DATING AN OLDER MAN
- Thread starter memee1978
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MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Any man keeping an eye on everything you do is bad thing!
If that's what's going on, age is the least of your worries.
MizAvalon
Well-Known Member
Any man keeping an eye on everything you do is bad thing!
If that's what's going on, age is the least of your worries.
Agreed. Can you elaborate a little more, OP?
honeybadgirl
New Member
your concern should be the fact that he may be a controlling person, to say the least. the age factor is a littler further down on the totem pole. that also could be why he's with a younger woman, to control and manipulate but like someone said, more info is needed
Everything Zen
Well-Known Member
My man is 11 years older than me and he has never been controlling like that!
My man is 23 years older than me and he does NOT track me like GPS. He leads a very busy live and since I am in grad school and I work fulltime my life is just hectic. We are both happy to have each other. If your man is acting like the law, and you like it, that is more of a daddy\daughter type relationship not a loving male\female realtionship.
ETA: My honey and I do not live together and never will. We discussed it, even if we end up married we will be one of those couples who keep seperate households. I have been married before and if ex and I had lived in seperate households we might still be married.
ETA: My honey and I do not live together and never will. We discussed it, even if we end up married we will be one of those couples who keep seperate households. I have been married before and if ex and I had lived in seperate households we might still be married.
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sugarbelle
Member
If it's not feeling right then trust your gut. BEWARE THE POSSESSIVE/CONTROLLING MAN!
Can you get out? How long has this been going on? It is time for you to go, after the first smack it was time for you to go. Why are you staying with him? Is it because of the money? Do you have kids with him? If so, how many?
sugarbelle
Member
Girl,
He sounds very crazy and you should not tolerate physical abuse. That is NEVER O.K.! Do you have a few close friends or family members that you can lean on for support during this time? Is it just you involved or do you have children? I don't know the city that you live in, but try to seek out a safe house in your area/city/town. He may be taking care of you financially but look at what you are going through for him to pay your bills! Please try to be safe, take care and make some solid good choices for yourself. Do not waste time thinking about him! If he really loved you, he would never do that to you! Think about it!
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blackmaven
Anything Is Possible
You don't need any man being controlling and hitting.
Leave for your own well being.
Leave for your own well being.
Bunny77
New Member
That makes it worse! This is not only hurting you, but your kids are seeing this and they might be getting abused too.
I know it's tough to do it on your own, but you have to... if not for your own safety, definitely for theirs!!!! Get out as fast as you can and get away from this man!
blackmaven
Anything Is Possible
Abusive relationships are not good for anyone. Your kids may grow up to think it is okay to hit on people wind up in jail.
Leave you deserve better no telling when that last punch will end your life.
tarheelgurl
Well-Known Member
Girl, pack your bags and leave stat. This is a textbook abusive relationship. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
sugarbelle
Member
EXACTLY!!!
Look in your telephone book(yellow pages) under"Social Service Organizations". I'm sure that one of those places will help you if you take the first steps! You sound scared, but close your eyes..whisper a small prayer for strength... get somewhere that you can use a telephone and call one of the organizations listed to help you!
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You need to seek out a woman's shelter if you are truly ready to go. They will keep you safe so he won't find you. It will work if you do what they tell you to do. Does your family know? If so you may have to distance yourself from them for a while. So they won't let him know what you are doing. If you don't want to get out for yourself, please get out for your kids.
honeybadgirl
New Member
i think it is! how old are you? you should be free and liberated to experience all the experiences of life and enjoy yourself! tastes the different fruits, grow, know yourself before you settle down and live with anyone! i wouldnt live with a man unless i was married anyway but thats another topic thats been covered several times on lhcf. you're not his property and you should be living as an independent woman w/o being dependent on any man!! do for yourself...always! dont depend on anyone to take care of you. its not worth living w/o freedom, having to answer to anyone, someone looking over your shoulder etc. be your own woman and just find somewhere else to live. you really owe it to yourself
blackmaven
Anything Is Possible
Oh honey, please leave this relationship and DO NOT give yourself any reason to go back nor communicate with him for ANYTHING.
Honey, any man who hits a woman is not safe to be with.
Let me share this also...
Most older men are very possessive. They feel 'entitled', especially when they are with a much younger woman. They realize their 'boys' are numbered (boys meaning 'active parts') and they are just mean and nasty.
It's one of the reasons I don't date older men.
They've been here on earth too long and they have 'crusty' attitudes from past experiences of being dusted; they are too set in their old ways. And if they don't have enough money, they have mean-ness to make up the difference. I'm not their property and I refuse to be. (Yes, when I was in college I was involved with an older man and even up to now, I have been propositioned by them...but not for me). I am a woman deserving of love, respect and tenderness and nothing less. So Are You much deserving of such...much better.
Baby, get out of that relationship and get out now. Pack your bags while he's out and do not tell him when nor where you are. It's none of his business. It's your safety and your life. How dare he touch you in a harmful manner!
It's not what you are created to be. If he's not man enough to treat you right, then he does not deserve you. Leave. Alert the police that you are leaving an abusive relationship and have a restraining order placed against him. Change jobs, leave town, just do what you have to do to be safe and don't ever go back.
Many people here care about you and will be praying for you. There are agencies that should be able to assist you in 'hiding' out from him until you can make safely on your own.
Leave this man, honey and live the good life that God has better for you. Okay?
God bless you precious one. 
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Bunny77
New Member
sassygirl2
Member
My advice to you is to start preparing yourself to leave meaning financially and mentally b/c is only going to get worse before it's gets better, and you know he could be checking everything you do to make him feel better for what he's doing on the outside. He's already gotten abusive with you so the best thing is to leave and don't look back.
NYAmicas
Seeker
memee-Please follow the advice the other ladies have given. This can get worse by tearing at your self-worth and none of what he is doing is "ok" or not that bad. Do whatever you can to plan your escape so that you can protect your children. Do you have any family or friends in the area?
JamericanGurl
New Member
The only thing old I like is cognac
erplexed Max I'll go is 10 years. I tried to date someone 20 years my senior once but just couldn't We had relatability issues.
erplexed Max I'll go is 10 years. I tried to date someone 20 years my senior once but just couldn't We had relatability issues.Similar threads
