do not respond after that as you might leave the site. And/or you are going out of town so may not be able to respond for a few days (you are, you are having your weekend and not checking any emails).
I prefer #2 because it is usually true for women and I am all about not playing games. Only say #1 if you believe it or are in a mood and want to on a whim. Or it's true which it could be. Again I'm all about anchoring a relationship in the truth but I'm also about filtering.
Both work to put the scales in your favor and set him on the path of pursuit. If he can't follow the scent, drop him. If you don't like him you don't owe him any favors...drop him. If he too this or that or not enough this or that, drop him. Again. Don't be desperate.
13)
And please have a fun pic of yourself smiling. It's not hard to smile. And have a short but witty opening that intrigues.
14) I'm giving you for free what we gave people for thousands of dollars. (of course there is more to it, I just analyzed your situation). So I hope you use some tid bits. They work. There is much more that you can do but I'd have to right a book. This can get you started.
Happy hunting. I'm in my thirties too, and just found out I'm quite ill but still see my value...I'll let you know when I'm married next year too :WINK: because I've decided to utilize the skills again on myself after this summer (I have to finish healing from surgery so I won't start till August ish) and I'm ready to get married. Invite me to your wedding, I'll send an invite for lhcf Nikos cousin table too
. I'm going to put up or shut up too.
Some of the ladies know I was engaged prior but I'm sending out energy to meet the love of my life and I believe I can do it again. It's not hard. AND I must say that I had a similar situation where I had to decide...do I want to deal with this forever (in my case it was his mother)? And also he was and is a good catch so am I crazy to let him go in my thirties (gnaw hand). ANd then I remembered matchmaking and who I was (a woman, a great one at that because we have to know that or else they will eat us alive and we will stay alone, and bitter, and worried about what's wrong with us and on and on)....and so I let him go...fast.
15)
Cultivate a good personality. Talk to people. Joke with people. Be fun. Know your worth now. I will give an example that happened recently at my lowest point (and I'm human so some of my jokes were cranky and sarcastic because I was in the hospital and not in the mood, but again my heart shone through and guys respond to that). So in reference to that...
000000
As for dude now I just had a funny situation where I did not want to be hit on and I had guys asking me out even while sick. It was only funny because my cousin kept pointing out the dudes hitting on me and lamenting. I had to turn it into funny so that I wouldn't get pissed at her, so I decided instead of letting into her for being rude about the guys hitting on me, that it was from a place of insecurity. As so as I realized that, I decided it was best to lighten the situation, so I teased her so she'd lighten up and stop obsessing over it. I love her but I'm not going to feel sorry that men are asking me out. One thing I'm good at is showing a mirror to someone and jokingly seriously making them cut it out and even laugh and get over their ish. She knows I'd help her if she'd just listen.
The situaton: Basically, I had a ticked off relative at the mayo clinic who was like what gives? You had surgery and doctors are asking you out. THAT happened twice in the hospital in my recovery. Plus men kept approaching me when I was in recovery having follow up appointents. My relative (cousin) was like "You're even in a wheel chair (I was weak)." ANd I was like bitter much. Plus most dudes were on the rich side so she was like how are you giving out these vibee? I was like, when you believe you're a catch , men see you this way. She even told people on her cell when I was around just to vent because she wasn't getting any love.
Example of guys: One was a consultant who was supposed to come only twice so I think he thought it appropriate to ask me out,...well I had no idea he was asking me out, I just was very friendly despite being in pain because I try to be optimistic about life. He even asked me about being a documentary producer because he looked me up online and some how we talked about their fish and what was the big deal. Apparently walleye is a huge deal in Rochester Minnosota (I was sent to the Mayo clinic and knew 0 about Rochester before arriving for surgery and also follow ups). He laughed and suggested the best restaurant but said he loved Rainbow better and loved to cook it...he could even do so for me...when I got better
that's when I was like, "huh". I was like, that's sweet. He gave me his card and asked me to please call. And if that wasn't enough he checked on me on his day off (and after he was no longer required to) just because he wanted to make sure I was "O.k" and still had his card.
And I didn't call him. Cause guess what. I was too focused on getting well. And I could still call him and I'm sure he would respond because I'd tell him the truth.So le shrug. Plus I have to filter if he's the savior type which is a good and bad thing. I do want a guy who wants me no matter what, but I don't want a guy who always wants to rescue women. So he has to be filtered carefully. Meanwhile..
The point is a good personality goes a long way. Especially in this age group. Women act so jaded in their 30s (rightfully so at times) that it is just off putting at the beginning. And I WAS cranky (in pain), just cranky funny (optimistic). So yes please be yourself but find some
joy.
I'm typing a lot because it's late at night and my pain levels are pretty low so I'm in a good mood. This huge letter typing isn't usual for me lately so I hope something is helpful in there. Even the part about the guy is there for a reason. You can attract people no matter what, no matter where, and good quality people at that.
15) The more you know your worth and expect, and deserve excellent treatment. The more you will not settle (reasonably come on now), the more guys are challenged to rise to your expectations and you radiate it. It just happens. So cultivate that mindset and you will find more men after you without trying. And I was on prednosone with a big swollen face so that's another reason my cousin was so livid. I think women think you have to "deserve" a guy because you look like X, Y, Z or do X, Y, Z. Nope you have to believe and know you deserve the love of your life and that you are worthy of and can attract men and then you will easily attract them.