Dating a guy with a physical disability..

[DayStar]

So my friend wanted to hook me up with his good male friend. Fine...ive never been on a blind date. Well i meet at our set location, and he is on crutches. He has Spina Bifida ( i believe i spelled it right)....he was a really nice guy, but just not someone i could date.....

can u date a guy with a physical disability?

 

[chebaby]

i hate to say this but no. well it depends. if i got to know him and we became close and it got to that level then yes. but if its a blind date or he tries to get me on the street then chances are im not even going to stop

 

[qlisa504]

if the guy had a very cute face and personality...but disabled people require a lot of attention. and you may have to be their caretaker so you have to decide if you are ready for that...i prob wouldn't

 

[Duchesse]

That is such a tough question.....makes me feel so superficial, but
I don't think that I could, but it depends upon the disability.

Mild cerebral palsy, yes, and I emphasize mild. Paralyzed and wheelchair bound prior to meeting, I would say no.

If his physical disability is such that we cannot partake in physical activities that I like, such as skating, going to amusement parks, taking long walks, I would probably start to resent him and regret my decision to date him. just being honest.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

If his physical disability is such that we cannot partake in physical activities that I like, such as skating, going to amusement parks, taking long walks, I would probably start to resent him and regret my decision to date him. just being honest.

Yeah. I would like to think that I could keep an open mind, but realistically, I would never want to put a man in the position of feeling like a burden or a source of frustration for me. I think over time, I would grow to appreciate the situation, but I could see myself waffling and having some doubt about my decision to commit. It's true that many people with disabilities have major needs, and I think that would wear on me over a 30-50 year marriage.

 

[Minx]

My honey has a disability that I did not know about until were had started dating, it's called degenerative disc disease.

To look at him you'd think he's fine, but his back makes it hard for us to do many things that require him to stand for long periods of time, and he can't play ball or go running, or any of that type or physical activity.

It gets frustrating for me at times, especially when he starts to whine about his chronic condition and he gets mad at the world because he's suffering and doesn't want anything to do with me or anybody else.......
He can be so mean at times.

It's draining, dealing with the psychology of it all.(He gave me a book to read for loved ones of people who have chronic conditions. Basically it tells you how not to take things personally so you can keep your sanity.)

Also, he does not want to be on the pain meds, the oxycodone's, so last year he detoxed and now he just deals with it, sometimes smokes herb, which I hate or drinks liquor, trying to self medicate, so we have this other mess going on now.....

If I knew back then what I know now, I would have made another choice, but I can't turn my back on him now.



dk

 

[drasgrl]

It would depend on the disability.

 

[Qualitee]

I feel bad for peopel like that. But it depends on what it is. How bad was it op?

 

[BillsBackerz67]

no. esp not at this point in my life. i would feel like a cartaker instead of a lover and the desire would diminish. Now if we were married, things would be completely different and I would be there for him.

 

[MizzBrown]

I would not. Life is hard as it is and i worry about taking care of my OWN self.

I don't feel bad about it because I know if i were to get in a car accident this morning and be in a wheelchair, my stock would plummet too and dating would be nearly nonexistent.

It is what it is.

 

[MizAvalon]

It would depend on the disablity and the severity of it but most likely, no.

 

[A856]

This is kinda long....

Well, i'm currently 'dating' a guy w/a disability. i never thought i would but this guy is AMAZING. He's wheelchair bound (was a victim of violence on the sreets/ wrong place at the wrong time) 15yrs now.
When I first saw him he was getting out of his car. I thought to myself 'oh look at him, he's in a wheelchair driving, he's by himself and he has a nice car. Then he spoke to me ' will you marry me?!'....I said hello and kept going. Thinking he was just like all the other just trying to holler....whatever. I go into work and see him there again he's like 'HEY!' we talk find out that we have tons in common. and we've been friends ever since.
The fact that he's in a chair doesn't bother me at all. I don't see that, if it bothered me soo much i would've never given him my number or even entertained the first conversation.
He's a very positive person, not mad at the world for is situtation.He's taught me a few things about life...hell and even how to dress!!! That's another thing he is an excellent dresser, from the suits with the hat to sean john sweat suit to roca wear jeans etc...he's very independent stays by himself his place is very clean and in order.

the next thing you're probably wondering...sex......i'll just say this, i've never hyperventilated or stuttered with anyone til i met him.....WOW!

I've never felt like a 'caretaker' i offer to help him all the time...open the door, carry stuff...he told me not to, he's suppose to do that and he does.
The only time I feel like 'do i want to do this forever' is when he want's me to massage his back...leave it up to him he'll never tell me to stop i could go on forever.....

 

[Sly]

My honey has a disability that I did not know about until were had started dating, it's called degenerative disc disease.

To look at him you'd think he's fine, but his back makes it hard for us to do many things that require him to stand for long periods of time, and he can't play ball or go running, or any of that type or physical activity.

It gets frustrating for me at times, especially when he starts to whine about his chronic condition and he gets mad at the world because he's suffering and doesn't want anything to do with me or anybody else.......
He can be so mean at times.

It's draining, dealing with the psychology of it all.(He gave me a book to read for loved ones of people who have chronic conditions. Basically it tells you how not to take things personally so you can keep your sanity.)

Also, he does not want to be on the pain meds, the oxycodone's, so last year he detoxed and now he just deals with it, sometimes smokes herb, which I hate or drinks liquor, trying to self medicate, so we have this other mess going on now.....

If I knew back then what I know now, I would have made another choice, but I can't turn my back on him now.



dk

^^^^ Here^^^^ is why I can honestly say "no, I would not". I applaud you dk, :notworthy your honey really has a 'gem'. I know he appreciates you tremendously.

 

[Duchesse]

This is kinda long....

Well, i'm currently 'dating' a guy w/a disability. i never thought i would but this guy is AMAZING. He's wheelchair bound (was a victim of violence on the sreets/ wrong place at the wrong time) 15yrs now.
When I first saw him he was getting out of his car. I thought to myself 'oh look at him, he's in a wheelchair driving, he's by himself and he has a nice car. Then he spoke to me ' will you marry me?!'....I said hello and kept going. Thinking he was just like all the other just trying to holler....whatever. I go into work and see him there again he's like 'HEY!' we talk find out that we have tons in common. and we've been friends ever since.
The fact that he's in a chair doesn't bother me at all. I don't see that, if it bothered me soo much i would've never given him my number or even entertained the first conversation.
He's a very positive person, not mad at the world for is situtation.He's taught me a few things about life...hell and even how to dress!!! That's another thing he is an excellent dresser, from the suits with the hat to sean john sweat suit to roca wear jeans etc...he's very independent stays by himself his place is very clean and in order.

the next thing you're probably wondering...sex......i'll just say this, i've never hyperventilated or stuttered with anyone til i met him.....WOW!

I've never felt like a 'caretaker' i offer to help him all the time...open the door, carry stuff...he told me not to, he's suppose to do that and he does.
The only time I feel like 'do i want to do this forever' is when he want's me to massage his back...leave it up to him he'll never tell me to stop i could go on forever.....

Well dayuuuuuum~! get it girl! He seems like a great guy and good luck!

There is this guy in my neighborhood (my mom actually used to babysit him) and he is very handsome and I used to have a crush on him. He has been wheelchair bound for over a decade, violence as well--very sad, and judging by the amount of chirrens he has, I don't think he's having any problems in that dept. either.

 

[fattyfatfat]

does he have a brother?

This is kinda long....

Well, i'm currently 'dating' a guy w/a disability. i never thought i would but this guy is AMAZING. He's wheelchair bound (was a victim of violence on the sreets/ wrong place at the wrong time) 15yrs now.
When I first saw him he was getting out of his car. I thought to myself 'oh look at him, he's in a wheelchair driving, he's by himself and he has a nice car. Then he spoke to me ' will you marry me?!'....I said hello and kept going. Thinking he was just like all the other just trying to holler....whatever. I go into work and see him there again he's like 'HEY!' we talk find out that we have tons in common. and we've been friends ever since.
The fact that he's in a chair doesn't bother me at all. I don't see that, if it bothered me soo much i would've never given him my number or even entertained the first conversation.
He's a very positive person, not mad at the world for is situtation.He's taught me a few things about life...hell and even how to dress!!! That's another thing he is an excellent dresser, from the suits with the hat to sean john sweat suit to roca wear jeans etc...he's very independent stays by himself his place is very clean and in order.

the next thing you're probably wondering...sex......i'll just say this, i've never hyperventilated or stuttered with anyone til i met him.....WOW!

I've never felt like a 'caretaker' i offer to help him all the time...open the door, carry stuff...he told me not to, he's suppose to do that and he does.
The only time I feel like 'do i want to do this forever' is when he want's me to massage his back...leave it up to him he'll never tell me to stop i could go on forever.....

 

[DayStar]

the next thing you're probably wondering...sex......i'll just say this, i've never hyperventilated or stuttered with anyone til i met him.....WOW!

Holla...What it do boo? how you doing? ..i heard that....im glad things worked out for you!! Get it!

 

[january noir]

My honey has a disability that I did not know about until were had started dating, it's called degenerative disc disease.

To look at him you'd think he's fine, but his back makes it hard for us to do many things that require him to stand for long periods of time, and he can't play ball or go running, or any of that type or physical activity.

It gets frustrating for me at times, especially when he starts to whine about his chronic condition and he gets mad at the world because he's suffering and doesn't want anything to do with me or anybody else.......
He can be so mean at times.

It's draining, dealing with the psychology of it all.(He gave me a book to read for loved ones of people who have chronic conditions. Basically it tells you how not to take things personally so you can keep your sanity.)

Also, he does not want to be on the pain meds, the oxycodone's, so last year he detoxed and now he just deals with it, sometimes smokes herb, which I hate or drinks liquor, trying to self medicate, so we have this other mess going on now.....

If I knew back then what I know now, I would have made another choice, but I can't turn my back on him now.
dk

Thanks for sharing your story dk. Hang in there darlin', you got it! :blowkiss:I'm sure your DH thanks God for you every night.

 

[january noir]

This is kinda long....

Well, i'm currently 'dating' a guy w/a disability. i never thought i would but this guy is AMAZING. He's wheelchair bound (was a victim of violence on the sreets/ wrong place at the wrong time) 15yrs now.
When I first saw him he was getting out of his car. I thought to myself 'oh look at him, he's in a wheelchair driving, he's by himself and he has a nice car. Then he spoke to me ' will you marry me?!'....I said hello and kept going. Thinking he was just like all the other just trying to holler....whatever. I go into work and see him there again he's like 'HEY!' we talk find out that we have tons in common. and we've been friends ever since.
The fact that he's in a chair doesn't bother me at all. I don't see that, if it bothered me soo much i would've never given him my number or even entertained the first conversation.

He's a very positive person, not mad at the world for is situtation.He's taught me a few things about life...hell and even how to dress!!! That's another thing he is an excellent dresser, from the suits with the hat to sean john sweat suit to roca wear jeans etc...he's very independent stays by himself his place is very clean and in order.

the next thing you're probably wondering...sex......i'll just say this, i've never hyperventilated or stuttered with anyone til i met him.....WOW!

I've never felt like a 'caretaker' i offer to help him all the time...open the door, carry stuff...he told me not to, he's suppose to do that and he does.
The only time I feel like 'do i want to do this forever' is when he want's me to massage his back...leave it up to him he'll never tell me to stop i could go on forever.....

WHOOOHOOOO! This is an amazing story! Get it Girl!

 

[Qualitee]

This is kinda long....

Well, i'm currently 'dating' a guy w/a disability. i never thought i would but this guy is AMAZING. He's wheelchair bound (was a victim of violence on the sreets/ wrong place at the wrong time) 15yrs now.
When I first saw him he was getting out of his car. I thought to myself 'oh look at him, he's in a wheelchair driving, he's by himself and he has a nice car. Then he spoke to me ' will you marry me?!'....I said hello and kept going. Thinking he was just like all the other just trying to holler....whatever. I go into work and see him there again he's like 'HEY!' we talk find out that we have tons in common. and we've been friends ever since.
The fact that he's in a chair doesn't bother me at all. I don't see that, if it bothered me soo much i would've never given him my number or even entertained the first conversation.
He's a very positive person, not mad at the world for is situtation.He's taught me a few things about life...hell and even how to dress!!! That's another thing he is an excellent dresser, from the suits with the hat to sean john sweat suit to roca wear jeans etc...he's very independent stays by himself his place is very clean and in order.

the next thing you're probably wondering...sex......i'll just say this, i've never hyperventilated or stuttered with anyone til i met him.....WOW!

I've never felt like a 'caretaker' i offer to help him all the time...open the door, carry stuff...he told me not to, he's suppose to do that and he does.
The only time I feel like 'do i want to do this forever' is when he want's me to massage his back...leave it up to him he'll never tell me to stop i could go on forever.....

That's what i'm talking about

 

[Lindy]

OK, I'm sorry to ask this but I genuinely want to know... If a guy is in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the waist down... how is he able to get an erection??

 

[tocktick]

generally speaking, no.

i have a friend who does though. apparently, he doesn't feel pain and is naturally extremely powerful. he is of normal build, short and doesn't work out yet has been known to be able to lift a car off the ground. they had some issues at the start of their relationship due to his disability. however, she liked him a lot before she found out and thinks he's "the one". he feels the same way about her.

 

[A856]

OK, I'm sorry to ask this but I genuinely want to know... If a guy is in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the waist down... how is he able to get an erection??

you can get a penile prosthesis and or pumps.....we haven't gotten that far yet ....i was really speaking orally he's a BEAST.... never would've know by looking at him, guess that's the gemini in him

 

[Qualitee]

OK, I'm sorry to ask this but I genuinely want to know... If a guy is in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the waist down... how is he able to get an erection??

I depends on where he had the spinal cord injury, most paralyzed men can get an erection.