Couples Therapy/Counseling?

[Libra08]

Has ladies! My SO and I had really rocky/traumatic childhoods that make it difficult to really communicate. He withdraws, and I just bottle everything that I know I should say to him inside. I was wondering if any of you ladies have gone through couples therapy/counseling (not marriage counseling)? How was your experience? I feel kinda silly wanting to go to couples therapy when we aren't even married, but I also want to create stability in this relationship and work out some things before we consider engagement in the future.

 

[PeaceFlow]

Its not silly at all. The earlier you get couples therapy, the more likely it is to work. Plus when it comes to individual weaknesses from the past they will follow you around in relationships, friendships and work anyway. I think we should improve communication for ourselves as well as for relationships. To be free, fearless and move on from the past.

I went for similar reasons with bad communication habits from childhood. It was a really hard process tbh, but this year has been amazing and we are stable. We went to a transactional analysis therapist though who deals specifically with communication patterns.

 

[Britt]

I think it's great and commendable that you both are open to going to couples therapy. I think it's even better that you're going before you get married. It's helpful that you both see your patterns early on and are willing to work on it. I tend to bottle up my feelings in relationships and I did so with my last relationship particularly. It's not healthy and if I think my relationship was worth saving, I would have gone to therapy with my ex SO.

 

[kaykari]

Im doing this now. ::sigh:: We are only 2 sessions in so I dont have good advice yet.

 

[MizAvalon]

It's great that you guys are going to therapy. Like a previous poster said, you have individual issues that need to be worked on. Even if you guys don't stay together it's good to work on those issues because they will follow you around from relationship to relationship anyway.

I know someone that is in counseling now with her boyfriend. She feels it's helping.

 

[biznesswmn]

I have gone and found it useful. The counselor we saw made a point to let us know he wasnt there to tell us what to do as much as to help us see how we were each contributing to the problems we were experiencing in our marriage. Very eye opening.

Side question to OP: whats the difference btw couples vs marriage counseling?

 

[Libra08]

Thanks ladies for the responses. Biznesswmn, I'm not sure what the difference is. On the websites I've visited so far they make sure to include both couples therapy and marriage counseling. Maybe marriage counseling also focuses on shared financial decisions? There's also pre-marital and pre-engagement counseling as well. I'm new to this counseling stuff so I just researched couples therapy since it sounded like it fit our situation best.