Credit and Divorce (my personal story)

[spelmanlocks]

Thanks for this info and I'm sorry to hear this happened to you. Would the courts not let you come back and sue? It seems like he committed fraud.

 

[znapps]

I'm curious...how many of you knew about this "loop hole" before I told you?

If you had an attorney, your attorney should have known and should have advised you regarding this. That is what you paid him or her for.

The mediator is just there as a go between, not to give legal advice even if the mediator is an attorney. I would think that your attorney had a duty to inform you of this.

You may want to consult an attorney who specializes in professional malpractice to see what your rights are (if the SOL hasn't run...)

That's just my two-cents, and of course the above communication is meant for informative purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice, or evidence of an attorney client relationship...yada, yada, yada

 

[neonbright]

I was thinking the same thing as znapps, when my parents got divorce when I was 15 her attoney told my mom about the shared credit. Before anything was final the debt my mom and dad aquired was put in their name soley by the creditors thanks to the attorneys assistance. Her attorney told her if not, if my dad did file bankruptcy she would be responsible.

When I got married this is my first and only marriage and my hubsand second and I told him any debt beside the house or major investments would be in one or the other name not both. We have a shared checkings account, and seperate checkings and savings accounts also. I am a brat, I like to have my own money also, not saying that we don't share money but the shared account is to pay bills first and spoil me later.

Yes as we can see on TV, even the stars are having a hard time keeping the money they make. Without a prenupt, my cousin who is an attorney won't get married without one and her finance is an attorney. They both inheirted money and make about the same pay.

 

[chellero]

That is so awful. I think the fact that he doesn't feel a moral obligation to take the stress of this debt off of the mother of his child speaks volumes about his character. I had no idea that someone could get away with what your ex husband pulled. I also thought that once a debt was discharged in no one had to pay it. I wouldn't be surprised if the creditors wrote these debts off as bad debt for the tax break and then still tried to collect it from you. They do sneaky things like that.

Anyway, I'm sorry that happened to you, but I am so impressed with how you are dealing with it. You have probably helped a lot of people by sharing this information.

 

[Integrity]

It sounds like he had this planned all along. I am sorry to hear this.

I agree. His attorney may have advised him to do that. I am surprised your attorney did not realise this as well

 

[gone_fishing]

It's more complicated than that.

At the time of our divorce my ex was making a significant income and we had great credit and great credit scores. He was making almost 6 figures a year (overseas but was working for DIFFERENT foreign company at the time).

We had no reason to think that he would file for bankruptcy. In fact, he wouldn't have even qualified for bankruptcy and so then him taking on all the debt didn't really appear to be much of a burden for him.

I think if we had been in financial distress to begin with I would have thought of this on my own (just speculating though).

He was sneaky in that he waited a full almost 2 years after our divorce to file for the bankruptcy so there was no appearance of fraud and I've been through the avenue with a bar complaint and all. There was no way I could prove he intended to do this the entire time. Particularly since the company he worked for at the time of the divorce maintains that he was "fired" and that he didn't quit - even though I truly believe he quit.

I've done lots of research on it and I wrote a letter to the federal trade commission who in return pointed me to their website and the link I posted.

I am not going to put myself through the added stress of reliving the issue over and over again by trying to re-litigate what has already transpired but I did want to share it with you all.

I know you all are trying to help so I appreciate the ideas about how to make him or the attorney pay for what happened but I'm choosing to handle things differently.

No worries. As I said, I am paying on a consolidation loan and all is well and I am stronger and wiser than before.

One day my ex will see what he has done and he'll either help, reimburse, or he'll suffer in whatever way karma decides for what he did. I don't even have to or want to be there to see it. God will bless me for relying on Him to meet my families needs.

 

[Integrity]

That is so awful. I think the fact that he doesn't feel a moral obligation to take the stress of this debt off of the mother of his child speaks volumes about his character. I had no idea that someone could get away with what your ex husband pulled. I also thought that once a debt was discharged in no one had to pay it. I wouldn't be surprised if the creditors wrote these debts off as bad debt for the tax break and then still tried to collect it from you. They do sneaky things like that.

Anyway, I'm sorry that happened to you, but I am so impressed with how you are dealing with it. You have probably helped a lot of people by sharing this information.

Yes. I am so angry. You have a child with him and he has never once metioned or attempted to help you out. What a.....

 

[SweetNic_JA]

It's more complicated than that.

At the time of our divorce my ex was making a significant income and we had great credit and great credit scores. He was making almost 6 figures a year (overseas but was working for DIFFERENT foreign company at the time).

We had no reason to think that he would file for bankruptcy. In fact, he wouldn't have even qualified for bankruptcy and so then him taking on all the debt didn't really appear to be much of a burden for him.

I think if we had been in financial distress to begin with I would have thought of this on my own (just speculating though).

He was sneaky in that he waited a full almost 2 years after our divorce to file for the bankruptcy so there was no appearance of fraud and I've been through the avenue with a bar complaint and all. There was no way I could prove he intended to do this the entire time. Particularly since the company he worked for at the time of the divorce maintains that he was "fired" and that he didn't quit - even though I truly believe he quit.

I've done lots of research on it and I wrote a letter to the federal trade commission who in return pointed me to their website and the link I posted.

I am not going to put myself through the added stress of reliving the issue over and over again by trying to re-litigate what has already transpired but I did want to share it with you all.

No worries. As I said, I am paying on a consolidation loan and all is well and I am stronger and wiser than before.

It bothers me to read your story, but I am CONFIDENT you'll rebound from this. You have a great head on your shoulders...just take this as a lesson learned. Perhaps there are other loopholes out there that you can use to get around these -$43K. I mean, if there are legitimate ways to write-off investment losses, then there probably is a way to get around this suddenly incurred debt.

I wish I were in economics...I'll call my ex and see if he knows of anything.


ETA I just spoke to my ex (who is a CFA) and he didn not have much to say except that it doesn't sound like the creditors have the legal rights to call or seek after you. Basically he said that if there was an agreement on paper then you should fight the creditors. As long as everything is in writing then you should not be liable. Do you have paperwork proving your agreement (I apoligize if I may have skipped over any mention of that).

 

[znapps]

It's more complicated than that.

At the time of our divorce my ex was making a significant income and we had great credit and great credit scores. He was making almost 6 figures a year (overseas but was working for DIFFERENT foreign company at the time).

We had no reason to think that he would file for bankruptcy. In fact, he wouldn't have even qualified for bankruptcy and so then him taking on all the debt didn't really appear to be much of a burden for him.

I think if we had been in financial distress to begin with I would have thought of this on my own (just speculating though).

He was sneaky in that he waited a full almost 2 years after our divorce to file for the bankruptcy so there was no appearance of fraud and I've been through the avenue with a bar complaint and all. There was no way I could prove he intended to do this the entire time. Particularly since the company he worked for at the time of the divorce maintains that he was "fired" and that he didn't quit - even though I truly believe he quit.

I've done lots of research on it and I wrote a letter to the federal trade commission who in return pointed me to their website and the link I posted.

I am not going to put myself through the added stress of reliving the issue over and over again by trying to re-litigate what has already transpired but I did want to share it with you all.

No worries. As I said, I am paying on a consolidation loan and all is well and I am stronger and wiser than before.

The bar complaint and possible tort suit would be against the attorney who represented YOU for not telling you of this loophole (it comes up in several law school classes -- I like the repetitive nature of some of this stuff).

It would be impossible to prove that your ex or his attorney made the offer in bad faith unless you got your hands on a memo laying out that legal strategy, but your attorney should have had your back and explained the ramifications of any settlement, consent decrees, etc. (For instance, when ppl sign consent decrees they sometimes end up losing rights they would have had under the law -- even if it isn't explicitly laid out that they are signing away their rights)

People should never be afraid to sue a lawyer for their mistakes, just like people sue doctor's for thiers -- but that is just one black woman's opinion.

Again, NOT LEGAL ADVICE.....

 

[gone_fishing]

The bar complaint and possible tort suit would be against the attorney who represented YOU for not telling you of this loophole (it comes up in several law school classes -- I like the repetitive nature of some of this stuff).

It would be impossible to prove that your ex or his attorney made the offer in bad faith unless you got your hands on a memo laying out that legal strategy, but your attorney should have had your back and explained the ramifications of any settlement, consent decrees, etc. (For instance, when ppl sign consent decrees they sometimes end up losing rights they would have had under the law -- even if it isn't explicitly laid out that they are signing away their rights)

People should never be afraid to sue a lawyer for their mistakes, just like people sue doctor's for thiers -- but that is just one black woman's opinion.

Again, NOT LEGAL ADVICE.....

Thank you for your advice (not legal advice). I'm not interested in filing a law suit though.

I work for a law firm and I'm aware from the senior partner of this firm of what I could have done and what I could still do. I do know you are trying to help and I thank you for that.

I will handle it and things will turn out fine. Even if the attorney erred in not explaining that this could happen, it's not his fault that it did happen. Faced with that information I still wouldn't have believed that my ex would file for bankruptcy because at the time he wasn't entitled.

I don't think filing suit is always the answer.

I will make it through regardless.

I don't want to sound ungrateful but I didn't post this thread for advice. I just wanted to let anyone who didn't know this could happen that it can.

 

[CarefreeinChicago]

Dang sorry this happened to you but thanks for the heads up.

 

[znapps]

Thank you for your advice (not legal advice). I'm not interested in filing a law suit though.

I work for a law firm and I'm aware from the senior partner of this firm of what I could have done and what I could still do. I do know you are trying to help and I thank you for that.

I will handle it and things will turn out fine. Even if the attorney erred in not explaining that this could happen, it's not his fault that it did happen. Faced with that information I still wouldn't have believed that my ex would file for bankruptcy because at the time he wasn't entitled.

I don't think filing suit is always the answer.

I will make it through regardless.

I don't want to sound ungrateful but I didn't post this thread for advice. I just wanted to let anyone who didn't know this could happen that it can.

No problem (it wasn't legal advice), but for someone else facing this situation it may be the answer.

I sat in family court last week and several situations came up where people signed consent decrees and got kicked in the rear years later because of things they either didn't want to believe would happen at the time or that their attorney didn't properly advise them about. Sad to watch and always the custodial parent (but one week in one court is a small snapshot).

I'm glad you have closure and have moved on.

 

[MochaSilk]

Girl, I was pissed off just reading this post!!! I'm so sorry this happened to you.

I will never understand why folks can't just quietly go on their way when a relationship/marriage ends? Why you gotta try to ruin the person's life/credit/financial stability?!

That's alright though. He got his coming. You just handle your biz in the meantime.

That's what I'm wondering!!! My ex dealt me a blow (not financially) 7 years ago that was just rectified earlier this month. He KNEW what he was doing at the time and used it as a bargaining chip to get back together. That blow came back and bit me in the behind earlier this year.

I did what you did, adequate. Took the blow, sucked it up and paid out the nose to correct it.

We didn't end the marriage as friends, but I NEVA thought he'd turn into such a deceitful and calculating person! Someone posted months ago a phrase that will stick with me forever.... Karma Don't Sleep.

............. I stay on top of all our finaces. Not only is dh a mortal man, which means he's capable of anything, he's also an attorney, I aint crazy. I believe men are alot more calculating than we think AND I think we put far too much trust in them with OUR lives only to get put in these situations. I always believe men put themselves first no matter what they say or do. I have not yet a man yet that puts everything on the line like we so often do. They say they do/will but in instances of divorce..they always come out 'protected'

That was a HARD lesson for me to learn, but I will not make that mistake again. I'm remarried, but my behind is covered, or 'protected.' My hubby is my angel, my treasure, my love and divorce isn't on the horizon. BUT, I cannot afford to think that if divorce happens that he won't try to hand my a$$ to me in court. That experience with my first marriage taught me to never put anything past anyone.

Thanks for sharing this, adequate. No, I didn't know about that particular loophole. And thanks, znapps for offering your take on it as well. Options are always nice to have in the arsenal should that situation arise.

 

[gone_fishing]

It bothers me to read your story, but I am CONFIDENT you'll rebound from this. You have a great head on your shoulders...just take this as a lesson learned. Perhaps there are other loopholes out there that you can use to get around these -$43K. I mean, if there are legitimate ways to write-off investment losses, then there probably is a way to get around this suddenly incurred debt.

I wish I were in economics...I'll call my ex and see if he knows of anything.


ETA I just spoke to my ex (who is a CFA) and he didn not have much to say except that it doesn't sound like the creditors have the legal rights to call or seek after you. Basically he said that if there was an agreement on paper then you should fight the creditors. As long as everything is in writing then you should not be liable. Do you have paperwork proving your agreement (I apoligize if I may have skipped over any mention of that).

Hun, I don't mean to sound superior but please look at the link in my original post. I'm afraid your SO is incorrect.

 

[DivaRox]

It sounds like he had this planned all along. I am sorry to hear this.

Yup, and as skanky a move as it is, it's also quite brilliant. Every man for himself right? Thanks for the heads up- and thanks for sharing. I'm sorry you're now stuck with the debt-sounds like a very expensive lesson. Can you pursue this in a civil court maybe?

 

[SweetNic_JA]

Hun, I don't mean to sound superior but please look at the link in my original post. I'm afraid your SO is incorrect.

No worries at all. You lived the experience, and I keep forgetting this happened sometime ago. So you dealt personally with the legal system in trying to resolve this issue and I'm sure you investigated all avenues.

 

[ThickHair]

So said but I think he wanted to absorb all the debt and file for bankruptcy and both of you would be out. It was his half a$$ed way to save you both but bankruptcy has changed over the years.

Good luck.

 

[tarheelgurl]

Have to agree with the rest, it sounds like he planned it out from the begining. I am so sorry you got caught up in all of this.