Common Courtesy

[CORBINS]

In your mind...create a social situation. There is a woman across the room at a party that just waved your man over to her and they happily greet each other. He brings her over to be introduced to you. You have no idea who this woman is.


Now rewind. Do you think it is common courtesy for your boyfriend to inform you before-hand that this person is an EX?

How would you feel if you were introduced to someone and you had no idea that they dated. Does it matter? I need someone else's opinion on this matter.

This has not happened to me.........yet.

Replies greatly appreciated!

 

[Makenzie]

I would like to know beforehand, but would not make an issue out of it.

 

[ThickHair]

No, he doesn't have to inform before hand, because stuff like that is usually spontaneous. I would expect him to tell soon after her departure though.

I don't know guys who usually go around introducing their ex to the new one unless they can't get out of the situation.

If I am out and about and I happen to see my exhusband and I am with my FH. I would never stay, Raheem, this is Kyle my exhusband. I would say Raheem this is Kyle. My FH already knows my exhusbands name so if I introduce him to "Kyle" he would know that is the "Kyle" Or I may mention as soon as we part company, BTW that was my exhusband, Kyle. Kyle really isn't important to me at this point in time. I would expect FH to do the same.

It isn't an issue unless people make it an issue. BTW for the most part I am cool with my exhusband.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

It's not that big of a deal unless he's drooling over her lol! THEN we have a problem

Otherwise I don't care.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

I think it would be more awkward for him to say "babe this is Kelly, we used to date." It would be better if I knew beforehand or he told me after. Maybe as we're walking if there's time.

 

[cutiepiebabygirl]

Ideally the situation would have went down like this for me:

" Hey there's Gina, my ex-gf, let's go say hey."

I wouldn't blow up over it/argue...but I think that would have been more appopriate.

I would let him know how I felt about it though.

 

[Sosoothing]

If he knew she would be there too I would expect him to tell me before we got to the party.
If he didn't know, Im not bothered by him not telling me who she was before walking over to her. He was probably surprised and didn't have time to think about all that. Its respectful enough in my opinion that he brought her over and introduced her.
After she leaves, I hope he will tell me more about how they know each other.

 

[CORBINS]

I think my point is that it isn't necessary to know every woman he has been with, or for him to introduce us as past/present. I think that letting a person know ahead of time would be nice. What if you meet someone that dated the person you're with and that person tries to become your bestie? Or what if she happens to mention that she used to date your man? I think that knowing will create a better situation for everyone.

 

[ThickHair]

I think my point is that it isn't necessary to know every woman he has been with, or for him to introduce us as past/present. I think that letting a person know ahead of time would be nice. What if you meet someone that dated the person you're with and that person tries to become your bestie? Or what if she happens to mention that she used to date your man? I think that knowing will create a better situation for everyone.

You really can't control life like that, things happen. Especially in social settings it is very spontaneous. I say go with the flow.

 

[donna894]

I think my point is that it isn't necessary to know every woman he has been with, or for him to introduce us as past/present. I think that letting a person know ahead of time would be nice.

What if you meet someone that dated the person you're with and that person tries to become your bestie? Or what if she happens to mention that she used to date your man? I think that knowing will create a better situation for everyone.

If something happened that was not planned (that is, spontaneous), then how is he supposed to let you know ahead of time?

If I thought what if this, and what if that, I would lose my mind right along with the relationship. It's just not that serious... Men don't always think like we do. He may have thought that by introducing you he was showing common courtesy. Not introducing you at all would have been rude. Is there something else going on that is bothering you? Do you think he planned this and didn't tell you or...

 

[CORBINS]

If something happened that was not planned (that is, spontaneous), then how is he supposed to let you know ahead of time?

If I thought what if this, and what if that, I would lose my mind right along with the relationship. It's just not that serious... Men don't always think like we do. He may have thought that by introducing you he was showing common courtesy. Not introducing you at all would have been rude. Is there something else going on that is bothering you? Do you think he planned this and didn't tell you or...

No, this has not happened. BUT....I've been friends on Facebook with one of his ex's and didn't know they dated. I found a picture of her topless in some of his old pictures and asked him about it, he confirmed that they did date.

I think that it would have been nice for him to tell me that he dated her. I don't need to know anything more. Just so I don't look like an idiot. Here she is looking all up in my junk and I look stupid because she knows something that I don't. Ya DIG?

After finding out that he is still friends with most of his ex's, and there are many, I asked him to give me a heads up if he knows one of them will be at the same place that we will be going. If he doesn't know they are going to be there, then I dont' care. I guess I need to know too much. Women talk, that's what we do, we like to be informed.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

I like to be in the know on these things. If my BF didn't know his ex was at a social event no biggie, just tell me when the timing's right. If he does know I would appreciate a heads-up before-hand.

Many here seem to think the past should remain the past but I disagree. In my experience, how a guy feels or regards his ex is indicative of how his relationship with me will be, or how a break up could be.

 

[Godyssey]

For me, the thing I'd be most upset about is that he left me standing or sitting somewhere because another woman, regardless of who she was waved him over. I think it was rude on both parts, his and the ex. He should've taken his wife with him or even better, waved the girl come over to them. On her way over or on their way over, he could say thats my ex.

If she came up to US and introduced herself or we bumped into her together, it would be fine. I wouldn't care if she was an ex. For me, meeting ex's is no biggie but it should be known or explained, that the person was an ex.

I just don't play about staring at other women in my presence (for whatever reason) or leaving me alone to go over to another woman (If I don't know who she is). I think both look bad although the latter has never happened to me.

My belief is that when a man is with a woman, he should act like she is the most important woman in the room. So, leaving her because another woman beckoned him doesn't look good, imo.

 

[Ballerina_Bun]

For me, the thing I'd be most upset about is that he left me standing or sitting somewhere because another woman, regardless of who she was waved him over. I think it was rude on both parts, his and the ex. He should've taken his wife with him or even better, waved the girl come over to them. On her way over or on their way over, he could say thats my ex.

If she came up to US and introduced herself or we bumped into her together, it would be fine. I wouldn't care if she was an ex. For me, meeting ex's is no biggie but it should be known or explained, that the person was an ex.

I just don't play about staring at other women in my presence (for whatever reason) or leaving me alone to go over to another woman (If I don't know who she is). I think both look bad although the latter has never happened to me.

My belief is that when a man is with a woman, he should act like she is the most important woman in the room. So, leaving her because another woman beckoned him doesn't look good, imo.

I agree. If the man is with his wife or SO, let that woman come over to them. He SHOULD explain who she is too. If he doesn't, the woman will pick up on it and he will just have to explain afterwards. Better to tell her before!

 

[MissYocairis]

I just don't care. That's too minute of a detail to worry about. He can tell me who she was later or after she walks away. It's not that serious for me. But, OP, in your situation, it's different because he did not introduce the two of you. You were fb friends with this person of your own accord. How do you know he has gone through your entire friends list? He didn't bring her to you...you brought her to you when you friended her right?

FB is so evil. When you allow people that you barely know access to your page, you have to know that all of your statuses, all of your connections, all of your affiliations and pictures are now open for these strange people to see.

I'm not sure why this means your SO is at fault here. Perhaps once he discovered you and she were fb friends, he figured you probably knew he once dated her....maybe he didn't really know how close or how distant of an acquaintance she is to you? IDK. In my city, everybody knows everybody and there is a lot of overlap. Not to mention there are six degrees or less of separation between everyone in the world.

It just doesn't matter to me. The only thing that matters to me is us being together. Not random outside former flames.